[EPW banner in the background.]
[Music.]
http://youtu.be/klVe7_2UEQ8
[The unmistakable visage of the rainbow fish himself, Fishman Deluxe hops from stage left.]
Fishman Deluxe:
WHAT’S UP JOO’ ASSHOLE! De’ beech is back, ho’kay.
[Fishman Deluxe is in rare form, purple and green sequins for miles on his trademark mask and the most elaborate Flair-esk ring jacket of all time. Who’s this Flair fellow you may ask? Ask your thunder buddy because this ‘aint your daddy’s wrestling promo.]
Fishman Deluxe:
Baby, dis’ is jus’ gettin’ started, ho’kay? I’m goin’ to get all lubed up and we’re goin’ to go CRAZY, ho’kay! Wrestling, sweet children!
[Things are about to get weird as hell.]
Voice: [from off camera]
NO! NO! No... stop, God dude. Just stop for a second. Jesus.
[From off camera walks the current day incarnation of the Mexican lucha legend Máscara De Muerte. Máscara De Muerte IV to be exact. The young man is sporting his classic black leather jacket over his macabre ring gear.]
MDM4:
Hector, dude. [aside] Man we talked about this. Keep things semi-normal remember?
[Fishman grins from behind his half face mask.]
Fishman Deluxe:
Man dis’ is [bleep] normal joo’ leetle beee... okay, okay. [laughter]
[Fishman grins and pats his compatriot on the shoulder.]
Fishman Deluxe:
Okay bro. This is your show kiddo, you do your thing. You tell these fine folks just why you and me? We’re winnin’ this tournament.
[Muerte’s face is completely hidden but we get the distinct feeling he’s smiling back and his tag team partner. The young luchador takes a few beats to compose himself before giving the camera a fine view of the legendary deaths head.]
MDM4:
Standing before you is the Máscara De Muerte. Deaths Head. One of the oldest and most respected legacies in all of lucha libre. And this man? You laugh. But within the hallowed walls of Guerreros que Luchan la Gimnasia, The Warriors Gym in Mexico City this man has trained a whole generation of young talent. He’s forgotten more about this sport than most learn in a lifetime.
[A strangely confident Fishman Deluxe stands a little taller behind Muerte.]
MDM4:
This tag team tournament offers something for each of us. For me? To make an impact of the EPW fans. Fans I plan on spending a great deal of my time in front of as a permanent member of the Empire Pro roster!
[Muerte looks back towards Fishman.]
Fishman Deluxe:
For me? For me it’s a chance to prove myself. I regret NOTHING I’ve done over the years. I’ve lived my life open and honest and have survived off the cheers and laughter of my fans. I know my career as a pro wrestler is coming to an end, folks. I can feel it in my bones. But if I’m goin’ out? I’m goin’ out like a true luchador!
[Fish calps Muerte on the back with a smile.]
Fishman Deluxe:
That’s but to say I won’t be stickin’ my hand some the pants of those Stone and Steel boys if I get the chance little brother. [wink]
[Muerte just shakes his head.]
Fishman Deluxe:
Now hit my music joo’ beech!
http://youtu.be/klVe7_2UEQ8
[Fade.]