Non-Title: Animezing Dragon (cc) vs. Rezin & Anarky
DT: Okay, ladies and gentlemen, it's time to get our first match underway! Tony Fatora is standing ready in the ring!
SFX: *DING! DING!*
[BLACK-OUT!]
Crowd: "HU-WUH~!?!"
MN: Uh-oh... that CAN'T be good...
[CUEUP: "Bonehead" by Naked City.]
[A deafening cacophony of noise and jagged rhythms blasts through the PA with such force that the capacity crowd can't help but react in outright agony. Nightmarish strobes emit pulsating bursts of light so fierce it would put any epileptic into a seizure. Somewhere beneath the din, we can hear a headset dropping.]
DT: OH MY GOD, WHAT THE HELL IS HAPPENING?!
DM: What the... Mike... MIKE!!
DT: Ladies and gentlemen, I'm not quite sure how to explain the experience we're going through right now! Complete and utter CHAOS has just erupted through the entire arena!
[The camera gets a few shots of various people in the crowd covering their ears and children crying in alarmed confusion... then all attention comes to stage where two figures sulk through the flickering haze around the entry-way.]
DM: Who IS that?!
[As the music cuts and the lights come back up, revealing REZIN standing on the stage. Tthe capacity crowd breaks out in massive jeers and vile curses.]
DT: REZIN!!
DM: Somehow, I'm not surprised!
DT: My God, what happened to MIKE!!
DM: MIKE!! Mike...?
[We cut back to the commentary table as Mike Neely, looking as though he'd just been blown through a hurricane, pulls himself back into his chair and puts the headset back on.]
DT: You okay, Mike?
MN: Oh MOTHER MARY... sorry, fellas, I must've blacked out there for a second! For a minute there, I thought I was DEAD and in HELL!! Speaking of, what the HELL just happened?
DM: Look to the stage and see for yourself, Neels!
[Smirking, the Goat Bastard raises a mic.]
REZIN: Tony... if you know what's good for you, then you better get your FAT ASS out of that ring.
[Tony Fatora, caught in the process of covering his head for dear life amidst the preceding chaos, quickly obliges and tumbles awkwardly through the ropes. The Goat Bastard proceeds down the ramp with a vile smirk.]
Crowd: "RE-ZIN-SUCKS!! RE-ZIN-SUCKS!!"
REZIN: "MEH-BLIH-BLUH!! MEH-BLIH-BLUH!!" FOUR LEGS GOOD, TWO LEGS BETTER!! FOUR LEGS GOOD, TWO LEGS BETTER!!
DM: This isn't Animal Farm...
MN: Wait... when did we have farm animals here? Are there goats?
DT: Yeah, there's one right there...
REZIN: Do you stupid SHEEP even hear yourselves?! Or do you just WILLINGLY go through your short, meaningless lives,,, spouting off monotonous mantras fed to you by the marketing machine that profits off your vicarious bloodlust?
Crowd: "BOOOOOO!!!"
DM: I'm actually quite surprised that Rezin has the intellectual capacity to make an Orwell reference.
MN: What's an Orwell?
DM: ...nevermind, Neels.
[Rezin lazily rolls into the ring and sits up, reclining against the lower set of ropes.]
REZIN: Excuse me for the interruption... but I wanted to come out here and give a special introduction to a new friend of mine, and I want you all to be very respectful when he comes out...
Crowd: "BOOOOOOOO!!!!"
REZIN: BUT... before I get into all that... there's a few things I wanted to say to a couple guys who recently went out of their way to send some verbal viritol in the direction of the ol' Goat Bastard. Coincidentally, both of these guys are in tonight's main event, fighting for the disgrace that is our World Heavyweight "Championship"...
[He pulls himself up to his feet using the ropes.]
REZIN: CAMERON CRUISE... you know whut, budday? If I didn't know any better, I'd say you were pretty bitter after that last match of ours. I don't blame you... I'd be embarrassed to lose to me, too. But do you remember what I told you then? How you'd sweep in on a young, stupid champ on the FIRST [heh] chance you get? Totally called it. You spite my name, but really, you should be THANKING you. If kicking your ass was all you needed to get motivated, then I guess I'm just happy to help.
Unfortunately... now that you FINALLY have your eyes set on the World Title... it just means I'll have to kick your ass AGAIN. I'm not like forgotten punks like Rocko Daymon and Troy Douglas. I'm more like Beetlejuice. Drop my name three times, and I pop up out of the floor and royally set you askew with my mind-blowing high-flying muthafuggery.
All I'm sayin' is... watch your mouth, Cruise... or it might get DRIED OUT!
[He holds up his middle and ring fingers as he makes this last statement, alluding to the Cottonmouth hold, and flashes the camera a sinister grin. The fans hold up some fingers of their own in return...]
REZIN: And as for THE FIRST?! I'm no DEVIL. I'm too AVANT GUARDE to be something as cliched and overused as Satan. I'm more like Loki... a mere trickster god who destroys not with lightning or divine powers, but simply by sowing the seeds of chaos and turning the whole miserable, predictable world on its head.
You know why you picked a fight with Cameron Cruise of all people? Because you know it's a guaranteed win... and you are SO OBVIOUSLY OBSESSED with making yourself LEGIT. But what's the point, First? You'll NEVER be the icon you want to be. Not while your championship is based on an absolute LIE.
People like you make me what I am... and lead me to do the things that I do. You call yourself the greatest in this federation... but you've never, NEVER beaten me in this ring. It just goes to prove that the World Heavyweight Title is and always has been INFERIOR to the transcendent and infectuous presence of THE ESCAPE ARTIST!!
Crowd: "RE-ZIN-SUCKS!! RE-ZIN-SUCKS!!"
DT: Is this guy going to wrap it up any time soon?!
REZIN: That being said... let's bring out the man who is the TRUE pinnacle of this federation.
[A big smile spreading across his face, he gestures to the entry-way.]
REZIN: And now, I introduce to you... the Empire Pro WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT ANTI-CHAMPION... from mean streets of Hartford... he... is... ANARKY!
[CUEUP: "More Human Than Human" as Anarky comes out without any kind of title whatsoever, pretending to slap hands with the fans, who are totally uninterested. He slides under the bottom rope and grabs the mic.]
ANARKY: Empire Pro... today is the dawn of a new era. An era in which egomanics will no longer roam free, spewing forth the vile bullsh*t which comes from their mouths constantly. No longer will be sit back and listen to the ravings of egocentric princesses and their constant need for validation.
No. Enough is enough.
It begins with Karl Brown and Otaku. Now, we admit... they are hardly the guiltiest transgressors in Empire Pro. Heck, they're almost likable.
But still they reinforce the endless need for validation and perfect. Still... they, too, are guilty. No one can escape, you see.
And yet...
Before even that, we would like to propose a solution. A token of peace, if you will.
The First. Dis. Whatever you want to be called.
You claimed you wanted Empire Pro to have the Champion it deserved. You claimed you wanted a fighting Champion who would take on all comers.
And then you stepped up and showed the whole world... that you are not That Man.
You are a coward and a fraud. So tonight. In front of all of these fans..
... vacate your title. Go ahead. Just give it up.
Don't give it to me. I don't want it. I get to sleep at night just fine without it, thanks.
But you. You are nothing but a disgrace. So step down tonight and this can all end. And we can all go home happy and know that Empire Pro is in the capable hands of Anybody but First.
Or you can keep walking down the road you're walking. It's your choice.
But sooner or later, decisions have consequences. Sooner or later... men like me and Rezin... we get very tired of hearing about what kind of men you think we should be... and seeing what kind of fraud you are. And all the men like you. Like Impulse.
People get what they deserve. And it isn't gold and glitter and fame and fortune.
Don't worry, First. You're going to learn alllllll about it.
But not tonight. Tonight, you fight Cameron Cruise and prove what a big tough guy you are with the fraud title around your waist. Show us what kind of champion you really are.
We're all just dying to know.
[CUE: "Ikari No Jyushin" [the theme from "Jushin Liger"]
TF: "Introducing, at a combined weight of 441 pounds... they are the EPW World Tag Team Champions! The team of Otaku and Karl "The Dragon Brown... ANIMEZING DRAGON!!!"
[As the drone builds, the lights cut out, flickering green and white until the lyrics kick in. Animezing Dragon appear on the stage, saluting the fans before heading quickly to the ring. Brown slides under the bottom rope, Otaku vaulting over, and both choose a middle rope to stand on, saluting the fans some more.]
[Suddenly, Rezin and Anarky ‘pick-a-dragon’ and pull them down to the mat.]
[SFX: Bell rings.]
DT: Rezin and Anarky saw no need to wait, as they begin assaulting Otaku and the "Dragon" with strikes. The Tag Team Champions can only cover up after being caught off guard to start this match."
DM: "This match is beginning how the 8-Man tag team match at last Aggression ended, with no control."
MN: "Control is so boring, Dean. These guys are here to spark all of EPW!"
DT: "If EPW were a Roman Candle, I might agree, Mike. The referee is trying to get Rezin and Anarky separated from Otaku and Brown, but that's like trying to separate two wild dogs from slabs of raw meat."
MN: "They'll be dead meat soon enough!"
DM: "It looks like Pat Jones at least has Rezin in his corner, as Karl retreats to his."
DT: "Anarky, meanwhile, lifts Otaku up to his feet by the throat! Pat Jones turns around and orders him to release the choke, and begins a five count on Anarky, who breaks at four and THROWS Otaku into a neutral corner."
DM: "These two, Anarky and Rezin... is an alliance we never needed to see."
DT: "They surely bring a level of volatility that does not bode well for EPW, if their goals are any indication. Anarky laying into Otaku with knees to the stomach, doubling the high-flier over in the corner. Anarky drops to his knees and lands a thrust to the throat of Otaku, jolting him back up! Another knee to the stomach and Otaku crumples to the mat..."
DM: "Karl Brown is up on the apron, trying to shout some encouragement to his teammate, but Otaku is in a bad way. I don't know if he even hears the "Dragon" right now... Anarky is hearing it from this crowd... and just reveling in it."
MN: "I'm glad you realize it is not out of the question Otaku will leave this match without one or more of his senses!"
DM: "He'd still be ahead of you, Neels. You haven't made sense here since day one."
MN: "More like I'm just too high-minded for you, simpleton! Rezin and Anarky understand me."
DM: "Weren't you criticizing Anarky just a few weeks ago?"
MN: "He's obviously come around and recognized how soft he was. Now he's back to being the Anarky who we all know and love!"
DT: "Not that we didn't know Anarky was capable of this type of chaotic behavior, but I don't know how many in EPW love any of it. Otaku is using the turnbuckle to get to his feet... but Anarky takes the back of his head and smashes it into the middle turnbuckle! Now he's laying knees into the back of Otaku's head, only stopping as Pat Jones reaches nearly five on his count."
DM: "That was four and seven-eighths if you ask me. Who knows if Anarky even cares about winning this match, anymore. He seems most concerned with inflicting as much pain on anyone who is standing in the ring with him."
DT: "Anarky now with rabbit punches to the back of Otaku's head, and Karl Brown has seen enough! He's in and blindsides Anarky with a clothesline, followed by a flurry of strikes!"
MN: "Cheater! Get him out of there, ref!"
DM: "Oh please, Anarky was practically begging for the "Dragon" to get involved. Has he used more moves than the amount of five counts Pat Jones has had to put in? Come on."
DT: "The referee is guiding Karl Brown back to his corner... Anarky jumps Brown and nearly knocks Pat Jones over! He assaults Brown as he was between the ropes, and knocks him out to the floor..."
DM: "The "Dragon" landed hard there."
MN: "That'll teach him to interfere with Anarky's business."
DM: "They're both in the match, Neely, but correcting you is pretty futile at this point."
MN: "Glad you see things my way."
DT: "Banter aside, Anarky is disregarding Pat Jones and coming out to the floor. He's shouting something at Karl Brown as the "Dragon" gets up... Brown turns to receive a kick to the stomach... vicious DDT to the floor! Karl Brown goes face-first!"
DM: "Entirely uncalled for, Karl Brown isn't even the legal man."
MN: "Stop being so stiff, this is all strategy."
DM: "The strategy of what?"
MN: "Well... now Otaku can't tag out."
DT: "Anarky admiring his handiwork, turns and... OTAKU! Flying out of the ring with a Suicide plancha and bowls over Anarky! He just came in like a javelin and sent Anarky into the security wall."
DM: "If he wants to go outside, Otaku can oblige him."
MN: "Get that geek missile back in the ring! He should never have been allowed outside."
DM: "Correcting hypocrisy, futile."
MN: "What?"
DT: "You may want to check your pocket dictionary, Mike. The referee's count is at six as both men are stirring... seven... eight, both men are to their feet... and roll back in at nine. Anarky goes for a boot aimed right at the head of Otaku... but he ducks and shoots off the ropes... and returns with a flying front dropkick to the chest of Anarky! Otaku rolls back to his feet and charges Anarky with a kick of his own... Anarky catches the leg, swings and misses at Otaku... Enziguri by Otaku! Anarky knocked to a knee... Otaku pops back up and lands a flying heads scissors on Anarky, who has been taken out of his game! Otaku with a backflip splash and a cover...
One!
Two!
Anarky kicks out at two!"
DM: "It looks like Otaku weathered the storm and is surging."
DT: "Otaku lifts up Anarky, but no! Eye gouge from Anarky... and he DRILLS Otaku into the mat with a Spinebuster!"
MN: "What was that, Matty?? Hah!"
DT: "Otaku is down, and Anarky is... pounding the mat, laughing?"
DM: "I have no idea, Dave... but Otaku overlooked the pain threshold of Anarky, thinking he had him beat early. That's rarely, if ever, the case with this man."
DT: "Anarky is back to his feet, and grinning like a mad man."
DM: "He may not be far off."
DT: "Karl Brown is back up on the apron, shaking his head after that DDT onto the floor. Anarky could have attempted a pin on Otaku, but instead he unceremoniously drags him to his corner and tags in Rezin."
DM: "Like I said, Dave, I'm not sure it's about winning with these two."
MN: "Did you hear anything they said? Rezin is here to dissect and destroy EPW, piece by piece. And Anarky is a man possessed for violence. Really, it's a match made in Heaven."
DM: "I don't know what backwards Heaven you envision, Neels, but that sound like nothing short of a hellish pairing."
DT: "I'd have to agree, Dean. Rezin is in but Anarky has Otaku trapped in a front waistlock... Rezin to the second rope as Pat Jones counts to three... tilt-a-whirl Backbreaker from Anarky, as Rezin comes down with a Leg drop across the throat! Otaku turned inside out!"
DM: "Ugly."
MN: "No way, that was a thing of beauty!"
DT: "Rezin and Anarky appear to be completely on the same page, as Rezin taunts the crowd, who are trying to fuel Otaku. The World Tag Team Champions have been stalled from the start."
DM: "That does speak volumes. Anarky and Rezin are operating on a very high level."
DT: "Otaku trying to get to his corner as Rezin is distracted... but Rezin catches him with a stiff kick to the back, halting him... and another to the chest that puts Otaku on his back! A cover by Rezin...
One!
Two!
Thr-- NO!
Otaku was JUST near enough to brush the bottom rope with his boot."
DM: "The young fanboy has developed some good ring presence, and certainly is showing some fortitude."
MN: "If you mean guts, Dean, I agree."
DM: "Really, Neels?"
MN: "Sure, pretty soon his guts are going to be all over the ring!"
DM: "Why did I even get my hopes up?"
DT: "No clue, but Rezin looks a little irritated that Otaku survived there. He's looking Pat Jones' way, but the referee is just doing his job."
DM: "Who knows how Rezin interprets anything. If I were Pat Jones, in there with Rezin and Anarky, I think I would be concerned for my own well-being."
MN: "Yeah, if this idiot keeps up the poor officiating, he deserves what he gets!"
DT: "I didn't see a problem. Rezin looks like he's decided against whatever he was intending with Pat Jones, and turns his attention back to Otaku, who is on his knees. Rezin slapping Otaku on the back of the head, completely disrespectful. Rezin with another smack! He points at Karl Brown and... Otaku trips Rezin with a sweep! He's trying to get to his corner... Rezin grabs Otaku by the ankle."
DM: "Otaku needs this tag, Karl Brown has to get in there."
DT: "I think this crowd would agree, as Rezin stands gripping Otaku's legs and angles towards a corner... Stun Gun! No! Otaku manages to brace himself on the second turnbuckle. Rezin stands but Otaku hits a Missile Dropkick!"
DM: "Both men are down!"
MN: "That little pipsqueak can't do this! This isn't some cartoon!"
DT: "Otaku is looking like a courageous combatant here, trying to muster the strength to get the 'Dragon' into this match... Otaku crawling... Anarky coming into the ring now... but Pat Jones stops him and Otaku leaps for the tag!"
[SFX: CROWD EXPLODES!!]
DM: "Anarky shoves Pat Jones away as Karl Brown takes Rezin down with a Spinning Heel kick... Anarky misses wide with a haymaker... Brown with a jumping Wheel kick sends Anarky down to the mat! Rezin back up and receives a Dropkick from Brown. Anarky gets one for good measure! 'The Dragon' on fire as Anarky rises... a kick and Swinging Neckbreaker has Anarky rolling to the outside..."
MN: "Stop this now! No fair!"
DT: "Rezin comes in with a Muay Thai kick... Brown blocks and throws one of his Taekwondo kicks... Rezin evades and connects with one of his own. Brown comes back with a kick to the thigh of Rezin... who strikes back with one of his own! Brown targets the thigh again... Rezin return kicks to the "Dragon's" midsection!"
[SFX: Crowd going back-and-forth with the action.]
DT: "Brown hits a kick to the back of the knee... Rezin's knee buckles! 'The Dragon' goes for a kick to the chest... Rezin drops down and the kick sails over... Rezin back up and attempts a side kick... Brown blocks and grabs Rezin's arm... reels him in... Dragon Suplex with a bridge!
One!
Two!
Rezin kicks out!
Both men face-off again..."
DM: "Anarky from behind with a clubbing blow sends Karl Brown into Rezin... REZIN-RANA! Pat Jones orders Anarky back to his corner but sees the pin attempt..."
ONE!
TWO!
TH-- NO!"
MN: "Why is the ref out of position?! That should have been three!"
DM: "Because Anarky shouldn't have been in the ring to begin with."
MN: "Whatever works."
DM: "No, not 'whatever works.' There are rules for a reason and these two are breaking every one they see fit!"
DT: "Karl Brown kicks out after that cheap shot must have dazed him, then the Rezin-Rana took its toll. Rezin is back up, favoring his thigh slightly, and Karl Brown rising up... Rezin with a slap to the face of the 'Dragon!' Karl Brown looks enraged and unleashes a flurry of fists to Rezin, backing him into a neutral corner."
MN: "Karl Brown said something nasty about Rezin's mama. I think."
DM: "Yeah, that really fits Karl Brown to a tee. What disrespect by Rezin. I have no sympathy for anything he brings upon himself."
DT: "Karl Brown is taking Rezin up to the top turnbuckle, setting him facing the crowd, and hitting a pair of well-placed forearms to the small of Rezin's back. It does seem Rezin and Anarky have thrown Animezing Dragon off any gameplan tonight, with their more-than-questionable methods. I have to think Pat Jones will not hesitate to disqualify Rezin and Anarky if this continues."
DM: "He could have done it three or four times already."
MN: "Someone get the WAAAMbulance for Dean."
DM: "There are rules, Neely!"
MN: "This is America, land of the free! Rules are meant to be broken."
DM: "Those.... are so unrelated. I don't even know."
MN: "Winning!"
DT: "Oh, brother. Karl Brown now ascending the ropes as the crowd is buzzing here... the 'Dragon' looks like he's got Rezin in a rear waistlock..."
DM: "Looks like Karl is going for the kill here..."
MN: "Okay okay, you didn't say anything about Rezin's mama! Don't kill him!"
DT: "TOP ROPE GERMAN SUPLEX ON RE... REZIN LANDS ON HIS FEET! He flipped over but that leg he was favoring buckled as he landed. Rezin cannot follow-up and he looks up to see the 'Dragon' fly off... Cross Body Block fromt the top... connects!
ONE!
TWO!
MN: "Anarky breaks up the pin before three!"
DM: "This is ridiculous!"
DT: "Anarky saves Rezin from losing the match, there, and Pat Jones warns him he had better get back to his corner. Anarky doesn't seem to appreciate the admonishment, but goes to his corner as Karl Brown turns from Anarky and makes a tag to Otaku."
DM: "Karl staying on point, making the tag, getting the fresh man in."
DT: "Otaku in and immediately hooks Rezin as he gets up... Russian Leg Sweep, nicely executed by Otaku. One-half of the World Tag Team Champions comes off the ropes and hits a flying headbutt to the thigh of Rezin, which Karl Brown had weakened with some kicks. Otaku lifts Rezin up again... Rezin with some strikes to the midsection of Otaku, creates some space... Rezin with an irish whip of Otaku... but telegraphs the back body drop and Otaku with a sunset flip!
ONE!
TWO!
Rezin kicks out!
DM: Otaku needs to maintain his pace, now that Animezing Dragon has some momentum."
DT: "Otaku with a Snap Suplex on Rezin... holds on for a second, and connects! Otaku waits for Rezin to get back up, perhaps not a wise move here..."
MN: "Especially once Rezin gets his hands on this fanboy and makes him pay."
DM: "Not looking that way."
DT: "Rezin limping up, and Otaku delivers a Yakuza Kick that hits dead on! EPW's anime aficionado takes Rezin by the legs... it looks like he's going for the Texas Cloverleaf, but Rezin's fighting it...."
MN: "Bah, no way would this Amazing Loser get a submission!"
DM: "That's Animezing Dragon, Neely."
MN: "Sorry, Dean-O, but I don't speak MORON! And anyway, my Asian's a bit rusty."
DM: "You did NOT just.... .... Nah. Too easy."
MN: "What are you babbling about now??"
DT: "Mike, you may just want to let that one go. Rezin is trying to turn towards the ropes, but Otaku turns his own back to the ropes... repositioning... but Anarky with a knee to the small of Otaku's back! Rezin breaks free!"
DM: "The referee had no line of sight to see Anarky deliver the knee."
MN: "The loser forgot what corner he got suckered into!"
DT: "Otaku tries to regroup and grab hold of Rezin, but he takes two boots to the midsection. Otaku, resilient, comes back at Rezin as he is getting up. He lunges and grapples Rezin... no! Rezin uses Otaku's momentum, slips behind him... one-handed Bulldog! Otaku is down, and Rezin tags in Anarky."
DM: "Shades of the former 'Escape Artist,' there. Rezin and Anarky are not a seasoned tag team, and have taken lots of shortcuts to get the edge on the World Tag Team Champions tonight. But these two, Anarky and Rezin, are former Champions, too. They know when to push the envelope. Still cheap shots, though."
MN: "It's called higher-minded tactics, Dean. You wouldn't understand."
DT: "Anarky comes in with stomps to the back of Otaku, sending him crashing to the mat every time he tries to rise up. Anarky backs off now... Otaku getting back to his feet... only to be sent down by a Lariat! Anarky with that grin again, looking down at Otaku, then to Karl Brown, who stares back as Anarky holds Otaku's arm out towards the 'Dragon' in mockery. Anarky yanks Otaku up and lifts him for a Suplex... no, Brainbuster!"
DM: "Anarky is just torturing Otaku in there."
MN: "It's only torture if you think these losers could ever beat Anarky and Rezin! No chance!!"
DT: "Anarky, again foregoing the chance for a pin attempt, slaps Rezin on the arm for the tag."
MN: "That's just how they roll."
DM: "Thanks for clarifying."
MN: "Well someone has to be objective at this booth!"
DT: "Mike, I think you need to consult the dictionary again. Rezin sends Otaku into the corner with an irish whip... Clothesline on Otaku, who sags between the ropes. Rezin kicks him through and Otaku lands on the apron!"
DM: "Otaku really in a bad way here, and the last place he needs to go with a man like Rezin is to the outside..."
DT: "Rezin on the apron and gets Otaku up... Otaku with some elbows to the thigh of Rezin, targeting that limb! But Rezin with a clubbing blow puts an end to that. Now Rezin hooks Otaku's waist... no, he lifts Otaku into a Fireman's Carry!"
DM: "That's insane! He could seriously injure Otaku here, Pat Jones needs to get this back in the ring!"
MN: "Take out the trash, Rezin!"
DT: "Wait! Otaku grabs hold of the top rope as Rezin executes! Rezin goes flying off the apron and hits the floor nearly on his head!"
MN: "Stupid ani-nerd!"
DM: "Rezin looks like he may have slammed his upper back and neck on the outside. He's a fool for even trying to pull that move off to the outside."
DT: "Karl Brown drops down from the apron and grabs Rezin, rolling him back into the ring! He shouts to Otaku, who is crouched down on the ropes... Otaku looks and begins scaling the nearest turnbuckle!"
MN: "You have to be kidding me! Anarky, get in there!"
DM: "Pat Jones has an eye on Anarky, and he will disqualify him."
MN: "Anarky will deck him if he does that."
DT: "Mike, you know EPW takes its rules against attacking officials seriously. This crowd is rooting on for Otaku as he reaches the top rope. Otaku takes a moment to gauge the distance, as Rezin is almost halfway across the ring. Otaku flies off with the Shooting Star Press!!"
MN: "BZZ!"
DT: "Rezin rolled INCHES out of the way as Otaku came down to the mat!"
DM: "That could have ended the match right there for Animezing Dragon."
DT: "Anarky comes around the ring and pulls Karl Brown off the apron... the two begin exchanging blows back-and-forth on the outside!"
MN: "Hey, the referee warned Anarky to keep from entering the ring if he wasn't tagged, that's what he did."
DT: Anarky getting the better of the brawl, and he kicks the 'Dragon' in the VERY lower abdomen... then shoves him back-first into the ringpost!"
DM: "Anarky is thirsty for mayhem, and he just created some more of it."
DT: "Pat Jones is being distracted by Anarky as he whips Karl Brown into the guard rail... reversal by Brown and Anarky goes into the rail! Karl Brown tries to get back on the apron, but Anarky throws him back down to the floor. Rezin using the ropes to get himself upright in the ring. Otaku is getting up. Otaku blocks a closed fist from Rezin, and delivers a strike of his own! Another strike by Otaku... Rezin with a quick knee to the groin of Otaku!"
DM: "Pat Jones is stuck between the ropes, trying to verbally corral Anarky, who just threw Karl Brown into the ring steps. Meanwhile, Pat missed the call in the ring, which should be a disqualification!"
MN: "I guess Otaku didn't see that coming from watching Japanese cartoons!"
DM: "Shut up, Neely."
DT: "Rezin now on his way to a high risk maneuver. He climbs from inside the ring, meaning this could be the Dark Side of the Moonsault...."
DM: "Karl Brown and Anarky are brawling right below Rezin... I hope he isn't..."
DT: "I think Rezin was considering a suicide dive out of the ring, but instead he looks to Otaku... Otaku is up!!"
MN: "Wait, what?! I was watching Anarky getting the upper hand!"
DT: "He catches Rezin on the top rope from behind... the two are struggling on the top rope... Otaku with a shot to the midsection! Rezin with a back elbow! Otaku hits the back... Rezin with a thumb to the eye! He hits another back elbow and Otaku staggers to the mat, standing. Rezin quickly sets on the top and flies off with Dark Side of the Moonsault!!"
"Otaku rolls through for a pin!"
ONE!
TWO!
THREE!!!!
[Bell rings.]
TF: "Your winners of this match.... THE EPW WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS.... OTAKU AND KARL "THE DRAGON" BROWN.... ANIMEZING DRAGON!!!!"
MN: "How the hell did that happen?!?"
DM: "A little good fortune... but such luck is that of Champions."
DT: "Somehow Otaku and Karl Brown have survived this match.... wait a minute... Anarky just heard Tony Fatora and goes after Otaku in the ring! He and Rezin double-up on Otaku and throw him into the corner, striking him down... BUT KARL BROWN ENTERS THE RING! Karl Brown is evening the odds and we have a brawl on our hands!"
DM: "Rezin throws Otaku out of the ring and the 'Dragon' is getting the double team treatment now! Karl tries to fend off both men, striking back... a solid strike sends Rezin momentarily reeling! Anarky nails a haymaker that spins Karl Brown around. Rezin is back..."
DT: "COTTONMOUTH! Rezin has that claw submission locked in and the 'Dragon' is fading...."
MN: "That's right, take the bite out of this Dragon!"
DM: "Look out! Otaku on top!"
DT: "SHOOTING STAR PRESS ONTO BOTH REZIN AND ANARKY!!"
[CROWD SFX: "O-TA-KU!! O-TA-KU!! O-TA-KU!!"]
DT: "Otaku with the high-flying expertise, helping his tag team partner out, as Karl Brown managed to slip away as Otaku leaped off the top. Rezin and Anarky retreat from the ring after being planted into the mat by the Shooting Star Press."
[Rezin and Anarky are holding the guard rail, near the entrance ramp. Animezing Dragon regroups in the ring, as Otaku and Karl Brown support one another, leaning on the ropes. All the while, both teams are locked in a stare down.]
DM: "There is some serious unfinished business between these two teams."
MN: "Yeah, what a cheap shot on Rezin and Anarky by the supposed goodie-goodie!"
DM: "You think Animezing Dragon were taking cheap shots?"
MN: "What do you call it?"
DT: "While Neely checks his prescription, we're going to take a quick break. When we return, more EPW action is headed your way! Stay tuned."
