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Cruise v Hart


Jan 1, 2000
San Francisco, CA
You Want Me to Do WHAT?!

* Shawn Hart RP for C14.


A swanky apartment in downtown Tokyo - Evening

Former New Era Champion and the champion of our hearts, Pro Wrestling's SJH is taking a bath. Flanked by a rubber ducky, PowerPuff Girls shower cap and Mr. Bubbles, the Phenom seems to be enjoying his "me time."

❤: "Rubber ducky, I love you!! Rubber ducky, something something goo!"

Suddenly a phone rings. SJH reaches off-camera and procures a brick-style cell phone straight out of 1994.

❤: "You got 'im! .............Yes.............. Yesssssss.................. WHAT?! Nooooooo!"

The Phenom grimaces. Clearly he is not receiving good news.

❤: "No ma'am, I'm not! New Era can't come back and I simply CANNOT go back to it! You know as well as I do that I'm in the Land of the Rising Sun and..... what?! BAH! If they find out what I-WE'VE been doing over here since the place shut down, I'm going to have a whole hell of a lot more to worry about than some esoteric contractual clause from five years ago. We're talking coffee-burn level legislation! It's a matter of intellectual property rights and I-"

Hart's diatribe is stopped in its tracks. His lower lips begins to droop.

❤: "How much? ................Really................ and I get to slap the lame right off of Cameron Cruise's face? I've been waiting years to rid the Earth of his JACKHOLERY! You think you could get Marceau to personally greet me at the airport when I land? Get her in one of those lacy, black th-"

Swing.... and a miss.

❤: "Oh. Yeah, I s'pose she's not one to do that kind of thing. Still, if I do this...we do have one problem..."

Hart gives his ducky a gentle push then follows its course as it glides across the bubble-laden waters.

❤: "Yep, him. We've been cleaning up over here like one of those used-panty dispensing machines. If New Era is truly back and bringin' the lot of us in, he and I are probably going to have to find a new source of income, y'know what I'm sayin'? ...........Right........I mean, I have been itching to get back stateside and begin work on that Metta World Peace documentary, but you don't know what it's like over here. Does the phrase tentacle hentai mean anything to you?"

An impish grin graces Hart's face. It departs seconds later when his question is obviously met with something less than the enthusiasm he expected.

❤: "Right. Well, OK... I'll let him know, but he's not going to be happy. Truth be told, it's probably good that I'm escaping the grind, but another turn with those French Canadian suckers isn't quite what I had in mind. ...............Yep. Will do............... You know I am. We'll talk later then................ Late."

Hart tosses the phone away, procures his rubber friend from the waters and holds it before his face.

❤: "Well Mr. Ooobi-doobi, looks like it's time to get back on that horse!!"


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