Ode to Anglefire
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Waylon “Gorilla” Grabowski: We are back I am “Gorilla” Grabowski and you are watching -- Going Banana’s. Tonight we have a wrestling legend joining us who’s da life of da party, and is da President of e-wrestling. …A god, a brilliant man, and my guest tonight but before all dat how about a rant?
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(Grabowski sits down behind the desk and starts talking to the cameras. )
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Grabowski: Man I love when they show women running for no reason on reality shows. I wish more things would do stuff like that. You know? Hospitals, concerts, librarians, and so on.
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Announcer: Gorilla NEWS BREAK!!!! GORILLA NEWS BREAK!!!! GORILLA NEWWWWWSS BREAK!!!!!!
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[Spinning Globe graphic]
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Old black man’s voice: Awww **** man, it’s broken!
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Grabowski: Hillary Clinton resigns Secretary of State for Secretary of Starbucks!!
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Old black man’s voice: Sumbody better get that globe to stop spinnin we paying by the rotation.
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Grabowski: More to come later, but first~!
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(cue rock music)
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Grabowski: See what I mean? Huh? Gorillia Grabowski nails it again ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Ok but seriously let’s bring out my first and only guest tonight, “The Malice Man” Duke Williams.
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[Luck Be A Lady by Sinatra plays as from the back enters Duke Williams who greets Grabowski with a hug before sitting down on the coach across from him.
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Grabowski: How ya doing?
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Duke Williams: I ain’t been piss’n right lately.
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Grabowski: Yea but you’re still pissing people off?
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Duke Williams: Does the pope **** on the throne? I mean come on hoss people are easy to piss off because they are so uptight. Everything is alright! BABAY!!
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Grabowski: Don’t go all show tunes on me here, huh? We’re talking wrestling.
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Duke Williams: It’s mo-town, and nothing is straighter then that!! Not even two grown men rolling around in tights trying to pin each other.
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Grabowski: So I understand you’re in a Team wrestling tournament?
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Duke Williams: I’m in PRIME beating the hell out of NINE, and yes on the side I’m in this damn bush league tournament with a goal in mind.
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Grabowski: Which is?
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Duke Williams: Give me a damn minute here hoss and I’ll cover it all. First off last round Chris Ballbag got tea bagged by the Malice Man!! So Mote It Be! HOLLLA!!! Now this round I got some other guy who thinks’ he can handle a champion…A legend. ..A rough neck...An outlaw…a large peckered man…a ladies fellow…a real wrestler from real federations. Listen up T. Texas Taylor Rain I come from the big leagues. I come from PTC and everybody knows our pedigree. I was the world champion of PCW when it mattered, and my son went on to be the universal champion of PRIME. You’re an amateur. You’re unknown; a fart in the wind on a heady night on a large cattle farm. You know what I mean hoss? You are not worth my time, and I’m sorry you’re standing in the way of my goal.
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Grabowski: Well get to da damned goal.
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Duke Williams: Two years ago I got dicked over when the armature Dan Ryan pulled my tights and pillaged a match from me. I begged the TEAM management to commission an investigation and they refused because of where I come from. Where I come from, people fight dirty but with honor and decency. We don’t grab ass tights for wins. This man is a disgrace to the business and a swear rat. He has done in my eyes and the eyes of the main stream fan nothing of importance in our business. I want Ryan and this time I’m not playing. I’m going to at fifty years of age finish him off for good MALICE STYLE.
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Grabowski: So this is personal.
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Duke Williams: If he’s got any gull and any balls what so ever he will meet me in the final round. Till then it’s one joke after another.
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Grabowski: Join Duke Williams at the Comcast Center in College Park, Maryland to witness history as Duke Williams takes on Taylor Rayne in what could be the match of the night. I’m Waylon “Gorilla” Grabowski saying so long!
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=w=
