"Da Bomb" Mike Evers vs. Irishred

[DBrunkGXW]

Post all RP here!

 

[MikeEvers]

Scene opens with Mike Evers and Wisconsin Bill outside the Toyota Center in Houston, Texas following the events of Aggression.

Mike Evers: Tonight, I was prepared to wrestle two great, warm-hearted people in Ms. Starr and Ms. Foxx. However, we had a little twist. I like twists, they keep things exciting. That's what I want, for the fans to be excited. Anyway, instead of wrestling two beautiful souls, Mr. Smallz had another idea - that he wanted to wrestle two "hot chickies." Mr. Smallz, I really don't understand you. I mean, at first, I was a little weary because for firsts, you are a shifty individual. Then, I realized your sole motive was to be perverted. That was not what I wished to do. I wished to have a great match, and either way, that's the way it ended up. I had a great match... with Adam Benjamin, the EPW Television Champion.

Wisconsin Bill: D*$% it, Mike. I felt we made the right decision. And we did make it. As a team. In your second match in Empire Pro, you were almost able to capture one of its most prestigious championships.

Mike Evers: Wisconsin Bill, you have a point. Although I'm not sure about saying it's that prestigious, because it's a new title, and it's still got to make its name in the EPW... But that's what I want to do... I want to make that championship <i>mean something</i>. Whether it's for putting my name in the contendership for it, or if it's for making those matches the best on the show, or for winning it. Adam, you defeated me tonight, by hook or by crook, and I respect that. Anyone who can defeat me, I would hope is quite an accomplished wrestler. If I was to get defeated by a lesser competitor, I would need to go back and train even harder than my hardest to get back on my game. You are not someone who I am ashamed of losing to, Adam.

Wisconsin Bill: I think the %$#*#%'s jealous of you.

Mike Evers: I think I need to wash my ears now, but anyway, I do sense some jealousy. It's true, Adam. I got a better reaction than you. But there's no need to get bitter about it... I think you just need to try harder next time, and maybe the fans will accept you more. As far as why they cheer me, Adam, well... the only thing I can think of is because I relate to them. Lots of people are like Mike Evers. I'm the guy that tries hard and all he wants is your respect, the EPW's respect, the fans' respect. I am not in the EPW for the money. I do not want to win championships for the money. I love wrestling, not money. I can make a lot more money doing other things besides wrestling.

Wisconsin Bill: So can I.

Mike Evers: Oh, really? What would you do?

Wisconsin Bill: Always wanted to direct %&*@^ movies.

Mike Evers: Well, that's sort of a private thing, don't you think?

Wisconsin Bill: %^#@ that $#!&.

Mike Evers: Where's a Q-Tip when you need one?

Wisconsin Bill: Up my @$$.

Mike Evers: Wisconsin Bill, you have the rudest sense of humour I've ever witnessed.

Wisconsin Bill: So do you want to wrestle that Ben guy again?

Mike Evers: Oh, yeah. Of course. First and foremost, it'd be a great match. I think we could both put an even better effort forward if we were prepared. Then there's the TV Title, unless he loses it to Ms. Starr, which I can see happening. You know, she deserves it. Infact, I can't wait to watch that match!

Wisconsin Bill: Well, you'll have to wait.

Mike Evers: Why?

Wisconsin Bill: Well, ya've got a match.

Mike Evers: When?

Wisconsin Bill: Onslaught.

Mike Evers: Against whom?

Wisconsin Bill: Irishred.

Mike Evers: A newcomer?

Wisconsin Bill: Yuppers.

Mike Evers: Ahhh, a newcomer. You know, I was once a newcomer... Infact, in some people's eyes, I still am. Irishred, I'm going to help show you what the EPW is about. I'm going to go out there, I'm going to help you through the match and we're going to have fun. That's what we need more of in wrestling - fun. And if I pin you or make you tap, I will be able to show Adam Benjamin and the EPW office that I am as worthy, if not more worthy, of the Television Championship as Adam is.

Wisconsin Bill: Ya think you'll get another shot so soon?

Mike Evers: Well, not that I'm not grateful for such a quick title shot... I can wait my turn. I am a patient man, Wisconsin Bill.

Wisconsin Bill: That ya're.

Mike Evers: Irishred, Adam Benjamin, the rest of the EPW... get ready to feel... Da Bomb!

Scene fades to black.

 

[irishred]

The camera comes up on A1E and UCW superstar Irishred smoking a cigar. He is only seen from the neck up.
The camera pans away and we see that Irishred is standing in front of a card table. Stacked on the card table in front of him are large pieces of tag board. Irishred has a **** eating grin on his face as he begins to talk.

Mike Evers...welcome to my part of the show. This is where I will basically ignore you.

Why? Because firstly you're Mike Evers and who gives a damn about you. I don't even know you. I kind of like that Wisconsin Bill guy though. I kind of like him a lot. He reminds me of most of my family truth be told.

Now I'm sure you had a nice little match last week with someone else I have never heard of for a belt that doesn't mean anything.

I'm sure you're full of the spit and vinegar that most newbies are. Son...I'm not a newbie. Not at all. I've been doing this my whole adult life. In fact...

Irishred reaches down and lifts up the first piece of tag board. In huge letters it reads.

Coming to you live on a new day and time from the Ice Palace at the St. Pete Times Forum in Tampa Florida it's UCW revolution. Tune in and see Irishred face The First and Big Gay Bruce for the UCW Heavyweight title.

See here's the thing Mike, nothing against you, hell you haven't accomplished anything of note so how could I hold anything against you? You're not Dan Ryan. I came to this federation with one goal in mind. Destroy Dan Ryan.

Now how do you hurt Dan Ryan? Hmmmmm. Let's see. I've been in the ring with him 4 times once as my partner and in two three way dances. Then I faced and defeated him one on one on...

Irishred holds up another card that reads...

UCW Revolution don't miss all the action live on ESPN at a new day and time Saturday's at 9:00 pm.

So you see Mike I can defeat our boss. You won't be much of a problem. I know you really want to excite the crowd and make a great showing. But how about this instead. How about we just slow things down there a little bit. How about we give the fans a match they want to turn away from. Let's do our part and help the fans. Really. Think about it.

They will have plenty of action. I think during our match they should feel free to turn the channel, go to the concession stand, use their cell phone or maybe they could download...

Irishred holds up another card that reads...

TEAM Invitational Tournament Regional Final Round
Live from the Rose Garden, Portland, OR

The Card

PHILADELPHIA FINAL: Hida Yakamo vs. Karl "The Dragon" Brown
CALGARY FINAL: WildStar vs. Mr. Entertainment
GREENSBORO FINAL: The Jackass piece of dog **** owner of EPW vs. James Irish
ST. LOUIS FINAL: Victor Molotov vs. Beast

I mean really Mike. Let's think of the fans here. They will need to have a break especially after having watched...

Irishred hold up another poster. This one reads.

A1E Tuesday Night Warfare.

Yup Mike I think this will work out fine.

Danny...I'm putting you out of business. You see that's how to truly hurt Dan Ryan. Oh I know you can wrestle. I know you can take any pain I dish out to you. But hows your pocket book doing Danny. You can make me face whoever you want. But remember dumb ass...you're giving me air time. I'll do whatever I want with that air time.

You wanted the shooter Irishred. You wanted Mr. Intensity Irishred. Watch my match with Mike Evers closely Dan. You will experience whole new levels of complete boredom. That I guarantee.

Irishred takes a log drag off of his cigar and blows smoke at the camera as the screen fades to black.

 

[MikeEvers]

Scene opens in Mike Evers' living room after watching Irishred's comments regarding his match with him at EPW Onslaught. He sits on a chair, alongside his manager, the controversial and always candid, Wisconsin Bill. There is a coffee table inbetween them. Mike has a glass of milk sitting on it, while Wisconsin Bill has a can of Old Milwaukee.

Mike Evers: Irishred... Did I just see what I thought I saw? Did I hear what I thought I heard? I have only been in Empire Pro a short time, but I'm not a rookie, and I have never seen anyone - anyone at all - show so much disrespect in such a short span of time. It really sickens me that someone would bring themselves down to that level just to get over. Just so they can get a negative reaction from the fans. Well, guess what, Irishred. They're not going to ignore you... They are going to hate your guts. And you know what I think? I think Joe and Jill Average are going to pay admission to see you lose, and at this second Onslaught event, that happens to be against me.

Mike sips his milk.

Wisconsin Bill: And he referred me to as almost one of his kin!

Mike Evers: That made me want to take a bath! Actually, I think I will after this interview. Just verbal filth, all around, Irishred. It disgusted me to hear you talk the way you do. You ask who cares about me? Well, that's what I'm out there to do... I am out there to get as many of the EPW loyal fans to care about me and accept me as a member of the Empire Pro family.

Wisconsin Bill: What about this thing he's got with Dan Ryan?

Mike spits out his milk.

Mike Evers: Oh, Wisconsin Bill... I just cringed. Irishred, you seem to be obsessed with getting revenge on Dan Ryan. "Titles don't matter, fans don't matter, only Dan Ryan matters." Mr. Red, let me make one thing perfectly clear - the fans matter more than you ever will, or I will for that matter. They're the ones who pay for our contracts. They're the ones who fill the arenas... Would you like to wrestle in an empty arena? That's why we wrestle... To induce a reaction from the crowd. When you get a good crowd reaction, there is no better feeling in the world, which I have experienced. There is nothing more important to me than pleasing those fans, and if they want to go out to the concession stands during our match, I want to make them regret leaving, and to say "next time Mike Evers is wrestling Irishred, I don't want to blink!"

Wisconsin Bill: Remind me to walk by selling eyedrops when that happens.

Mike Evers: Irishred, you need to grab hold of the big picture. And that is, when you are here in Empire Pro Wrestling, the most prominent thing that matters is what is happening or what has happened in the EPW ring.

Wisconsin Bill: That's right, Irishred. As far as the EPW goes, you are as new as they come.

Mike Evers: You are a petty person, Irishred. You have no conscience or values... You don't seem to care about anything. Why are you here? Revenge never settles anything. It just makes one bitter. You lose part of yourself when you become bitter, Irishred.

Wisconsin Bill: It's a real shame.

Wisconsin Bill chugs his beer.

Mike Evers: Irishred, you may have been around the block a few times, but you still have a lot to learn. I'm going to teach you as much as I possibly can and try to recover the good soul within your being... If I'm successful or not, though, you are going to have to feel... Da Powerbomb!

Scene fades to black as Wisconsin Bill is still chugging away.

 

[irishred]

Irishred is in his locker room. He wears an MBE Cup T-shirt.


So Mikey. I have upset your sensibilities have I? I must say I'm touched that one so new to the business cares so deeply. Let me set you straight on a few things here.

I love this business. I have given everything I have in me to this business. I have bled on mats all over the country. I have woken up in more hospitals then hotels. I have been a champion and a curtain jerker; but I always gave 100 percent in that ring. I didn't do it for the fans. I did it for the business.

I did it to honor the men that came before me. I did it to honor the spirit of the fight. I did it to honor my past. I grew up fighting for everything I have. I have always been and always will be a scrapper. It's part of who I am. I live for the fight. I live for the competition. I live for the violance.

But you see there's men like Dan Ryan out there who don't understand people like me. They have never had to struggle. They get things handed to them. They just walk all over people. That's why I have made it my mission to destroy him from within his own company.

You have the misfortune of being in the way kid. Bad timing on your part. Have no doubt that I am going to beat your ass Mikey. I'm gonna give you all you can handle in that ring. I'm going to make it my personal mission to teach you about pain. That's what this business is about son. It's not about playing nice for the fans. It's not about the titles. It's not about making Dan Ryan richer. Wrestling is about pain.

This isn't playtime kid. This is a fight. You understand that right? I mean you do realize that this is a violent business that we work in.

You don't have to worry about saving my soul. You don't have to worry about turning me to the light side of the force. You need to worry about saving your career. There are a million ways that I can hurt you son...nice and slow. I can hurt you in so many slow, painful, boring ways.

This will be a whole new page in your life Mikey. You will be the first victim in my guerilla warfare on Dan Ryan. You and I will have the lowest rated match in EPW history and along the way you're gonna get pinned. That's a straight shot you can count on.

 

[MikeEvers]

Scene opens with "Da Bomb" Mike Evers, dressed up like a Headmaster, infront of a chartboard with a blank piece of paper infront of it.

Mike Evers: Mr. Irish, I must apologize. I personally feel that I have been a little too harsh with you. Maybe a little bit of your coldheartedness has frozen up my lightheartedness. I'm not sure, but it's wrong to blame you anyway. It is entirely my fault, and again I apologize. I think we come to a disagreement, however, on what wrestling is. Wrestling isn't about fighting; it's not about pain... Wrestling is a form of entertainment, and it is our job to entertain fans. Anyone can win a match, but when you can entertain the fans, you have a career for life. And don't speak to me like I don't know this business, or like I don't love this business. I may not be the most experienced grappler, but by no means am I fresh off the training camp.

Mike smiles.

Mike Evers: Let's begin the lesson. Wisconsin Bill!

Enter, stage right, Wisconsin Bill. He is dressed... well, as normal. He is holding a pointing stick.

Mike Evers: Today, fans, we learn about the Republic of Ireland. Gaining its independence from the United Kingdom in late 1922, Ireland has been at war with... well, themselves. It got really ugly in the 70s, I'll tell you that much.

Wisconsin Bill: I remember.

Mike Evers: Ireland is divided into 26 counties.

As Mike announces each one, Wisconsin Bill points to it.

Mike Evers: You've got... Let's see if I can remember alphabetically... Carlow... Cavan, Clare... Ummm, Cork... Donegal, Dublin -- of course, Galware, Kerry, Kilken -- Kildare, then Kilkenny...

Wisconsin Bill: Oh my god! You killed Kenny!

Mike Evers: I'm not saying it, Wisconsin Bill.

Wisconsin Bill chuckles.

Mike Evers: Laois, Leitrim, Limerick...

Wisconsin Bill: I once knew a girl from Nantucket... I said to myself I should f*&% it...

Mike cuts him off.

Mike Evers: Whoa, whoa! Let me finish before you dirty my promo with obscenities! We've got Longford...

Wisconsin Bill: I had a long Ford once. Back in the 70s.

Mike Evers: Louth, Mayo...

Wisconsin Bill: Makin' me hungry!

Mike Evers: Meath... Monaghan, Offaly... Then there's, uhhh... Roscommon, Sligo... Tipperary... Waterford... Westmeath, Wexford and Wicklow.

Wisconsin Bill: That was good... Only wasted like seven minutes of my time!

Mike Evers: Wisconsin Bill... You have something about Ireland to add?

Wisconsin Bill: They're all a bunch a' green wearin' red haired drunken leprechauns...

Mike Evers: Hmm?

Wisconsin Bill: That said... I kinda like 'em.

Mike Evers: Wisconsin Bill, none of those stereotypes are real. There are Irish people with blond hair or dark hair...

Wisconsin Bill: Like Colin Farrell. Doesn't he have a new flick comin' out?

Mike Evers: I... guess...?

Wisconsin Bill: You don't know $h!t.

Mike Evers: Ahem... uh, let's get back to wrestling.

Wisconsin Bill: Sure thing, boss.

Mike Evers: Mr. Irish, nothing you say has any merit. We can all tell it comes from a bitter man. Nothing you say is really what you mean. You want to hold a grudge against our owner? It's not my business how much money he makes. He pays me X amount of dollars to go out there and wrestle, and that's exactly what I plan to do. What that means is that I am going to take you to school... Heh, heh... You may be a "veteran," but you still have oodles and oodles to learn. I'll show you submission moves you've never seen before and then I'll show you the arena lights as you lay on the mat, motionless. You want to come into Empire Pro and act like you're the best thing since sliced bread? Well, I've got news for you... You'll never be anywhere as good as sliced bread!

The camera pans over to the left, where you see a table. On the table is a plate, and on the plate is a sandwich.

Mike Evers: Well, I am kind of hungry...

Mike makes his way over, pulls up a chair and sits down.

Mike Evers: Mr. Irish, this right here... Holds the sandwich up for the camera.... is way better than you!

Mike takes a big bite out of it.

Wisconsin Bill: Off-screen Irishred, prepare to feel Da Bomb!

Scene fades to black, with Mike chewing away.

Mike Evers: Mmm...

 

[irishred]

So this is how you entertain the fans is it. I guess that I just don't get it then because I certainly was not entertained.


That was the biggest pile of crap that I have ever seen. The only bit of truth in that whole promo was Bill saying it was a waste of time. The best performance came from the sandwich. It at least stayed true to character.

You can call me bitter all you want. I probably am. **** that I know that I am. But here's the thing Mikey. I have earned this bitterness. I've been at this long enough to have seen how things are really done. I have seen people like Dan Ryan, The Spoiler, Hida Yakamo, Richard Farnswirth hold down people more talented with their stroke backstage.

You don't believe me look at the facts. I debuted at the same time as the Highland Park Social Club and where are they wrestling? Are they here with you and I on the warm up show. **** no. They are in the big time. Do they deserve it more then me? Oh hell no. But there they are spreading around their money and stroke to make sure they don't look bad.

That's how the business works greenhorn. Grow up fast and you might learn something from me. That's why I have to work twice as hard. That's why I have to leave my blood and sweat in every arena. That's why I hate Dan Ryan.

You are really starting to irritate me with your stupidity. I mean you were kind of cute with that freshly washed baby aura at first; but now I simply cannot stomach your nietivity. You are a complete moron if you think for one moment you are going to intimidate me with your little threats of teaching me submission moves.

Jesus ****ing christ I just wrestled in a Ring of Fire match and got a bunch of my body burned. I've been thrown on thumb tacks. I've had my head split open with crowbars. I've lost teeth on concrete in Winnipeg. You're gonna scare me with threats.

You idiot. You simple minded idiot.

I made my intentions very clear to you son. I AM going to ruin this company and in the process ruin it's owner. All you had to do was play along and have a slow and boring little match with me. But NOOooooooooo. You're gonna play to the crowd and be their little hero. You're going to suck up to Dan and show him you're a real team player.

All you have actually accomplished is pissing me off enough to really want to hurt you.

Wrestling is about pain kid. I'm gonna make sure you learn that lesson well this week. Then you come and do your little comedy skits. Then you will have earned the right to talk the **** you are.

Until then shut up and be ready for a beat down.

 

[MikeEvers]

Scene opens in Mike Evers' hotel room in San Antonio, Texas. It's a nice room, with one bed. There is a table which Mike Evers is sitting at, with a glass of milk infront of him. He has a ponderous look on his face.

Mike Evers: Mr. Irish... I don't do promos looking for a good review from my opponent. I don't speak with the purpose of impressing you. I speak to make my message clear, and tell you why I am here, who I am and what I want. It's the same thing you do. That's one of the only things we have in common, Mr. Irish. I consider myself to be a grateful person who respects those who have given me a chance. Call me a suck-up if you want, because I'm sure you can do much worse.

Mike takes a folded up sheet of paper out of his back pocket, unfolds it and lays it out on the table.

Mike Evers: Do you think you deserve to be the best in this business? It seems to me you think you're not among the best, you think you're better than the best. And I think you have an inflated opinion of yourself. Mr. Irish, if you deserved to be where guys like Dan Ryan or Hida Yakamo are, then you would be there. It's really that simple. Now you have been given a place in what was voted the top promotion in this business and you're already complaining that your first match in untelevised. It may not be seen by millions of viewers, but that doesn't make it any less important. Have you ever worked a day in your life? You probably have. You know what it's like to put those long hours in... do it eight hours a day, five or six days a week... You only have so much money left after expenses. From there, you take your take home pay and you buy a ticket -- a ticket to an Empire Pro Wrestling event. Then it's my job to make sure that as many of those people who buy those tickets as possible leave the event without regret of their purchase. As I said, you may be a veteran, but you don't understand that they are what matter. Not your petty feuds with fedheads, not where you are on the card... Your job is to provide the best entertainment possible, not blabber on about how you're here to ruin the EPW. The EPW cannot be ruined by any one man.

Mike sips his milk.

Mike Evers: My personal belief is that the name of the game is wrestling. It isn't a brawl, it isn't a street fight... A Ring of Fire match, that's fine if that's what the fans want, but it's just a gimmick and no gimmick match can compare to a nice, crisp wrestling match. You can talk about your injuries... lost teeth, hundreds of stitches... It happens in this business, you're not the only one who has taken a beating night in and night out, Mr. Irish.

Mike holds up the sheet of paper. It's the match listing of the Onslaught show.

Mike Evers: When I signed to wrestle you, I did not expect you to be this outspoken. Most wrestlers would die at a chance to have an opponent want to take them to limit in a highly competitive contest. Wrestling holds, maybe a little high flying action... And you never know, maybe some brawling as well. A nice balance is always good. I may not be the most fit guy out there, but I can do almost anything inside the ring. Well, maybe not the insane stuff, but it doesn't matter since other guys and gals can do that.

Mike sips his milk again.

Mike Evers: That's why you confuse me, Mr. Irish. But at the same time, you intrigue me. What was done to you, like... what happened to you to make you such a jerk? Ever since I came here, I've made it abundantly clear that I am here to work with people... I am here to put on a better show... I can't become best friends with everyone in the lockerroom - that's impossible - but I can show respect towards everyone and hope they display the same respect. It doesn't matter whether you are a "fan favorite" or a "rulebreaker," I think I can find something in common with most everybody and make a connection with them.

Mike puts his elbow on the table and his fist to his chin.

Mike Evers: Then there's you. You act all tough. "Be ready for a beat down." Uh-huh. Thanks for the warm reception, Mr. Pleasant. There's got to be something deeply rooted in there which is the cause of all this absurdity. Here you are, swearing... using His name in vain... Yes, a good ol' fashion wrestling lesson could do you some good, but maybe a new personality would do you even better. It's something to think about.

The door shuts.

Mike Evers: Look, everybody! It's Wisconsin Bill!

The camera pans over, revealing Wisconsin Bill. Cue canned applause.

Wisconsin Bill: He -- Begins to speak before the applause stops.

Applause stops.

Wisconsin Bill: Hey Mike! Did I miss anything?

Mike Evers: Nope... Nothing.

Wisconsin Bill: Good.

Scene fades to black as Mike takes another sip of his milk and Wisconsin Bill takes off his jacket.