Day two in Minneapolis, and we're apparently right in the median. Negative nine degrees.
We're celebrating this cold front (no kidding) by ordering room service and staying in. Law and Order is on.
Amusing sidenote, a friend of mine was once accosted by the police for drunkenly dumping garbage cans in the middle of the street. When stopped by police, the officer was willing to let him go if he cleaned everything up. He did not, and he stated that he knew his rights, as he watches Law and Order.
We picked him up the next day after bailing him out. Lesson learned.
But in the midst of watching the antics of Detective John Munch, my mind drifted to The Big Lie.
Do you know what Richard Belzer defined as 'The Big Lie?'
If you repeat something loud enough, often enough, eventually people believe it.
What fascinates me the most about all this is that you're not even trying to hide the fact that you and The First are both liars, The Muse.
Are you Muse, or The Muse?
It's like you got married and took his first name, The.
But listen to you, shiny britches, you said The First wanted the masses to love him, so he lied to them.
Then you said RK and I are all Middle America Duck Dynasty Anti Gay Red State people.
Why stop there? Why not call us both Republican Banker One Percent Anti Choice Woman Hating Tea Partiers who think all taxes should be zero and they can pay public employees with potluck lunches and candy bars.
I mean, if you're gonna make things up, really commit to it. But since we're living in sin with no immediate or future plans of getting married, do the family values on parade really qualify?
Actually, I have to take the blame, or the credit, however you look at it, for the The family and their accusations of homophobia. You see, RK doesn't wear makeup on a regular basis. He's endured me giving him goth face for industrial nights at Necromantic, but as a rule, he doesn't make himself up, and it's pretty safe to say he has no idea how to expertly apply it.
So when we were all gearing up for Unleashed and The First was doing his thing, I offhandedly commented that he really knew what he was doing with his application. That ankh just looks top notch every time.
Unless he's cheating with a stencil, and there's no harm in that. Art takes time!
But I happened to mention it, and then seeing you two together, I'm sorry Mrs. The, but your husband has a steadier hand than you. So I asked, I wonder if The First brought the makeup into the relationship, or if you taught him and the student simply surpassed the master.
I think you're not really as starry as you think, Muse.
If The First is better than all of us, I doubt he'd care about the opinions of the little people. If you were both better than all of us, I don't think you'd work so hard to refute the things said about you.
Congratulations on the million year anniversary, by the by. Is a million years the 'carbon' anniversary?
There is greatness in everyone, Muse. True greatness is in doing what makes you happy as long as it's not hurting anyone else? I love tending bar. I get to listen to loud music, meet interesting new people every day, and try to expand my mind with as many new facts as possible, learn about books to read, bands to listen to, and places to travel to.
Ironically, these are the same reasons that I love being part of the Empire.
RK and I are part of the Empire's promotional machine, we know that, we know we're making money for a large, multinational corporation and we do so in part because we know that more money for the Empire means more money for us.
It also means more money for the The family, for Cameron Cruise, for Malcolm Joseph Jones, for Aaron Jones, for Rocko Daymon, for Caitlyn Daymon, for Rezin, for Anarky if he ever comes back...
We don't get paid for the personal appearances. RK and I like to get out on the street and meet the fans face to face because we legitimately like them.
I know The First is the greatest of all time and you're the greatest and a half of all time, and you shouldn't have to sully yourselves with dealing with The Great Unwashed. I assumed that's why you guyses names are never on the appearance sheet.
That's very elitist of you. That's very non - subculture of you.
But that's me and RK. This is the Land of the Free and the Home of the Brave, and it's also the Land of Devo, P-Funk, and The Ramones. Inclusion, The Muse... not exclusion.
If The First only hangs out with his freakish subculture, then you imply that his freakish subculture are the only ones worthy of hanging out with him.
Isn't that just as exclusionary as you're accusing RK of being?
Me, based on the fact that I go out and mingle with anyone and everyone who has an interesting or dull tale to tell, means that I identify with everyone.
Even your freakish subculture. I can almost guarantee we've been to the same social events before RK started wrestling here, and simply never met.
And I don't subscribe to the Harvey Two - Face theory, The Muse. I think if you're a hero, you were always one, and if you suddenly become a villain you were just lying or manipulating.
Incidentally, my theory fits your explanation of The First to a T.
But by that token you're assuming that RK and I are the heroes. If you want to go that route, that's cool. You're wrong, but when has that ever stopped you from saying things?
RK and I have been cheered for the things we say and do. RK and I have been booed for the things we say and do. Neither reaction changed the fact that we say and do the same things with either reaction.
I don't hate you, The Muse. I don't even dislike you. Despite everything you and The First have said and done, it's a wasted emotion. I feel sorry for you.
By your own admission, everything you and The First say and do is directly or contrarily influenced by what you think the crowd thinks of you.
Last thing, The Muse... You and The First are older than time itself, or something? He's the oldest soul and the best at life and far above the rest of us or something, right?
How come he can't win his title defenses without a Plan B?