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[CD] On A Stupendous Leg of Granite, Discovered Standing by Itself in the Deserts of


League Member
Jan 1, 2000
(Fade into: Golem. He is sitting in a chair in his study, thumbing through a book. He doesn't look up, but begins talking to no one in particular.)

Golem: Do you all know the story of Ramses II? He was a mighty king of Egypt who boasted in the face of death. He believed that he would be immortalized, living forever through his treasures. Well, that was well and good for a few hundred years, but sandstorms make fools of us all and eventually there was really nothing left. Nothing but remnants, bearing his boasts which now seemed almost comical as they adorned his ruins. Horace Smith and Percy Bysshe Shelley decided they should hold a contest amongst themselves to write a poem regarding the scene. Shelley clearly won, as the poem Ozymandias became an international hit. It's the inspiration for why I am here today. Decent poems, but frankly, they both miss the mark. They do not understand the strength of Ramses II, Ozymandias, the King of Kings. Here is how it should've went:

Away in the desert there lies a tale
Of a broken leg and a fallen God:
hailed “Ozymandias, the King of Kings”.
Tumbled from Babylon, nothing remains,
Empty promises of eternal life.
But what strength can hold o’er the vast expanse?
Will time crush all power and greatness? No.
Memories the eternal wellsprings flux:
“If anyone would know how great I am
and where I lie, let him surpass my works."
Ozymandias has works yet undone,
New tales to be told of his resplendence.
Immortal yet, our King of Kings remains
Untamed by age, sand, or antiquity.

Golem: It's an original piece by yours truly inspired by the original works, but you should understand the difference. Smith and Shelley both saw the broken statue leg and thought that Ramses II’s bragging was wrong and that Ramses II lost his immortality. In that moment, they immortalized him in their poetry. Ramses II has strength long after his death, long after his original works crumbled into the sand. And do you know why? It’s because Ramses II left you with a lasting memory. His works embodied his immortality, but they were not his immortality.

(Golem turns towards the camera.)

Golem: Why is any of this relevant, short of an old fashioned poetry jam? It’s because Golem is immortal. When the time comes that our careers are specks of sand returned to the hourglass of time, no one will count your precious belts and your win-loss records and your decoder rings. None of that will matter at all. What will matter are the memories you leave. People will write about Golem long after any man can claim to have seen him wrestle. I will make you remember me. I will make all of you remember me. If Golem has to break everyone in the locker room, it will happen. My works where I will etch my boasts are the fallen bodies of my opponents. This isn't a retirement tour for me. This is my ascent into immortality.

(Fade to black.)
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