Re: AGGRESSION 56: The Heirs of Wrestling vs. The Outliers (Akita, Hans & Wong-Pei)
(FADE-IN: We find our heroes of the day – none other than the HEIRS OF WRESTLING, EPW’S TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS OF THE WORLD!!!! – driving the vast, open roads on the way to the very next location of Aggression. But they don’t appear to be taking one of their limos. They’re not even taking a cab just to antagonize the driver with questions about 72 virgins and what exactly Meekrab is. Nope… Mack Brody, the enforcer of the Heirs just celebrated his 25th birthday. And what the hell does that mean?
Well, first of the Heirs who can legally rent a car. Hooray!)
MACK BRODY: Wait… why do I have to drive? All I had to do was rent the car?
RYAN GALLWAY: Because… I’m holding the camera.
MACK BRODY: And why isn’t Frank driving?
(In the back seat, Frank Pierce has his nose in his Kindle – with Wi-Fi AND 3G… on AT&T’s network… so it might as well be just the Wi-Fi version – engrossed in his reading. He peaks his head up from the device and snorts.)
FRANK PIERCE: Are you ****TING me? These hands were not made for driving… ugh, a sports utility vehicle. Alexandria is catching the red-eye out of Arizona tonight… Rye has the camera since we’re not sharing the same space with those EPW mouthbreather cameramen… so by process of elimination, that leaves you.
MACK BRODY: Fine.
(The three men remain silent for a few moments as Mack continues to bob and weave through the busy afternoon traffic along the interstate.)
MACK BRODY: So who are we fighting again?
RYAN GALLWAY: The Outliers. Some guys named Akita, Hans, and Wong-Pei. I have NO idea what an Outlier is, aside from using Wikimobile… uh… So according to the disambiguations page… they’re either observation that is numerically distant from the rest of the data… an area of younger rock surrounded by an area of older rocks… anomaly detection in data mining… oh, wait, there’s more under exclave.
FRANK PIERCE: …****. Mack, he’s Wikioverloading… stop him!
(Mack snatches the iPhone 3GS – he hated the antenna death on the iPhone 4G – and tossed it out the window.)
RYAN GALLWAY: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! MY PIPBOY!
FRANK PIERCE: Ryan, I refuse to sit here and be the victim of another WikiLoad. Mack… talk some **** and take us out, I’m getting to the good part.
MACK BRODY: Uh… let’s see… Outliers… Akita, Hans, and Wong-Pei… **** you all. Oh, and I’ll throw something out there for all of the hopefuls in the Lethal Lottery… uh… **** YOU ALL.
RYAN GALLWAY: …WIN!
(And with that, we fade to black. Why? Cause uh… Mack, take it home.)
MACK BRODY: …**** YOU ALL!