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"Champ Speaks"


The Godfather
Staff member
Mar 17, 1988
(Rudy Seitzer is sitting on a dark brown leather couch in a large den. As the picture pulls out, viewers may recognize it as the den in Hornet's Greensboro home. In years past, this might have been called a "Champ Speaks" segment. Now, the iconography simply says "CSWA Up-Close With Rudy Seitzer.)

RS: Thanks for welcoming us back in your home, Hornet.

H: I wasn't given a choice whether to do the interview or not, Rudy, so I figured I might as well not have to leave the house to do it. Nothing personal against you, of course.

RS: That's a phrase that's popped up quite a bit again recently in your lexicon...

H: If you mean I've been using it in my promos towards Aho and Powers, you're right.

RS: So what exactly do you mean when you say 'it's nothing personal?' It was a great tagline for ya a couple of years ago, but...

H: It means what it says, Rudy. I've got nothing personal against Evan Aho. I don't even have a personal vendetta against Kevin Powers at the moment. The only reason Stanley and I even have beef is because Teri decided to try and play him.

RS: Beef? You mean like the dog food you slammed in his face.

H: Now you're just trying to stir something up, Rudy.

RS: Actually, that was just an awful attempt at a pun. This is trying to stir something up. (Rudy hits a button on a remote and a monitor begins to show a clip from Hornet vs. Eli Flair at the recent CSWA SHOWTIME in Dallas.)

BB: Eli...INVERSE DDT! It’s over! Hornet simply cannot take anymore. The cover, Worthington’s count is coming. ONE..............

SB: Uh oh...the f....

BB: TWO...........THREE!!!! He’s done it! Eli Flair has beaten Hornet!

(Fans pop out of their minds.)

SB: (singing) It’s a beautiful day, ba ba baha.

BB: What were you about to say before?

SB: Absolutely nothing. I saw nothing!

BB: Look at that ferocious grin on Eli's face. How many years of self-doubt has this former CSWA World Champion lived through? With detractors saying he was never quite good enough...or never as good as the other Claimstakers. Well, those detractors may be saying Flair has laid claim to the next step here!

(The fans turn their attention to the aisle. Another ref runs like the wind to the ring.)

BB: We’ve got another ref down here. Don’t understand what this is about.

SB: There’s a shock.

(The other ref, early 20s, about 5’8,modestly built and spastic confers lividly with Worthington.)

BB: I don’t believe this. This ref is saying Hornet’s foot was under the bottom rope!

SB: Like I said...I saw nothing. If this thing somehow ends in a draw, I again standby my plan to include three judges at every match.

(Worthington and the spastic ref argue. Worthington shakes his head, he’s firm in his decision. Eli joins the argument as well. Hornet slowly regains some energy.)

BB: Ohmygawd!! This guy just laid out Senior Ref Ben Worthington! He’s rolling Ben out of the ring....you’ve got to be kidding, he’s calling for the bell. This match will restart.

H: And just what is it you wanna know, Rudy?

RS: I think it's obvious. Eli had the match won... and then this 'mystery' ref comes out and saves the day for you.

H: Saves the day? First up, Rudy, take a look at the footage, my leg was on the rope. As far as the 'mystery' ref... I still don't have any idea who he is. Maybe you need to ask Mark Windham.

RS: Mark? What are you saying?

H: I'm saying that I didn't ask any spastic little ref wanna-be to come down to ringside. I'm pretty sure Eli didn't either. So if I didn't, and Eli didn't... well, there was only one other person who got involved with that match.

RS: Mark Windham...

H: Mark, or Sunshine Del Payne. They go together like rancid milk and cookies.

RS: That's uncalled for.

H: What's uncalled for, Rudy, is the insinuation that I had some punk kid come out to save my neck...

RS: You told the man to hook on the Scorpion Deathlock!

H: Who am I to stop the kid from having a good time? He was the one that went up top and wanted to execute one of the ugliest Shooting Star Presses in history. I just wanted him to get it right.

RS: You really expect me...us... to believe that you had nothing to do...

H: I didn't make the lights go out, Rudy. I didn't make a replay of my 'forced retirement' speech appear. It's not something I think about on a daily basis... not FISH FUND XI, not GUNS, and certainly not Mark Windham.

RS: So there's no remorse about 'leaving Mark Windham to the wolves' as you said back in 1996?

H: I may have been forced to leave Windham to the wolves back then, but it was the aliens that got him. Windham's been a living X-File since then... running around in the same trenchcoat babbling about "Awakening" this and "Awakening" that. He's turned his whole life upside down and his whole family's lives upside down.

RS: So you don't think your affair with his wife had anything to do with that?

H: You're starting to make me angry, Rudy... and I don't think either of us wants that. I've got one thing to say about all that... Troy Windham made those accusations thirty seconds after finding out he and Mark were actually brothers. I believe he spouted off the first hurtful thing he could come up with.

RS: So you're saying you didn't have an affair with Jewels Windham?

H: I'm saying that I tried to help Jewels through a rough time while her husband decided he had more important things to do. But did I have an affair? Absolutely not.

RS: And speaking of affairs, that brings us to Poison Ivy and Teri Melton.

H: Don't cross the line, Rudy.

RS: You and Ivy have had an on-again off-again relationship for years. Is the same true with Teri?

H: I'm not gonna go any deeper into my personal life than I already have. You've heard all I've had to say about my 'relationship' with Teri...and what I've said has been the truth. If you wanna know more, than maybe you oughta go buy the latest tabloid to hear what she's spouting next.

RS: So you're saying this is all a ploy by...

H: What I'm saying is that whatever goes on between Teri and I should stay between Teri and I. She chose to make it public in an effort to hurt Ivy McGinnis.

RS: And Ivy's not around anymore.

H: Way to state the obvious. Wouldn't you like to talk about how I'm aiming to win the CSWA World Title at ANNIVERSARY?

RS: Just one other question before we change the subject. Do you believe the baby Teri Melton's carrying is yours?

H: Get out...

RS: We can go to another topic if you don't want to...


RS: Like I said, we'll just move on to ANNIVERSARY....

H: I SAID....GET.....OUT!

(Hornet stands up abruptly, almost dumping Rudy out of his seat. Hornet rips off his lapel mic, throwing it at Rudy before leaving the den and slamming the heavy oak doors.)

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