D
DannyGilbert
Guest
Time: Right now!
Date/Place: Jerry Small's house in Greensboro, NC. Mike's bedroom.
(The lens opens and our story begins with a tight shot on Mike's strained face. Small's eyes bludge, sweat covers his face. Mike turns the colors of the rainbow as he lays on a weight bench in his room, trying in vain to lift about 190 lbs off his chest. A friend, Cain Dawson, sits on the edge of Mike's bed reading a back issue of the CSWA TRIBUNE.)
Cain Dawson: You're nutso, man. These guys are going to kill you.
Mike Small: Spot!
Cain Dawson: Check out this cover story picture on Eli Flair. He's exactly the reason why you don't go to jail. Can you imagine sharing a cell with THAT man?
Mike Small: SPOT!
Cain Dawson. The article says he's cool though. I've read as much on the fwrestling.com. I've seen you do a lot of stupid ****, but this is the highwater mark for sure.
Mike Small: (choking) Souaouaoju;lik;lh.
Cain Dawson: What if HORNET is there? That'd be psych. You're going to be in a room with HORNET. And somehow you haven't been laid yet. Explain that one to me.
Jerry Small: (off camera) Michael!
(Mike kicks his legs in the year, he's foaming at the mouth.)
Jerry Small: Michael Small!!
Cain Dawson: (flips a page in the magazine) Dude, your dad is calling you.
(Jerry Small busts into his son's bedroom.)
Jerry Small: Did you not hear me calling you, boy?
(Mike finds the strength to get the weights off him. Tossing them to the side. He's near death. Really. There's a white light coming through the window.)
Mike Small: I....I.... (cries)
Jerry Small: Quit horsing around before you tear up my house. The garbage needs to be taken out. Now.
Cain Dawson: Mr. Small, UNIFIED champions don't take out the garbage. It's not written anywhere here (holds up the Tribune) but I'm sure they have like people and stuff to do that for them.
Jerry Small: Oh really?
Cain Dawson: Yeah. Common knowledge really.
Jerry Small: Well when he becomes UNIFIED Champion you can start taking it out for him. Until then, Michael get busy. (Mr. Small leaves the room.)
Cain Dawson: Dude, your dad is awesome. You can't even get him off your balls and now you're throwing yourself in a ring with Eli Flair, Dan Ryan, and Troy Windham. I see this turning out well.
Mike Small: (breathing heavy) Back to a previous point. (Mike sits up on the bench, carefully.) How do you know I haven't been laid?
Cain Dawson: I read your myspace page. Yeah, the phrase "blanket honesty" is a double-edge sword.
Mike Small: (smiles) When I become UNIFIED World Champion I'll have my choice of dames.
Cain Dawson: Dames? Did you just say dames?
Mike Small: I wonder if Lindsay Troy will return my calls.
Cain Dawson: I'd love to hear that conversation. (Cain turns at looks at a life-size "Queen Of The Ring" poster on Mike's bedroom wall.) "Lindsay I've always been a big fan. So many nights I've wanted you, but never knew how to tell you."
(Mike gets up, walks over to his bedroom window and looks out.)
Mike Small: Don't be jealous. I might even throw a little action your way.
Cain Dawson: Wow Weee. Meaningful erections again, awesome. Not since my last wet dream...
Mike Small: (gazing out the window.) You think she'll show up? On the 27th?
Cain Dawson: Who?
Mike Small: Jennifer.
Cain Dawson: Of course. She's majoring in English so she can fall in love with her boyhood neighborhood stalker who's about to get his ass kicked by 200 other men. It's the classic American story.
Mike Small. Cain, I really think I can win!
Cain Dawson: And Canada actually has an Army. On the importance scale...both are a zero.
Mike Small: Troy Windham said he's under lock and key for the next three weeks to train for this. No hookers, imported cheeses, or sugar coated cerals.
Cain Dawson: Your point being?
Mike Small: There's no way he can prepare for me! Hell even I don't know what my moves are!
Cain Dawson: You don't have any!
Mike Small: Well... (Mike throws himself on his bed) I've got three weeks to learn. Break out the CSWA Best Of ANNIVERSARY DVDs and order Papa Johns. There's work to be done.
Jerry Small: (off camera) MIKE!!
Cain Dawson: And it better begin now....
Date/Place: Jerry Small's house in Greensboro, NC. Mike's bedroom.
(The lens opens and our story begins with a tight shot on Mike's strained face. Small's eyes bludge, sweat covers his face. Mike turns the colors of the rainbow as he lays on a weight bench in his room, trying in vain to lift about 190 lbs off his chest. A friend, Cain Dawson, sits on the edge of Mike's bed reading a back issue of the CSWA TRIBUNE.)
Cain Dawson: You're nutso, man. These guys are going to kill you.
Mike Small: Spot!
Cain Dawson: Check out this cover story picture on Eli Flair. He's exactly the reason why you don't go to jail. Can you imagine sharing a cell with THAT man?
Mike Small: SPOT!
Cain Dawson. The article says he's cool though. I've read as much on the fwrestling.com. I've seen you do a lot of stupid ****, but this is the highwater mark for sure.
Mike Small: (choking) Souaouaoju;lik;lh.
Cain Dawson: What if HORNET is there? That'd be psych. You're going to be in a room with HORNET. And somehow you haven't been laid yet. Explain that one to me.
Jerry Small: (off camera) Michael!
(Mike kicks his legs in the year, he's foaming at the mouth.)
Jerry Small: Michael Small!!
Cain Dawson: (flips a page in the magazine) Dude, your dad is calling you.
(Jerry Small busts into his son's bedroom.)
Jerry Small: Did you not hear me calling you, boy?
(Mike finds the strength to get the weights off him. Tossing them to the side. He's near death. Really. There's a white light coming through the window.)
Mike Small: I....I.... (cries)
Jerry Small: Quit horsing around before you tear up my house. The garbage needs to be taken out. Now.
Cain Dawson: Mr. Small, UNIFIED champions don't take out the garbage. It's not written anywhere here (holds up the Tribune) but I'm sure they have like people and stuff to do that for them.
Jerry Small: Oh really?
Cain Dawson: Yeah. Common knowledge really.
Jerry Small: Well when he becomes UNIFIED Champion you can start taking it out for him. Until then, Michael get busy. (Mr. Small leaves the room.)
Cain Dawson: Dude, your dad is awesome. You can't even get him off your balls and now you're throwing yourself in a ring with Eli Flair, Dan Ryan, and Troy Windham. I see this turning out well.
Mike Small: (breathing heavy) Back to a previous point. (Mike sits up on the bench, carefully.) How do you know I haven't been laid?
Cain Dawson: I read your myspace page. Yeah, the phrase "blanket honesty" is a double-edge sword.
Mike Small: (smiles) When I become UNIFIED World Champion I'll have my choice of dames.
Cain Dawson: Dames? Did you just say dames?
Mike Small: I wonder if Lindsay Troy will return my calls.
Cain Dawson: I'd love to hear that conversation. (Cain turns at looks at a life-size "Queen Of The Ring" poster on Mike's bedroom wall.) "Lindsay I've always been a big fan. So many nights I've wanted you, but never knew how to tell you."
(Mike gets up, walks over to his bedroom window and looks out.)
Mike Small: Don't be jealous. I might even throw a little action your way.
Cain Dawson: Wow Weee. Meaningful erections again, awesome. Not since my last wet dream...
Mike Small: (gazing out the window.) You think she'll show up? On the 27th?
Cain Dawson: Who?
Mike Small: Jennifer.
Cain Dawson: Of course. She's majoring in English so she can fall in love with her boyhood neighborhood stalker who's about to get his ass kicked by 200 other men. It's the classic American story.
Mike Small. Cain, I really think I can win!
Cain Dawson: And Canada actually has an Army. On the importance scale...both are a zero.
Mike Small: Troy Windham said he's under lock and key for the next three weeks to train for this. No hookers, imported cheeses, or sugar coated cerals.
Cain Dawson: Your point being?
Mike Small: There's no way he can prepare for me! Hell even I don't know what my moves are!
Cain Dawson: You don't have any!
Mike Small: Well... (Mike throws himself on his bed) I've got three weeks to learn. Break out the CSWA Best Of ANNIVERSARY DVDs and order Papa Johns. There's work to be done.
Jerry Small: (off camera) MIKE!!
Cain Dawson: And it better begin now....
Last edited: