Aggression 71: Atlanta, Georgia - 1/10/13

[DBrunkGXW]

[FADEIN: Dan Ryan’s office, Ryan sits behind a desk looking at papers as The First walks into the office. First is in his ring gear with the EPW World Title over his shoulder.]

FIRST: So what kind of an operation you running around here Ryan? You got me fighting the ref’s kid tonight, and on top of that we got a pay-per-view coming up real soon and I don’t even have an opponent for it.

RYAN: I wasn’t aware I worked for you or needed your approval for anything. Also I fail to recall you asking for any opponents, so when you don’t give me names, I make matches for you, and even if you DO give me a name I still can choose to ignore that and give you any opponent I please also.

FIRST: Yeah, you’re the man in charge, we all know that, but seriously this is the Empire and our Pay-Per-Views are what matter in this business and I need a match…So who you got lined up for me? Impulse? Stevens? Is Rocko Daymon’s big return to get crushed challenging me for my title? You going to try to drag Lindsay back here for another failed nostalgia run?

RYAN: You’ll know who your opponent is when I’m good and ready to tell you who it is. As for who I’m thinking of…I got a list of people that I’m more than happy to see get a crack at that belt, some you named, some you didn’t…Now you go out there and try not to get embarrassed by Aaron Jones and leave me and the adults to handle the running of this company.

[First glares at Ryan, who stands up from behind the desk and stares down at First. First looks at him for a beat and then steps out of the office. Ryan continues with his gaze fixed upon the door as he sits back down.]

 

[DBrunkGXW]

Intro

[MUSIC UP: “Sixteen Saltines” by Jack White.]

[CUTTO: Impulse standing with the Aggression graphic rolling behind him.]

[CUTTO: Stalker covered in darkness his face seen by a small ray of light.]

[CUTTO: The Animezing Dragons walking towards the ring.]

[CUTTO: Eddie Burns throwing fire at the camera.]

[CUTTO: Kendall Codine walking to the ring.]

[CUTTO: Rezin smiling with a maniacal gleam in his eyes. ]

[CUTTO: Aaron Jones staring at the camera.]

[CUTTO: Jared Wells and Cameron Cruise looking down at the camera.]

[CUTTO: A graphic showing an old style map with the words “The Empire” across a giant swath of land.]

[CUTTO: Steven Shane flashing a big grin.]

[CUTTO: Muse smiling cheerfully.]

[CUTTO: Anarky glaring at the camera.]

[CUTTO: Lesbian Siegel and Caitlyn Daymon talking.]

[CUTTO: Larry Tact standing on the second rope, arms raised.]

[CUTTO: Point of View filming the camera as the camera films them.]

[CUTTO: “Triple X” Sean Stevens standing in the entrance.]

[CUTTO: Dis unmasking as The First.]

[CUTTO: The map, this time a tracking line heads towards a dot marked San Diego, California, when the line hits the dot, AGGRESSION 71, with KING OF THE CAGE: TAG TEAM EDITION 2012 bursts onto the screen in red letters.]

 

[DBrunkGXW]

Adrian Willard vs. Rich Mahogany

[The camera pans the crowd as the music plays, finally settling on Dave Thomas, Dean Matthews and Mike Neely at ringside.]

DT: Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Aggression 71!! We are in the semi-finals of the King of the Cage: Tag Team Edition, and tonight, we find out which three teams will face off in the finals next week for the right to main event Unleashed.

DM: That's right, and on top of that, one of our three tournament matches tonight is for the World Tag Team Championship.

MN: I'm pulling for Teddy.

DM: Why?

MN: Why not?

DM: This is about the Teddy Ruxpin again, isn't it?

MN: SHE JUST SOLD HIM!! A BOY GOES AWAY TO COLLEGE AND HE DOESN'T EXPECT HIS MOTHER TO SELL HIS THINGS AS SOON AS HE WALKS OUT THE DOOR?

DT: Well, ladies and gentlemen, while Neely tries to get over his childhood trauma, let's go up to the ring for our first match....


TF: The following contest is set for one fall! Introducing first…

(((CUE UP: “Overlord” by Black Label Society. The start of the song pulses through the arena as the lights switch from white and blue with each pulse. A light flash of white phosphoresce at the entrance, this happens for about thirty eight seconds. Then as the beat hits Adrian enters the ringside area, both his arms out as he raises them slowly and looks up at the ceiling then slam his foot and throws his arm violently, light pop of pyrotechnics at the ramp.

The crowd boos loudly as Adrian walks down the ramp slowly checking his gear. Adrian now stands in front of the ring grabbing the bottom rope and climbing up the side he then enters the ring. He climbs the turnbuckle, small taunting to some fans as he gets off of it.)))

TF: Weighing 285 pounds! He comes to us from Chicago, Illinois… “THE PROPHECY”… ADRIAN…WILLARD!!

DT: Willard looking to make waves and build some serious momentum going into that HUGE Intercontinental Title match at Unleashed! And what a match that’s going to be! Larry Tact, Teddy Alexander, and the man who beat Willard for the TV title, Rich Mahogany!

MN: I’m more interested in tonight! Rich Mahogany DESTROYED Paladin last time out!

DM: Mahogany was impressive against Paladin but Willard’s a different sort altogether. Both are former TV champs, both looking for momentum in Empire Pro, both with an eye on the Intercontinental Championship.

DT: That title’s built so many stars, there have been some legendary matches for that very title, anyone would want to be the champion.

MN: And it pays well.

(((CUE UP: “Love Man” by Otis Redding. The crowd cheer as Mahogany makes his way from behind the curtain, catching him a little off guard. He keeps his focus on the ring where Adrian Willard is stalking the ring. When Mahogany makes it to the apron he slides under the bottom rope, keeping his piercing eyes on his opponent – which is useful as Willard charges him and launches a stomp towards his back, which Mahogany avoids, springing to his feet and immediately trading rights with The Prophecy)))

DT: These men had a huge war of words, it’s no surprise they’re going at it hell for leather!

DM: Neither giving an inch, hard right hands.

DT: The referee trying to step between them, Mahogany forcing Willard back to the corner! Irish whip across to the far side, Mahogany quickly in with a boot to the midsection and again with right hands, hard to the jaw.

MN: Great equalizer there! Thumb to the eye by Willard.

DT: Mahogany stumbling back, the ref has words with Willard. The Prophecy takes Mahogany down with a big spine buster off the Irish whip, straight into a cover but Mahogany with the kickout.

DM: It works to wear an opponent out, not so sure Adrian thought he’d get the fall so easily.

DT: Kicks to the ribs with Rich on the canvas. Willard picks Mahogany off the mat, hooks the head – Mahogany not letting him deliver that suplex! Rich with rights to the midsection, forearm uppercut, Irish whip – BACK body drop!

DM: What a hard landing! Willard holding his back.

DT: Mahogany off the ropes, bulldog!

DM: Back and forth here in the early going.

DT: Mahogany bringing Willard to his feet, forearm to the temple, and another one.

DM: Grabs Mahogany throwing Willard into the corner, boot to the midsection, and again.

DT: Goes for the Irish whip, Willard reverses, Mahogany puts on the brakes, turns around and ducks the clothesline. Snapping left to the jaw, runs the ropes – BIG powerslam by Willard! Did you see the bounce on that one?!

MN: And Willard gets a one from the cover.

DT: Willard has an amazing wrestling background at the amateur level and that power – he’s a force!

DM: But he’s struggling to keep Mahogany down in the early going, neither man seems able to keep an advantage. Willard has Rich up, throws him to the outside.

DT: Follows him, the ref having words again. Boot to the side of the face by Willard, has Mahogany up, whip into the barricade!

MN: Firing right hands off, four, five, scoops him up

DT: But Mahogany slips off the shoulder! I think Willard was going to go for a running powerslam on the outside, try and end it early, but Mahogany dropped behind and as Willard turned there was Rich with a stomp to the foot and a big forearm uppercut!

DM: Ah, the stomp. Very effective.

DT: Willard trying to shake it off but Mahogany with a back rake! The ref ordering them back into the ring, Mahogany drives Willard’s head off the apron and rolls him in.

DM: Rich follows him back inside, headlock take down.

MN: NO!

DT: What?

MN: No boring moves! Only good ones!

DT: Mahogany slowing the pace a little, cranking on the neck of the big man.

DM: But Willard was too close to the ropes.

DT: Both men getting back to their feet. Mahogany the quicker but Willard ducks behind – BIG German suplex!!

DM:ONE!

TWO!

Kickout by Mahogany, there was a lot of impact from the former NCAA champion!

DT: That might be the move that sets this match up for him. Picks Mahogany up and slams him back down.

DM: Knees to the ribs by the ropes, Willard not letting up, drives a knee across the throat. Sometimes all it takes is one moment, one move, and don’t forget the raw power he has.

MN: But don’t count Mahogany out! The man’s a former TV champion!

DT: He’s quickly learning this isn’t a fight against Paladin, it’s going to be a long one if he wants to come back into it. Willard being backed away by the referee, Rich back to his feet, Willard comes in again THUMB TO THE EYE!

DM: Desperation or good planning?

DT: Either or, Willard stumbling as Mahogany gloats a little, the fans liked that one for some reason! Boot to the midsection, Rich off the ropes and into the swinging neck breaker! Willard tries to get to his feet but a knee lift has him down

ONE!


TWO!!


Kickout by Willard! This is going to be a back and forth match, no doubt!

DM: Mahogany grabbing Willard by the hair, drags him to the corner, snapmare, but to the ropes – elbow to the top of the head!! Quite an innovative move there.

DT: Into the cover again, Willard with the foot on the ropes forces the break, Mahogany backing up, measuring Willard – HEY!!

DM: BOOGIE SMALLZ!

DT: Boogie Smallz just appeared from the crowd and NAILED Mahogany from behind with a chair!

DM: The ref’s ringing the bell, Boogie dropping the chair next to Mahogany, Willard’s back to his feet, elbow from Boogie!

DT: What’s he doing here?!

DM: Has Willard – heart punch!!

MN: By the look of it, anything he wants.

DT: Boogie with the chair, drives it into the back of Willard’s neck! Drops it again, measuring Mahogany now – boot to the midsection, headscissors – FACE THA MUSIC!!

DM: The crowd are really letting him have it, he just ruined what was building into a great match!

DT: I don’t think Boogie cares! He’s got Willard up again – POWER BONG!!

DM: And finally security coming out!

MN: You’d think they’d be stationed, I don’t know, closer?

DT: I’m getting word that the referee’s given this as a no-contest because of Boogie Smallz’s interference… folks… what does this mean? Will we get to see Mahogany and Willard go at it again? We're gonna take a quick break and we'll be right back.

 

[DBrunkGXW]

Go shopping

 

[DBrunkGXW]

Malcolm Doesn't Wanna Stay in the Middle

[In the locker room backstage before MALCOLM JOSEPH-JONES makes his singles debut. He is in his ring gear - electric purple tudo trunks with white trim, black kneepads, and black-framed athletic goggles that look just so stylish with his shaggy black hair and Van Dyke. His absurd muscles glisten under the electric lighting. He laces his boots as he turns to the lone camera.]

MJ2: "It’s real funny to me, you know. This whole 'Bracket of Death' thing. Everyone’s been focusing on Impulse, Stevens, Rezin and Anarky…and then after that, they’re rounding it out with First and Cameron Motherfuckin Cruise. Sayin it’s some sort of Big 6. Forgetting all about ME, all because my partner was Slim Jimmerson.

That ain’t right.

I bet y’all think it’s cute, too. It’s another big black dude who’s pissed off and got an ego, feelin like he’s entitled and shit, and THAT’S why no one gives a damn about me. Well GUESS WHAT, DUMMIES? Having an ego is a GOOD thing. It’s what makes an average man good, a good man great-" [Malcolm grins and winks] "-and me the best goddamn thing that’s happened to EPW in a loooong time.

Cameron Cruise got himself a little pedestal over here. Way up top, and he can look down on the world from this ivory perch. Because he’s so great, right? So talented?

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again - the legacy of Cameron Cruise is that he shits the bed when it matters most.

I’m not just going to break you, Cameron. I’m not just going to beat you in the middle of that ring. I’m coming here to TAKE.

YOUR.

SPOT."

[Malcolm stands, towering over the cameraman, light behind his head darkening his facial features even further than they naturally are.]

MJ2: "And there ain’t nothin your sorry ass can do about it."

[Cut to black.]

 

[DBrunkGXW]

Malcolm Joseph-Jones v. Cameron Cruise

DT: This next match has a lot of people talking. On one side you have the Grand Slam championship winner in the form of Cameron Cruise.

MN: Whoa…whoa…whoa…stop the clock! This is what I just don’t get. Why in the world would Cruise want to advertise this given the circumstances in which it occurred? I mean, true enough…he did win the World title, but he had to have the shortest title reign in the history of the sport.

DM: Bottom line is, he is a former World champion and was the first man to capture all of the gold in Empire Pro…

MN: But it was for like 3 minutes! I would be ashamed. Embarrassed even. I couldn’t go around making these claims without righting the wrong that was done to me.

DT: Well, that brings us to his opponent in this match, Malcolm Joseph-Jones. MJ2 has turned a lot of heads with his work ethic and athleticism in recent months. He is claiming that an asterisk should be by the title of Grand Slam that Cruise is waving on his banner.

MN: Absolutely! There was a time I rooted for Cruise and cheered him on, but after his World title reign debacle at Black Dawn...well…let’s just say my opinion has changed. Truthfully, my opinion probably changed before that, but I digress. I hope MJ2 wipes the mat with him.

DM: Regardless of your personal feelings, Cameron Cruise has done a lot in this industry and I am sure that it is only a matter of time before he reclaims what is rightfully his, the EPW Championship of the World.

DT: After a rough outing in the King of the Cage Bracket of Death, he is looking to get back on track. I spoke with him before the show and he wants to use this match with Malcolm Joseph-Jones as a statement to the world…and put the entire Empire Pro roster on notice.

MN: But before he does that, he has to get past the roadblock known as MJ2…and I’m sorry fellas, but I just don’t see it happening. Malcolm Joseph-Jones is the future of Empire Pro and Cameron Cruise is yesterday’s garbage!

DT: Let’s take it up to Tony Fatora for the ring introductions!

[SFX: Ding, ding, ding.]

[“Best of the Best” by KU pumps through the speakers throughout the arena. MJ2 steps onto the stage and walks down the ramp towards the ring.]

MN: I love this song…it’s my jam. Who is that…Kid and Play? I loved those House Party movies. OH SNAP! What about the Fay Boys? Remember them? I played the soundtrack to the movie Disorderlies all the time back in the day. Remember that old guy in a wheelchair that was in that movie? He was in the blockbuster Trading Places too, one of the Duke Brothers. Those were the times. [Neely attempts to beat box.] HUH! HUH! UHHUH!

DT: Save it for the match. It’s not polite to interrupt Tony Fatora.

TF: Coming to the ring from Jackson, Mississippi, standing 6’6” and weighing in at 269 pounds. This is M…J…2! MAALLLCOLM….JOOOOOSEPH…..JJJJJOOOONNNNEESSSSSS!!!

DM: Joseph-Jones appears to be very focused on this match tonight.

["Killing in the Name Of" by Rage Against The Machine blasts through the public announce system. Cameron Cruise steps onto the stage and walks down the ramps.]

TF: And his opponent! Hailing from Jacksonville, North Carolina. He stands 6’4” and weighs in at 267 pounds. CAMMMMERONNNN….CRRRRRUUUUUUIISSSSSE!!!

DT: Cruise is locking eyes with Malcolm Joseph-Jones. These two had an extremely heated exchange of words leading into this match. I get the impression that these two may not care for one another.

MN: Give it a rest, Thomas. This is EPW…no one likes anyone here! I don’t like you, you don’t like me…and that goes for the roster as well. Unless you are the love fest in the King of the Cage, Impulse and Sean Stevens. [Makes gagging noise.] As much as I like Stevens, that Impulse kid is taking away his edge.

DM: Fatora steps out of the ring and the referee is signaling for the bell to start this match.

[SFX: Ding, ding, ding.]

DT: We are underway! Cruise and Joseph-Jones are circling each other…and a collar-elbow tie-up by these two. Cruise is trying to get some leverage, but its not working. MJ2 has him backed up into the corner. The referee wants him to break the hold…and MJ2 obliges…but wait!

DM: Hard right hand by MJ2 and he connects with Cruise’s jaw upon breaking the hold! Ouch!

DT: Cruise is trying to shake it off, but Malcolm wastes no time and goes delivers a couple of knees to the midsection. He fires Cruise into the ropes…Joseph-Jones connects with a back-elbow that sends Cruise to the mat!

MN: Talk about a reality check…damn. Take a look in the mirror after that!

DM: MJ2 lifts Cruise to his feet and is hoisting him up…ATOMIC BOMB! Cruise is wobbling…Joseph-Jones follows it up with a running forearm. Cameron hits the canvas and rolls out of the ring to take a breather.

DT: But MJ2 isn’t letting up…he steps out onto the ring apron and measures Cruise up…DOUBLE AXEHANDLE!

DM: He tosses Cameron Cruise back into the ring and slides in under the bottom rope. Cruise can’t catch a break.

MN: No…but he can catch a beat down! MJ2 ain’t here to play…he’s here to win…by any means necessary!

DT: Did you just throw up a fist, like a Black Panther?

MN: I’m down for the cause, playa! The white man has been oppressing us…it’s time we rise up. Down with The Man! Let me put it this way, I’d rather be on MJ2’s side than against him! Plus with my extensive collection of Hip-Hop classics on cassette tape and my boom-box, he would welcome me to the fold. I just need to buy a ton of D size batteries. Do they even make those anymore? My ghetto blaster needs about ten of them. How else can I play my tapes?

DT: Enough of your trip down memory lane…we have a match to call! While you were rambling on, MJ2 has been pounding away on Cruise. Malcolm now sets him up for a GUTWRENCH SUPLEX!

DM: NO! Cruise somehow reverses it and hits Joseph-Jones with a gutwrench suplex of his own! That came out of nowhere and knocked the breath out of MJ2!

DT: Cruise is now using this opportunity to take a breather and compose himself. He’s up to a knee and MJ2 is slowly trying to get up as well.

DM: Cruise is to his feet first…he leaps towards MJ2 and delivers a BULLDOG! The momentum appears to be swinging Cruise’s way and he is not dillydallying around.

MN: Dilly-who? Where’d you come up with that one, Dean? Did you volunteer at a retirement home for Christmas, sonny? Did grandpa treat you to a Werther’s Original butterscotch candy?

DT: Cameron lifts MJ2 to his feet, whips him into the ropes, and drills him with a dropkick! Cruise now ascending to the top rope as MJ2 gets to his feet. Cruise soars off with a high-cross body onto MJ2…he hooks the leg!


ONE!


TWO!


NO!


DM: MJ2 kicks out! He was certainly taken by surprise with that maneuver.

DT: Cruise now lifting Malcolm to his feet. SNAP SUPLEX! Joseph-Jones rolls to the outside of the ring to take a break. Cameron has been firing on all cylinders as of late and Joseph-Jones needs to come up with something to swing the momentum back his way.

DM: Cruise is jawing with MJ2…trying to coax him back into the ring and the referee is starting to apply the ten count. Cruise breaks up the count. Joseph-Jones now getting into it with a fan at ringside and has his back to Cruise

DT: MJ2 turns around towards the ring. Cruise hits the ropes…PLANCHA! Cruise gets up and is adrenalized by his daredevil move and this crowd is loving it!

DM: Cruise lifts Malcolm to his feet and tosses him into the ring. He stays on the floor and is feeding off of the energy of the crowd.

MN: He’s making a huge mistake by playing up to these idiots. It’s giving my pal, MJ to the second power, some time to recover. I would hate it, more than anything, if Cruise ruined any advantage he gained by his quasi-suicidal maneuver to the floor. That would just be awful.

DT: No hint of sarcasm in your voice there…not at all.

MN: Bite me, Dave. I just want to see Cruise get what’s coming to him and he has been crushing my hopes and dreams by controlling the match for the past five minutes. It’s getting old. I hate him. MJ2 has gotta pull it out or all hope is lost.

DT: Cruise now getting into the ring and going over to pick MJ2 up. He whips him into the ropes…CLOTHESLINE…NO! Joseph-Jones ducks and stands in his tracks. Cruise turns around…and a SPINE BUSTER BY MJ2!

MN: Yeah…that’s what I’m talking about, right there! Tide turner, baby!

DM: The ring shook upon impact…MJ2 just drilled Cruise’s back into the mat and just like that…the tide appears to have shifted.

MN: MJ2 is not only the clear cut Rookie of the Year, but he is on his way to achieving greatness in Empire Pro! He is a legend in the making!

DT: Well don’t discount Cruise just yet. He is down, but certainly not out.

DM: Joseph-Jones now lifting Cruise to his feet…setting him up for a PILEDRIVER!

DT: Cameron’s head just bounced up about two feet upon impact! He is hurting…no way he didn’t suffer any neck damage from that.

DM: MJ2 doesn’t squander his time by playing up to the crowd…and goes for the cover.


ONE!


TWO!


NO!


DT: MJ2 seems a little confused…as if he can’t believe a devastating move like that wouldn’t put Cruise away. He immediately picks Cruise up…ALABAMA SLAM! Malcolm goes for the cover and hooks the leg…

ONE!


TWO!


THR…NO! Cruise somehow got his shoulder up!


DM: MJ2 pounds the mat in frustration. He lifts Cruise to his feet and whips him into the ropes…SIDEWALK SLAM! He goes for the cover again.


ONE!


TWO!


NO! How does he continue to get a shoulder up? Something has to give soon.


MN: Yeah, like his kidneys! You can’t keep taking this abuse and live to tell about it. Cruise is on borrowed time for this match. He doesn’t have much left in the tank. Another move or two and MJ2 can call it a night…maybe start demanding title shots. He deserves to be in the main event once he disposes of Cameron Cruise. Joseph-Jones is the real deal!

DT: Malcolm lifts Cameron to his feet and delivers a flurry of European uppercuts to soften him up. MJ2 whips Cruise into the ropes…HIPTOSS NECKBREAKER! MJ2 is doing a number on C2’s neck and back.

MN: C2? Oh no…don’t go biting off my boy’s name? That’s not cool. That is gimmick infringement. MJ2 has the number 2 copyrighted. Anytime Sesame Street wants that to be the Number of the Day, they have to get the express written consent of Mr. Malcolm Joseph-Jones. In fact, we might have to start doing a four-count for matches and skip the number 2 out of respect. Dan Ryan doesn’t need anymore lawsuits.

DM: Joseph-Jones now lifting Cruise to his feet. He is trying to set him up for another suplex…but NO! Cruise somehow reserves it and has Malcolm in a backslide for a pin attempt!


ONE!


TWO!


KICKOUT!


MN: Not the vicious Backslide of Doom that he is now famous for! That’s how he won the World title from The First! That move should be outlawed!

DM: I don’t know how he mustered up that counter, but Cruise is not out of this match just yet.

DT: MJ2 is back on the attack…he lifts Cruise to his feet. Malcolm whips him into the ropes and jumps on him with a Lou Thesz Press!

DM: But somehow Cruise rolls through it and has Malcolm in a small package!


ONE!


TWO!


NO! Malcolm reserves it…


ONE!


TWO!


NO! Now Cruise has shifted it…


ONE!


TWO!


THREE!


[SFX: Ding, ding, ding.]

DT: How on Earth did he pull that one out? If you blinked…you would’ve miss it!

DM: Cam was down but not out. Sometimes things move so fast in the ring.

DT: Cruise high-tails it out of there and celebrates on the ramp. MJ2 is on his feet and kicking the ropes…he is upset over the chain of events that just transpired.

DM: Let’s put it in perspective. MJ2 is a rookie and Cameron Cruise is a vet. Cruise used his ring experience and took the victory. MJ2 will learn from this match and I guarantee he won’t let that happen again. Here is Tony Fatora with the official announcement.

[Tony Fatora grabs the ringside microphone to announce the winner.]

TF: The winner of this bout…CAMMMERONNNN…CRRRRRUUUUIISSSSSE!

[Cut to a shot of MJ2 looking shocked in the ring. Cut to a shot of Cruise with his arms raised in victory on the ramp. Now a camera shot of the ringside announcers.]

MN: I’m speechless. This is a travesty.

DM: Let’s look at the replay in slow-motion.

DT: MJ2 hits the Thesz Press, Cruise hooks his head, uses the mass and velocity of MJ2 to aid him, and rolls through into a small package.

DM: MJ2 reverses it and then Cruise reverses that. He holds MJ2’s shoulders down long enough for the count of three and gains the victory over this hungry young rookie.

DT: Cameron Cruise is your winner, but this probably won’t be the last time these two face off. I think they both have a lot to prove to the other. Sometimes ring knowledge and understanding of momentum makes all the difference in the world.

MN: I think MJ2 silenced a lot of critics tonight and Cruise should thank his lucky stars to have survived the onslaught of brutality that MJ2 put him through! MJ2 is going to have a lot to say about this and I wouldn’t be surprised at all if he took out his frustrations on whatever schlub Dan Ryan decides to book him up against on the next show. MJ2 is the future of Empire Pro. Tonight may have been a minor setback but he won’t be fooled twice!

DM: Well let’s not discount Cameron Cruise’s victory. A win is a win. Cruise has a proven track record of being a formidable opponent no matter who he faces and if you ask me, he deserves a rematch for the World title after defeating this young upstart.

DT: It was an excellent match, gentlemen. Let’s now take you to a few words from one of our sponsors! Stay tuned!

 

[DBrunkGXW]

This is Kush

 

[DBrunkGXW]

Time to Boogie

[Outside of the arena, the cameras catch up with Boogie Smallz as he is being escorted off of the property by EPW security. Kenny Lombardo is on the scene with a microphone in hand.]

LOMBARDO: Boogie…what’s going on? You came out tonight and attacked Adrian Willard and Rich Mahogany. What was that all about?

[Smallz continues to shove the security guards around as the gate closes to the parking area he was being ushered out of.]

BOOGIE: Lombardo, it’s not a personal attack against them or anything like that. It’s a ma’phukin’ statement! What have these fools done to deserve to be in the mix for ANY titles in Empire Pro? Willard has been lost in the shuffle…he hasn’t exactly stuck out of the crowd as a man worthy of anything here. Mahogany all of the sudden shows up for the King of the Cage, doesn’t do anything either…and now he is mentioned as a man deservin’ of bein’ in the title mix.

My problem isn’t with them. I’m actually happy for them that they can do absolutely NOTHIN’ and get rewarded for it. I attacked them out of principle.

I don’t know if everyone here is just too blind to see it…or just too stupid to put all the pieces together. And since no one wants to say it…I WILL!

Dan Ryan is killin’ EPW!

I could be settin’ the WORLD ON FIRE and showin’ these assholes in Empire Pro how it’s done…but because Dan Ryan has too much pride. Because Dan Ryan must control everything and everybody in EPW…and I refuse to fall in line like the rest of the sheep…he eliminates the problem and thinks I will just go away.

Dan, you cost me my job by not re-signin’ me. And I take that as a personal attack on me. You just wanna sweep me under the rug and think you can control me that way. That’s fine…do what ya do. But don’t expect me to go along with it and just shut my mouth while you act like business is boomin’.

You want this to be personal? I got no problem doin’ that!

Dan Ryan is a corrupt shitbag. He takes his job too close to heart and doesn’t look at things…like any wise businessman would…which is OBJECTIVELY.

He is ruinin’ Empire Pro and is too conceited and full of himself to see it. Just take a look at some of the things that have been takin’ place recently.

You got the World champion fightin’ the head ref’s kid? [Holds his hands up and gives a WTF face.] What kind of shit is that?

You got Impulse and Sean Stevens MAGICALLY paired together in the King of the Cage through a supposed “random” draw that NO ONE was witnessed to. I could go on for hours on the debacle that is the King of the Cage…but I think everyone knows without me sayin’ a word.

Not to mention his inability to lure in top talent and make this company grow. No one wants to be in EPW as long as Dan Ryan is runnin’ things. And I don’t blame them. This place is a joke. If you want to mess up someone’s reputation in this business, just tell them that you are in negotiations with EPW…its damn near career suicide!

Think about it. You see other companies gettin’ an influx of talent…and Empire Pro misses out because Dan Ryan is incompetent and unqualified to be the head honcho of an organization.

I plead to the shareholders, the television networks that broadcast the shows, the sponsors that fill the shows with their advertisin’ dollars, and even the fans that pay their hard earned money to buy tickets to the events, merchandise, pay-per-views…whatever. ANYONE that has ANYTHING to do with EPW’s management…

REMOVE DAN RYAN FROM POWER!

Get rid of this pigheaded sonovabitch and put this company into the hands of someone that can make smart decisions. Someone that is capable of makin’ sound judgments without bein’ too emotionally attached to the situation.

And if no one has the power to do that…hit this piece of shit where it counts…his wallet. Boycott EPW. Stop buyin’ anything related to EPW. That means advertisin’ dollars, any television money from the networks, and for the fans to save up their money because of this horrible economy and not spend jackshit on Empire Pro.

He is goin’ to run this company into the ground unless someone steps up and stops him!

And you can bet that I will not stop until somethin’ gives. You may be done with me, Dan…but I am far from bein’ fuckin’ done with YOU!

[Police sirens wail in the background and seem to be approaching the scene.]

LOMBARDO: Boogie…what about…

BOOGIE: I gotta jet, Lombardo. Don’t worry…you’ll probably be seein’ me again…sooner than you think.

[The feed from the video cuts to static.]

 

[DBrunkGXW]

Aaron Jones v. The First

[CUE UP: “Ain’t No Rest for the Wicked” by Cage the Elephant.]

DT: Folks, it looks like our next match is about to begin, and boy…look at Aaron Jones right now.

TF: Ladies and gentlemen, the following is a non-title match scheduled for one fall! Introducing first…from Indianapolis, Indiana, weighing in at ONE hundred SIXTY pounds…AARON JONES!

[AARON JONES receives a few cheers from the crowd as he slowly makes his way toward the ring. He does his best to keep a stiff upper lip, eyebrows furrowed, eyes wide.]

MN: Next match? More like first slaughter. I’m not the kind of guy who usually says this sort of thing, but even I’M a little uncomfortable with what’s going to happen right now. Aaron Jones, bless his little heart, might as well be walking the Green Mile right now.

DM: Neely, are you saying you’re genuinely worried about Jones? I didn’t think you had it in you!

DT: Last time he stepped in the ring, he was against three main-event caliber talents in Anarky, Rezin and Malcolm Joseph-Jones. This time, though, he doesn’t have the big man MJ2 to watch his back. How will that impact this match?

[JONES makes it to the ring, nervously pacing from side to side. His eyes are pointed toward the mat, and he seems to be hyping himself up for the match.]

MN: That’s not a serious question, right? You’re joking. I’ve seen crabs in a tank at Red Lobster with more of a fighting chance than Aaron has right now.

DT: You give him no shot? Even with the improvements he’s made in the ring?

MN: None.

[CUE UP: “Happy Birthday” by The Birthday Massacre. A heavy chorus of boos rain down upon THE FIRST whose face is painted in an Eye of Horus motif. The EPW World Title hangs over his shoulder as he makes his way down, an almost ravenous expression on his face.]

TF: Now entering the ring…from Salem, Massachusetts, weighing in at ONE hundred NINETY-NINE pounds…he IS the EPW WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION…THHHHHEEEEEEE FFFFIIIIIIIIIIRRRRRRRRRRRRRRST!

Crowd: BOOOOOOOOOOOO

DT: And here comes the First, gentlemen, and I’m beginning to agree with Neely’s assessment.

DM: He has a really terrorizing look in his eye, doesn’t he? And let’s not forget some of the strong words he had for Jones leading up to this match: The First promised not only to win, but to BREAK him.

MN: It’s the kind of thing you hear a lot around these parts, but looking at these two face to face? The world champion and the red shirt? Hard to argue with that assessment.

[FIRST enters the ring, and his expression changes to a full on scowl as he burns a hole in the eyes of JONES. JONES stands toe-to-toe with him in the middle of the ring, looking up into the eyes of the champion, lightly swaying from side to side in anticipation of the bell.]

DT: Referee Nick DiGarma signals for the bell, and we’re off!

DM: Aaron Jones is throwing those hands! He’s going to try to take the fight to First!

DT: Several right hands by Aaron Jones and he’s got the champ moving backwards! Jones attempting the Irish Whip, reversed by First. Jones bounces off the ropes – JUMPING ENZUIGIRI BY FIRST! Holy mackerel! Jones flat on his back!

[FIRST places a hand to his jaw where JONES had struck repeatedly before turning his attention back to his opponent. Several stomps to the midsection, and the crowd chimes in with more and more boos. The referee tries pulling FIRST back, but he shoves him aside and mounts the chest of JONES, throwing stiff forearm shots to the face of JONES. The referee begins his five count, and FIRST steps off at four.]

DM: The crowd REALLY didn’t like that, fellas. Beating a defenseless Aaron Jones on the ground…

MN: Of course he did. Jones made a stupid move because he’s too inexperienced to know any better, and First wanted to teach him a lesson!

DT: A brutal one at that. Jones slowly rises to his feet, a welt already starting to form under his left eye. First charges, throws a wild clothesline – DUCKED by Jones! Jones drops down – Schoolboy!

1!

2! No, First with a kickout, and he gets to his feet quickly. Another clothesline – ANOTHER DUCK! Jones attempts another schoolboy – CROSS ARM BREAKER BY THE FIRST! He’s got him in the center of the ring, and it looks like Aaron Jones is about to – wait a minute!

DM: First released the hold??

DT: It looked like Aaron Jones was just about to tap to the cross armbreaker, and First decided to release the hold! What’s his angle here, the win was his!

MN: You guys don’t remember? This isn’t about winning. This is about BREAKING. If Aaron tapped, First loses his chance to legally beat the bejesus out of the kid.

DT: Oh God, what an awful thought that is…

[JONES rises, gingerly, clearly favoring his left arm which was in the cross armbreaker. He runs to the ropes, bounces off, and attempts a dropkick. FIRST dodges to the side quickly, leaving JONES to splat on the mat face-down. FIRST climbs on top of JONES’s back and begins delivering a series of knee drops to the left shoulder of JONES. The referee begins another five count. At four, FIRST delivers a final knee drop to the left cheekbone of JONES before standing and beckoning to the crowd. More boos cascade down.]

DT: Our world champion is just toying with poor Aaron Jones, now. This is sick. This is SADISTIC. Jones rolling onto his back, clutching that left arm now. The boy is in serious pain, folks.

MN: Can’t tap out if he’s not in a submission hold, can he?

DM: Look at First, he’s climbing up to the top rope!

DT: First, beckoning the crowd to boo him more! He’s LOVING this, FEEDING off their hatred! He leaps – CUT THE THREAD! CUT THE THREAD BY FIRST! That frontflip leg drop nearly took Jones’s HEAD off!

DM: He’s not going for the pin, guys…

DT: What?

MN: Like I told you. BREAKING.

DT: He’s stomping mudholes right into the belly of the fallen Jones! More basking in the boos as First steps away. The referee has to think about calling this one, doesn’t he?

DM: DiGarma’s kneeled down beside Aaron, he’s checking on him, seeing if he wants to continue!

DT: First with his back turned to the middle of the ring, the referee’s standing up! He’s walking towards the timekeeper and – OH GOD! OHHHH GOD.

DM: MOONSAULT! MOONSAULT TAKING OUT REFEREE NICK DIGARMA!

[The crowd lets out a loud “OHHHHHHH!” before returning to their chorus of boos. All three men are on the ground – DIGARMA out cold, JONES fairly decimated but moving slightly, and FIRST, clutching his lower back as a result of his unintended target.]

DT: Referee Nick DiGarma was going to call for the bell in this one, I do believe, folks, and his path crossed with The First’s flying moonsault. He is OUT on the mat.

MN: First looks PISSED, he landed pretty awkwardly. All Nick DiGarma’s fault, if you ask me – if you’re going to be a successful ref in this sport, you better know what’s going on around you at all times!

DM: Right, because referees have NEVER been tricked before in professional wrestling.

MN: This is different! First’s back was turned!

[The lights suddenly go out in the arena. The crowd collectively gasps, and a half-second of silence fills the arena like a vacuum before a buzz begins to fill the space.]

DT: What’s happening now??

DM: Someone get the lights!

[After roughly 10 seconds, the lights turn back on. DIGARMA is still knocked out. JONES is to one knee in the middle of the ring and FIRST is on his feet in the corner. A masked man stands on the top rope opposite FIRST, facing JONES. As the crowd realizes who the masked person is, they become electric.]

DT: We’re back and – wait a minute…who is THAT??

MN: You’ve got to be fucking KIDDING me.

DM: No, no…

DT: DIS! DIS IS HERE!

MN: TWICE. We did this TWICE already. What the hell is going on??

DT: TWISTING TORNADO DDT OFF THE TOP ROPE TO JONES!

MN: Dis I, Lindsay Troy…

DT: Pops back up, back to the top rope…CUT THE THREAD TO JONES!

DM: Dis II, The First!

DT: AND NOW HE’S…what?? He’s dancing over the fallen carcass of Aaron Jones! Taunting him!

MN: …THAT’S different.

DM: Who the hell is it THIS time?

MN: Is he doing the cabbage patch??

DT: The First looks confused as hell, and I can’t blame him!

[DIS slaps the referee on the top of the head and he slowly begins to stir. Walking out of the ring, DIS chuckles a bit in the face of FIRST before high tailing it up the ramp and through the back. JONES looks unconscious as the ref slowly makes his way over.]

DT: First still looks confused out there, and he makes his way over to Jones with the cover!

1!

2!

3!! It’s over!

[CUE UP: “Happy Birthday” by The Birthday Massacre”. FIRST, still bewildered, makes his way out of the ring and cautiously up the ramp.]

MN: Thank the LORD. Someone check on that Jones kid, he’s just been obliterated by the EPW World Champion AND the return of Dis!

DM: Who. The hell. IS IT??

DT: Folks, we certainly have more questions than answers at this point. The crowd here is STUNNED at the emergence of Dis III. More AGGRESSION when we return after this!

 

[DBrunkGXW]

Everyone Loves Chips

 

[DBrunkGXW]

From Boy to King

[FADEIN: The First wearing a black on black Red Sox cap, face unpainted, black button up shirt.]

FIRST: March 6th 2009…Night of my career, one on one with Sean Stevens for the EPW World Title. I was Felix Red’s flunkie, I was the weak link of the EPW World Tag Team Champions going into that match.

[CUTTO: Stevens and First hitting each other with moves during the match.]

FIRST: I wasn’t fighting a man…I wasn’t even fighting the EPW World Champion…I was fighting a legend, I was Triple X. That night changed everything…All that came after that…

[CUTTO: First unmasking as Dis after winning the EPW World Title. CUTTO: First as Pharaoh being carried to the ring at Black Dawn.]

FIRST: Came from that night, it changed my life…Just being in the same ring with Sean Stevens did that for me…

[Sean “Triple X” Stevens … from boy to King. DVDs in stores now!]

 

[DBrunkGXW]

The Last Nighthawk

[Backstage.]

[Standing to the left of the shot is backstage man Kenny Lombard.]

[To the right, six and a half feet tall of The Last Nighthawk, The Master of Wrestling, Christian Light. Dressed in a plain blue polo shirt and black jeans, he stands smiling for the camera, his pearly whites almost gleaming. His forehead has a couple of healing cuts from last show’s attack, but other than that he’s no worse for wear.]

KENNY LOMBARDO: Joining me now is Defiance wrestler “The Last Nighthawk” Christian Light

[Christian nods in affirmation.]

Christian Light: How are you doing, Mr. Lombardo?

LOMBARDO: Good, thanks. May I ask why you are here?

Light: I wanted to get two things off my chest. Number one, I feel like I need to address what happened last show with that man I fought.

LOMBARDO: That man you fought? You mean Boogie Smallz?

Light: Shhh!

[Christian looks at Kenny and puts his finger to his mouth.]

Light: Yes, him. He’s not worth me mentioning his name, because this is Empire Pro Wrestling, and people not under Empire contract shouldn’t be discussed any further normally. But, there’s one last thing that need be said about the situation.

If he thinks he’s gone out like a real man, like a gangster, or whatever he thinks...he’s wrong. Dead wrong. All he did was take the coward’s way out of a match in which I had him dead to rights.

I leave that man with one last warning. If he comes back to the Empire...or if he sticks his nose up anywhere where I am...I’ll be finishing the job I started last show.

[Kenny now has an odd look on his face]

LOMBARDO: That’s great Mr. Light...

Light[interrupting]: Chris, please.

LOMBARDO: ...Chris, then...but I am puzzled by just one thing. You’re not part of the Empire Pro Wrestling family, either. Why do you think you can speak on behalf of the Empire Pro Wrestling roster?

[Light smiles.]

Light: Well-timed, actually! Because that leads into my second point. After Aggression 70, Mr. Ryan and I got to talking, and, after some red tape got ironed out, you’re now looking at one of the newest Empire Pro Wrestling roster members.

LOMBARDO: Wow! Christian Light, a member of the Empire Pro Wrestling roster! Welcome aboard, Chris! What are your goals in coming to Empire.

[A pause.]

Light: To be the best wrestler I can be. To take on all comers. And maybe if I’m lucky, I’ll get a piece of an Empire Pro championship belt. Whether it’s Anarky, The First, or anyone else on the roster, they’d better be ready for The Last Nighthawk, because I’m here, and I’m not stopping until I’ve made my mark in Empire Pro.

LOMBARDO: Well, folks, this is huge news. The Defiance Master of Wrestling and a multiple year wrestling veteran has come to Empire Pro, and only time will tell how far he can go now that Boogie Smallz is no longer under contract. Let’s go back to ringside for our next match.

 

[DBrunkGXW]

KOTC SEMI-FINALS: Dirk Dickwood Present v. TEAM Viagra

[FADEIN: Tony Fatora is standing dead center in the middle of the ring, the cage surrounding him as he holds some cards in hand. “When The Going Gets Tough” begins to flow through the arena through the PA system to the brief befuddlement and anger of the crowd. Out from the back storms Dirk Dickwood soaking in the crowd's negative energy with
a wide smile on his face. He turns around and points to the entrance way as out from the back trots Cecilworth Farthington, bouncing around like he just slammed a Red Bull moments before the match. He is surrounded by his army of similar shirted and red shorted trainers but looming tall above all of them, his tag team partner, Hank.]


TF: The following contest is a King of the Cage Semi-Final bout. Introducing first, making their way to the ring at this time... they are HANNNNNNNK and CECILWORTH FARRRRRRRRRRRRRTHINGTON... they are
DIRK! DICKWOOD! PRESENTS!


DT: And here they come, representing I guess... for a lack of a better word... Dirk Dickwood in this bout. Dirk Dickwood Presents joined Bracket 1 thanks to a Lucky Loser slot opening up and they managed to sneak one past The Dreamstealers to go head to head with Viagra here tonight.


DM: I think we're going to have to be careful on commentary with this one, the team names could certainly lead to issues.

[Dickwood leads his group towards to ring, guiding Cecilworth and Hank up the steps and into the cage, Cecilworth flashing off a ring with the Farthington family crest to the official, who pays little mind to the bribery attempt. Hank meanwhile just stands in a corner and glares continously at Tony Fatora, causing Tony to shift a little uncomfortably]


MN: There wasn't anything sneaky about DDP's authoritive victory over The Dreamstealers, they came to this showdown as some dark, dark horses but the experience and negotiating skills of the esteemed Mr. Dickwood....

DT: Looking for a job at his agency?


MN: I show respect where respect is due.


DT: So yes?


[Just as Dirk and Cecilworth's trainer army take their positions at the DDP corner, “I Hope You Die” by The Bloodhound Gang fires up as out from the back storm Tony Davis and Jack Harmen – Team V.I.A.G.R.A. Davis seems a little bit more stormier than Harmen, rushing down to the ring, pushing past the official at the cage door and diving straight in to the ring. Harmen attempts to keep pace with Davis, rushing down to the cage directly behind his team mate but by the time Harmen gets to he ring, Davis has already been acquainted with the book of Hank's sending him staggering backwards. The official dives in to break up any other manner of brewhaha before the bell as each team take to their corners]


DM: I think DDP may have poked the bear with a stick when it comes to Tony Davis, the man is fired up. He's still trying to break free from his corner and lunge at Farthington.


MN: And that bear ran head long into a T-Rex with Dickwood's own security chief. If he keeps this up, he'll die. We'll see a literal in ring murder and I can't afford to spend the night sitting here and being interviewed by the police.


DT: Well, passions are going to be running high in this bout that will take one of these teams to the King of the Cage Triple Threat Final.


[DING! DING! DING!]


DT: And this one is off to a more official start as we see Viagra and Dickwood's team taking measure of each other.


MN: This is exactly what I was warning you about early.


DT: Regardless, Davis like a rabid pit-bull rushes straight for Cecilworth and Cecilworth does not look ready for it. Davis spearing Farthington to the ground here and I think the back of Cecilworth's head slammed right into the back of the cage, he's looking a little lost out there now.


DM: Well who can blame Davis, DDP labled him as a lame horse, he's put himself under immense pressure to impress here tonight and he's exploding all over Farthington.


MN: I heard directly from the great Dirk Dickwood himself that he's shined up a shotgun especially for the end of this...


DT: Well he may not get a chance as Davis continues to pound down on his golden boy and Hank can do little to stop it, occupied as he is with the Ultratitle Semi-Finalist and all around mad man, Jack Harmen. Harmen has dropkicked Hank right in the knee leaving the man almost ready to propose in the middle of the ring. Harmen now rushing towards Hank and smacking him in the back of the head with a brutal kick, I think the big man may need a big Tylenol after that shot.


DM: Viagra are really controlling the opening going, I don't think that DDP were quite expecting the fight that they have been brought and there's no bigger example of that than Dickwood going out of his mind on the outside.


MN: Rightly so, Viagra rushed down to the ring and launched a needless and senseless attack before the bell.


DM: THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT DDP DID AT AGGRESSION 70!


MN: And you didn't like it then.


DT: Farthington has managed to break free to the grasp of Davis, tripping him forward and sending him face first ring into the cage. Davis is not looking too good here but Harmen isn't going to allow Farthington any breathing room as he meets Farthington with an elbow to the jaw as Cecilworth scrambles up to an even base. Farthington staggering around a bit... looking like he's on jelly legs right now. Harmen hoisting him up now and...


DM: FLYER DRIVER!


MN: I think I saw Farthington's head fly into the fifth row.


DT: What is Harmen doing? Looks like he's scouting out the situation and thinks this is the perfect time to make a break for it. Hank's still recovering, Cecilworth is very well decapitated and this may be the moment to make the quick escape. Harmen rousing the dazed Davis back up to his feet now and both men have begun to scale the cage. This one may be over quicker than anyone expected!


MN: Maybe they really shouldn't have poked the bear.


DM: Well when you remember that DDP are still finding their footing as a tag team and they ended up across from decade long vets of the tag team scene...


DT: Dirk Dickwood is looking bug eyed on the outside right now, it appear he is directing traffic with some of Cecilworth's trainers. Harmen is almost at the top of the cage now and he sees the Farthington group of trainers edging close to where he is. He assess the situation, looks on to the crowd, shrugs his shoulders and...


DM: INCOMING!


MN: I wish you would stop doing that.


DT: Harmen dove right off the top of that case and has completely wiped out himself and all of Farthington's trainers. It's like a car wreck down there, meanwhile Tony Davis is reaching the top himself but he looks down at Hank and Farthington slowly scrambling back up... is he climbing back down? Is he gunning for more of DDP?


MN: I think DDP really got to him psychologically speaking and he may have just very well cost himself the match due to that.


DM: This is not good for Davis, Harmen's on the outside and with that dive, I don't see him making it back in any time soon.


MN: The wounded pride of Davis' may be Viagra's downfall in this thing.


DT: Tony Davis now, jumping back off the cage and into the ring, just as Hank gets back up thanks to a little help from the ropes. Davis rushes towards Hank and jumps at him but Hank sidesteps Davis, almost swatting him down to the ground like a fly. Davis is right back up however and locks his arms around the waist of Hank, he slips behind Hank and drives him down to the mat. Now he's swinging around and has Hank locked up tight in a hammer lock and the big man looks none too
pleased.


DM: Some of that college wrestling background kicking in there for


DT: And now Farthington is back up and smacks Davis right in the face with his boot.


MN: And that's some of Farthington's background showing.


DT: I didn't know Farthington had any kind of kickboxing background.


MN: He was very proficient at kicking the local homeless when they were down.


DT: Harmen starting to stir a little bit on the outside from within the sea of humanity he took down with him but it appears that Slick Dirk Dickwood has spotted that out of the corner of his eye. What's he doing with a chair? Someone has to stop this!


MN: CRACK!


DM: And you told me to stop.


DT: Harmen caught off guard and was slammed right between the eyes by the much, much, MUCH, smaller Dickwood. Harmen collapses back down on top of Farthington's masses of trainers. We're like a living breathing Team Viagra advert tonight. Meanwhile back in the ring we have Farthington stomping the hell out of Davis' skull as Hank clambers back up. Now it looks like Farthington is directing traffic, instructing Hank to hoist Davis up and he dutifully does so. Oh no, I don't like where this is going.


DM: Hank his Davis up in a press slam position and Farthington is pointing to the cage, this isn't going to end well!


MN: The price you pay for hubris, Davis wanted to prove he could go it alone, that he was a lame horse and now he's stuck 2 on 1 inside a cage with his partner nowhere to be seen.


DM: I saw him, 60 seconds ago in fact, getting smashed in the head by Dirk Dickwood.


MN: Semantics.


DT: With all his might, Hank tosses Davis dart style right at the cage and Davis smashes into it, collapsing down to the apron below. That is an impressive feat from the DDP Chief of Security because Tony Davis is no small man. Farthington now, looking on at Davis and rubbing his hands with glee. That is a manic glint in Cecilworth's eyes, he dashes towards the downed Davis and grabs him by the head. Oh man! He's slamming his head right off that cage. And again! And again! I think I
see a little blood.


MN: I think I see a lot of blood.


DM: Davis is fighting with all his might here to try and stop it...


DT: And he manages to do just that, Davis manage to overpower the slightly weaker Farthington and Farthington now meets the cage face first, a think I see a trickle of blood from Farthington too and he looks none too pleased. Davis though, climbing back up with the ropes but I think he's forgot the big man lurking in the shadows. Hank taking some measurements here and I think we have some bad news incoming for Tony Davis. Hank rushing towards Davis now.


MN: Boot meet skull, skull meet boot, skull meet cage, cage meet skull. I think we're all acquainted now.


DM: You're actually enjoying this, aren't you?


MN: I must admit I enjoy a man hoisted by his own petard.


DM: Did you spend the entire afternoon learning phrases from Farthington?


DT: Not enough yahs for that. Still Hank slammed that boot right into Davis, making his skull the meat in the middle of a cage and boot sandwich, somehow, I think thanks to the rope support, he's still standing. Not for long though as Hank hooks him up and brings him back to the middle of the ring with a big suplex... WAIT! Davis somehow manages to slip off from Hank, landing behind him. Hank turns around stunned and Davis in a last ditch effort... SMALL PACKAGE!


ONE!


TWO!




DM: Broken up by Farthington! I thought Davis had this one wrapped up but Farthington managed to get there just in time.


DT: Farthington is up and he doesn't look too pleased about his expensive mug being sullied by blood. Davis looks exhausted on the mat, I think that small package may have taken the rest of the gas from the tank. Farthington again barking orders in the ring, he's got Hank lifting Davis up but Davis once again showing the fight left in him. Davis throwing a few sharp elbows to the gut of Hank, winding the big man. Farthington now jumping in but Davis somehow managing to keep
Farthington at arms length too.


DM: Where is Davis finding all this last minute energy?


MN: He must be on something, I'm sure I'd be on a stretcher if I was losing the amount of blood I see on the mat right now.


DT: The odds are finally overwhelming Davis though and Hank and Farthington manage to penetrate the Viagra member's defenses. Hank rearing back with a roaring elbow right into the already battered, bloodied and bruised visage of Davis'. Davis looks rocked by the force of the elbow from the big man and he spins right round into the waiting arms of Farthington. Farthington hooks the leg and manages to power Davis over with a fisherman's suplex!


MN: He calls that the Worthless!


DT: ONE!








TWO!








NO!




DM: How the hell? How did Davis kick out? This is insanity!




MN: Poor Dirk looks like he's about to have a heart attack on the outside. It looks like he's now the one directing traffic from the outside. Farthington now beginning to scale up the corner as Hank pulls Davis back up.


DM: But look on the outside, Harmen is stirring again and I don't think Dickwood has noticed, too busy yelling instructions.


DT: Hank has yanked Farthington up into a piledriver position... I cannot condone what DDP are about to do. They could break the man's damn neck!


MN: Well, they did say they were going to end the lame horse's pain!


DT: Harmen now scaling the cage frantically, trying to save his partner and friend from DDP's eveil intentions. Farthington sees
Harmen, wipes the sweat and blood from his brow and offers Harmen a little bit of a royal wave. Now he's diving off the top!


DM: Adding a bit of insult to the severe injury with that one. The smug smile plastered across Farthington had only made Harmen climb quicker I do believe.


MN: It may not be quick enough, Davis is flopping like a dead fish from a BRUTAL spiked piledriver from DDP.


DT: Farthington hooking the leg now for the cover. Harmen almost to the top of the cage.








ONE!






DT: Harmen is starting to get his leg over.






TWO!






DT: Harmen is at the top of the cage and it looks like he may make his second dive this evening.






THREE?




MN: THREE!




[The bell rings as Billy Ocean fires up once again to a less than delighted crowd. Hank pulls Cecilworth out of the wreckage of bodies that Harmen's dive to the inside left and a very confused Farthington tosses a single arm up in victory]


DM: I can't believe it! The hand slapped down for three just before Harmen came crashing down on top of Farthington!


DT: Dirk Dickwood Presents have done it! They came in to Bracket 1 as the lucky losers and they've left as the victors of the bracket. I can't believe it, I really can't!


MN: I'll tell you who can, a very pleased, small man who is lighting up a cigar on the outside right now.


DM: Anyone want to tell him this is a no-smoking building?


MN: Go right ahead!


DT: This loss has to be stinging to Team VIAGRA, they almost had it wrapped up in the early going of the bout but Tony Davis wanted to prove a point, he wanted to prove he could still go and it cost them dearly.


MN: Davis did it to himself, he did, him and no one else.


DM: As true as that may be, I'm sure VIAGRA will be having some hard talks after this one.


MN: You really can't help yourself, can you?


DT: So Dirk Dickwood Presents head on to the King of the Cage final but the question remains just who will they face when they get there. We'll answer that question... next!

 

[DBrunkGXW]

Happy Meal

 

[DBrunkGXW]

Not the Bad Guy

We fade back in from commercial to see Steven Shane sitting in the backstage area somewhere. The scenery is dimly lit as Shane sits in silence. He remains still as an off camera voice breaks the silence.

“Steven Shane is not the bad guy here.”

“Many see his actions as the wrong thing to do in his situation.”

“However, an officer is not the bad guy for breaking up the loud house party.”

“Sentencing a criminal to prison does not make a judge the bad guy.”

“These are the actions of men who believe in justice.”

“Without justice, anarchy would ensue.”

“The bad guy is the man on the street who watches the thief run away with the old lady’s pocketbook.”

“The bad guy is the one that turns his head when his friend pulls out the drugs.”

“Guilt is as much a result of action as it is of inaction.”

“When justice is not served, it is the neglector of that justice who is at fault.”

“This is what makes Steven Shane an innocent man.”

“Steven Shane was merely a spectator while Larry Tact was served with his turn at justice.”

“Had Steven Shane intervened, just would not have been served; thus making Shane guilty of impeding justice”

“Steven Shane could not have that on his conscience.”

“Instead, Steven Shane is now free to further his investigation into his attack that nearly cost him his career.”

“Larry Tact’s idle positioning indicates that he was not the attacker; however, his inaction during the attack and his quick reaction to eat up the title shot make him guilty in the eyes of Steven Shane”

“Steven Shane now feels that justice has been served to the guilty Larry Tact.”

“But his search continues on.”

“More must face the reality of justice.”

“And Steven Shane is the man to bring them to that reality.”

“His path will not be announced, but it WILL be felt.”

“The entire Empire Pro locker room has been put on warning.”

 

[DBrunkGXW]

Can't Help It If I'm Rich

[Backstage, TEDDY ALEXANDER is heading toward the ring for his tag team contest against the ANIMAZING DRAGONS. Neck brace wrapped around his neck, scrawled across it reads "DEAD TOONS!" and his face is dressed with the glaze of a determined man.]

VOICE: [offscreen] "TEDDY! HEY, TEDDY! WAIT UP!"

[Snapping from his zone, TEDDY turns and snarls. Then his snarl dissipates and his face is left a little crimson from embarrassment.]

TEDDY: "Hey! Sorry about that. Was kinda in the zone. Tag title match and all."

[MATILDA, the girl whom TEDDY has been clearly smitten with the past couple of weeks just smiles at him.]

MATILDA: "I'm glad it's those guys out there and not me."

TEDDY: "They won't be glad in a minute when I snatch those tag title out of their cold, dead hands."

[Hands up, palms out, MATILDA takes a joking step away.]

MATILDA: "Easy, tiger. I just wanted to wish you luck."

[She leans in and kisses TEDDY on the cheek. His hand almost immediately goes to the spot she kissed and he grows redder than before.]

TEDDY: "Thanks."

MATILDA: "Maybe we can catch up again soon?"

TEDDY: "I'd like that."

MATILDA: "So would I."

[An awkward pause rises between them before TEDDY snaps out of it, remembering where he was off to. He makes a thumbing gesture behind him toward the gorilla position and she just nods as he heads off out of shot, the camera remaining on her as she gushes after TEDDY.]

OSV: “DWAAAM!”

[The shot widens just in time for RICH MAHOGANY to swagger into the frame. The Ladies Man’s eyes are wide, the visage of lust casually written all over his face. He slides in, man-thong and all, quite uncomfortably close to young Matilda Clark.]

MATILDA: “Excuse me?!”

[He faces wrinkles, though less in disgust and more in annoyance. The studious viewer might even catch her taking a split seconds worth of time to gaze at those boulder-like shoulders before remembering herself.]

RICH: “I didn’t know that MY FRIEND Dan Ryan was starting up a Ladies division here in the Empire, but he must have brought YOU in to be the centerpiece!

[She blushes.]

RICH: “The name’s Rich Mahogany, but you already knew that! But what I need from you now, pretty lady...” He takes her hand and kisses it. “Is for you to tell me what your name is.”

[She tries to speak but can’t, her voice caught in her throat after being caught so totally and completely off guard by the Vascular Vegan Vaginatarian.]

RICH: “Cat’s got your tongue, huh? The Rich-man can dig that, story of his life NAW’MEAN? But that’s okay kitty cat...”

[Mahogany reaches for a pocket that you can’t quite comprehend. The physics just don’t work. That’s beside the point though, as the Ladies Man produces a small, plastic hotel room key.]

RICH: “Tell you what, you think about it, an’ if you wanna come tell ol’ Rich what your name is and what your favorite kind of Fish Sam’mich is, you know where to find me.”

[He winks, flexes, and saunters off in the other direction, leaving MATILDA to try and get her bearing back about herself before ol’ TEDDY got back from his big match.]

 

[DBrunkGXW]

KOTC SEMI-FINALS: WORLD TAG TEAM TITLES: Animezing Dragons (cc) v. Alexander/Turner

[A panning shot shows the capacity-filled arena abuzz as the camera takes view of the entry-way.]

[CUE UP: “CMND/CTRL” by the Deftones.]

[The fans begin to boo as the team of SAM TURNER, JR. and TEDDY ALEXANDER emerge from behind the curtain and pump their fists on the stage. Teddy appears wearing his signature neck brace, while Sam grimaces into the disrespectful crowd from beneath the rim of a John Deere hat. After a moment, they make their approach to the encaged ring.]

DT: Welcome back to the show, fans... we’re just moments away from witnessing the next semi-final round match in the King of the Cage tournament... and this promises to be a good fight, as the EPW Tag Team Titles will be on the line! The team of Teddy Alexander and Sam Turner, Jr. are in the arena, and neither appears to be a welcome sight to this Atlanta crowd!

DM: Well, they may not be as popular, but results don’t lie. Teddy Alexander has been a dominant force since he first appeared in Empire Pro, and since he signed up for this King of the Cage tournament, Sam Turner, Jr. has proven he can hold his own!

DT: Both men came together in the fallout of the first round, and they earned their spot in this match thanks in part to Steven Shane refusing to cooperate with Larry Tact. This bout should definitely show us how these two are coalescing as a team... but they’ll definitely have a lot to prove given their opponents are the Tag Team Champions!

MN: I’ve got my fingers crossed... hoping this is the team that just breezes in out of nowhere when nobody’s looking and pulls off the upset!

DM: Don’t speak too soon, Neels, or you might find yourself eating crow later!

MN: Oh, really? Sam Turner, Jr. looks like a guy who’s probably eaten a crow or two in his life... among other things. Doesn’t look like he’s complaining.

[Alexander maliciously points to his neck several times as he makes his way around the ringside area. He takes the neckbrace off before entering the cage, but leaves it on the steps where everybody can see it. Turner reacts to his partner’s antics with bafflement, but seems to tolerate it, mind focused on the fight.]

[CUE UP: “Ikari No Jyushin” by Yumi Hiroki.]

[The fans POP LOUD as “THE DRAGON” KARL BROWN and OTAKU step out onto the stage together and stand side by side, both men pumping their arms and bearing the EPW Tag Team Titles around their waists. A moment later, they’re descending down the ramp and slapping hands with the fans.]

DT: Here come the champions themselves, the ANIMEZING DRAGONS! This tournament has been a battle for the two of them thus far, but they’ve held strong and kept their reign as champions in tact!

MN: Oh, but it won’t be lasting much longer!

DM: Don’t be too quick to count out the Dragons, Neels. They’ve outlasted some fairly stiff teams in the past, and they’ve carried that success with them into the cage. Unlike the team of Turner and Alexander, these two have proven they aren’t flukes!

DT: “The Dragon” Karl Brown is a cunning veteran and phenomenal athlete, and Otaku brings an uncanny technical and highflying ability that compliments his partner’s skill-set to a point of perfection. They may not look as tough as the likes of Teddy Alexander and Sam Turner, Jr. when you base it off appearances, but given their success as a tag team, you can’t deny the level of competitiveness brought on by the champions!

[The tag champions stride confidently into the ring, Brown giving only a momentary and undaunted glance at the neck brace left on the steel steps, which he kicks aside. The Dragons pump up to the turnbuckles when they enter the ring and get the crowd riled up. Alexander and Turner watch in revulsion. Once the music is cut, the official Pat Jones orders both teams into their corners to allow Tony Fatora to make the announcements.]

TF: Ladies and gentlemen... the following contest is a team cage match, for the EPW Tag Team Championships! Normal cage rules apply, but the titles will only change hands as a result of pinfall or submission! Introducing first... the challengers... weighing in at a combined weight of five-hundred and twelve pounds... the team of... SAM TURNER JUNIOR... and TEDDY ALEXANDER!!

Crowd: “BOOO!!”

TF: And their opponents... at a combined weight of four-hundred and eleven pounds... they are the EMPIRE PRO TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS... “THE DRAGON” KARL BROWN... OTAKU... THE AAAAANIIIIIMEEEEEZZZZIIIIINNG DRAAAAAAAGOOOONNNSS!!!!

Crowd: *POP!!*

[Brown and Otaku take one more moment to hold up their belts for the fans to see, then hand them over to the official. Jones props up the titles for a moment to give the camera a good shot of what’s on the line, and the hands them over to Fatora on his way out of the ring. Once he’s through the cage door, the outside official chains it shut behind him. With everything in order in the ring, the ref gives the timekeeper the signal.]

[SFX: *DING! DING!*]

DT: The bell sounds, and the Tag Team Champions look set to go... Otaku in motion off the ropes, and his partner Brown gives him an added whip by the arm for speed... and he comes right at Teddy Alexander with a running CROSS BODY BLOCK -- but Teddy catches him!

DM: Teddy was ready and waiting for that... but here comes Brown with the support!

DT: OH!! Alexander takes the low running dropkick to the KNEE, and Otaku whips him down to the mat with a falling headlock takedown off of the assist! The Animezing Dragons, coming right out of the gate with some fast action... but Sam Turner, Jr. throws himself right into the thick of it, meeting Brown with the forearm as he gets to his feet!

MN: Ouch... the HOSS sure can HIT!

DT: Brown looking rattled as Turner gets him back up to his feet... Alexander rising as well, shrugging off the ineffective kicks being given by Otaku! Turner has Brown up... there’s the lift... and a SCOOP SLAM puts the Empire Pro veteran flat on his back!

DM: He could probably use some assistance from his tag partner, but Otaku’s got all of Teddy Alexander on his hands now!

DT: Alexander back up and bearing down on the high-flying anime fanatic! Otaku going the other way... and there’s a quick SPRINGBOARD off the TOP ROPE into a MOONSAULT -- OH NO, ALEXANDER CATCHES HIM AGAIN!!

MN: THIS isn’t gonna be pretty!

DT: SHOULDER BREAKER across the KNEE!! Alexander nearly broke the smaller Otaku in HALF with that move! It was a quick and daring first strike by the tag champions, but the challengers have responded and taken control!

DM: They’re going to have to rally at some point, because if they can’t control the opening minutes of these match, then these two are just going to wear them down as the fight goes on! Alexander can see Otaku is in bad shape after that last move, and he calls over for the assistance of his tag partner!

DT: Turner was in the process of putting some boots into Brown, but he seems open to whatever Alexander may be thinking here! Teddy, meanwhile, grabs Otaku right by the NECK and lifts him up to his feet, right before tossing him HARD into the turnbuckle! Here’s Turner to his side now, and both men are lifting him up to the top rope!

MN: Whatever they have planned here, it’s going to blow that Japaholilc’s blue hair into yellow!

DT: Alexander telling Turner to move back a few steps... and Sam Turner, Jr. gives a recovering Karl Brown a hard KNEE strike just to keep him from getting any ideas of interfering! Teddy, meanwhile, takes Otaku by the waistband and the cuff of his uniform... and OFF GOES OTAKU WITH THE ROCKET LAUNCHER -- AND TURNER CATCHES HIM with the THREE-QUARTER NECKBREAKER on the landing!!

Crowd: “OOOoohhh...”

DM: My God, that was DEVASTATING!! Alexander doing his signature taunt to the audience, pointing to his neck and openly GLOATING over the damage he’s doing!

Crowd: “BOOOOO!!!”

DT: Sam Turner, Jr. takes the opportunity to make the first cover in this match!

One!

Two!

And it’s broken up by Karl Brown, diving in with the elbow! We were just a count away from watching the Tag Team Titles change hands in what would have been a HUGE upset!

MN: Ehh... while I wish it were as easy as that, these Animezing Douchebags have to be lame and put up a fight!

DT: The fans are heavily behind the Tag Team Champions tonight, rallying behind Karl Brown as he puts more elbow shots into the side of Sam Turner, Jr.’s head... and here comes Teddy Alexander! Teddy takes him from behind into the waistlock... Karl tries to struggle out, but Alexander overpowers and sets him into the rear facelock!

DM: Watch for the reverse DDT HERE --

DT: Wait, Karl turning out -- hooks the LEG -- WHAT a sweep to the mat! Brown countered and gave Alexander a taste of that British pedigree wrestling that has made “The Dragon” a staple of the Empire Pro ring for years! Brown crosses over Alexander’s back, and Karl slaps on a strong side headlock!

MN: That no-nonsense wrestling has no place in that cage! Get up, Sammy! Show that Cambridge kid how it’s done!

DT: Turner back on his feet, and despite Brown’s clinch on Alexander, Teddy manages to work back to his feet as well! Here comes Sam, and Alexander tries to counter with a BACK SUPLEX -- no, Brown puts the BOOTS into the face of Turner, knocking him away, and ROLLS OVER the shoulder of Teddy Alexander to drop to his feet!

DM: WHAT agility!

DT: Alexander turns around, and “the Dragon” LASHES him with a KNIFE-EDGE CHOP!!

Crowd: “WOO!!”

DT: And ANOTHER!

Crowd: “WOO!!”

MN: Ah, it never gets old...

DT: Teddy reeling in pain, but looking ANGRY... and Karl slips in behind to clinch in the waistlock! Alexander, off balance... and Brown BRINGS HIM OVER with the GERMAN SUPLEX!! HARD impact, and Brown handles the bridge!

One!

Two!

BROKEN UP, this time with Sam Turner returning the favor and giving “the Dragon” a HARD running kick right to the ribs!

DM: Karl was building some momentum, but that kick looked like it took the wind right out of him! Fortunately, he bought his partner some time, and it looks as though Otaku’s neck is NOT broken, as Teddy Alexander’s suggestions implied. He’s made it to the far corner, steadily making his recovery... but he’s got to get back to the action soon, because Karl could be facing some trouble!

DT: Alexander is back up, and he helps Turner in wrangling Karl Brown to his feet! They both hook the head... grab the tights... and there’s the DOUBLE SUPLEX to put “the Dragon” flat on the mat! The double teaming will no doubt wear Brown down to a pulp if this keeps up!

MN: Oh please, let this go on FOREVER!

DT: Turner telling Alexander to give him some space as he bounces off the ropes and comes back with a KNEE DROP -- NOTHING THERE, as Brown rolled to the side! Turner came down on the knee, and we can clearly see the pain on his face!

DM: Otaku’s grabbing the ropes, forcing himself back onto his feet! He knows this is his opportunity! Turner is vulnerable, while Alexander hones in on Karl Brown!

DT: Brown meeting Alexander with a FOREARM to the gut as he gets to his knees! Teddy is doubled over, and Karl quickly rolls him to the mat with a snapmare! “The Dragon” locks Alexander into the DRAGON SLEEPER, and now we have a submission attempt!

Crowd: *POP!!*

MN: That damned Karl Brown! He just REFUSES to quit!

DM: And we’re about to see if Teddy Alexander refuses to quit as well, as Brown wraps his legs around the ribs for a guillotine leglock, applying added pressure! Teddy’s in intense pain right now! You can hear him GROWLING in agony like a beast caught in a trap!

DT: Turner trying to shake the pain out of his leg as he goes to assist his partner... wait, here’s Otaku back to his feet, charging him from BEHIND -- and SAM TURNER, JR. GETS BOWLED right out of his shoes as Otaku TACKLES him from behind!

DM: He’s trying to buy his partner as much time as he can possibly get! Alexander may only be moments away from tapping out!

MN: Something tells me he’s anything BUT...

DT: Turner, trying to get up, but he’s met by Otaku, peppering him with a STORM of chops and kicks! Turner gets backed into the corner, and Otaku takes him by the arm... going for the Irish Whip, but Turner digs his heel into the canvas and REVERSES!

DM: Otaku can’t compete against that kind of power!

DT: Otaku into the corner... no, he boosts UP TO THE TOP in a single bound -- TURNER IS OUT IN THE OPEN -- AND OTAKU COMES RIGHT OFF THE TOP WITH DIVING CROSS BODY PRESS!! TURNER GETS STAMPED TO THE MAT!!

Crowd: *POP!!*

DT: Turner’s shoulders are on the mat, and Otaku HAS THE CHANCE to win this!

ONE!

TWO!

NO!! A kickout made by Sam Turner, Jr., pushing Otaku off of his chest before the count of three! And the official immediately turns his attention back on the submission battle between Brown and Alexander!

Crowd: “DRA-GONS!! DRA-GONS!! DRA-GONS!! DRA-GONS!! DRA-GONS!!”

MN: If only Teddy was on his feet right now, none of this would be happening! Rather, we’d be seeing Dragondork Z getting his neck wrung around into a pretzel!

DT: The fans don’t seem to mind seeing the Tag Team Champions retaining control of this match! Teddy Alexander, still fighting the Dragon Sleeper applied by Karl Brown... but now, perhaps unable to rely on a save from his partner, he looks to be trying to power his way out!

DM: Alexander just might be able to make it happen, with his strength advantage over Brown... but “the Dragon” is going to try and keep him pinned down for as long as it takes! Teddy can’t hold out forever!

DT: And meanwhile, Otaku waits for Turner to get to his feet... here he goes into the ropes... RUNNING DROPKICK catches Turner as he was coming around, and he goes back to the mat!

MN: C’mon, Jethro! They don’t have pigs that skinny back down on the farm for you to train on?!

DT: Otaku going for another cover, hooking the legs!

ONE!

TWO!

And Turner kicks out again!

DM: Turner’s hanging in there, trying to buy his partner some time! Alexander, meanwhile, has gotten himself turned to the side, using the ropes for leverage! He’s got a knee on the mat now... and Brown knows he’s losing this!

DT: My God, Teddy Alexander is just POWERING his way out of the Dragon Sleeper! Alexander, with his free arm, pulling himself back up with “The Dragon” Karl Brown clung over his back and shoulders! Meanwhile, Otaku, running off the ropes, going all out to try and put away Sam Turner, Jr.! Turner almost up... and here’s Otaku on the return, LOOKING FOR THE CHIDORI -- OH NO, TURNER COUNTERS, and Otaku EATS THE CANVAS!

Crowd: “BOOOOOO!!!”

DM: OUCH! Otaku was looking for the knock-out strike there with the flying forearm strike, but Sam Turner, Jr. anticipated it, stepping to the side and dumping the Tag Team Champion face first onto the mat!

MN: YES, FINALLY! Your turn now, Teddy!

DT: Oh wow... Alexander is back on his feet, and Brown couldn’t release the hold in time before he got lifted up off of his own! “The Dragon” stuck on the shoulder of the Philadelphian Nightmare... and Alexander LAUNCHES HIM INTO THE CAGE -- !!

SFX: *CRASH!!*

Crowd: “OOOoooohhh...”

DT: MY GOD, KARL BROWN JUST WENT FACE FIRST INTO THE STEEL CAGE WALL!! Alexander threw him with FULL FORCE, and just like that, the tables have turned on the Tag Team Champions once again!

DM: The challengers are definitely bringing the fight to them here tonight! But the Animezing Dragons have overcome great odds in many times past! It’s not over yet for the champions!

MN: Not YET, anyway! Judging by the look in Teddy’s eyes, though, it will be over for them soon enough!

DT: Alexander’s rubbing his neck, still feeling the effects of that Dragon Sleeper applied by Karl Brown... a taste of his own medicine, perhaps? Turner suggesting the trade off on partners, and Teddy eagerly goes after Otaku like a shark with the scent for blood!

MN: He smells WEAKNESS in that one!

DT: That leaves Sam Turner, Jr. to put some boots into Karl Brown as he lies stuck between the ropes and the cage wall! Meanwhile, Otaku trying to fend Teddy off with a shot to the abs, but Alexander strikes back with a knee right to the head! Alexander gets him up now... and lifts him right off the mat into a BEARHUG!!

DM: He’s got a TIGHT grip around the waist of Otaku, and you can hear the groans of agony coming from the Tag Team Champion as the wind gets squeezed out of him!

DT: Alexander TENSING that hold... and a FORWARD SLAM drives Otaku down onto his back like a pancake! That was DEVASTATING... and Teddy Alexander could have the PIN right here, making the cover and hooking the leg!


ONE!!


TWO!!


NO!! OTAKU GETS THE SHOULDER UP! I don’t know how he did it, but he got it up!

MN: STAY DOWN, you cartoon-loving freak!

DT: Sam Turner, Jr. has got Karl Brown back in between the ropes, and pulls him to his feet by the head! Alexander calls him over, and Turner throws “the Dragon” right into the waiting arms of the Brutalitarian! Teddy wrangles Karl into the front headscissor... hooks the legs... lifts him up into a PACKAGE, AND THERE HE GOES TO THE CORNER -- MY GOD, WHAT A DEVASTATING TURNBUCKLE PACKAGE POWERBOMB!!

Crowd: “OOOOooooohhh...”

DM: That was just PAINFUL to watch! Alexander may have just crushed the Tag Team Champions hopes of retaining the titles in that one powerful move!

DT: Alexander, taunting the fans as he points to his neck... and Turner has a nearly lifeless Otaku back to his feet... OH MY, what a HEADBUTT! Otaku is in no position to help his partner, as Alexander drags Karl Brown away from the turnbuckle, and goes for the cover!!


ONE!!


TWO!!



THR -- NO!! BROWN KICKED OUT!!

Crowd: *POP!!*

MN: UGH!! Come on, Teddy, break his Dragon spine!

DM: Karl Brown just plain REFUSES to go down! The Tag Team Champions are hanging on for their lives, but the challengers look ready to finish things offs! Turner asking for Alexander to get Brown back to his feet, and Teddy complies, giving the Kentucky-born brawler a shot at slaying the Dragon!

DT: Turner has Brown hooked... lifting him up for the POWERBOMB -- NO!! The Dragon FIGHTS BACK with shots raining down on Sam Turner, Jr.’s exposed head! Turner, surprised, about to lose his balance... here comes Teddy -- and Brown HURRICANRANAS TURNER INTO HIS OWN PARTNER!!

MN: NOOOO, DAMNIT!! You’re breaking my heart here, Sam! I keep FISHING for reasons to like you, and you keep disappointing me!

DT: Brown, trying to recover as Alexander and Turner pull themselves back together, and “the Dragon” helps his tag partner back to his feet... if the Animezing Dragons are going to make their move in this match, this is the time to do it! Alexander and Turner coming at them -- NO!! Brown and Otaku DUCK them simultaneously! They go into the ropes...

DM: And look at the Dragons FLY!!

Crowd: *POP!!*

DT: DOUBLE SPRINGBOARD MOONSAULTS by the Animezing Dragons! In one fell swoop, the team of Teddy Alexander and Sam Turner, Jr. get SWEPT TO THE MAT! Senior official Pat Jones is there to make the count on Alexander with Brown on top!


ONE!!



TWO!!



NO!! Alexander kicked out, but a half second later, and the Dragons would have retained their titles!

MN: And I would have CRAPPED an entire brick house right here on the spot!

DM: I’m thankful that didn’t happen, then... in any case, the Animezing Dragons have pulled themselves out of a bad position, and given themselves some room to work with!

DT: You’ve got that right, Dean-O... Karl calling over Otaku now, as the two of them get Teddy Alexander back to his feet! Teddy trying to throw them off, but “the Dragon” keeps the Brutalitarian stunned with a HARD knife edge chop! Both men now drawing him in and hooking the head... and there’s the DOUBLE SUPLEX to put the big man on his back!

DM: Teddy is down! Now the champion’s can capitalize!

DT: Turner looks groggy as he gets to his feet, and Brown meets him with a boot... quickly draws him in for the suplex, and gives the motion to Otaku! Otaku going to the corner and SPRINGS TO THE TOP ROPE!!

Crowd: “DRA-GONS!! DRA-GONS!! DRA-GONS!! DRA-GONS!!”

MN: Come on, Sam, DO SOMETHING!

DT: Alexander in no position to break it up... and Karl Brown lifts Sam Turner, Jr. UP and BACK DOWN HARD with the verticle suplex... AND HERE COMES OTAKU WITH THE SHOOTING STAR PRESS OFF THE TOP -- !!

SFX: *WHUMP!!*

Crowd: *MEGA-POP!!*

DT: HE NAILED IT!! THIS IS IT, THE DRAGONS HAVE RETAINED! Jones making the count...



ONE!!




TWO!!






THREE -- OH WAIT, TURNER GOT THE SHOULDER UP!!

DM: WOW!

MN: YES!! Sam Turner, Jr., welcome back to Mike Neely’s Pool of COOL!

DT: Sam Turner, Jr. just NARROWLY survived that fluid double-team maneuver! The Dragons look almost lost right now! They thought that sealed it with that absolutely BEAUTIFUL Shooting Star Press, but the resilient brawler out of Kentucky was able to withstand it!

DM: Alexander’s coming to now... and I think both Karl Brown and Otaku know that this isn’t going to get any easier with THAT beast still on the loose! Otaku getting Karl’s attention now, and pointing to the top of the cage!

DT: And it seems as though Karl understands what he’s thinking as he gives his partner a nod, and both men start scaling the cage wall, going to the TOP!! Could the champions be looking to win by ESCAPE here?

MN: Teddy and Sam are obviously more than they can handle! They might as well get out of their with their NECKS still intact, much less their reign as tag champions!

DM: It could be an escape attempt... and with Turner and Alexander still in the midst of recovery, it would only make sense to go for that opportunity when it’s right there, and neither of these men refuse to stay down! On the other hand, these two could just be looking for a little extra ELEVATION to hammer that stubborn nail into the coffin!

DT: Brown nearing the top, and Otaku isn’t far behind him... BUT WAIT!!

MN: UH OH, TEDDY’S BACK!!

DT: He was off the mat as soon as he noticed what was happening, and before Otaku could realize it, the Philadelphian Nightmare just clipped him by the heel and has a firm grip! Otaku, trying to shake him loose... and there’s a couple of BOOTS to the face with his free leg... but Alexander just REFUSES to let go!

DM: Brown stalling on his climb now as he sees the trouble happening below! The longer this struggle continues, the more time they’re giving Sam Turner, Jr. to get his wind back after that Shooting Star Press!

DT: Karl Brown knows what he has to do... he’s climbing back down to Otaku’s level, and now he’s giving his partner the assist he needs! That’s TWO boots into Teddy’s head, and FINALLY, Alexander gets kicked back! The Animezing Dragons make their way back up the cage wall, but now they have to hurry!

MN: Oh yes, they BETTER hurry... because if Teddy Alexander yanks them back down into the cage, he’s not just going to break their necks! He’s gonna skin ‘em ALIVE! I’m sure Sam could give him some pointers on that, too... he looks like the deer-huntin’ type.

DT: Alexander rubbing the pain out of his forehead, and now he takes Sam Turner, Jr. by the arm and gets him to his feet! Turner looks hurt, but he knows what to do here. They may not be the friendliest of teams, but at least they’re showing some cooperation at some level!

DM: This team may not EXIST after tonight if they don’t cooperate more, because Karl Brown and Otaku are reaching the top of the cage now!

DT: Here’s Teddy Alexander, FEROCIOUSLY coming up that cage wall after them, using those massive arms to make huge gains! Otaku pulls himself up to the rim, and he gets a leg over! Now he’s assisting Brown... but ALEXANDER got to him!

MN: Just when you think you’ve scuffed him away... BAM, there he is again, making your life miserable!

DT: Brown having to fight off the Brutalitarian now... giving a HARD shake of his leg, and I think Teddy may be losing his GRIP! There goes his FOOTING -- THERE HE GOES -- NO WAIT, Sam Turner, Jr., from right below him, catches him by the foot and keeps his partner from making the tumble back to the canvas!

DM: Amazing job by Turner, reading the situation right there!

MN: I’d honestly be amazed if that hick could read, PERIOD, but he hasn’t failed Teddy thus far, so I could care less!

DT: Otaku helping Brown over the rim now, and as “the Dragon” pulls his legs over the cage wall, Teddy Alexander rises up to their level from the other side! All these two men have to do now is touch the cage floor, but it’s long fall!

MN: And Teddy isn’t about to let either of them do that at this point!

DT: Alexander’s got Otaku’s head clinched in, preventing him from climbing down! Brown’s throwing some shots into his head, but Teddy just shrugs them off!

DM: He knows if he lets go, then this match is OVER!

DT: Turner making gains up the cage wall now to help out his partner... and Alexander, meanwhile, tries to combat Karl Brown with some elbow strikes! OH, and there’s a HARD backhanded strike... that nearly knocked “the Dragon” from the precariously top point of the cage and to the ringside floor below, where he would CERTAINLY hurt himself!

MN: Hit him HARDER next time, Teddy!

DT: Turner reaches the top... and now all four men are battling at the top of the cage wall! Teddy Alexander trades heavy shots with Otaku, while Sam Turner, Jr. goes at it with “The Dragon” Karl Brown! Who will come out on top of this battle?!

DM: I don’t think I’ve EVER seen the Dragons compete against a challenge quite like this! They’re putting it all on the line here tonight, and all they have to do is knock these two off of the cage wall and safely climb to the ringside floor below!

MN: Or just get knocked down their themselves!

DT: OH, WOW!! Turner just ROCKED Brown with a heavy haymaker... and ANOTHER! Brown is REELING, but Turner pulls him in to keep him from dropping! Now he hooks the arm... HE’S GOING FOR IT...

OH MY GOD, SUPERPLEX FROM THE TOP OF THE CAAAAGE!!!

SFX: *SLAAMMB!!*

Crowd: “OOOOHHHH!!!”

DM: INCREDIBLE IMPACT!! I’m surprised the RING held out!

DT: Both Turner and Brown are writhing in pain on the canvas, with “the Dragon” feeling more of it after those extra few feet of elevation! If their plan was to escape the cage, then Sam Turner, Jr. has effectively thrown them a monkey wrench!

MN: NOBODY is getting away from these guys! Now it’s Teddy’s turn to get that cartoon freak back in there!

DT: Back at the top of the cage, where the other two men are still slugging away... only Teddy, using his advantage in size and strength, is finally beginning to outlast the smaller Otaku, who is almost at the point of exhaustion right now! Teddy drawing him in now and hooking the arm... going for ANOTHER SUPERPLEX from the TOP OF THE CAGE -- !!

DM: But not so fast! Teddy tugging, but getting nothing for it, because Otaku’s got his LEG hooked into the cage!

DT: Otaku clinging onto the cage to survive... Teddy trying to reach down over the cage wall and remove that leg -- OH WOW, AND OTAKU SUDDENLY COUNTERS WITH A KNEE STRIKE!!

MN: WHAT?! Where did THAT come from!?

DM: Otaku hit is LIMIT BREAK right there, and caught Teddy Alexander RIGHT under the chin!

DT: A timely counter, and now Alexander’s fluttering... and Otaku’s trying to SHOVE HIM OFF -- BUT WAIT, HE GRABS OTAKU BY THE HEAD AS HE FALLS -- OH GOD, Otaku’s head just gets SPIKED OVER THE RIM of the CAGE WALL as Teddy Alexander DROPS TO THE MAT!!

MN: OUCH!! Shake it off, Ted, shake it off...

DM: Alexander made a hard bump off that mat, and it will take a minute for him to recover from that... and despite to the HARD shot against his face with the steel, Otaku hasn’t lost his grip from the top of the cage, now the lone man up there!

DT: But looking down, he can see it’s his partner alone with the two challengers! Turner back on his feet, rubbing the soreness out of his back, but ready to finish the job he started on “the Dragon”! He gets Karl Brown back up... lifts him onto his shoulder!

MN: DRILL HIM, Sam!

DT: Turner in motion for the POWERSLAM -- NO, WAIT... BROWN DROPS DOWN THE BACK with Turner’s HEAD LOCKED IN -- THERE’S THE LIFT -- DRAGON’S BITE!!! OH MY GOD, WHAT A COUNTER!!

DM: He couldn’t have picked a better time to pull that one off! Sam Turner, Jr. was looking to put this into the books and make a name for himself as an Empire Pro Tag Team Champion, but “The Dragon” Karl Brown, showing YEARS of experience and awareness, reversed the momentum into that signature Inverted Brainbuster!

DT: There’s NO WAY Turner’s kicking out of that! Brown with the COVER!!



ONE!!





TWO!!







THREE -- NOOO, BROKEN UP BY TEDDY!!

MN: YES!!!

DM: Where did HE come from?! I thought he fell off the top of the cage!!

DT: Somehow, someway, with a second wind that only Michael Myers could identify with, Teddy Alexander came back, lunged himself nearly HALFWAY across the ring, and broke up that pin with a double axe-handle smash across the back of Karl Brown’s head!

DM: Alexander’s getting up now, and there’s a noticeable limp... he’s STILL not completely recovered from that fall, but he’s fighting the pain, intent on leaving EVERLASTING PAIN on Karl Brown as he puts one vicious boot after the next into the back Empire Pro legend’s neck!

MN: STOMP HIM, Teddy! He’s no dragon; he’s a SNAKE!

DT: Hang on just a minute... we’ve got Otaku, still at the top of the cage wall, pulling himself up and perching his feet! My God, is he going to COME OFF OF THERE?!

Crowd: *POP!!*

DM: You KNOW it, Dave! Otaku looking down at Teddy Alexander, as the Philadelphian Nightmare looks down on Karl Brown! He better NOT look up!

DT: Alexander looking into the audience and hearing the commotion... but he just starts pointing to his neck! He doesn’t suspect a THING! He’s waiting for the killing blow, and coaxes Karl Brown back to his feet...

Otaku: “HEY!!”

DT: Otaku just got his attention -- AND HERE HE COMES OFF THE TOP OF THE CAGE WITH THE SHOOTING STAR PRESS --

-- AND TEDDY CATCHES HIM!!!

DM: OH NO!!

MN: Oh YES! YES! YES!!!

DT: Otaku came down WITH ALL FORCE, and Alexander just plucked him out of the sky like a FLY... Otaku getting wrangled onto the shoulders... Teddy REACHES UP AND CLINCHES THE HEAD -- OH MY GOD, HE NAILS THE RAGEKILL DRIVER!!

DM: I DON’T BELIEVE IT!! TEDDY ALEXANDER, with an UNBELIEVABLE COUNTER, utterly DESTROYS OTAKU with the FALLAWAY PACKAGE PILEDRIVER!!

DT: Karl Brown and Sam Turner, Jr. finally coming around to recovering as Teddy Alexander rings the DEATH KNELL on Otaku... and Alexander is IMMEDIATELY on top of Karl Brown!

DM: He’s got him trapped in the corner! Sam Turner, Jr. is going for the pin, and Karl can’t do ANYTHING ABOUT IT!!

MN: DO IT SAM!!

DT: THIS IS IT!


ONE!!




TWO!!





THREE!!! WE HAVE NEW TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS!!!

SFX: *DING! DING! DING!*

Crowd: “BOOOOOOOO!!!!!”

[CUE UP: “A Country Boy Can Survive” by Hank Williams, Jr.]

[Sam Turner, Jr. pushes himself off of the unmoving Otaku and joins Teddy Alexander in celebration, with Alexander practically throttling his own neck in sick pride of his finishing blow. Brown immediately goes to check on his partner’s condition, looking up only as he sees the timekeeper enter the ring with the tag belts, which he hands over to the victors.]

TF: Ladies and gentlemen... the winners of this match...

...and NEW Tag Team Champions of Empire Pro...

TEDDY... ALEXAAAAANNNDEEEERRRRR... and SAM... TURNER... JUUUUUNNNIIOOOORRRR!!!

Crowd: “BOOOOOOOO!!!!!”

DT: The newly christened tag team champions are celebrating in tandem, and with good reason! Not only have they fought their way into the final round of the King of the Cage tournament, but they’ve also put their names into the EPW history books by earning their first pieces of Empire Pro gold together!

MN: WOO-HOO!! Cheers to the new tag champs, Teddy and Sam! I’m officially dubbing these guys the RAGEKILL REDNECKS!!

DM: Ugh...

MN: No? Okay, how about... the RED-NECK-BREAKERS!!

DM: …

MN: Murder and Muttonchops??

DM: Just give it up, Neels.

DT: In any case, it was a noble effort made by the Animezing Dragons to retain their titles, but Alexander and Turner were able to withstand everything they could give them and pull out the win!

DM: And Otaku is still on the mat after that devastating Ragekill Driver! EMTs are coming down to give him assistance now, but I seriously hope he isn’t hurt!

DT: The same could not be said of Teddy Alexander, right now, as he exits the cage, but only to retrieve his neck brace! Teddy’s back in the cage now, and he disgracefully THROWS that brace to the mat right where Otaku is lying hurt with Karl Brown at his side!

MN: He’ll definitely be needing THAT in the coming days!

DT: Brown throws that neck brace aside as he bursts to his feet, and now the ring officials are trying to keep these men separated before a brawl breaks out! We’re going to step away for a moment for a commercial break, ladies and gentlemen, but the MAIN EVENT is coming up next, so don’t go away!

[With a sinister smile still spread across his face, Alexander is finally coerced out of the cage by the ring officials, but doesn’t break the staredown with Brown. He joins his fellow tag champion on the outside and both men pump their fists to the jeering fans as the feed fades out to commercial.]

 

[DBrunkGXW]

Conversation

[FADEIN: Backstage, as afew staff members hustle and hurry about. The Camera angles over to an office door where slight muffling can be heard, as voices raise and lower but remain inaudible. The camera then rises upward to focus in on the nameplate on the outside of the office which reads "Empire Pro Wrestling Owner Dan Ryan". Then abruptly the muffling stops and all can be heard is the tick-tacking of his secretary, Phyllis' computer. After a good forty-five seconds, the door opens and out comes Cameron Cruise, dressed in black slacks with a sport coat to match with a blue undershirt and "Anarchy" style shades. Adjusting his coat, he walks out of camera-view with a purpose.]

FADEOUT

 

[DBrunkGXW]

Offering

[FADE IN: The locker room, on the EPW Television Anti-Champion, ANARKY, in the midst of quietly wrapping up his hands into tape. Off camera, we can hear a couple of muffled coughs, and REZIN wanders into the frame accompanied by a wisp of smoke.]

Rezin: Look, man... now that we’re about to get into this... I think there’s something we need to discuss.

[Anarky looks up, but doesn’t say anything right away.]

Rezin: Now, you and I both know that ninety-nine percent of the ignorant and squishy SHEEP in tights that have the audacity to call themselves “professional wrestlers” couldn’t last in that ring with the two of us. They’d push our limits, sure... but we’d just push them back. We’d SURVIVE... like true muthafuggin’ predators...

But these guys... these two are that one percent. And while you and I both know that we’ve got WAYS for making people bleed... if there’s anybody in this federation who could withstand any of it, it’s the two of them.

We can’t afford to risk anything... the Anti-Title can’t risk changing hands. So, whatever happens in that cage... if they just refuse to DIE like the fucking stupid sacrificial LAMBS they are... we need to do this the most logical and straightforward way that there is.

The moment the opportunity presents itself... we go over that cage wall, and we don’t look back.

[Anarky blinks, as if mentally slapped by the very concept of putting distance between the opponents and himself.]

Anarky: So you want to run and hide? You want to continue to let them call you the Escape Artist? Continue to mock you for cowarice?

Those two motherfuckin' politicians are ruining this sport. They're turning into a goddamn campaign, and you want to turn your back and fight another day?

No. We fight today.

I'm tired of listening to these two assholes list their 52-point plan for how great they are. Tired of listening to their point-by-point rebuttals about how some technicality means they win. Tired of their selling, selling, selling. Tired of hearing about how yeah, you're fine, but oh, you didn't quite stick the landing like I did, so blah blah blah.

I'm tired of hearing it, Rezin, and I'm sure as hell not going to back down from this bullshit.

[Rezin stubbornly scratches the scruff around his chin.]

Rezin: Let’s focus of what’s IMPORTANT here, dude... and that’s usurping the THRONE! We don’t have ANYTHING to prove to those assholes. We don’t have to play their pissing game.

All we have to do is SURVIVE and MOVE ON to the final round. As long as we DENY them of taking what they THINK they could so easily take from us...

Anarky: What good is the THRONE without RESPECT? What good is it to advance if you can't stand and fight? NO. We've come too fucking far to sit idly by and win on a technicality. That's their game. That's what they want.

We're better than that. YOU'RE better than that. We are fighters, not cowards. There's only one way out of the cage for them, and it's through us.

When the time comes, friend... you'll know what to do.

[Anarky stares at him with daggers in his eyes. Rezin looks away... takes a second to mull it over... and looks up again.]

Rezin: Okay, man... ‘til the bitter end.

Well, then... let’s go make an offering to the gods of violence...

[Both men exit through the door, heading to the ring.]

 

[DBrunkGXW]

Jammie