Sean Taylor
League Member
- Joined
- Sep 3, 2004
- Messages
- 220
- Points
- 0
- Age
- 43
- Location
- Kingston, Ontario
- Website
- www.geocities.com
(Vince is sitting in his office behind his desk. Chris Benoit and Edge walk in.)
Edge: You wanted to see us, Mr. McMahon?
Vince: Ah, Edge, Benoit. You two will be opening the show tonight. Brawl to the back and Eric will interrupt you and make your gimmick match for Backlash.
Edge: Last Man Standing?
Benoit: Last Man Standing?
Vince: Even better. Last . . . Man . . . Standing.
Benoit: (sarcastically) Brilliant, sir.
Edge: (not sarcastically) Ha ha! Yes!
(Benoit leaves. Edge goes to leave but Vince calls him back.)
Vince: Hey Edge, here is that list of married Raw divas that you asked for.
Edge: Thanks, Vinnie Mac! You rock!
(Edge leaves and Trish Stratus walks in.)
Trish: Vincie, I need a new male valet. Lita has Kane - and Edge every half hour for ten minutes.
Vince: I'm one step ahead of you. V-Man!
(Viscera walks in.)
Vince: Do you remember the vignettes between Chyna and Mark Henry?
Trish: Yeah.
Vince: Good. Go watch them and just re-enact them on camera.
Trish: Vincie, are you sure that's good for bin-ness?
Vince: (laughs and wipes a tear from his eye) "Bin-ness"? "Bin-ness"? I love it when white Canadian chicks try to talk like black American chicks.
(Trish and Viscera leave. On the way out, Viscera pinches Trish's ass.)
Trish: Hey! Just bin-ness!
(The Heartthrobs walk in.)
Vince: Ah gentlemen. Listen. I've heard that your gimmick is going over great in the indy scene and I don't want to change it . . . except that I want you guys to turn up the gay dial about sixteen notches.
Heartthrob 1: What do you mean?
Vince: Well walk out and dance down the aisle as if there's something coming out of your asses and wink at the male members in the audience as well as the guys they're attached to. I want to redo the Billy & Chuck thing again but do it right this time.
(They leave.)
Trish: (from outside the office) Hey! Just bin-ness!
(Mohammed Hassan and Davari walk in.)
Hassan: Mr. McMahon . . . I wanted to thank you . . . for giving me a match . . . against my childhood hero . . . Hulk Hogan . . . It will be great . . .
(Shawn Michaels walks in.)
Shawn: Dude, seriously. Learn to talk at a normal pace, will ya? ****ing guy!
Davari: &^^$%$^% &^% ^%^&% &^% ^%&^)(&@*& # # @ &(@*#&(@&#*@ *& #@*& Mohammed Hassan *(&(*#$&(@)(*$ $(# #( #*&$*(#& (#*&$*#&$#(*& &#($*& Hulk Hogan #%^# *#*&# * &#*&%*#& & *&#*&$ & *#&$ Shawn Michaels @(*$#()(!(#(*$ (@*$ $#*&$ *&# &$#*& #*&$#* && #&$ hot sweaty gay sex!
Shawn: Whoa, whoa. Did you just call me gay?
Davari: #&*&% *&$#%*&$%*& (*%& no.
(Shawn punches out Davari.)
Shawn: Liar.
("Real American" plays and everyone looks around to see if they can find where it is coming from. Hulk Hogan walks in pointing his finger and mouthing silent words. He walks up to Vince's desk, spins slowly, and rips off his shirt.)
Vince: That was quite the entrance into an office.
Hulk: Yeah, I know brother. Everybody wants to see it nowadays and it's just easier, dude.
Hassan: (wide-eyed) That was so cool.
Hulk: See? But Vince, do I really need to pose tonight? I'm starting to get older here, brother, and the pythons aren't as strong as they used to be.
Vince: It's MSG, Hulk. The fans will love it.
Hulk: Look, brother, it's bad enough that my final match, I have to team up with this jobber.
Shawn: Jobber? I've retired better wrestlers than you, pal.
Hulk: (turning to leave) Ok but this time, will you at least stick to the planned ending?
Shawn: (following Hogan out) Hey, what's that supposed to mean?
Voice: (from hallway) You can't do it! You can't do it! You can't do it!
(Chris Masters sticks his head into the room.)
Chris: None of you ****ers could break out of my Masterlock! Aha ha ha ha ha ha!
Vince: (to Hassan) Go kick his ass.
(They leave and Triple H and Ric Flair walk in.)
HHH: So the booking for the main event is set for tonight?
Vince: Yes, it is. But we have made some changes. After Batista comes in, he beats you down, and pulls JR on top of you for the pin.
HHH: (whinning) But I was supposed to beat him down. Then when Batista comes in, I was supposed to beat him down, then drag him to the parking lot, chain him to the ground like Ryan Reynolds in Blade Trinity - which is a great movie on DVD so you should but it - then I was supposed to get into a semi, step on the gas, run over Batista while Raw goes off the air. Next week, Batista comes out perfectly ok and we never again mention the vehicular homicide angle.
Vince: We'll do that next week.
HHH: Ok. Did you see all those insulting, nasty, and hate-filled comments Billy Gunn made? He called me egotistical and said I married Steph for power and not for love. He said that I was greedy and will do anything to keep people away from being the next mega-superstar.
Vince: It's true.
HHH: Oh sure but he didn't have to say it.
Vince: Oh, by the way, when you get backstage after your match, dump this on JR.
(Vince places a bucket on the desk filled with a mysterious yellow liquid.)
HHH: Oh! Dad! That stinks! What is that?
Vince: A weeks worth of my own personal urine. I figure since we're going to piss on JR's career and legacy as a well-respected member of the wrestling business, we might as well piss right on him as well.
Flair: Whoooooooooooo!
(End)
Edge: You wanted to see us, Mr. McMahon?
Vince: Ah, Edge, Benoit. You two will be opening the show tonight. Brawl to the back and Eric will interrupt you and make your gimmick match for Backlash.
Edge: Last Man Standing?
Benoit: Last Man Standing?
Vince: Even better. Last . . . Man . . . Standing.
Benoit: (sarcastically) Brilliant, sir.
Edge: (not sarcastically) Ha ha! Yes!
(Benoit leaves. Edge goes to leave but Vince calls him back.)
Vince: Hey Edge, here is that list of married Raw divas that you asked for.
Edge: Thanks, Vinnie Mac! You rock!
(Edge leaves and Trish Stratus walks in.)
Trish: Vincie, I need a new male valet. Lita has Kane - and Edge every half hour for ten minutes.
Vince: I'm one step ahead of you. V-Man!
(Viscera walks in.)
Vince: Do you remember the vignettes between Chyna and Mark Henry?
Trish: Yeah.
Vince: Good. Go watch them and just re-enact them on camera.
Trish: Vincie, are you sure that's good for bin-ness?
Vince: (laughs and wipes a tear from his eye) "Bin-ness"? "Bin-ness"? I love it when white Canadian chicks try to talk like black American chicks.
(Trish and Viscera leave. On the way out, Viscera pinches Trish's ass.)
Trish: Hey! Just bin-ness!
(The Heartthrobs walk in.)
Vince: Ah gentlemen. Listen. I've heard that your gimmick is going over great in the indy scene and I don't want to change it . . . except that I want you guys to turn up the gay dial about sixteen notches.
Heartthrob 1: What do you mean?
Vince: Well walk out and dance down the aisle as if there's something coming out of your asses and wink at the male members in the audience as well as the guys they're attached to. I want to redo the Billy & Chuck thing again but do it right this time.
(They leave.)
Trish: (from outside the office) Hey! Just bin-ness!
(Mohammed Hassan and Davari walk in.)
Hassan: Mr. McMahon . . . I wanted to thank you . . . for giving me a match . . . against my childhood hero . . . Hulk Hogan . . . It will be great . . .
(Shawn Michaels walks in.)
Shawn: Dude, seriously. Learn to talk at a normal pace, will ya? ****ing guy!
Davari: &^^$%$^% &^% ^%^&% &^% ^%&^)(&@*& # # @ &(@*#&(@&#*@ *& #@*& Mohammed Hassan *(&(*#$&(@)(*$ $(# #( #*&$*(#& (#*&$*#&$#(*& &#($*& Hulk Hogan #%^# *#*&# * &#*&%*#& & *&#*&$ & *#&$ Shawn Michaels @(*$#()(!(#(*$ (@*$ $#*&$ *&# &$#*& #*&$#* && #&$ hot sweaty gay sex!
Shawn: Whoa, whoa. Did you just call me gay?
Davari: #&*&% *&$#%*&$%*& (*%& no.
(Shawn punches out Davari.)
Shawn: Liar.
("Real American" plays and everyone looks around to see if they can find where it is coming from. Hulk Hogan walks in pointing his finger and mouthing silent words. He walks up to Vince's desk, spins slowly, and rips off his shirt.)
Vince: That was quite the entrance into an office.
Hulk: Yeah, I know brother. Everybody wants to see it nowadays and it's just easier, dude.
Hassan: (wide-eyed) That was so cool.
Hulk: See? But Vince, do I really need to pose tonight? I'm starting to get older here, brother, and the pythons aren't as strong as they used to be.
Vince: It's MSG, Hulk. The fans will love it.
Hulk: Look, brother, it's bad enough that my final match, I have to team up with this jobber.
Shawn: Jobber? I've retired better wrestlers than you, pal.
Hulk: (turning to leave) Ok but this time, will you at least stick to the planned ending?
Shawn: (following Hogan out) Hey, what's that supposed to mean?
Voice: (from hallway) You can't do it! You can't do it! You can't do it!
(Chris Masters sticks his head into the room.)
Chris: None of you ****ers could break out of my Masterlock! Aha ha ha ha ha ha!
Vince: (to Hassan) Go kick his ass.
(They leave and Triple H and Ric Flair walk in.)
HHH: So the booking for the main event is set for tonight?
Vince: Yes, it is. But we have made some changes. After Batista comes in, he beats you down, and pulls JR on top of you for the pin.
HHH: (whinning) But I was supposed to beat him down. Then when Batista comes in, I was supposed to beat him down, then drag him to the parking lot, chain him to the ground like Ryan Reynolds in Blade Trinity - which is a great movie on DVD so you should but it - then I was supposed to get into a semi, step on the gas, run over Batista while Raw goes off the air. Next week, Batista comes out perfectly ok and we never again mention the vehicular homicide angle.
Vince: We'll do that next week.
HHH: Ok. Did you see all those insulting, nasty, and hate-filled comments Billy Gunn made? He called me egotistical and said I married Steph for power and not for love. He said that I was greedy and will do anything to keep people away from being the next mega-superstar.
Vince: It's true.
HHH: Oh sure but he didn't have to say it.
Vince: Oh, by the way, when you get backstage after your match, dump this on JR.
(Vince places a bucket on the desk filled with a mysterious yellow liquid.)
HHH: Oh! Dad! That stinks! What is that?
Vince: A weeks worth of my own personal urine. I figure since we're going to piss on JR's career and legacy as a well-respected member of the wrestling business, we might as well piss right on him as well.
Flair: Whoooooooooooo!
(End)