UnicornMask
League Member
1. EXT. CALM STREET. DAY.
A cool breeze blows down Average Street, USA. A few leaves blow in the wind. Confusion sets in for the reader since it is mid-summer, and there should not be dead leaves on the sidewalk. Traffic lights turn red, green, yellow, and then red once more. Monotony screams down this absurd boulevard of broken dreams (copywrite Greenday), but but a lone figure poses nude in the middle of the street. Nude, except for his mask. His unicorn mask. Mah mah mah mah...can't see his poker face.
Unicorn Mask (tm) slowly struts down the middle of Avergage Street, USA. A bottle of Francis Coppola's Diamond Collection Ivory Label Cabernet Sauvignon 2006 in his hand. He takes a deep pull, and continues to "WHOOOO!!!" his way down the street. A few early morning joggers and dog walkers stop to stare at the absurdity that is breaking up their consistant and mundane morning.
Unicorn Mask: "私の方法から、嫌なやつの唇がある強盗!"
Translation: "Out of my way, you dick lipped bandits!"
Unicorn Mask: "Leggo を私のとても eggo よくする!"
Translation: "You better leggo my f*cking eggo!"
The crowd parts as the Four-Post-Narwhal Face-Blasting-Machine stumbles down the road. He stops in front of a small business. The sign hanging on the door says "Closed". Unicorn Mask takes another pull from his bottle of cheap-ass wine...
Unicorn Mask: "OOOOOOoooooh. Nowr issa da time!!!!"
Translation: "Oh. Now is the time!!!!"
Translation's Translation: "Open up yous *****es!!! I gots ta get my learn on!!!"
Ebonic Translation's Translation: "Please open so I may learn!!!"
Unicorn Mask throws his shoulder into the glass door, shattering it into a million bagillion pieces. He tosses his bottle at a poodle. **** those little rat dogs. If you have a poodle, I don't give a f*ck. They are furry rats, with Jew-fro's. Yeah, like Seth Rogen's pubes on a God damned chihuahua. Oh, and screw you for owning one. You rat loving bastard.
Unicorn Mask: "Eye ruvr yous, Enn-Eff-Dubra-Ru!"
Translation: "I love you, NFW!"
Unicorn Mask stumbles through the shattered door, his shoulder bleeding and glistening from tiny shards of glass. Cameras pan up to reveal the business sign: "English As A Foreign Language! Learn Today!"
Seamless fade to black...
A cool breeze blows down Average Street, USA. A few leaves blow in the wind. Confusion sets in for the reader since it is mid-summer, and there should not be dead leaves on the sidewalk. Traffic lights turn red, green, yellow, and then red once more. Monotony screams down this absurd boulevard of broken dreams (copywrite Greenday), but but a lone figure poses nude in the middle of the street. Nude, except for his mask. His unicorn mask. Mah mah mah mah...can't see his poker face.
Unicorn Mask (tm) slowly struts down the middle of Avergage Street, USA. A bottle of Francis Coppola's Diamond Collection Ivory Label Cabernet Sauvignon 2006 in his hand. He takes a deep pull, and continues to "WHOOOO!!!" his way down the street. A few early morning joggers and dog walkers stop to stare at the absurdity that is breaking up their consistant and mundane morning.
Unicorn Mask: "私の方法から、嫌なやつの唇がある強盗!"
Translation: "Out of my way, you dick lipped bandits!"
Unicorn Mask: "Leggo を私のとても eggo よくする!"
Translation: "You better leggo my f*cking eggo!"
The crowd parts as the Four-Post-Narwhal Face-Blasting-Machine stumbles down the road. He stops in front of a small business. The sign hanging on the door says "Closed". Unicorn Mask takes another pull from his bottle of cheap-ass wine...
Unicorn Mask: "OOOOOOoooooh. Nowr issa da time!!!!"
Translation: "Oh. Now is the time!!!!"
Translation's Translation: "Open up yous *****es!!! I gots ta get my learn on!!!"
Ebonic Translation's Translation: "Please open so I may learn!!!"
Unicorn Mask throws his shoulder into the glass door, shattering it into a million bagillion pieces. He tosses his bottle at a poodle. **** those little rat dogs. If you have a poodle, I don't give a f*ck. They are furry rats, with Jew-fro's. Yeah, like Seth Rogen's pubes on a God damned chihuahua. Oh, and screw you for owning one. You rat loving bastard.
Unicorn Mask: "Eye ruvr yous, Enn-Eff-Dubra-Ru!"
Translation: "I love you, NFW!"
Unicorn Mask stumbles through the shattered door, his shoulder bleeding and glistening from tiny shards of glass. Cameras pan up to reveal the business sign: "English As A Foreign Language! Learn Today!"
Seamless fade to black...