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Chores Before UNIFIED Titles

D

DannyGilbert

Guest
Time: Right now!

Date/Place: Jerry Small's house in Greensboro, NC. Mike's bedroom.

(The lens opens and our story begins with a tight shot on Mike's strained face. Small's eyes bludge, sweat covers his face. Mike turns the colors of the rainbow as he lays on a weight bench in his room, trying in vain to lift about 190 lbs off his chest. A friend, Cain Dawson, sits on the edge of Mike's bed reading a back issue of the CSWA TRIBUNE.)

Cain Dawson: You're nutso, man. These guys are going to kill you.

Mike Small: Spot!

Cain Dawson: Check out this cover story picture on Eli Flair. He's exactly the reason why you don't go to jail. Can you imagine sharing a cell with THAT man?

Mike Small: SPOT!

Cain Dawson. The article says he's cool though. I've read as much on the fwrestling.com. I've seen you do a lot of stupid ****, but this is the highwater mark for sure.

Mike Small: (choking) Souaouaoju;lik;lh.

Cain Dawson: What if HORNET is there? That'd be psych. You're going to be in a room with HORNET. And somehow you haven't been laid yet. Explain that one to me.

Jerry Small: (off camera) Michael!

(Mike kicks his legs in the year, he's foaming at the mouth.)

Jerry Small: Michael Small!!

Cain Dawson: (flips a page in the magazine) Dude, your dad is calling you.

(Jerry Small busts into his son's bedroom.)

Jerry Small: Did you not hear me calling you, boy?

(Mike finds the strength to get the weights off him. Tossing them to the side. He's near death. Really. There's a white light coming through the window.)

Mike Small: I....I.... (cries)

Jerry Small: Quit horsing around before you tear up my house. The garbage needs to be taken out. Now.

Cain Dawson: Mr. Small, UNIFIED champions don't take out the garbage. It's not written anywhere here (holds up the Tribune) but I'm sure they have like people and stuff to do that for them.

Jerry Small: Oh really?

Cain Dawson: Yeah. Common knowledge really.

Jerry Small: Well when he becomes UNIFIED Champion you can start taking it out for him. Until then, Michael get busy. (Mr. Small leaves the room.)

Cain Dawson: Dude, your dad is awesome. You can't even get him off your balls and now you're throwing yourself in a ring with Eli Flair, Dan Ryan, and Troy Windham. I see this turning out well.

Mike Small: (breathing heavy) Back to a previous point. (Mike sits up on the bench, carefully.) How do you know I haven't been laid?

Cain Dawson: I read your myspace page. Yeah, the phrase "blanket honesty" is a double-edge sword.

Mike Small: (smiles) When I become UNIFIED World Champion I'll have my choice of dames.

Cain Dawson: Dames? Did you just say dames?

Mike Small: I wonder if Lindsay Troy will return my calls.

Cain Dawson: I'd love to hear that conversation. (Cain turns at looks at a life-size "Queen Of The Ring" poster on Mike's bedroom wall.) "Lindsay I've always been a big fan. So many nights I've wanted you, but never knew how to tell you."

(Mike gets up, walks over to his bedroom window and looks out.)

Mike Small: Don't be jealous. I might even throw a little action your way.

Cain Dawson: Wow Weee. Meaningful erections again, awesome. Not since my last wet dream...

Mike Small: (gazing out the window.) You think she'll show up? On the 27th?

Cain Dawson: Who?

Mike Small: Jennifer.

Cain Dawson: Of course. She's majoring in English so she can fall in love with her boyhood neighborhood stalker who's about to get his ass kicked by 200 other men. It's the classic American story.

Mike Small. Cain, I really think I can win!

Cain Dawson: And Canada actually has an Army. On the importance scale...both are a zero.

Mike Small: Troy Windham said he's under lock and key for the next three weeks to train for this. No hookers, imported cheeses, or sugar coated cerals.

Cain Dawson: Your point being?

Mike Small: There's no way he can prepare for me! Hell even I don't know what my moves are!

Cain Dawson: You don't have any!

Mike Small: Well... (Mike throws himself on his bed) I've got three weeks to learn. Break out the CSWA Best Of ANNIVERSARY DVDs and order Papa Johns. There's work to be done.

Jerry Small: (off camera) MIKE!!

Cain Dawson: And it better begin now....

 
Last edited:

GreggG

Moderator
Joined
Jan 1, 2000
Messages
810
Points
18
DannyGilbert said:
Time: Right now!

Date/Place: Jerry Small's house in Greensboro, NC. Mike's bedroom.

(The lens opens and our story begins with a tight shot on Mike's strained face. Small's eyes bludge, sweat covers his face. Mike turns the colors of the rainbow as he lays on a weight bench in his room, trying in vain to lift about 190 lbs off his chest. A friend, Cain Dawson, sits on the edge of Mike's bed reading a back issue of the CSWA TRIBUNE.)

Cain Dawson: You're nutso, man. These guys are going to kill you.

Mike Small: Spot!

Cain Dawson: Check out this cover story picture on Eli Flair. He's exactly the reason why you don't go to jail. Can you imagine sharing a cell with THAT man?

Mike Small: SPOT!

Cain Dawson. The article says he's cool though. I've read as much on the fwrestling.com. I've seen you do a lot of stupid ****, but this is the highwater mark for sure.

Mike Small: (choking) Souaouaoju;lik;lh.

Cain Dawson: What if HORNET is there? That'd be psych. You're going to be in a room with HORNET. And somehow you haven't been laid yet. Explain that one to me.

Jerry Small: (off camera) Michael!

(Mike kicks his legs in the year, he's foaming at the mouth.)

Jerry Small: Michael Small!!

Cain Dawson: (flips a page in the magazine) Dude, your dad is calling you.

(Jerry Small busts into his son's bedroom.)

Jerry Small: Did you not hear me calling you, boy?

(Mike finds the strength to get the weights off him. Tossing them to the side. He's near death. Really. There's a white light coming through the window.)

Mike Small: I....I.... (cries)

Jerry Small: Quit horsing around before you tear up my house. The garbage needs to be taken out. Now.

Cain Dawson: Mr. Small, UNIFIED champions don't take out the garbage. It's not written anywhere here (holds up the Tribune) but I'm sure they have like people and stuff to do that for them.

Jerry Small: Oh really?

Cain Dawson: Yeah. Common knowledge really.

Jerry Small: Well when he becomes UNIFIED Champion you can start taking it out for him. Until then, Michael get busy. (Mr. Small leaves the room.)

Cain Dawson: Dude, your dad is awesome. You can't even get him off your balls and now you're throwing yourself in a ring with Eli Flair, Dan Ryan, and Troy Windham. I see this turning out well.

Mike Small: (breathing heavy) Back to a previous point. (Mike sits up on the bench, carefully.) How do you know I haven't been laid?

Cain Dawson: I read your myspace page. Yeah, the phrase "blanket honesty" is a double-edge sword.

Mike Small: (smiles) When I become UNIFIED World Champion I'll have my choice of dames.

Cain Dawson: Dames? Did you just say dames?

Mike Small: I wonder if Lindsay Troy will return my calls.

Cain Dawson: I'd love to hear that conversation. (Cain turns at looks at a life-size "Queen Of The Ring" poster on Mike's bedroom wall.) "Lindsay I've always been a big fan. So many nights I've wanted you, but never knew how to tell you."

(Mike gets up, walks over to his bedroom window and looks out.)

Mike Small: Don't be jealous. I might even throw a little action your way.

Cain Dawson: Wow Weee. Meaningful erections again, awesome. Not since my last wet dream...

Mike Small: (gazing out the window.) You think she'll show up? On the 27th?

Cain Dawson: Who?

Mike Small: Jennifer.

Cain Dawson: Of course. She's majoring in English so she can fall in love with her boyhood neighborhood stalker who's about to get his ass kicked by 200 other men. It's the classic American story.

Mike Small. Cain, I really think I can win!

Cain Dawson: And Canada actually has an Army. On the importance scale...both are a zero.

Mike Small: Troy Windham said he's under lock and key for the next three weeks to train for this. No hookers, imported cheeses, or sugar coated cerals.

Cain Dawson: Your point being?

Mike Small: There's no way he can prepare for me! Hell even I don't know what my moves are!

Cain Dawson: You don't have any!

Mike Small: Well... (Mike throws himself on his bed) I've got three weeks to learn. Break out the CSWA Best Of ANNIVERSARY DVDs and order Papa Johns. There's work to be done.

Jerry Small: (off camera) MIKE!!

Cain Dawson: And it better begin now....


(CUT TO: Troy Windham, sitting in his state-of-the-art television studio at his North Shore Oahu Compound. He's cradling his CSWA Unified Championship.)

TROY: Hey, Mike Small... welcome to the greatest day of your life. Troy Windham, the CSWA Unified Champion, the man who at the end of Gold Rush will have his name cemented as the greatest wrestler who has ever lived, has mentioned your name!

But before you cream your Underoos... just hear me out for one second. Mike Small, I have a proposition for you. You see, you can ask anyone in the sport. I am a benevolent god, a giving man. And oen of the things I have always strived for is to ensure that this industry has a generation after me, so it can continue to prosper and grow.

Mike Small, I know you're dreaming a big dream here. But I have the proposition of a LIFETIME for you.

I'll have my agent get to you, right now, two round-trip plane tickets, so you and your friend can come and spend a few days at the North Shore Oahu compound with me. I'll help get you into shape, teach you some moves, and then I will hopefully see you in the final ring, where the King of This Generation will do battle against you... the person I will annoint as the leader of his generation!

Be on the lookout for those tickets, Mike... because I'm on the lookout for you! (FTB)
 

GreggG

Moderator
Joined
Jan 1, 2000
Messages
810
Points
18
DannyGilbert said:
Time: Right now!

Date/Place: Jerry Small's house in Greensboro, NC. Mike's bedroom.

(The lens opens and our story begins with a tight shot on Mike's strained face. Small's eyes bludge, sweat covers his face. Mike turns the colors of the rainbow as he lays on a weight bench in his room, trying in vain to lift about 190 lbs off his chest. A friend, Cain Dawson, sits on the edge of Mike's bed reading a back issue of the CSWA TRIBUNE.)

Cain Dawson: You're nutso, man. These guys are going to kill you.

Mike Small: Spot!

Cain Dawson: Check out this cover story picture on Eli Flair. He's exactly the reason why you don't go to jail. Can you imagine sharing a cell with THAT man?

Mike Small: SPOT!

Cain Dawson. The article says he's cool though. I've read as much on the fwrestling.com. I've seen you do a lot of stupid ****, but this is the highwater mark for sure.

Mike Small: (choking) Souaouaoju;lik;lh.

Cain Dawson: What if HORNET is there? That'd be psych. You're going to be in a room with HORNET. And somehow you haven't been laid yet. Explain that one to me.

Jerry Small: (off camera) Michael!

(Mike kicks his legs in the year, he's foaming at the mouth.)

Jerry Small: Michael Small!!

Cain Dawson: (flips a page in the magazine) Dude, your dad is calling you.

(Jerry Small busts into his son's bedroom.)

Jerry Small: Did you not hear me calling you, boy?

(Mike finds the strength to get the weights off him. Tossing them to the side. He's near death. Really. There's a white light coming through the window.)

Mike Small: I....I.... (cries)

Jerry Small: Quit horsing around before you tear up my house. The garbage needs to be taken out. Now.

Cain Dawson: Mr. Small, UNIFIED champions don't take out the garbage. It's not written anywhere here (holds up the Tribune) but I'm sure they have like people and stuff to do that for them.

Jerry Small: Oh really?

Cain Dawson: Yeah. Common knowledge really.

Jerry Small: Well when he becomes UNIFIED Champion you can start taking it out for him. Until then, Michael get busy. (Mr. Small leaves the room.)

Cain Dawson: Dude, your dad is awesome. You can't even get him off your balls and now you're throwing yourself in a ring with Eli Flair, Dan Ryan, and Troy Windham. I see this turning out well.

Mike Small: (breathing heavy) Back to a previous point. (Mike sits up on the bench, carefully.) How do you know I haven't been laid?

Cain Dawson: I read your myspace page. Yeah, the phrase "blanket honesty" is a double-edge sword.

Mike Small: (smiles) When I become UNIFIED World Champion I'll have my choice of dames.

Cain Dawson: Dames? Did you just say dames?

Mike Small: I wonder if Lindsay Troy will return my calls.

Cain Dawson: I'd love to hear that conversation. (Cain turns at looks at a life-size "Queen Of The Ring" poster on Mike's bedroom wall.) "Lindsay I've always been a big fan. So many nights I've wanted you, but never knew how to tell you."

(Mike gets up, walks over to his bedroom window and looks out.)

Mike Small: Don't be jealous. I might even throw a little action your way.

Cain Dawson: Wow Weee. Meaningful erections again, awesome. Not since my last wet dream...

Mike Small: (gazing out the window.) You think she'll show up? On the 27th?

Cain Dawson: Who?

Mike Small: Jennifer.

Cain Dawson: Of course. She's majoring in English so she can fall in love with her boyhood neighborhood stalker who's about to get his ass kicked by 200 other men. It's the classic American story.

Mike Small. Cain, I really think I can win!

Cain Dawson: And Canada actually has an Army. On the importance scale...both are a zero.

Mike Small: Troy Windham said he's under lock and key for the next three weeks to train for this. No hookers, imported cheeses, or sugar coated cerals.

Cain Dawson: Your point being?

Mike Small: There's no way he can prepare for me! Hell even I don't know what my moves are!

Cain Dawson: You don't have any!

Mike Small: Well... (Mike throws himself on his bed) I've got three weeks to learn. Break out the CSWA Best Of ANNIVERSARY DVDs and order Papa Johns. There's work to be done.

Jerry Small: (off camera) MIKE!!

Cain Dawson: And it better begin now....


(CUT TO: Troy Windham, sitting in his state-of-the-art television studio at his North Shore Oahu Compound. He's cradling his CSWA Unified Championship.)

TROY: Hey, Mike Small... welcome to the greatest day of your life. Troy Windham, the CSWA Unified Champion, the man who at the end of Gold Rush will have his name cemented as the greatest wrestler who has ever lived, has mentioned your name!

But before you cream your Underoos... just hear me out for one second. Mike Small, I have a proposition for you. You see, you can ask anyone in the sport. I am a benevolent god, a giving man. And oen of the things I have always strived for is to ensure that this industry has a generation after me, so it can continue to prosper and grow.

Mike Small, I know you're dreaming a big dream here. But I have the proposition of a LIFETIME for you.

I'll have my agent get to you, right now, two round-trip plane tickets, so you and your friend can come and spend a few days at the North Shore Oahu compound with me. I'll help get you into shape, teach you some moves, and then I will hopefully see you in the final ring, where the King of This Generation will do battle against you... the person I will annoint as the leader of his generation!

Be on the lookout for those tickets, Mike... because I'm on the lookout for you! (FTB)
 

GreggG

Moderator
Joined
Jan 1, 2000
Messages
810
Points
18
(CUT TO: "The Big Man On Campus" JJ Deville, holding his trigonometry textbook, wearing his NC State varsity jacket, is standing in front of a school cafeteria conveyor belt, as trays smeared with food slide by.)

JJ: Hello there, Mr. Small. I'm not sure if you remember me or not. This is JJ Deville. Little JJ Deville. I was one of the kids on your Little League baseball team in the Lindley Park Recreational League. You might not recognize me now, but I was the little scrawny kid who couldn't even hit a ball off a tee, who never got on base, the kid all the other kids laughed at.

I never got to know your kid, Mike. He was a few years younger than me. But now I see he's ready to make the leap and live out the same dream I did -- local kid making good in the CSWA.
I know you're new into the sport. I admire your pluck. I admire your determination. It's the same feeling that I had when I marched into CSWA Tower, the biggest building down on Market Street, and asked for an application.

Mike, you seem like a really nice kid. And I have nothing but a lot of respect for your dad and all the time he's dedicated to the Lindley Park Little League, managing teams, helping rake the fields down after the games. He was a bit of a screamer, but he always had everyone's best intentions at his heart.

But just because you're cut from the same Greensboro cloth that I'm from, just because I might see you running on the Bog Garden or see you trying to get into a show at The Flying Anvil, don't think for one second that I won't throw you out of a wrestling ring.

I wish you well, Mike Small... if this is indeed your real name. Actually, uhm, yeah, it IS indeed your real name. I'm a sucker for a good story. One about the local kid, seemingly over his head, done godo.

It's just that I'm writing that story right now... and there's only room in the tale for me. I'm The Ultimate Cinderella Story, Mike Small... the local boy who entered the league above his head and left with his hand held high.

Mike, I hope I don't have to do this, but if our paths cross, I will eliminate you from this contest. It's just what I have do. After all, I'm the Big Man On Campus.

Oh, and one last thing.

Tell Cain to tell his older brother I said hi, and to hit me up on MySpace. (FTB)
 
D

DannyGilbert

Guest
Time: Current!

Date/Place: Mike Small's bedroom.

(Lens opens and a CSWA cameraman counts down from 3, 2, 1 with his fingers as Mike Small is sitting on his bed with a picture frame in hand. Behind Mike, hung on the wall are posters of Lindsay Troy and Michael Vick.)

Camerman: Just be calm Mike. Like we ran through in practice. Piece of cake.

Cain Dawson: (off camera) Yeah, we've only had two hours of pre-takes. Should be memorized by now.

Mike Small: Cain weren't you supposed to get a job this summer?

Cain Dawson: I'm part of your entrouage now (Cain laughs) I'm living vicariously through you.

Cameraman: In 2.....

Mike Small: (looks directly at camera, then at his picture frame.) JJ, it'd be easy to say I wanted to be just like you. Greensboro native who made it all the way to the C-S-W-A. Be one of two guys who didn't need Make-A-Wish to have our dreams come true. But you know what? It's not easy being a 19 year-old. It wasn't easy growing up in a family where NOBODY got your sense of humor, or constantly wondered why you WEREN'T as good as your older sister in sports, or enjoy stalking game in the mountains with your dad. It's not easy being the most inexperienced and youngest competitor in the GOLD RUSH match and hoping to mingle backstage beforehand on the 27th and not have the legends in this business like Scott Riktor or Dan Ryan be unable to keep a straight face. It's not easy when your dreams are seen as comedic fodder for your best friend, and mock wills drawn up and left on the bathroom mirror for me to sign. I'm not a spec on anyone's radar, JJ, but I still have the guts to say this.

You're a jagoff.

Yeah I remember you Deville. Begging me to stay after dad's practice to shag your fly balls. I could've gotten heatstroke in the outfield waiting for so long for you to make solid contact. Were you even trying? Did you care? "Mike, get off the field and quit playing around." I had the opportunity to make a running catch like Andruw Jones but you couldn't get LIFT.

I remember you JJ. You and your friends rolling our house with toliet paper on Christmas Eve. How do you think that made me feel? My dad thinking it was MY fault because I was...well....an apple that fell FAR off the tree.

You've had some success, and hey, you have that going for you which is nice. But I know the real JJ Deville. And don't think you're coming over to our house to take me to the cool kid's table just because I filled out and can press two hundred pounds. Little Mike Small is all growed up, JJ, and he's got his sights set on owning the CSWA one day. Whatever path you blazed, mine will burn brighter. And one day when I AM UNIFIED champion and have Lindsay Troy returning my calls...when I've got millions to spare and Jennifer Hill takes notice...when I'm the biggest name in this business and the best thing to happen to Greensboro since desegration. You'll remember the days when you pranked our family, when you pushed me around on the bus to the state championships in Raleigh. And you'll wonder how Little Mike Small overcame the head start you had and became a superstar. How Mike Small kicked your tail.

I still have a lot of growing up to do. But if I grew into you, I'd hang myself, Deville.

(Mike stops.)

Cameraman: Very nice Mike.

Cain Dawson: (laughing hysterically) Dude....

Mike Small: Shut up Cain! You know I'm the one between the two of us that's literate.

Cain Dawson: You totally forgot the intro with the picture frame.

Mike Small: (sighs) Crap!

Cameraman: It was still good Mike.

Jerry Small: (off camera) Michael! Fedex is at the door for you.

Mike Small: Okay! (to Cain) For me?

Jerry Small: (off camera) What the hell is going on here?

 

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