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AGGRESSION 71 POSTED + FEEDBACK

RStrawsma

Strawbot
Joined
Jan 1, 2000
Messages
1,512
Points
36
Age
40
Location
Indiana
Okay, here we go...

Opening Segment
Two things I always like: 1.) World Champion appearances at the start of the show, and 2.) Dan Ryan being interrupted in the middle of office work. So this angle worked for me on two ways. This was a good angle to go with for the start the show, and it worked to put the World Title picture right on back on track. I also liked the nod to my character Rocko as a potential next contender for the belt; even I forgot that asshole was coming back, lol.

Show Intro
It's back... and my ever needy anal-retentiveness has been relieved for the time being. We should probably consider a new highlight reel after the Pay Per View... one with more action shots thrown in.

Adrian Willard vs. Rich Mahogany
Good move including the show run-down at the beginning of the match, coming out of the intro. I always find that a good card has a cohesiveness to it, rather than just being a collection of posts written by different people.

Onto the match... Rich's return was great, but now I'm also happy to have Adrian Willard back. Only thing I found strange was that since his absence, he's apparently gone heel. Rich going toward face, I was kinda feeling based off of the last show... but I must have missed Willard's turn, unless it came up in the RPs.

The match itself was a good read. Adding the touch about the two of them having a war of words gave me some good insight on the animosity between both competitors. The fast-talking commentary approach can sometimes get a little hard to follow, I feel, but not really detrimental to the match itself. Actually just shows a sign of style.

I gotta say, I kinda felt the finish was appropriate. I almost felt that either man winning clean would have damaged the other's credibility, so neither really has much to lose by having a good contest interrupted by a third man. I understood its importance, giving the build-up to the Intercontinental Title match. It probably could have helped if one of the commentators made mention of how Boogie related into all of that, though... otherwise, it makes the attack seem random, unless you've been following the IC Title Match plot thread as I've been.

Japanese Commercial
That would have even been even better if the cab driver ran over his junk...

MJ2 Segment
Awesome promo, and a good build up to the following match. Clear, concise, and direct... really turns me on to the character.

Cameron Cruise vs. MJ2
Commentators starting out by bringing up the recent events that brought the two of these contenders into this match was a good touch. One of the traits of a good match, I feel, is the ability to stand on its own. Which is to say, a first-time reader could come in and read this without feeling like they've been deprived of some vital information which can only be gained by closely following the events spanning several shows.

This was a pretty awesome match to read through. Dig the style and the pacing and everything. Marked out seriously when Mike Neely started being the white guy who thinks he's a hardcore rap gangsta in an effort to be more like the guy he's cheering for. This was probably the one and ONLY instance where I could see him rescinding his support for Cameron Cruise.

Also felt this match had an appropriate finish. It's a clean with for Cruise, and supports his veteran status. At the same time, MJ2 benefits from taking Mr. Grand Slam to his limit and bringing it to a quick shift of momentum, rather than surrendering to the Cruise Control or falling prey to the Reality Check. I could also imagine the character's frustration, which seemed to have already been growing up to this point... so you know that it's all going to come to a head at some point. PPV is coming up... just saying, I'd really hate to wrestle MJ2 when that comes around. Another trait of a good match is one where everyone involved can take something away from it, as was the case here. Really solid work.

Kush Commercial
Boob support? Come on, my junk could do that...

Boogie Smallz Segment
A good follow-up and resolution to the attack on Willard and Mahogany, bringing some sense to his actions. Really bold delivery here...Boogie is totally unforgiving in portraying the bossman as completely incompetent. Smallz vs. Ryan is a rivalry forged by the Gods of E-Wrestling. Gentlemen, Saint Dupree smiles upon us. But yeah, anyway... can't wait to see where this goes on the next card. I have a feeling Ryan is going to lay down the mutha-uffin' LAW after this.

The First (C) vs. Aaron Jones
Commentary did a really good job at the start of the match setting up what was about to go down here, playing up the extreme disparity between these two contenders. Match itself was a really good and easy read, with a good flow of storytelling and insight from the commentary. Only thing I felt could have made it better would have been a brief Jones comeback from the endless assault... I dunno, something that detail's the young man's progression as a wrestler. In any case, it didn't really feel like the interference of Dis at the end of the match did much to determine the outcome. Still a good match.

As for the finish... while I feel the Dis gimmick could be overplayed by this point, it doesn't do much to dwindle the potential excitement I have for who I predict could be the man under the mask.

Another Japanese Commercial
It's even stranger, knowing that the dog-man's junk is showing...

"Triple X" Sean Stevens DVD Spot
So every one has a different person, talking about their experience with "Triple X" Sean Stevens? Thanks, guys... now I know what Rocko can do on the next card. :)

Christian Light Segment
Excellent promo, capped off by a big announcement. Welcome to the Empire, Last Nighthawk.

Dirk Dickwood Presents vs. Team VIAGRA
Yet again... points for recapping the important event leading up to this match. Match itself had a very casual style to it, as opposed to the OMFGWTF thousand-miles of capped text that marks my own, but the subdued delivery makes the action really easy to follow.

Commentary followed the action really well, in this manner. I'm also glad to see a team try to win by escape... a tactic that often gets looked at as an easy way out, but if you think about it, it's like trying to win by a last man standing ten count instead of a three, with the help of a pin.

The portrayal of DDP as a team is awesome, with Cecilworth giving commands and only chipping in whenever convenient or necessary. I also got a feel for both Jack Harmen's suicidal craziness and Tony Davis' short fuse. Every character was represented perfectly, in other words.

The ending was also pretty dynamic, with Harmen coming within a half second of breaking the pin after a huge high-flying move. DDP survive using some fairly shady, yet fairly effective, tactics... but Team VIAGRA still showed a lot of fight. Interested to see where that team will go in the fall-out of this match. Happy to see that Colin, who at one time seemed lost in the shuffle of Bracket of Death, has emerged triumphant and found his way into the final round.

Happy Meal Commercial
Uh... Ronald McDonald eats a guy... and junk.

Steven Shane Segment
A good follow up segment given the results of the last show. Steven Shane talking in the third person seems to be an interesting evolution in the character. Not sure if this will build up into a Shane vs. Tact match or anything, but definitely opens the door on where Shane can go from here.

Teddy Alexander / Rich Mahogany Segment
This is a good way of featuring two characters in one segment, using Matilda as the centerpiece. Both bits were equally excellent and entertaining. I almost have to wonder if this is going to build into something more into the IC Title competition.

Teddy Alexander & Sam Turner, Jr. vs. The Animezing Dragons (C)
So... funny story about this match.

Brunk gives me the instruction to make it good, cause it's a title match... but nothing too big, since it's not the main event. Ten pages, or so. So I'm writing this, and realize I'm around size, and I say, "Okay, time to wrap this up and tie everything into the finish I have in mind". By the time I finish, I check the page count again, and I'm at 17...

...shit...

Yeah, I got too epic with this shit again... my bad.

I tried my best to represent all parties involved in this match. I especially hope I did okay with Sam Turner, Jr., whose bio I could only find after trading a goat to an old gypsy woman. My goal was to make the defending champions look competitive as always, but perhaps a bit unassuming of the brutality and resilience brought on by this team. If I can get some feedback on how I did with that, or how I did overall, that would be peachy.

Cameron Cruise Segment
What this really could have used was an extra fifteen seconds, with Kenny stopping Cam and asking him one simple question: "Are you trying to get a rematch for the upcoming Pay Per View?" Regardless of how Cruise would have responded -- he could have owned up to the truth, he could have refused to comment, or he could have just up and blasted the reporter in the face for having the audacity to stop him on his way back to the locker room -- he would have still looked like a badass with a lot to be angry about. As it stands, the promo does its job in making me wonder what was talked about. I'm just wondering what in all of this was supposed to make me WANT to know what they were talking about. Something to consider... it just felt like there wasn't enough Cruise on this show.

Rezin & Anarky Segment
The purpose of this promo was to set up the angled spot we sent in for the match. Rezin shows some doubt... Anarky remains fixated on the purpose, and seems to get him back on point. This would lead up to Rezin's sudden ascent up the cage wall during the main event, which was meant to lead the reader to assume he was making an escape attempt. Please let us know if this point did or did not get across, or if there was anything Josh and I could have done to make it better.

Jammie Commercial
I don't have any junk jokes for this. This invokes more... vaginal reactions.

"Triple X" Sean Stevens & Impulse vs. Anarky & Rezin
Well... definitely wasn't the result I was hoping for. Was kind of thinking a good showing in this tournament would be a shot in the arm the Rezin character needed, but it looks like it's back to jerking the curtain at the Pay Per Views for him. Happy that at least sounds like the Anti-Champion has the opportunity to move up from this. A lot of great things to say about Short and Russo in the promos for this match... they really earned this win.

The match itself was well-written and concise... I got a feel for the competitiveness with the back and forth action. Felt like there could have been more mention to the history these four men have with each other and the King of the Cage tournaments of past. As a result, I feel like the significance of the moonsault back into the cage spot might be lost on many who don't know that Rezin's historically been the guy who always tries to escape the cage to win matches.

Was there anybody who picked up on that being the pay off to the segment earlier? If not, please tell me where and how I can improve. I sent in an angle package that I admit was kind of lengthy and over-detailed... not much of it seemed to get used, so I'll take that as an indicator that I should probably just let match writers do their jobs. As if it wasn't bad enough holding up every card with my ridiculously long matches, I just seem to bungle up the progress of every match my characters get involved in by sending in anything.

Match of the Night: Dirk Dickwood Presents vs. Team VIAGRA... had the right amount of length, action, drama, and characterization. I honestly felt all the matches were really good on this show, though.

Face of the Night: Very much "Triple X" Sean Stevens and Impulse, for their heroic and valiant effort in decisively out-wrestling and defeating two very obviously inferior athletes!

Heel of the Night: Dirk Dickwood Presents snuck their way in the back door and slipped into the main event... so I'd give it to them. Boogie came into a close second, but sadly, wasn't involved in enough in-ring action to take it home.

Moment of the Night: Oh, it was DEFINITELY watching Cameron Cruise walk out of Dan Ryan's office...

...but nah, I really liked hearing Christian Light announce his official coming to Empire Pro. And just about all of Rich macking on Matilda.
 

fugginVOSS

The REAL Funk U. T-shirt
Joined
Aug 26, 2008
Messages
1,214
Points
36
Age
43
Location
Australia
Teddy Alexander & Sam Turner, Jr. vs. The Animezing Dragons (C)
So... funny story about this match.

Brunk gives me the instruction to make it good, cause it's a title match... but nothing too big, since it's not the main event. Ten pages, or so. So I'm writing this, and realize I'm around size, and I say, "Okay, time to wrap this up and tie everything into the finish I have in mind". By the time I finish, I check the page count again, and I'm at 17...

...shit...

Yeah, I got too epic with this shit again... my bad.

I tried my best to represent all parties involved in this match. I especially hope I did okay with Sam Turner, Jr., whose bio I could only find after trading a goat to an old gypsy woman. My goal was to make the defending champions look competitive as always, but perhaps a bit unassuming of the brutality and resilience brought on by this team. If I can get some feedback on how I did with that, or how I did overall, that would be peachy.
I really enjoyed the way this match pieced together. Having seen your objective of the Animezing Dragons unassuming of the power that the "Ragekill Rednecks" (best name ever) seemed to piece together nicely and I think you captured that.

I totally marked out for the end spot. There were "HOLY SHIT" chants echoing through my brain.

I really enjoyed it and of course... it was sweet to win that one, too. But then again, I'm ALWAYS a massive fan of your matches, Strawsma. Keep it up, brother.
 

brusch

Main Event Caliber
Joined
Apr 16, 2012
Messages
836
Points
18
Location
St. Louis, MO
The First (C) vs. Aaron Jones
Commentary did a really good job at the start of the match setting up what was about to go down here, playing up the extreme disparity between these two contenders. Match itself was a really good and easy read, with a good flow of storytelling and insight from the commentary. Only thing I felt could have made it better would have been a brief Jones comeback from the endless assault... I dunno, something that detail's the young man's progression as a wrestler. In any case, it didn't really feel like the interference of Dis at the end of the match did much to determine the outcome. Still a good match.

As for the finish... while I feel the Dis gimmick could be overplayed by this point, it doesn't do much to dwindle the potential excitement I have for who I predict could be the man under the mask.

I think you're definitely right on with the note about Aaron Jones probably needing more of a "hope" spot - at the time, I was thinking about how he's still working on a moveset that's essentially dropkicks and schoolboys and facing the World Champ, but even moreso than that I was thinking "holy shit I need to write something super fast and get this in NAO". If I could take more time on the match, I think I would've had a better all-around match written.

And you're absolutely right - MJ2 is a wrecking ball of frustration right now :D. Very interested to see where he goes from here.
 

RStrawsma

Strawbot
Joined
Jan 1, 2000
Messages
1,512
Points
36
Age
40
Location
Indiana
OH YEAH... forgot that was the last minute match. In any case, Jones looked pretty competitive in the beginning... and he definitely had his work cut out for him in this match.
 

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