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Castor Strife finds the draft


Where's my money, Chad?
Jul 3, 1997
The Silk Road
(FADEIN: CASTOR V. STRIFE sitting at his laptop. On his desk are scattered DVDs and a mock Oscar trophy, the exception being that the little gold man is wearing a gas mask)

CASTOR: ...let's see, Google...OK, (begins typing) ...desperate co-eds...either gender...broke...looking to...pay...for college...but broke...and...want to...break...into film. (hits enter)

Hmm, odd. The first result is some mock wrestling fantasy draft...REAAAAALLY? Not that I care or anything, but, um...no harm indulging myself a bit. (clicks)

Clearly I was chosen in the earlier rounds; this shouldn't take long.

(reads on...)

No, not the first round...surely I was chosen in the second...

Apparently not. Third? (reads) No. Fourth? KIDDING ME! How dare these cyber mongoloids snub me!

(reads on)

105?!!! A????

Well who in the hell was chosen before me?

KING BLUEBERRY?! Who...in the name of Kronos...is King Blueberry?

Housefly? Surely you jest...this can-NOT be an actual person...

Kevin Kassidy Kenwright? Oh...that is witty indeed, sir. Bravo to you! I bet you sat at home all night thinking that one up, and when lightning finally struck you jumped from your chair exclaiming, "YES! YES! THAT'S IT! Let's see them deny me a main event push NOW!" I bet whatever EverQuest addict drafted you also thinks my initials are some clever form of corporate advertising..

Javid Dones? Seriously? Seriously...? What was he...relevant for a week...13 years ago? I'm almost shocked he hasn't wound up in one of my films. I assure you, Javid, when I get that desperate for talent, I'll have my people call your people.

Well...(sighs)...looks like this draft didn't go so swimmingly for me. When will they understand my-WHAT??!!! CAMERON CRUISE???!!

(Turns and looks at the camera)

Now that is just LOW...

I'm afraid my ego just can't handle this type of snubbery. (Closes the browser)

I'll have my staff set up an official "Castor V. Strife Productions Presents...DRAFT!" And THEN we'll see who gets snubbed! HA!



I spoil things.
Jan 1, 2000
Merced, California USA
(Somewhere at a bar in Baltimore, Jared Wells and Cameron Cruise get served beer, give the camera a double-number-one-finger salute and laugh much like Dr. Evil and Scott from Austin Powers as they toast beers.)

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