(FADEIN to a quiet room where none other than Harold A. Lumbourgh sits, having just finished a workout. He's wearing a tanktop that barely covers his enormous, musclebound frame. Noticeably absent are his glasses and nerdwear. He wears typical workout windbreaker pants. The gym around him is the latest in technology, with push-button weight changing and all-cable technology.)
HAL: "So I'm a pale imitation, am I, Jeff? Just a joke version of your buddy Hacker? Who, I suppose, is some kind of, uh, legend in your mind?
"Y'know, Jeff, you talk about how important it is to keep from being overconfident, but then you go ahead and explain how while I was learning about all my fancy nerd lingo, you were off fighting for state championships. Like anybody cares.
"Let me tell YOU something, you nobody. I don't care who trained you. I don't care what you think about the new Core i5's. And I CERTAINLY don't care that you are enough of a knuckle-dragger to think I would ever stop training my body OR my mind.
"What you call obsession I call a quest for truth. There is beauty in the baud... simplicity in the technology. Simply because you are incapable of understanding does not make it irrelevant.
"Quite the opposite, in fact.
"You talk about respecting your opponent and then you call me a big joke. I got a word for you, pal: hypocrite. You might have to go ahead and check out Dictionary.com and look that one up.
"Go on then, Jeff. Mock me from your ancient gym.
"You talk about pale, fat, underage nerds like they don't pay our salary, buddy. At least I know who my fans are, you arrogant jerk. Sure, maybe most of my fans have more than 4 level 80 toons in WoW, and sure, they probably even dressed up as Sylvannas... but hey: I'd rather they did something they cared about than sit back and mock what they don't understand.
"Jocks like you will never get it. You talk about passion but you have none. You can't see the beauty of an electron pulse traveling down the copper. The elegance of a resistor. The savage caress of a sine wave.
"And all those nerds out there, building you a better gym, a better car, a better way to deliver clean, efficient fuel.. you mock them.
"You assume this, you assume that. Perhaps you are simply incapable of scientific thought. Because you know nothing of me, you assume I'm some lifeless geek who cannot be reasoned with.
"You talk about the spirit of competition and dedication and all this snazzy stuff like I'm supposed to care.
"You, my friend, are nothing but a halfwit playing with a genius. And your buddy Hacker? He's just a Script Kiddie who downloaded AOHell and thought that made him leet. Well it doesn't. He's just a nobody like you.
"And when it comes time for Almost Live, you are going to learn a valuable lesson: just because you SAY you shouldn't underestimate your opponent doesn't mean you're smart enough to avoid doing it. I think you've proven that with your incoherent, illogical thoughts.
"At Almost Live, you will feel the embrace of Control-Alt-Delete. You will know that your process has crashed and burned, and I will reap your memory and return it to the source.
"See, Jeff.. it's not underestimating when you KNOW you're dealing with an idiot.
"It's just epic pwnage."
(FADEOUT to his smirk as he starts working out again.)