Card is up.

[Stalker]

CHECK IT! http://www.fwrestling.com/showthread.php?22663-Chain-Reaction-8!&p=88003#post88003

Enjoy.

 

[The Minstrel]

SPOILER ALERT........
























Overall - Great lead-in card to Surge - lots of development, some well-written matches, segment work is very strong

Second Opinions - Good lead in segment - Paz very active tonight

A'faa v. Dusty Rodgers - Nice piece for Whisky - challenge to MLM presents some interesting consequences/possibilities at Surge

Minstrel Takes Action - c'mon, how could you go wrong with a Who's the Boss reference?

Patton v. Nasr - Patton on a bit of roll - well-written match, Patton comes off extremely polished in ring

Mary Lynn Responds - MLM answers the challenge and imposes a condition on the match at Surge, which is extremely intriguing cannot wait to see where this one is headed

Niles v. Spooky Doom - Good match would have liked to see it run a little longer since both guys put forth good work, but a nonetheless it was back and forth and a good debut for both guys - especially Spooky who looks strong in the early-going

Derrick Allen v. Mr. Wrestling VII - Match was a squash, the real meat occurred afterwards - the segment was very well written and the bad blood between these two is at its boiling point - still drama in the air as we do not know if Douglas will be cleared for Surge.

Kuroyama v. Waltz - Match was an entertaining read - first time I got to see Kerry in action - enjoyed the segment afterwards and I thought thr crowd reaction was particularly good at the end as that was what you thought reading it.

The Minstrel v. Go-Go Spectacular - No comment - my match.

Main Event... Oh Wait Retribution - Douglas and Allen all over this card - great addition, nice to see Douglas strike back particularly heading into Surge, adds a little extra gasoline to what is already a blaze.

Seti v. Mateo - Match was extremely well-written, great action on both sides, the presence/interjection of Perfection, match also did a nice job with character development aside from being an entertaining read. Should be interesting as we head into Surge to see how it all shakes out.

 

[Stalker]

Thank you for the praise good sir. More feedback yes?

 

[SpookyDoom]

Thank you for the praise good sir. More feedback yes?

Gonna try my hand...

But first of all, I've never watched an issue of Supernatural. No idea what
it's about or how it's connected to a lil' Grim Reaper thingy like Spooky
Doom. Sorry.

I like the Whisky vs Mayweather feud but Whisky is acting like the world's chicken**** (accusing the face of cheating when he cheats more than anyone) in that he looks like he could physically dominate Mary-Lynn at any moment but just prefers to mouth off for the sake of mouthing off. I think the feud would work better were Showtime RP a smaller character.

Nasr-Patton is my match. Glad it comes off as somewhat technical because in
the absence of anything to promote, I can still promote good wrestling.

Spooky's match: commas everywhere! I'm gonna have to work my character so
that he comes off as the hardest hitting guy in the world (see latest
ULTRATITLE promo) and less like the guy that runs around the ring a lot and
gets his offence caught all the early portion of the match or else people
won't take me seriously.

I was expecting more wrestling from Mr. Wrestling. Go figure. The action
from the match itself was rather confusing and as Minstrel said, the real
meat is the set-up to the feud. Dang, now I realize I need a feud. Some
backstager with Go-Go would be the obvious choice but the character is busy
enough as it is.

Kuro vs Waltz: Waltz getting the jobber entrance seals this (though I'm guilty of using the jobber entrance shtick too). I wanted to see more banter/more description of moves/flow rather than have the description talk about "the flow" of the match.

GoGo vs Minstrel: Short, although well described. Q.: The Pele kick hits what's behind you, if the ref confronts Go Go, how can he be hit by it?

Match of the night belongs to the main event. I'm also losing some bits of the conversation: don't assume readers know everything that's going on in the card? Who's the yellow guy? Is it Vizier? Since he'sa heel, shouldn't Anderson support him?

 

[User Poets]

Match of the night belongs to the main event. I'm also losing some bits of the conversation: don't assume readers know everything that's going on in the card? Who's the yellow guy? Is it Vizier? Since he'sa heel, shouldn't Anderson support him?

Will give more specifics when I'm home from NYC, but to answer this - Vizier punched Anderson out after his debut match. He's "the yellow guy" because he's Egyptian.

 

[Stalker]

Gonna try my hand...

But first of all, I've never watched an issue of Supernatural. No idea what
it's about or how it's connected to a lil' Grim Reaper thingy like Spooky
Doom. Sorry.

Basically it's a show where two brothers hunt down supernatural beings and creatures. Just something funny I thought of when I saw your character. More to come!

 

[SpookyDoom]

Oh, so it's Ghostbusters for the year 2000!

 

[RStrawsma]

Kuro vs Waltz: Waltz getting the jobber entrance seals this (though I'm guilty of using the jobber entrance shtick too). I wanted to see more banter/more description of moves/flow rather than have the description talk about "the flow" of the match.

For purposes of developing my talent, could you elaborate on this? When I wrote this, I was mimicking the style of short form matches on previous cards.

 

[Showtime]

Narm. I posted a big long thing of how much I loved all things, and then it didn't post. Again.

Long story short, good card, as always.

 

[The Minstrel]

For purposes of developing my talent, could you elaborate on this? When I wrote this, I was mimicking the style of short form matches on previous cards.

Spooky's just a hater

 

[BWade]

Dictated, not read ...

Overall - Decent show, I felt 7 was much better though.

Pardon my opinions and delivery of them...

 

[SpookyDoom]

For purposes of developing my talent, could you elaborate on this? When I wrote this, I was mimicking the style of short form matches on previous cards.

Instead of how someone slapped a few holds or talking about the rhythm of a match, write the holds as they are actually happening. Watching wrestling since I was little trained me to look out for specific tropes and little pleases me more than recognizing them in an ewrestling writen format. Want to control a headlock? Check out Shawn Michaels vs Million Dollar Man. Waltz has Kerry in a headlock? Have Kerry try to shoot Waltz into the ropes and be denied, Waltz grounding Kerry with the side headlock so it doesn't happen again, only for Kerry to roll over Waltz with the tights for a pin! You show the wrestling mastery of the elder Stephen Waltz on account that he's controlling the headlock despite everything else, while Kuroyama plucks it out using every trick to escape the hold and making Stephen regret the strategy.

If you want to draw conclusions for the reader, use the announcers (I guess that's what I meant about "banter"): is it Kerry who's the student of Terry? Well that's something the announcers should remind us every match; Lord knows Michael Cole repeats every plot point every show. The announcers tell the story about why that matters and such. I know I'm just getting into the IWF so the more exposition on character's backstory, the better.

I know this is all short-ish form but a more "relaxed" storytelling (with more breaks, two sentences/a sequence per paragraph) makes for easier reading and allows me to concentrate on the wrestling sequence.

As for BWade's comment about Spooky: it's a question of mass times acceleration making force (ooo, better use that for my next promo). Spooky has mass: he's short and built. Spooks has acceleration in spades, that's never been in question. Have him run the ropes and hit the other guy: hard hitting force.

About the pele kick: what I said was that if the ref confronted Go-Go, how did she hit him with a kick that hits behind her? Maybe an extra sentence where she turns away, seemingly agreeing with the ref's position, then BAM! Pele kick!

 

[JLevinson]

Unfortunately, due to an increased workload I have been pretty much unable to leave the kind of detailed feedback I'd like to, but I really did enjoy the card and found it thoroughly entertaining from start to finish. I thought the matches had a pretty good ebb and flow to them and overall I thought this was, perhaps, the best card so far (or at least the best card I've read since I've gotten here).

Just wanted to say thanks to all of the matchwriters for doing a terrific job and sorry I have been unable to do much beyond RPing at this point.