Okay, here we go... bit by bit. Trying to be less nitpicky about personal styles. Consider my criticisms to be observations.
The Opening
...okay, so actually, there IS no opening. No highlight reel? No crappy White Stripes song? A minor gripe, I suppose, but having that show intro often gives me feeling that I’m reading a TV show transcript. Seemed like a simple copy and paste from a previous show would have been all that was needed... but whatever, you all pretty much know me by now as the nefarious Strawsma, He who Passive-Aggressively Bitches Too Much About the Contributions of Others in His Show Reviews. Anyway, decent show run-down by the commentary. Really liked Neely questioning the definition of a Wolf of the Sea and likening it to tunafish.
The First Intro Segment
I always dig a World Champion that comes out and addresses his fans at the start of a show. Always dig when he just comes out and throws a title shot to the presumed next contender. But anyway, it seemed like a good build to what I presume is the next title program. Only thing I didn’t really grab into was the vague mention of Rosie getting her skull broken. Did this happen on an earlier show, and I just glossed over it? Is this something only cool kids that aren’t me would know about? I even did a quick search on FWC and couldn’t find any reference of this taking place. It felt like a missing gap leading up to the blood money bit, and I just wasn’t catching it, sorry.
Team VIAGRA vs. Los Luchas Frescas
Good to see comedy matches haven’t gone to the wayside. That’s the first time I’ve seen (err, read) a flying salad tosser in a match since I wrote JA vs. Beau Michaels. I’ll give you a nickel if any of you can remember either of them. Anyway, a good, quick match that I enjoyed reading, with Neely’s commentary being gold. I definitely liked the cage match mechanics that were used, with one guy leaving and the other being left to fend for himself. Happy to see Flyer/Harmen and Davis advance, but I also felt that Los Luchas Frescas made a pretty strong and memorable showing.
“Triple X” Sean Stevens DVD Spot
To be honest, I was originally planning on throwing a Rocko Daymon segment onto this show recapping his EPW career... something to address what Colin mentioned on the last show, giving the character a bit of background for people who weren’t around in his prime. Kinda glad I didn’t get around to doing that, though, because it would have fallen short to this segment. By the same token, I still feel entirely in the dark to much of Trip’s legacy. Like, ALL of it. Stevens himself pretty much summed up my feelings in one line -- “If you haven’t competed in Greensboro, for that particular promotion, you really miss out on seeing if you really do have what it takes to be somebody in this industry.” Yeah, no shit... eight years in EPW, and I still feel like an inconsequential outsider in this community because I wasn’t in CSWA. This is coming from the guy who wrote Mark Windham vs. Dan Ryan II. Who the fuck is this Hornet guy, anyway? That is a serious question. Back on topic... really thought this was a unique bit, and I liked the inclusion of people from Stevens’ past giving commentary. Having a legendary character shilling a DVD gives a bit of depth to the inner FW Universe that really isn’t tapped as often as it could be. Somebody really should dig up all of Stevens’ past matches and make a compilation.
Dirk Dickwood Presents vs. The Dreamstealers
Wow... it actually feels like it’s been a long time since I’ve seen a beatdown occur during an entrance. Another decent, quick read with some comedic value... although it seemed to go by too fast. I felt that there was a lot of untapped potential here, especially with schemers like Dickwood and Mylde involved. Anyway, I guess you do what you gotta do in a no-show squash sort of situation. Disappointed to see the Dreamstealers ousted, but at the same time, happy to see DDP making the best of their second chance in this tournament.
Audition Commercial
I was expecting a Japanse girl cutting off some guy’s feet, but... this was a lot more hilarious than that.
Boogie Smallz vs. Christian Light
Boogie’s a fuckin’ beast... plain and simple. Loved the opening trash talk monologue on the part of Smallz, and equally loved the interruption by Light. The match itself was a good and competitive battle between powerhouses, and it felt like an appropriate length. Neely’s commentary really sold it for me. I’m glad Light hung in there and made a pretty good offensive showing -- I actually dig the character. EPW needs more face powerhouses, like Adrian Willard (speaking of... what happened to him?). It was disappointing seeing him get completely ravaged after the match, although I guess that’s an indication of my emotional attachment to the character. It did well to put over Boogie’s extreme habits and brutal determination. The post-match confrontation between Smallz and Ryan was also done really well. Despite the circumstances, I don’t think this is the last we’ll see of Boogie... and I sincerely hope this isn’t the last we see of Light.
Tarako Commercial
Umm... so this noodle food has an army of dicks for a mascot?
Rich Mahogany vs. Paladin
Another quick and easy match, befitting an RP squash. Highlight was Matthews suggesting that Paladin respec to Retribution -- something only us World of Warcraft players would catch onto. Mike’s reaction was appropriate. I actually don’t mind Mahogany as a face now, although I feel he’d be one of the few faces a guy like Neely would probably root for, as is the case with Stevens. The dichotomy between the smart-mouthed sex-machine that I’m used to and the emergence of a determined kind of wrath is a really interesting development for the character. Happier than ever to have Rich back in the Empire. Hopefully, this isn’t the last we see of the Codine Jr. character, as I felt it had a lot of potential.
“Triple X” Sean Stevens DVD Spot Part 2
My gut reaction is to say this is redundant... but then, kinda like WWE does with it’s DVDs, it almost makes sense that the company would be shoving this down the viewers’ throats. Lindsay’s annual on-camera appearance was a good mark-out moment. What does she do these days for money, anyway?
Teddy Alexander & Sam Turner, Jr. vs. Larry Tact & Steven Shane
Good match... though it probably could have gone on longer, or done a bit more to put over Alexander as a neck crushing beast, but it’s not a big deal... especially given the length of this card, and given there were something like twenty matches to write for this entire thing to come together. Shane comes out of this one with the real rub, being the uncooperative partner playing up his injuries and costing his partner the match. So far, every cage match has done a good job of not overusing the same antics... which is surprising, given the abundance of teams with partners that don’t get along. I was hoping to see the EPW veterans in Tact and Shane advance, but hopefully this elimination paves the way to a rivalry, possibly one that could carry over into the IC Title division. Good to see that Alexander and Turner, Jr. found partners they can rely upon.
Doing Business Commercial
These two look like Kenny Lombardo and Lesbian Siegel... only, you know, Japanese. Since it wasn’t really specified what they were selling, or if this was even a commercial at all, I’ll just assume it was Kenny passing a not letting that lesbo ho know that he’s still the top reporter in the company.
Teddy Alexander Segment
Whoever wrote the title to this segment deserves a medal... delivered in person by Tom Waits. Anyway, Alexander’s crush on the intern Matilda is a really interesting dimension to the character. It’s one thing to have super killface guy out in the ring all the time, but when you introduce the aspect of romance in his behind-the-scenes persona. I can dig it. I just hope he doesn’t end up crippling the poor girl while necking with her...
Rezin & Anarky © vs. MJ2 & Aaron Jones
HOLY SHIT... I have to give a huge sludge-filled salute to Brusch and Garth for putting out some tough ass promos during the RP week. A belated salute to Mad Dog from the last card, for that matter. All of you guys serious kicked my ass. As for the match, it was a pretty satisfying read. Seemed strange to have Anarky pretty much leave the competition halfway through the battle, but it really says something about the character’s endurance to come back from a sickening spot like that and make the killing the strike when the time was needed. Jones seemed to come across as being more competent on his own... signs that he’s beginning to come into his own. Maybe some of Joseph-Jones is rubbing off on him. I think Malcolm could have used a bit more of a rub, like maybe nailing a finisher right before Anarky made the return and the save. He DID chuck Anarky over the cage wall though... and that’s pretty badass. Really interested to see where these characters will go beyond the tournament -- I’d have a mind to think the TV Anti-Champion would have a big target on his back once he got back to defending his stake.
Dawn Commercial
Yes... AFTER you use this Dawn to do the fucking dishes, bitch!
Animezing Dragons © vs. Wolves of the Sea
Forget the Straw epic... not enough people are aware of the awesomeness that is the Brown epic. Look up Karl Brown vs. Foxx from years back. Sometimes the style of writing makes the action hard to follow, but remembering Karl’s voice acting background, when you put into your minds this dialogue being spoken through the imaginary voices of the commentators, it actually makes things fast-paced, dramatic, and a bit more compelling. It’s like what real televised commentary would be transcribed too. This match was long and epic... as it well should have been, with the Tag Team Titles on the line. The interruption of a commercial break only helped to hammer that point. Both teams showed off some really dynamic maneuvers, and the storytelling was present. The spot of a person falling through the announce table was unfortunately repeated... though I suppose nobody can fault two writers independently coming up with the same idea for their matches. The finish was the most interesting bit for me. Brown using a fireball seemed like a borderline heel move. I almost wonder if this is a sign of how desperation the Dragon is to keep his Tag Team legacy going.
“Triple X” Sean Stevens Segment
Quick and powerful. Fuckin’ loved it. Seemed to cap off the two earlier DVD spots where he was getting heaps of praise, and strangely, the simplicity of the delivery is a great contrast to the First’s opening segment. Unlike Stevens, who just wants to get to action, the First seemed eager to speak his mind and send his message, to the point where it almost came off as a maniacal rant with some symbolism thrown into it.
“Triple X” Sean Stevens & Impulse vs. The First © & Cameron Cruise
So, this was my match... and looking back, I’d say probably not one of my best. I seriously underestimated how difficult it is to write ongoing action between two sets of two. Been a while since I tackled the frontier of cage clusterfuckery. Making the matter even more difficult was trying to put everybody over in a decent way. I still feel like I didn’t do enough to give the Champ a rub, especially considering Cruise’s performance. I hope nobody minds the artistic liberties I took in tagging Cam with the title Mr. Grand Slam, and the mash-up name-job of X-Impact for the stereo superkick tandem finisher. Sudden Factor didn’t quite have the same pep. I also realized I didn’t really have much top-of-the-cage action... which probably isn’t so bad, given the two broken announcer tables from earlier in the night. I think I originally planned to have the First at the top of the cage, ready to finish off either of his opponents with a Cut the Threat from fifteen feet up... only to have Cam ruin his moment once again by peeling the guy off the mat and trying to finish things with a Reality Check. This would be the straw to break the camel’s back, sending the First down the cage in disgust as whomever blocks the Check and turns the tables on the now abandoned Cam. By that point, though, I was pretty much rushing through everything out of anxiety that I was holding up the card.
Now for the award ceremony...
Match of the Night: Animezing Dragons vs. Wolves of the Sea
Karl put it all out there for us. Funny thing is, with all the teams and storylines involved thus far in the King of the Cage tournament, the Tag Team Champions have quietly flown under the radar. I think this match should serve as a reminder that Brown and Otaku are the guys to look out for.
Face of the Night: Christian Light
Yeah, that's right... this guy basically came back from a disappointing debut for a chance to redeem himself in another man's ego-maniacal challenge to the entire world. Of everybody who could have come out and challenged Boogie, Light was the guy to do it. He fought clean up until the end, and had a tragic finish at the hands of a twisted madman. I seriously want to see Light vs. Smallz II at Unleashed in an old-school extreme rules match, with Light keeping it clean and sticking to his guns in spite of Smallz having the extra advantage. I would have given the Animezing Dragons this consideration had it not been for Brown going for a fireball and Otaku going for an escape at the end of their match.
Heel of the Night: Steven Shane
For pulling a total Alceo Dentari on his tag partner, Larry Tact, and letting him get double teamed into a pulp until he was ultimately finished off. The First feeding Cruise to the wolves is one thing... but it only came at the culmination of Cruise constantly trying to steal his thunder. Shane just plain threw Tact under the bus, when all Tact wanted to do was go into the cage and win the match as best he could.
Moment of the Night: Dan Ryan telling Boogie Smallz to get the fuck out of his ring
The animosity between these men is really reaching its boiling point. Dan Ryan, besides being the Humility Bombing Buster of Egos that we all know and love (and fear), is also really unique as a fed owner. A physically imposing boss who doesn't put up with any shit... for me, personally, it makes for a great personality for my own character to interact with. Then you put a guy like that face to face with Smallz, who is practically his doppleganger. This Insubordinate Talent Vs. Boss angle has me hooked.
Open Ended Comments:
I think Stanton said something on EFG a while back after Aggression 69 hit, along the lines of the team tournament detracting from the advancement of singles storylines. Hopefully now with more people out of the tournament, we can see more of that happening. The World Title picture has a few paths it could go into at this point, and with the champ out of the tournament, he's free to go wherever he chooses. I'm glad there's been an update on what's happening with the IC Title, and hopefully the guys announced in participating in that match will get around to building toward that monster match. Six teams left in the King of the Cage tournament... and it's up to those of us remaining in it to keep the momentum escalating, reminding everybody that this is THE event going on in the FW community right now. Good card, everybody. Keep up the good work.
