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Beasts, Hunger, and A Broken Windham


League Member
Jun 1, 2007
"How bout we get somethin' real clear, big man?"

[Roll them cameras.]

[Make sure you lock them on Da Man, who's wearin' no shirt but some South Pole jeans and Tims on his feet. His blonde dreds flop loosely around his head as he moves it when he speaks. His eyes show a whole lot of focus as he stares at us through the lens of the camera. As he begins to speak, he points his finger at the camera...no not that one. That's what the verbiage is for.]

You walk around talkin' 'bout how the number one contendership to the Triple Crown championship is some kinda divine right, some kinda thing you get ta stick in yo' pocket and whip out at da club to impress the local ratchet ho into passin' ya yo' very own HERPIN.

Err, herpes. Sorry, I get dose two confused sometimes, yo. I'll get to dat particular festerin' sore in a moment.

Dis numba one contendership ain't some thing you can't hold onto like its only yours. Its a mindset. Its an attitude. Its a LIFESTYLE, homie. Its not a one an' done thing, its provin' each an' every time you step into dat ring dat you're at the front o' the line, an' dere aint NO ONE gon' tell ya otherwise.

For a li'l bit, I thought you had dat swagger to be da one an' only challenger to da Triple Crown title, at least until Ocho got the chance to whoop DAT ASS an' sent ya back ta Philly wit' ya tail between ya legs. Ya hit like an animal, man.

Problem is, you got a brain like an animal, too. A big dumb animal that rears back on its hind legs an' screams out as loud as it can, "Rawr! Fear me cause I've got big claws an' I'mma cut ya neck off! Fear me cause I got dis numba one contenda bone an' you can't have it!"

All well an' good, if someone's dumb enough ta charge in headfirst an' punch ya in da face. But a thinkin' man knows dat ya can't just run headlong at a dangerous animal an' expect ta come out like it ain't nothin'.

Ya make it think.

Ya bait it into a chase.

Ya make sure its not just standin' around growlin' an' smellin' like ass.

Ya run up an' grab dat thing it be holdin' so precious.

An' den you whip out dat AK an' blow its [NO AUDIO]in' chest cavity out.

You may think you deserve the number one contendership, dat you defendin' it from all o' us, but da reality is if anyone's defendin' it, its me, since I'm the first guy to pin ya in one-on-one competition since ya came back from whatever hibernation you was in.

An' at Reloaded, you ain't gon' have ta look real hard to find me. I'mma be right in ya eyesight, dancin' just out yo' reach until the moment is right.

An' when the moment is right, I'mma whoop DAT ASS so hard an' so fast dat you gon' spend a whole week trying too figure out what went wrong.

An' HERPIN? Time fo' you to shut the [NO AUDIO] up, li'l boy. Grown ups are talkin' over here...go back to the kiddie table an' we'll tell you when you're allowed to speak.

[Xavier takes a breath before continuing.]

Of course, bein' a number one contender also means dat one is constantly improvin'...constantly striving for self betterment. An' on dat front, I have myself another opportunity to show how much I've improved since RELOADED 19...by steppin' into da ring against the only man that can claim dey pinned my shoulders to da mat wit' legit skill an' not the help of barbed wire like some soon to be dead CANCEROUS [NO AUDIO] did at Random Rumble.

Dat's da goal here, Kay Two. For da second time in da New Frontier, the YOUNG LIONS, as dey callin' us, meet in da center o' da ring...albeit wit' a Kaiju an' a few more spare parts tossed in as well...to determine who is the NUMBER ONE CONTENDER to the TRIPLE-CROWN TITLE.

I don't plan on lettin' up. I don't plan on getting' my shoulders pinned one more time.

Then again, no one ever does. I'm sure ya ain't trainin' fo' da bes' most comfortable way ta get pinned either.

But dat loss...it made me hungry.

The prospect o' bein' da numba one contender for' dat TRIPLE CROWN TITLE makes me hungrier.

At Reloaded 21...I'mma come fo' my fill. I'mma come fo' somethin' I believe I deserve. But mos' important...I'm comin' ta prove I deserve it.

You believe different, Kay 2?

Come stop me if ya can. But you bes' not miss.

Cause Petey Dubs knows all about what happens if you miss.

[FLASH CUTTO: that highlight spot where Xavier Langston kicks Peter Windham in the chest at RANDOM RUMBLE.]

[FLASH CUTTO: Langston cutting his promo.]


Yes, Petey Dubs, I'm talkin' bout you. I'm talking' bout how every single time ya try to screw me o' mess wit' me, it blows up in ya face. Whether it be one-on-one, ringside brawl, o' even the ol' abuse the [NO AUDIO] outta yo' commish powers...sh[NO AUDIO], you can't even win a food fight 'gainst me. An' now, one short show after Teddy snapped yo' neck back an' Omega Zero froze ya at ABSOLUTE ZERO, you got da bright idea to insert yo' self into dis match?


[A small smiles creeps up the left side of Xavier's face.]

You bes' believe dat even if you an' yo' posse was on da same page, you'd have NO CHANCE o' gettin' past Kerry, Teddy, o' myself. Truth is, you fixin' ta get yo career snapped off. You..,an' yo' two friends, if dey dumb enough to get directly involved...is in fo' a world o' pain an' sufferin'.

I guess, in a way I should thank ya. I mean, if ya hadn't stepped into da path o' the Kaiju headfirst, we wouldn't be in dis situation ta begin wit'.

But hey, its not like I needed ya help ta prove I could beat Teddy the A.

I don't need ya help ta avenge my only clean loss ta Kay 2.

An' I don't need ya help in becomin' the numba one contenda to da Triple Crown title.

I'mma whoop DAT ASS all by myself.

Because I AM DA MAN...

[Catchphrase pause.]



[And with a burst of static, we cut to black.]


Where's my money, Chad?
Jul 3, 1997
The Silk Road
(FADEIN: Commissioner PETER WINDHAM is beside the dumpster in back of Long John Silver's, enjoying their free fish from 11:00 - 3:00pm deal)

PW: Hey, DA CAN, time to wake up and smell the yeast infection. You are a BUM. A certified, nationally accredited, clinically tested, peer-reviewed BUM with a capital UM! You, Kerry, Teddy, and O'Myself, that Irish bastard, aren't even fit to join my Job Squad.

Did I have the best showing at Random Rumble? NO. But to be honest? I showed up fat. I'm not proud of that fact, but there it is. PW had his fill of the good life, and yeah, I FEASTED and showed up at the RR so fat, I'd give Dracula diabetes.

But mark my words, Can. I am THREE TAE BO TAPES away from kicking the shit out of you and your dumb friends. This is MY prison yard. When I tell you to give me your corn bread, YOU GIVE ME YOUR CORN BREAD! Or get corn HOLED...hypothetically corn holed!


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