Christian Sands vs. Cameron Cruise
- Thread starter DBrunkGXW
- Start date
JABolich
League Member
(FADEIN: A trophy room somewhere in the Sands Estate. A huge trophy case at the back of the room holds several amateur wrestling trophies as well as the original SCW International Title. CHRISTIAN SANDS himself sits on a steel chair, polishing a more significant bauble - the EPW World Heavyweight Championship - with a touch as delicate as a parent cradling a child. After a moment, he examines his reflection in the belt's golden face, then looks to the camera.)
Sands: It's moments like this that every wrestler lives for. Two years ago I was nobody - just a man with a distant dream. Now I sit here before you a man whose dreams have come to fruition. Despite all the odds I am the Heavyweight Champion of the World. The view from up top...
(A contented sigh...)
...Breathtaking.
Don't misunderstand me. I may be The Man, but I'm certainly not content to rest on my laurels. Not that EPW management is about to let me, considering they've hurled me into a title defense against a man named Cameron Cruise. Now, I just have one question here...
...When did you quit the porn business, Cam?
Honestly, kid. You've been doing this for what - nearly a decade or something like that? And in all that time, NOBODY has bothered to mention to you that you're named after a hardcore porn star - and not a particularly attractive one? Have they at least told your wife that both Devon and Mercedes are prominent porn stars? What are you guys, walking posterboards for Vivid Video? I'm half-expecting Jenna Jameson and Miko Lee to pop out of the woodwork here.
But in all seriousness, Cam. How long has it been since you were a contender? For that matter, have you EVER been a contender? From what I've discovered through my research you have never held a major World Title despite having been in this business more than twice as long as I have. The highest you've ever reached is the Intercontinental level.
How does it feel, Cam? How does it feel to know that I've reached greater heights in two years than you have in a lifetime?
How does it feel to know that I've passed you by without even trying?
What makes you think you're even in my league, Cam? Do you honestly think that I'm going to go out there and let myself lose my title to some guy who earned his shot by capitalizing on interference? Don't bullsh*t me, Cruise, because I watched the match - and Douglas had you. So let me ask you this. If you can't beat Douglas on your own, how are you going to handle a guy who defeated Beast, who is not only leagues better than you but has already beaten Douglas by his own merit?
Face it, Cruise. You're not on my level. You probably never will be, judging from your resume. Try as you might, Cam, you will never be The Man - certainly not at MY expense.
I am the Champion of the World, Cam, and that's not going to change anytime soon, simply because I've proven that I'm the best and that I'm a smarter wrestler than any man in EPW. Feel free to dispute that claim, but the statistics don't lie. I am undefeated here in Empire, I hold the World Heavyweight Title, and I've run through pretty much the entire roster. It's true: Stand in my way and I will mow you down just as I mowed down everyone else who tried to bar me from achieving my destiny.
But I've achieved it, Cam - and now I have the chance to LIVE IT. And I will NOT stop living it for YOU... Porno Boy.
Bring what you've got, kid.
It won't be enough, of course.
But every little bit helps.
(FADEOUT)
Sands: It's moments like this that every wrestler lives for. Two years ago I was nobody - just a man with a distant dream. Now I sit here before you a man whose dreams have come to fruition. Despite all the odds I am the Heavyweight Champion of the World. The view from up top...
(A contented sigh...)
...Breathtaking.
Don't misunderstand me. I may be The Man, but I'm certainly not content to rest on my laurels. Not that EPW management is about to let me, considering they've hurled me into a title defense against a man named Cameron Cruise. Now, I just have one question here...
...When did you quit the porn business, Cam?
Honestly, kid. You've been doing this for what - nearly a decade or something like that? And in all that time, NOBODY has bothered to mention to you that you're named after a hardcore porn star - and not a particularly attractive one? Have they at least told your wife that both Devon and Mercedes are prominent porn stars? What are you guys, walking posterboards for Vivid Video? I'm half-expecting Jenna Jameson and Miko Lee to pop out of the woodwork here.
But in all seriousness, Cam. How long has it been since you were a contender? For that matter, have you EVER been a contender? From what I've discovered through my research you have never held a major World Title despite having been in this business more than twice as long as I have. The highest you've ever reached is the Intercontinental level.
How does it feel, Cam? How does it feel to know that I've reached greater heights in two years than you have in a lifetime?
How does it feel to know that I've passed you by without even trying?
What makes you think you're even in my league, Cam? Do you honestly think that I'm going to go out there and let myself lose my title to some guy who earned his shot by capitalizing on interference? Don't bullsh*t me, Cruise, because I watched the match - and Douglas had you. So let me ask you this. If you can't beat Douglas on your own, how are you going to handle a guy who defeated Beast, who is not only leagues better than you but has already beaten Douglas by his own merit?
Face it, Cruise. You're not on my level. You probably never will be, judging from your resume. Try as you might, Cam, you will never be The Man - certainly not at MY expense.
I am the Champion of the World, Cam, and that's not going to change anytime soon, simply because I've proven that I'm the best and that I'm a smarter wrestler than any man in EPW. Feel free to dispute that claim, but the statistics don't lie. I am undefeated here in Empire, I hold the World Heavyweight Title, and I've run through pretty much the entire roster. It's true: Stand in my way and I will mow you down just as I mowed down everyone else who tried to bar me from achieving my destiny.
But I've achieved it, Cam - and now I have the chance to LIVE IT. And I will NOT stop living it for YOU... Porno Boy.
Bring what you've got, kid.
It won't be enough, of course.
But every little bit helps.
(FADEOUT)
TSiegel
I spoil things.
Fadein, an EPW-backdrop.)
CRUISE: Interesting how just a few weeks will make a difference from the last year will make. This time last year, NFW was just getting started, EPW hadn't even made a debut let alone as far as an announcement is concerned, and CSWA was...well, when ISN'T CSWA taking a time out?
Fast forward to a few weeks ago.
Upon hearing that Suicide was committing fatal mistakes and no one was correcting them, all it took was just one man to fix it.
But no one wanted to step forward.
I say again, it's interesting how just a few simple actions of one man can change the expectations of many.
So I took it upon myself, in all my mediocrity and glory, to fix things.
Because people like you Christian Sands, are too involved and self-absorbed in their own personal vendettas to take time out of their agendas to do so.
That's right Christian.
(Bleep) you.
Since when do you have the time or patience to give a damn about me? For that matter, since when do you give a damn about anyone else but you?
You've been in this business for two-to-three years to my near decade and have reached the top of the mountain before me.
Congratulations, Chump.
You've done so while competing in matches in SCW, sixty-six-minute matches in GWE, matches in NFW with myself, Ryan, and everyone else for the Ultratitle, and now have taken it upon yourself to be the cementing foundation as the first EPW World Champion.
Piss off, because I could care less what you've done.
What I care about is RIGHT NOW.
It doesn't matter if I've only captured the Intercontinental title in GWE, or the Presidential title in CSWA. The fact of the matter is, for one:
Both titles are now being held by punk-a**es who don't know what to do with them in the first place. One of those two I might add, is a stoner who....if I remember correctly....has the world title and has kicked your carcass all over the ring, again, and again, and again.
Tell ME something Christian.
How does it feel knowing that you can't beat a drug addict for the world title that you think is already in the bag??
You've passed me up and taken the world title without trying....good for you.
It's nice to know that when someone else accomplishes something that you're not even worried about at the time, credit is there for the taking.
Don't me wrong Christian, you defeated Beast in what alot of critics think was one to remember. You earned the EPW in that respect, you can WRESTLE. But since when do you receive the right and privilage to declare yourself one in your own league and think that no one else belongs in it?
Hell, if you want to be real technical about it, I'd like to think that that four-way match was one for my resume, myself.
Going up against three other men, one in which I knew practically nothing about about other than the fact that he was replacing Daymon. I'd like to think that I did a pretty good jobin it too, despite the fact that Douglas lost his focus.
But before I forget, let me just address that point of the match before I go on, because lord knows, if I don't have an explanation soon, Douglas' mommy is going to have a fit and send a letter to Mercedes.
What Beast did at Black Dawn was of his own right and his own doing. If he felt that he needed to provide me with a distraction to turn things around, then that was up to him. Sure, Douglas was on a roll. But that was his own mistake as well as his downfall. His downfall was my advantage as well as my reward.
But instead of ending it right there Douglas, your stupidity came in effect and you lost focus when Beast came down the aisle. You as skilled as you are kid, should know that when you start something....you damn well better finish it.
Beast was just lucky enough to get the cover. Hell, for all you care, it could've been Sands that got the win, but the same result would've occured.
Suicide committing....well, EPW-suicide, if you pardon the pun.
As far as you're concerned Douglas, you go cry on somebody's shoulder that gives a damn, because I sure don't. Neither does Marx, neither does Daymon, as well as anyone else who you think MIGHT give a damn about you. Take your Intercontinental title shot and piss off.
(Cruise relaxes a minute and looks downward a minute and then back up, brushing hair out of his face.)
So Christian Sands thinks that I just waltzed right into this business and that my wife and I were in the adult film industry, praying that no one would remember of a past we NEVER had.
That's great Sands, good work.
As a matter of fact, it's SO great that you forgot the fact that I've never even seen my wife before the MWC/EWI days.
Ya know...the days in which JW Locke could give two (bleep)s about you, me, and anyone else not named THE WORM or THE HURRICANE.
But at least I got a paycheck.
But back to what you said....the porn thing. Assuming in all your selfishness as EPW World Champion, that I was in the industry.
Actually....I can't. Because that means that if I actually was, then you would find videos of me with women I don't remember. That would mean that you in fact DON'T have a life of your own and spend every waking hour of the day away from sleep and stuck to promoters' rear ends....humping your OWN fist and that pal....
That's just gross.
I said it before and I'm sayin' it again.
I came to EPW to make impacts and statements galore, because I'm done paying dues and waiting my turn.
Step one was kicking Suicides' a**.
Step two was stepping up to take what was mine, and that was at being the number one contender.
Don't even tell me you've forgotten what Step three is. As a matter of fact, it doesn't even matter if you know it or THINK you know it.
Because I'll be more than willing to TEACH IT to you.
That, Champ, is a REALITY CHECK....that you just....won't like.
Chump.
FADE.
CRUISE: Interesting how just a few weeks will make a difference from the last year will make. This time last year, NFW was just getting started, EPW hadn't even made a debut let alone as far as an announcement is concerned, and CSWA was...well, when ISN'T CSWA taking a time out?
Fast forward to a few weeks ago.
Upon hearing that Suicide was committing fatal mistakes and no one was correcting them, all it took was just one man to fix it.
But no one wanted to step forward.
I say again, it's interesting how just a few simple actions of one man can change the expectations of many.
So I took it upon myself, in all my mediocrity and glory, to fix things.
Because people like you Christian Sands, are too involved and self-absorbed in their own personal vendettas to take time out of their agendas to do so.
That's right Christian.
(Bleep) you.
Since when do you have the time or patience to give a damn about me? For that matter, since when do you give a damn about anyone else but you?
You've been in this business for two-to-three years to my near decade and have reached the top of the mountain before me.
Congratulations, Chump.
You've done so while competing in matches in SCW, sixty-six-minute matches in GWE, matches in NFW with myself, Ryan, and everyone else for the Ultratitle, and now have taken it upon yourself to be the cementing foundation as the first EPW World Champion.
Piss off, because I could care less what you've done.
What I care about is RIGHT NOW.
It doesn't matter if I've only captured the Intercontinental title in GWE, or the Presidential title in CSWA. The fact of the matter is, for one:
Both titles are now being held by punk-a**es who don't know what to do with them in the first place. One of those two I might add, is a stoner who....if I remember correctly....has the world title and has kicked your carcass all over the ring, again, and again, and again.
Tell ME something Christian.
How does it feel knowing that you can't beat a drug addict for the world title that you think is already in the bag??
You've passed me up and taken the world title without trying....good for you.
It's nice to know that when someone else accomplishes something that you're not even worried about at the time, credit is there for the taking.
Don't me wrong Christian, you defeated Beast in what alot of critics think was one to remember. You earned the EPW in that respect, you can WRESTLE. But since when do you receive the right and privilage to declare yourself one in your own league and think that no one else belongs in it?
Hell, if you want to be real technical about it, I'd like to think that that four-way match was one for my resume, myself.
Going up against three other men, one in which I knew practically nothing about about other than the fact that he was replacing Daymon. I'd like to think that I did a pretty good jobin it too, despite the fact that Douglas lost his focus.
But before I forget, let me just address that point of the match before I go on, because lord knows, if I don't have an explanation soon, Douglas' mommy is going to have a fit and send a letter to Mercedes.
What Beast did at Black Dawn was of his own right and his own doing. If he felt that he needed to provide me with a distraction to turn things around, then that was up to him. Sure, Douglas was on a roll. But that was his own mistake as well as his downfall. His downfall was my advantage as well as my reward.
But instead of ending it right there Douglas, your stupidity came in effect and you lost focus when Beast came down the aisle. You as skilled as you are kid, should know that when you start something....you damn well better finish it.
Beast was just lucky enough to get the cover. Hell, for all you care, it could've been Sands that got the win, but the same result would've occured.
Suicide committing....well, EPW-suicide, if you pardon the pun.
As far as you're concerned Douglas, you go cry on somebody's shoulder that gives a damn, because I sure don't. Neither does Marx, neither does Daymon, as well as anyone else who you think MIGHT give a damn about you. Take your Intercontinental title shot and piss off.
(Cruise relaxes a minute and looks downward a minute and then back up, brushing hair out of his face.)
So Christian Sands thinks that I just waltzed right into this business and that my wife and I were in the adult film industry, praying that no one would remember of a past we NEVER had.
That's great Sands, good work.
As a matter of fact, it's SO great that you forgot the fact that I've never even seen my wife before the MWC/EWI days.
Ya know...the days in which JW Locke could give two (bleep)s about you, me, and anyone else not named THE WORM or THE HURRICANE.
But at least I got a paycheck.
But back to what you said....the porn thing. Assuming in all your selfishness as EPW World Champion, that I was in the industry.
Actually....I can't. Because that means that if I actually was, then you would find videos of me with women I don't remember. That would mean that you in fact DON'T have a life of your own and spend every waking hour of the day away from sleep and stuck to promoters' rear ends....humping your OWN fist and that pal....
That's just gross.
I said it before and I'm sayin' it again.
I came to EPW to make impacts and statements galore, because I'm done paying dues and waiting my turn.
Step one was kicking Suicides' a**.
Step two was stepping up to take what was mine, and that was at being the number one contender.
Don't even tell me you've forgotten what Step three is. As a matter of fact, it doesn't even matter if you know it or THINK you know it.
Because I'll be more than willing to TEACH IT to you.
That, Champ, is a REALITY CHECK....that you just....won't like.
Chump.
FADE.
JABolich
League Member
(FADEIN: Gold. The gleaming metal fills the screen as the camera sits zoomed in on the face of the EPW World Heavyweight Championship. The title's nameplate, bearing the name CHRISTIAN SANDS in bold letters, is centered in the viewfinder. After a moment, the title is lifted from the camera, revealing that CHRISTIAN SANDS himself has been holding it there. He places it on the desk at which he sits.)
Sands: Hope you enjoyed that little glimpse, Cam. Note the nameplate - the nameplate which will continue to bear my name after Aggression. You talk about how there are three steps to success and how we both know what step three is. You're right - we do know. We both know that step three is Cameron Cruise coming into Aggression and TRYING to take my title, but failing miserably and discovering that he's overmatched.
But you know... Something's occurred to me.
You have no concept of a joke.
Do you really think that I think you and your blushing bride were actually a porn star? Seriously? Oh, jeez. Went right over your head, didn't I? Alright, I'll explain it to you.
IIIIIII was making fuuuuun of yoooooou.
I'm sorry, scamp, but you make it so easy. You sit there trying to sound tough, but you just set yourself up for a fall.
For example, you tell me that you care only about RIGHT NOW... then turn around and rant about what Beast did at the last Aggression, about your match at Black Dawn, and about how Boogie Smallz consistently cheats his way to fluke wins against me. But here's the kicker, Cam - All of that stuff ISN'T right now! Oh, irony of ironies! Looks like Cameron Cruise just put his foot in his mouth! Then again, that's nothing new.
You want to talk about right now? Alright, let's lay it out. Right now, I am the Champion of the World, the biggest star in this company, and the best technical wrestler in the world. Right now, YOU are a career midcarder who didn't earn his title shot by his own merit.
But that's meaningless, right? Because you're the great savior of wrestling, here to save the business from egomaniacs like me.
...
Ha! Hahahahaha!
Tell me, Cam, why should I care about other peoples' agendas? There's only one agenda that means anything to me - MINE! I don't give a f*ck what you or anyone else wants, because as the Champion of the World it's all about ME! So you want to beat a little sharing and caring into me, huh? Feed me a little humble pie and cure me of my so-called ego? Maybe make me show a little respect like the rest of the sheep? I have five words for you, Cruise.
BLOW IT OUT YOUR ASS.
Cameron Cruise, defender of wrestling from the evils of focused competition... who would've thunk it, huh?
You want a reality check, scamp? Alright - YOU AREN'T GOING TO FIX SH*T. You don't have the right tools. You aren't equipped to dethrone me, much less school the rest of the promotion. You're nothing, Cam. You're a little voice in the corner who only attained his position thanks to Beast's good graces.
At Aggression, scamp, I'm sending you right back to your corner empty-handed.
Oh, wait... nevermind. You will be carrying something.
The fragments of your shattered pride.
Meanwhile, I'll still be holding this title and standing at the top of the mountain.
Come back when you can say something of interest. And by that I mean "NOT utterly retarded."
Maybe by then the Cubs will have won the World Series.
(FADEOUT)
Sands: Hope you enjoyed that little glimpse, Cam. Note the nameplate - the nameplate which will continue to bear my name after Aggression. You talk about how there are three steps to success and how we both know what step three is. You're right - we do know. We both know that step three is Cameron Cruise coming into Aggression and TRYING to take my title, but failing miserably and discovering that he's overmatched.
But you know... Something's occurred to me.
You have no concept of a joke.
Do you really think that I think you and your blushing bride were actually a porn star? Seriously? Oh, jeez. Went right over your head, didn't I? Alright, I'll explain it to you.
IIIIIII was making fuuuuun of yoooooou.
I'm sorry, scamp, but you make it so easy. You sit there trying to sound tough, but you just set yourself up for a fall.
For example, you tell me that you care only about RIGHT NOW... then turn around and rant about what Beast did at the last Aggression, about your match at Black Dawn, and about how Boogie Smallz consistently cheats his way to fluke wins against me. But here's the kicker, Cam - All of that stuff ISN'T right now! Oh, irony of ironies! Looks like Cameron Cruise just put his foot in his mouth! Then again, that's nothing new.
You want to talk about right now? Alright, let's lay it out. Right now, I am the Champion of the World, the biggest star in this company, and the best technical wrestler in the world. Right now, YOU are a career midcarder who didn't earn his title shot by his own merit.
But that's meaningless, right? Because you're the great savior of wrestling, here to save the business from egomaniacs like me.
...
Ha! Hahahahaha!
Tell me, Cam, why should I care about other peoples' agendas? There's only one agenda that means anything to me - MINE! I don't give a f*ck what you or anyone else wants, because as the Champion of the World it's all about ME! So you want to beat a little sharing and caring into me, huh? Feed me a little humble pie and cure me of my so-called ego? Maybe make me show a little respect like the rest of the sheep? I have five words for you, Cruise.
BLOW IT OUT YOUR ASS.
Cameron Cruise, defender of wrestling from the evils of focused competition... who would've thunk it, huh?
You want a reality check, scamp? Alright - YOU AREN'T GOING TO FIX SH*T. You don't have the right tools. You aren't equipped to dethrone me, much less school the rest of the promotion. You're nothing, Cam. You're a little voice in the corner who only attained his position thanks to Beast's good graces.
At Aggression, scamp, I'm sending you right back to your corner empty-handed.
Oh, wait... nevermind. You will be carrying something.
The fragments of your shattered pride.
Meanwhile, I'll still be holding this title and standing at the top of the mountain.
Come back when you can say something of interest. And by that I mean "NOT utterly retarded."
Maybe by then the Cubs will have won the World Series.
(FADEOUT)
TSiegel
I spoil things.
(Fadein, as Cruise paces back and forth in front of the EPW-backdrop.)
CRUISE: You don't really get it do you? It's the fact of the matter that you took time to even produce the THOUGHT , which disgusts me.
(Cruise stops a moment, putting up a momentary finger.)
Ladies and Gentlemen, before we go further I would just like to introduce to you your new EPW World Heavyweight Champion..."THE PERVERTED "....Christian Sands.
Let me tell you something freak, because obviously you missed the point.
I've been talking about here and the now, because frankly that's all I'm worried about. But if I tend to backtrack and explain to skilled morons like Troy Douglas and you that I always win things on my own accord, then that's my business. (Bleep) off.
I gave Beast the nod because he provided me with the distraction I needed to turn the tide. It's Douglas' own fault he didn't finish me off, just like it's your fault if you leave me an opening.
Why?
Because I WILL take advantage that opening, just like I'll take advantage of it to beat you at Aggression, win the EPW title, and I'll take advantage of it when I defend it.
You want to label me a career mid-carder, Sands? Fine, but do so by explaining the fact that in both our streaks, how is it that I've made things MAIN EVENT STATUS just by the choices I've made....and you haven't.
Think about it.
I debuted in EPW....in the Main Event.
Caused a man to quit the company....while in the Main Event.
Just had a match at Black Dawn that most critics would say could very well be....Main Event.
And at EPW Aggression in Atlanta, when I step in the ring...in the Main Event....to show you the reason why.
The same reason I gave to Suicide, Daymon, Marx, and Douglas.
That I'm not waiting for my breaks anymore.
I'm TAKING them, just like I'm going to take your belt.
That way, you can stop annoying me by telling me and the rest of the worldby saying that you're the world champion.
....two....three....four....
Yes, Christian, you're the friggin' EPW champion, we know.
....two....three....four....
Yep, whatever, EPW Champ.
Now....CHUMP...if you were listening, I mentioned about before you were defeated Beast to become champion with doing something about Suicide. But obviously you've had your head too far up your A** to even realize it, so I guess it doesn't matter.
Now, being the fact that it is what it is, you'll have to excuse me while I stop listening to the sound of your bubble BURSTING...and do something more along the lines of PRODUCTIVE and watch the grass grow.
Why?
Because that you inconsiderate PUNK....is a Reality Check that you just....won't like.
Fade.
CRUISE: You don't really get it do you? It's the fact of the matter that you took time to even produce the THOUGHT , which disgusts me.
(Cruise stops a moment, putting up a momentary finger.)
Ladies and Gentlemen, before we go further I would just like to introduce to you your new EPW World Heavyweight Champion..."THE PERVERTED "....Christian Sands.
Let me tell you something freak, because obviously you missed the point.
I've been talking about here and the now, because frankly that's all I'm worried about. But if I tend to backtrack and explain to skilled morons like Troy Douglas and you that I always win things on my own accord, then that's my business. (Bleep) off.
I gave Beast the nod because he provided me with the distraction I needed to turn the tide. It's Douglas' own fault he didn't finish me off, just like it's your fault if you leave me an opening.
Why?
Because I WILL take advantage that opening, just like I'll take advantage of it to beat you at Aggression, win the EPW title, and I'll take advantage of it when I defend it.
You want to label me a career mid-carder, Sands? Fine, but do so by explaining the fact that in both our streaks, how is it that I've made things MAIN EVENT STATUS just by the choices I've made....and you haven't.
Think about it.
I debuted in EPW....in the Main Event.
Caused a man to quit the company....while in the Main Event.
Just had a match at Black Dawn that most critics would say could very well be....Main Event.
And at EPW Aggression in Atlanta, when I step in the ring...in the Main Event....to show you the reason why.
The same reason I gave to Suicide, Daymon, Marx, and Douglas.
That I'm not waiting for my breaks anymore.
I'm TAKING them, just like I'm going to take your belt.
That way, you can stop annoying me by telling me and the rest of the worldby saying that you're the world champion.
....two....three....four....
Yes, Christian, you're the friggin' EPW champion, we know.
....two....three....four....
Yep, whatever, EPW Champ.
Now....CHUMP...if you were listening, I mentioned about before you were defeated Beast to become champion with doing something about Suicide. But obviously you've had your head too far up your A** to even realize it, so I guess it doesn't matter.
Now, being the fact that it is what it is, you'll have to excuse me while I stop listening to the sound of your bubble BURSTING...and do something more along the lines of PRODUCTIVE and watch the grass grow.
Why?
Because that you inconsiderate PUNK....is a Reality Check that you just....won't like.
Fade.
JABolich
League Member
(FADEIN: CHRISTIAN SANDS, with World Title in hand, sitting in front of a white backdrop.)
Sands: Oh, Cam, Cam, Cam. I had no idea your promos could be so much fun. All those recycled wrestling cliches and lines borrowed from people who can actually cut original material... Priceless. So I missed the point, eh? What point was there to miss? You took a joke I made pretty much offhand and rambled for five minutes about it as if I were serious. Sounds to me like someone else around here has missed the point of something, eh?
Your assertion that you are main event material is just ridiculous. Yes, you ran in on an Aggression main event... but anyone can do a run-in, kid. Nate Logan can do a run-in. Hellfighter can do a run-in. Reuben Fasco can do a run-in. That doesn't make them main eventers, does it? No... it makes them people who have done a run-in.
And for the record,your match at Black Dawn was NOT main event material - it was the fourth match on the card. That is, BELOW ME. My match WAS the main event. Not "a match that could very well be main event"... the REAL MAIN EVENT. And if you want to talk about the critics, take a look at the popular newsletters and you'll see that they're rating the match between Beast and I much higher than your little match. I'm sure your match could've been better... but with Douglas and my homeboy Clapper forced to carry dead weight like you, they did the best they could.
MEANWHILE... While you barely snuck by a four-way match in the MIDCARD of a Pay-Per-View... I was main-eventing the thing and winning the title, not to mention fighting my way through the entire World Title tournament and running undefeated since January 20th. So exactly how have you performed at a main event level and I haven't?
And exactly how do you always win things of your own accord when you would have LOST THE MATCH were it not for Beast's appearance? Don't give me that bullsh*t about capitalizing on an opening, either, because if you deserved to be facing me you wouldn't have needed an opening.
In short: You're full of sh*t and unfit to step into my presence.
Unless, of course, you're polishing my boots.
Go ahead and take as many breaks as you want. But the only thing you're going to take from ME is a firm beating and a little Reality Check of your own. And that reality check goes like this. YOU ARE NOT MAIN EVENT CALIBER. YOU ARE NOT IN MY LEAGUE.
Then again, few people are.
Now get out of here and go dream about my title some more.
It's the closest you'll ever get to it.
(FADEOUT)
Sands: Oh, Cam, Cam, Cam. I had no idea your promos could be so much fun. All those recycled wrestling cliches and lines borrowed from people who can actually cut original material... Priceless. So I missed the point, eh? What point was there to miss? You took a joke I made pretty much offhand and rambled for five minutes about it as if I were serious. Sounds to me like someone else around here has missed the point of something, eh?
Your assertion that you are main event material is just ridiculous. Yes, you ran in on an Aggression main event... but anyone can do a run-in, kid. Nate Logan can do a run-in. Hellfighter can do a run-in. Reuben Fasco can do a run-in. That doesn't make them main eventers, does it? No... it makes them people who have done a run-in.
And for the record,your match at Black Dawn was NOT main event material - it was the fourth match on the card. That is, BELOW ME. My match WAS the main event. Not "a match that could very well be main event"... the REAL MAIN EVENT. And if you want to talk about the critics, take a look at the popular newsletters and you'll see that they're rating the match between Beast and I much higher than your little match. I'm sure your match could've been better... but with Douglas and my homeboy Clapper forced to carry dead weight like you, they did the best they could.
MEANWHILE... While you barely snuck by a four-way match in the MIDCARD of a Pay-Per-View... I was main-eventing the thing and winning the title, not to mention fighting my way through the entire World Title tournament and running undefeated since January 20th. So exactly how have you performed at a main event level and I haven't?
And exactly how do you always win things of your own accord when you would have LOST THE MATCH were it not for Beast's appearance? Don't give me that bullsh*t about capitalizing on an opening, either, because if you deserved to be facing me you wouldn't have needed an opening.
In short: You're full of sh*t and unfit to step into my presence.
Unless, of course, you're polishing my boots.
Go ahead and take as many breaks as you want. But the only thing you're going to take from ME is a firm beating and a little Reality Check of your own. And that reality check goes like this. YOU ARE NOT MAIN EVENT CALIBER. YOU ARE NOT IN MY LEAGUE.
Then again, few people are.
Now get out of here and go dream about my title some more.
It's the closest you'll ever get to it.
(FADEOUT)
TSiegel
I spoil things.
(Cruise, in front of an EPW blue and while backdrop.)
CRUISE: Sands, you have a lousy sense of judgement, you know that?
You talk about how you made a joke off-hand, when half the promo, you're just about as interested in watching it as a baby kitten likes playing with a ball of yarn.
Admit it, you sick-o. Whenever you're not scrubbing your clothes on that belt, you're sitting at home, wishing that Miko Lee, Jenna Jameson, Ron Jeremy, and lord-knows-who-else were with you, it's because of the fact that no one wants to hang out with you. Let alone go out on a date. Gee, could it be because just about everyone HATES you? Could it be because you're so lame and ill-equipped with the proper tools, that you can't even get a date or go out dancing, to which that might even be POSSIBLE?
I'd like to think so.
Perhaps maybe if you took you're head out of your a** long enough and looked around, you'd see that the universe DOESN'T revolve around you.
But no, you're too self-centered and self-rightous to even give that the time of day.
First off, I thought it was pretty clear when I came down to take care of Suicide, that things were NOT getting done around here. If they were....would there even BE people scurrying for their lockers when Suicide was around?
No.
If they were, would there even be a need to BAN that bastard's finisher?
No.
But instead of things getting taken care of and even BEATING it into him...everyone cowered when they were approached about calming down Suicide.
Therefore, since I had to go out of my way to fix things myself....don't even bother to TRY and pass that sh*t of you're own, as what could've happened.
Fasco, Hellfighter, and Logan very well could have done what I did, this part is true. Hell, even the (Bleep)in' Leprechaun himself, could've done what I did.
But the main part of the fact is Christian....
They DIDN'T.
No one got off there over-paid-gimpy-pimply-rear-end, and did anything.
To even have to say that someone not even officially on the roster had to even make an ATTEMPT ....well that's pretty much pathetic.
So what if one or two critics gave your match bigger ratings than mine. I really could give two sh*ts less about those two.
You obviously once again missed my point.
I mentioned that most of the critics watching could have givin' it the Main Event rating that you received.
MOST of them, Christian. Most, meaning the majority out there besides the one or two you looked at.
Now, just because I said that, doesn't mean I believe it for one second, because like I said, I could give two sh*ts less about what they think. I'm talking about overall results.
That being said Sands, don't think for one second that I don't think for one second that you can't provide me with the challenge needed to win that belt.
Don't mistake that, and don't mistake it for even one second.
I know you can wrestle Christian. It goes without saying because of the belt you have around your waist.
I also know it because I've SEEN it.
But the fact of the matter is, I don't care about the fifteen times you had to beat Brown, or the ten other times you had to beat Marx, or Daymon, or the Easter Bunny coming in early.
The point is Christian, is that you have that belt for a reason, and that the fact is you can actually WRESTLE....is reason enough for me.
Now, am I saying that I was never on the verge of losing my title shot?
No, of course not, quite the contrary.
But you can't even dare tell me that you can sit there calling the kettle black, because if I remember correctly....you used the same opportunity yourself, before you were Champion.
Chump.
Have a hard time remembering? Perhaps, I should help you out then.
AGAIN.
You took advantage of the lights going out in a match with Karl Brown, and dazed or not....was able to take him out with the 'Blaster and get the win.
Now you can't sit their and tell me you wouldn't do it again, had you the chance.
Because we both know you would.
Just like, if you get distracted...dizzy....have you're period right there in the ring....whatever it may be....I won't hesitate to clothesline you out of your boots.
Because that's the way it is.
However, perhaps you are right in one aspect. I may not be in your league. Hell, I may not even be in your own world or for that matter, universe.
Then again, you might be the only one else that IS .
That, my precious little bastard of our champion....is a reality check...that you just...won't like.
Fade.
CRUISE: Sands, you have a lousy sense of judgement, you know that?
You talk about how you made a joke off-hand, when half the promo, you're just about as interested in watching it as a baby kitten likes playing with a ball of yarn.
Admit it, you sick-o. Whenever you're not scrubbing your clothes on that belt, you're sitting at home, wishing that Miko Lee, Jenna Jameson, Ron Jeremy, and lord-knows-who-else were with you, it's because of the fact that no one wants to hang out with you. Let alone go out on a date. Gee, could it be because just about everyone HATES you? Could it be because you're so lame and ill-equipped with the proper tools, that you can't even get a date or go out dancing, to which that might even be POSSIBLE?
I'd like to think so.
Perhaps maybe if you took you're head out of your a** long enough and looked around, you'd see that the universe DOESN'T revolve around you.
But no, you're too self-centered and self-rightous to even give that the time of day.
First off, I thought it was pretty clear when I came down to take care of Suicide, that things were NOT getting done around here. If they were....would there even BE people scurrying for their lockers when Suicide was around?
No.
If they were, would there even be a need to BAN that bastard's finisher?
No.
But instead of things getting taken care of and even BEATING it into him...everyone cowered when they were approached about calming down Suicide.
Therefore, since I had to go out of my way to fix things myself....don't even bother to TRY and pass that sh*t of you're own, as what could've happened.
Fasco, Hellfighter, and Logan very well could have done what I did, this part is true. Hell, even the (Bleep)in' Leprechaun himself, could've done what I did.
But the main part of the fact is Christian....
They DIDN'T.
No one got off there over-paid-gimpy-pimply-rear-end, and did anything.
To even have to say that someone not even officially on the roster had to even make an ATTEMPT ....well that's pretty much pathetic.
So what if one or two critics gave your match bigger ratings than mine. I really could give two sh*ts less about those two.
You obviously once again missed my point.
I mentioned that most of the critics watching could have givin' it the Main Event rating that you received.
MOST of them, Christian. Most, meaning the majority out there besides the one or two you looked at.
Now, just because I said that, doesn't mean I believe it for one second, because like I said, I could give two sh*ts less about what they think. I'm talking about overall results.
That being said Sands, don't think for one second that I don't think for one second that you can't provide me with the challenge needed to win that belt.
Don't mistake that, and don't mistake it for even one second.
I know you can wrestle Christian. It goes without saying because of the belt you have around your waist.
I also know it because I've SEEN it.
But the fact of the matter is, I don't care about the fifteen times you had to beat Brown, or the ten other times you had to beat Marx, or Daymon, or the Easter Bunny coming in early.
The point is Christian, is that you have that belt for a reason, and that the fact is you can actually WRESTLE....is reason enough for me.
Now, am I saying that I was never on the verge of losing my title shot?
No, of course not, quite the contrary.
But you can't even dare tell me that you can sit there calling the kettle black, because if I remember correctly....you used the same opportunity yourself, before you were Champion.
Chump.
Have a hard time remembering? Perhaps, I should help you out then.
AGAIN.
You took advantage of the lights going out in a match with Karl Brown, and dazed or not....was able to take him out with the 'Blaster and get the win.
Now you can't sit their and tell me you wouldn't do it again, had you the chance.
Because we both know you would.
Just like, if you get distracted...dizzy....have you're period right there in the ring....whatever it may be....I won't hesitate to clothesline you out of your boots.
Because that's the way it is.
However, perhaps you are right in one aspect. I may not be in your league. Hell, I may not even be in your own world or for that matter, universe.
Then again, you might be the only one else that IS .
That, my precious little bastard of our champion....is a reality check...that you just...won't like.
Fade.