The Adventures of John Doe!!!!
[Fade in as the cameras are facing a screen then out of the middle of the screen comes the words “The Adventures of John Doe”, from the side comes a clay animated figure of John Doe.]
Voice over: THE ADVENTURES OF JOHN DOE! Episode I, Fear the Storm. We join are hero as he is walking through a park, his fight with the evil enemy Bryan Storms has John on his toes at all time…
[CUT TO: The little animated clay figure of John Doe walking through a park, the figure is wearing a superman outfit instead of a big red S there is the letters JD. John halts in his path as the sky starts to turn black.]
Animated Doe: What is that? Looks like a storm is coming! Wait a minute it maybe my arch rival [zoom in on animated John Doe’s face]
SFX: Dah, Dah, Dah!!!
Doe :Bryan…Storms.
[From the sky drops down Aodhan Lorigan (animated) in a blue superhero suite with a big fist on the front, Lorigan is wearing a mask and all the superhero gear.]
Animated Lorigan: What is it Super Doe? Is it the idiotic Bryan “The New Icon” Storms?
Animated Doe: It may be, I can tell the sky is changing and our fight maybe under way. I must stop this foe before anyone becomes as stupid as him!
Animated Lorigan: I will help you fight Super Doe! I must stop this foe as well before he hurts many people with his stupid talking!
Animated Doe: No Super Lorigan I must fight by myself, this maybe one of the must dangerous matches I have come across.
Animated Lorigan: Ok Super Doe, I will leave [Aodhan jumps in the sky and disappears.]
Animated Doe: Where are you stupid foe! I think you are in the sky where are you! Appear in front of me because I must help this town.
[In the distance a women is heard screaming. CUT TO: Bryan Storms in an all black suite with a black cape, he is laughing as he talks to the women.]
Animated Storms: I will use you as bait to get John Doe over here and when he does I will make him say “I Quit”, ha, ha, ha!
[Doe jumps into the air and appears in front of his nemesis Bryan Storms. Storms drops the women as she flees. John stares down Storms, Storms does the same.]
Animated Doe: Storms….
Animated Storms: Doe…
Animated Doe: So, you must use innocent civilians to try and get me to find you? Proves you truly are the scum of the earth.
Animated Storms: You never learned did you Doe? I am better than you and I always will be.
Animated Doe: What do you want me to do say I’m sorry?
Animated Storms: No I expect you to say I Quit! Let’s get this over with Doe! I am ready!
[Doe lunges at Storms, Storms lunges at Doe, they tie up s the Cartoon does a freeze shot]
Voice over: Does Doe defeat Bryan Storms to make him say I quit? Or does Storms finally defeat our hero! Stay tuned for more stories of “THE ADVENTURES OF JOHN DOE!
[CUT TO: John Doe sitting in a leather seat clapping, mocking Bryan Storms.]
Doe: Well, what you think of it Bryan, I think it is very, very, very well done, better than your promotion! God I really honestly hate you guts Storms! I never felt this much hate, except for Jean Rabesque, god I hate that man. Well Storms well me tell you something I am not ignorant, if anyone is ignorant it is you my friend. Well, let me break it down for you easy and simple, I am a bit crazy, insane as you will, and no I didn’t run into a light pole and lost my memory. God d*mn it Storms I thought I tolled you crystal clear that to learn more about people before you talk sh*t. Well it’s ok Storms, it’s ok.
[The backdrop that was playing the animated cartoon now changes to John Doe’s entrance video.]
Doe: Let’s get this straight Storms, let’s get this straight right know> I don’t like you Storms, I hate your guts. It annoys me to see you on the TV wasting airtime, using that airtime for useless, stupid, nonsensical information. You wish to mock me because of my grammar? Well! Mr. English teaching Storms, you should watch what you are saying about me and look at yourself! I mean just look at yourself, you couldn’t even comprehend what I was saying about your rich ass. See what do you need all that gold and junk for? By junk I mean that entertainment set and everything that money bought you. Why can’t you just be happy with what you got? That’s why I am better than you are, I don’t need all that stuff to feel important. I am content with this, this ring, this federation, it gives me joy, and it is all I ever wanted. While you, you all of sudden earn that money and you spend it on what ever you want thinking about yourself trying to feel important by spending useless money, that is what makes you happy. I on the other hand enjoy everything I have so far, my job.
Doe: So, you ask why so happy with my job because it has just hit a drastic change, thinks have just changed in my job. I have a match that I want to win and I Ouit match with you Storms. You have ticked me off for the last time, and I will defeat you. See, this is the problem, you say that I have my head up my ass, well good old buddy you are the one that needs a good wake up call, you are the one with his head in his ass. You are the one who thinks he is the best of the world. You think you are god of the ring! Well come Unleashed everything you thought will be discovered to be a lie, you an icon, no, no, no my friend your mother dropped way too hard on the head when you where a young one. You will never, mark my words Bryan, you will never be an icon.
[John turns to a different camera]
Doe: Well, this is where I sit and wait for you to make your promotion, which I find a complete utter bore. See you are not exciting, I am exciting, if you were like me people would be like “YAY BRYAN STORMS!” and we wouldn’t be in this predicament where I want to kick your skull in and make you say “I Quit”. This is all fine though, I don’t mind fighting it out with you, and it will be VERY interesting to see who is better one on one. Now why should I waste my time to fight you, I mean this is a waste of time to do a promotion, and a lot of money is being used on my “Adventures of John Doe” cartoon series. Which while I have to opportunity will be on UPN Saturday mornings at 9:30 AM.
[Doe smiles and looks at a different camera once again]
Doe: So, are you done with all this nonsense you through at me everyday about how you are better, how you hate me, because frankly Storms this Is going no where. You want to scream and yell at my “ranting”? Well Bryan, I think you are the one who is ranting, about stupid junk, “oh you hit your head on a lamppost, you aren’t a John Doe, you are a fake.” GROW UP! You talk like the third grader I saw walking down to street today. But it is ok it is ok. Well Bryan, I think you are a complete utter, one of a kind, the only moron in this federation called EPW, and that you really need to get a life and reexamine yourself before you can even come to the idea of stepping in the ring with me.
Doe: So let’s take this nice in slow for you bud, since you are dumb and won’t understand me if I said it to fast. Well, I…am…going…to…beat…the…living…hell…out…of…you!
Doe: Was that good enough ofr you Storms? Well let us take it in for a second, think about it Storms you versus me, one on one, no one to stop me from breaking your head in with a chair. Well storms it should be quit fun, very fun to be exact. Think about us two trying to kill each other blood is going to flow out of our bodies SWEET JESUS I CAN SEE IT ALREADY!!
Doe: Well Storms it is time for me to leave, again, and since the message lost last time I was “talking to you” I will repeat it again, this time get it straight.. Ok let me tell you something, I am not a gimmick, I do not believe in those god forsaken things, I don’t play games, I tell the truth. If you do not like the truth then you have to deal with it! I am not a gimmick, I am not a fake, I am not a person who just was run and hit the lamp post, I am John Doe, I am a wrestler, I am insane, and I am that d*mn good! So Storms, “Be Prepared, Say Your Prayers, Because the Time Is Upon You!” and above all else, when you go to sleep, when you train to wrestle me, when you step into that ring with me, just remember “I Am Not just Anyone…I AM JOHN DOE!”
[Fade to: Black]