EPICENTER: TiT '08 Second Round

[TH]

[Fade into a shot of Tom Holzerman standing in front of the Big Screen showing Ravager and Cameron Cruise trading chops.]

TH: Second round action, and it was just as hot as the first round, exemplified by Ravager and Cameron Cruise, plus more. Welcome to EPICENTER!

[Cue up "Down" by Stone Temple Pilots.
Cut to JASON PAYNE, shouting out in primal fury with a man's blood as his war paint.
Cut to ROCKO DAYMON whipping ULYSIS SOLIAN off the ropes.
Cut to RAVAGER rolling out of the way of a ROB FRANKLIN top rope headbutt.
Cut to MUNSON MONSOON tossing HIGH FLYER out of the FREE FOR ALL~! ring.

Cut to DAN RYAN hoisting the Merrit Trophy, then flash cut to NOVA with the Harvard Avalon Memorial Trophy held by his side, then flash cut to The A-List hoisting the Dupree Cup.

Cut to: The Epicenter logo once more, fading into Tom Holzerman and Steve Murray at the EPICENTER desk.]

TH: Hello everybody, and welcome to TEAM EPICENTER for the Orlando and Minneapolis brackets of this tournament. I’m Tom Holzerman...

SM: And I’m Steve Murray.

[Cut to Holzerman in front of a Ravager/Cameron Cruise inset.]

TH: Ravager is the second seed in the London bracket this year. He got there by solidifying his rep in TEAM with his epic Challenge Championship reign, defeating some of the top wrestlers in the sport today. Add that in with his successes North of the Border in New Alberta and in Hornet Country in Rebel, and you'd think he'd be satisfied, right? Well, that's not exactly the case. Ravager still wants an extended run in this tournament. Would he get his wish, or would the seventh-seeded Cameron Cruise block him much like the freight train known as Fusenshoff did last year?

[Cut to the ring at Patrick Gym in Burlington, VT.]

TH V/O: The match started with Ravager behind the eight-ball, looking like an upset victim just in last year's tournament. Cruise starts off strong with chops reminiscent of his former tag team partner Joey Melton.

[Cut to Cruise bouncing off the ropes.]

TH V/O: Things didn't get much better from there as Cruise comes in like a missile and drills Ravager with the leaping clothesline. Ravager to the mat and out of ideas early on in the match.

[Cut to Cruise with his arms wrapped around a bent over Ravager's waist.]

TH V/O: The early onslaught continues as the Crippler just folds Ravager up like an accordian with the gutwrench suplex.

[Cut to Cruise with Ravager in a rear waistlock near the ropes.]

TH V/O: Ravager gets a little counteroffensive going. He breaks out of what would have been an early nail in the coffin in this match, a German suplex INTO the turnbuckle. He swings around and drills Cruise into the turnbuckles with a desperation spear, staving off defeat there.

[Cut to Cruise whipping Ravager into the ropes.]

TH V/O: That offensive was short-lived as Ravager couldn't keep the offense coming. Cruise here back in control here with a tilt-a-whirl side slam.

[Cut to Ravager running the ropes.]

TH V/O: Ravager on the comeback trail though, in a big way, here with a flying forearm right to the bridge of Cruise's nose.

[Cut to Ravager behind Cruise.]

TH V/O: Here he asserts himself further with a mean German suplex.

[Cut to Ravager whipping Cruise off the ropes.]

TH V/O: The former NAP-Dub Champ not letting up, dropping Cruise with a drop toe hold that he transitions seamlessly and viciously into an elbow drop to the back of the neck.

[Cut to Ravager behind a staggered Cruise.]

TH V/O: And it looks like Ravager's got this thing locked up, nailing Cruise with a bulldog.

[Cut to Cruise with Ravager in a double underhook.]

TH V/O: But after a botched Shining Wizard attempt, Ravager was back under the gun, and Cruise nails him here with the butterfly suplex.

[Cut to Cruise with Ravager over the shoulder.]

TH V/O: And he's looking to finish Ravager with the Emerald Fusion, but Ravager slips off the back, turns Cruise around, kicks him in the gut and... STIFF brainbuster! Cruise is out, and Ravager gets the pinfall, advancing into the Sweet 16. Steve?

[Cut to Shawn Hart looking on at Olvir Arsvinnar at the Maples Pavilion.]

SM V/O: Moving cross-country to Stanford, the second seed in the LA bracket, Shawn Hart, looking to take out the pornographic Viking and seventh seed, Olvir Arsvinnar, and he's got a good jump on him early, nailing him with an elbow to the head whilst the only Nordic marauder-slash-porn star in wrestling preens to his wenches.

[Cut to Arsvinnar clubbing Hart across the back.]

SM V/O: Arsvinnar coming right back, overpowering Hart's jiggy-freshness with those meaty forearms.

[Cut to Arsvinnar with Hart up in vertical suplex position.]

SM V/O: And here, look at the elevation Olvir gets on this suplex. All that blood rushing to Hart's head before Arsvinnar slams him down with the delayed suplex.

[Cut to Hart lining up his elbow.]

SM V/O: You can't keep a good cross-dresser down though, and Hart, last year's semifinalist from Portland, conks Arsvinnar in the coconut with El Codo Explosivo~! (Bionic elbow)

[Cut to Arsvinnar whipping Hart into the ropes.]

SM V/O: But in the end, Olvir's brute strength was too much for Hart to overcome. Clubbing Mjolnir Blow (Polish Hammer) to the chest of a running Hart with EXPLOSIVE force, almost caving in Hart's chest there. Olvir gets the pin and the upset victory.

[Cut to the Liacouras Center in Philly.]

SM V/O: Let's head back to the East Coast, this time in Philly as London's third seed Larry Tact battles the eleventh seed and newly christened American Idol Frankie Scott. Tact starts the match off on the offensive, with the lariat on the Idol.

[Cut to Tact behind Scott.]

SM V/O: And Tact, showing a mix of technical prowess and pure power with the side slam out of the ab stretch.

[Cut to Scott whipping Tact off the ropes.]

SM V/O: Scott gets some offense in, whipping Tact off the ropes here and nailing him with the back body drop.

[Cut to Scott in front of a staggered Tact.]

SM V/O: The Idol looks to impress more than just Simon here kicking Tact in the gut and spiking him with a DDT.

[Cut to Tact with Scott in a front facelock and hooked leg.]

SM V/O: But in the end, it was all Larry Tact. Fisherman set up into a vicious neckbreaker mid-height. He calls it the Starbreaker, I call it victory. Now, after the pinfall, a flying squirrel came out of nowhere and clawed Tact in the face. Tact ripped the rodent off his face with little injury. It was noted that the squirrel had a mini American Idol tee-shirt on... proof that it was meant to interfere in the match. It just came too late. Anyway that result sets up a date with destiny with Ravager at the O2 Arena in London, and that already sounds like a salivating matchup.

[Cue up Led Zeppelin, "No Quarter." Cut to Lindsay Troy staring down Ace Mason.]

TH V/O: Coming up after the break, London's first seed, Lindsay Troy, looks to take out a quarterfinalist from last year. Plus, more action from all the regions. EPICENTER will return.

[Cut to a commercial for Geico, because the Gecko is just so damn sexy.]

 

[TH]

[Cut to the ring at the Liacouras Center in Philly.]

TH V/O: Let's dive right back into the action, top seed in London, Lindsay Troy, taking on eighth seed and last year's Memphis quarterfinalist Ace Mason. Troy takes it to the former baseball prospect early on with a couple of chops and then a spin kick right to the chest. She's a killer queen.

[Cut to Mason behind Troy.]

TH V/O: If this were Professor Tremendous, I'd be worried for Lindz, but Mason isn't into monkey business in the ring. Here he delivers with the reverse DDT.

[Cut to Troy behind Mason.]

TH V/O: Troy strikes back with the cobra clutch legsweep, putting the hurt on Mason here.

[Cut to Mason with Troy in a front headscissor.]

TH V/O: Mason making this a see-saw affair, nailing Troy with the power bomb.

[Cut to Troy on the top rope.]

TH V/O: But the PRIME Universal Champion is just too much for Mason, falling victim to the 360-degree rana into a pin. All Hail the Queen, Lindsay Troy punches her ticket to London.

[Cut to the Patrick Gym ring.]

SM V/O: But who will the Queen face? Fourth-seeded Jonathan Marx taking on the twelve spot, Wraith, and this match was all Wraith early on. Here he is tossing the NEW Champ around the ring like a rag doll by the neck. Not just anyone can do that to Marx, y'know.

[Cut to Wraith with Marx by the neck.]

SM V/O: And here, chokeslam and hard. Marx looks shaken.

[Cut to Wraith whipping Marx off the ropes.]

SM V/O: Here's where the match turns. Marx ducks the clothesline and before Wraith can turn around, Marx takes the back of his knee out with the chop block. Crafty move from a cagey veteran.

[Cut to Marx on the second rope.]

SM V/O: The Gentleman working Wraith's knee over, elbow drop, and the big man is hobbled.

[Cut to Marx with Wraith in the STF.]

SM V/O: Marx finishing with his patented Marxism. Wraith doesn't tap out, but he can't power out of the hold and can't move to the middle of the ring. The ref raises his arm three times, and three times it drops. Wraith passes out from the pain, and Marx moves on. That means all four top seeds advance in London, the only region where this will happen. Troy against Marx, and like we said earlier, Ravager and Tact.

[Cut to the Moody Coliseum.]

TH V/O: Orlando regional in Dallas, fourth seeded Dusk against the twelfth seed Dr. Tittylover. Dusk up early, nailing Tittylover with the picture perfect dropkick.

[Cut to Tittylover running the ropes.]

TH V/O: Tittylover comes right back, making a Mothership Connection with that discus lariat.

[Cut to Dusk behind Tittylover.]

TH V/O: No easy task here as Dusk nails the Good Doctor with a back suplex.

[Cut to Tittylover whipping Dusk off the ropes.]

TH V/O: Tittylover volleys serve with the big flapjack.

[Cut to Tittylover whipping Dusk into the ropes.]

TH V/O: The Doctor looking for the big win here, trying to nail Bootzilla, but Dusk slips underneath the big boot, and nails Tittylover with the Shattered Glass superkick with the swiftness. Dusk advances to Orlando.

[Cut to the Coleman Coliseum.]

SM V/O: Heading to Alabama, Orlando's second seed, Chip Friendly, taking on the seven, Foster Nackedy. The Chipster got in control of this match early, slamming Nackedy's head into the turnbuckle ten times, much to the approval of the Bama crowd.

[Cut to Nackedy with Friendly in a front waistlock.]

SM V/O: Nackedy fires back, here with an overhead belly-to-belly suplex.

[Cut to Friendly with Nackedy in an abdominal stretch.]

SM V/O: The Chipper comes back again, this time with an abdominal slam.

[Cut to Nackedy kicking Chip in the gut.]

SM V/O: Nackedy coming back, stemming the tide and hitting Chip with a Nack-Attack here (X-Factor).

[Cut to Friendly whipping Nackedy into the ropes.]

SM V/O: But Friendly closes this one out and moves into the Sweet Sixteen with this Frownbuster (sitout tilt-a-whirl face bomb) and pinfall.

[Cut to the Breslin Student Center ring.]

TH V/O: Getting to the Minneapolis region, number four Troy Douglas and number five Simply Beautiful. Douglas starts off early and stiff with this swift gordbuster.

[Cut to SB running the ropes.]

TH V/O: Elbows are illegal in hockey, but not in wrestling, as Rossi shoves one right into Douglas' gullet with momentum behind it.

[Cut to SB with Douglas in a front headlock.]

TH V/O: SB continuing with the onslaught, brainbuster, and Douglas seems to be on the ropes.

[Cut to Douglas with SB in a front headlock.]

TH V/O: Douglas comes storming back, here with an implant DDT on SB.

[Cut to Douglas in the corner with SB.]

TH V/O: And here, it's the End of the Road... second rope Tiger Driver, and SB is out like a light. Douglas advances.

[Cue up Led Zeppelin, "No Quarter." Cut to High Flyer mid-flight in slow motion.]

SM V/O: Coming up after the break... High Flyer flying in the air... how would this end? Well, find out after the break!

[Cut to commercial a commercial for the Wii.]

 

[TH]

[Cut to the Hammons Sports Center.]

TH V/O: Minneapolis region match at Missouri State, the third seeded High Flyer and sixth seeded Fusenshoff. Flyer starts off with the elbows to the face, no respect for the upset special from last year's tournament.

[Cut to Fusenshoff with Flyer in a front headlock.]

TH V/O: Fusenshoff comes back nailing Flyer with the swinging neckbreaker.

[Cut to Fuse with Flyer front cradled.]

TH V/O: And here taking him down with the Exploder suplex.

[Cut to Flyer in front of Fuse.]

TH V/O: The Neighborhood Lunatic flies right back into the match, taking Fuse down with a Northern lights suplex.

[Cut to Flyer on the outside of the ring.]

TH V/O: Flyer goes to the outside for a breather, but Fusenshoff doesn't let him any comfort, suicide dive and he wipes out the fWo Champion... and himself.

[Cut to Flyer running the ropes.]

TH V/O: Flyer gets back in the match, nailing Fusenshoff with the discus punch here.

[Cut to Flyer on the top.]

TH V/O: And he goes for the finish here, flying body press, but at the last possible second, Fusenshoff moves out of the ring. Flyer bounces high, and Fuse quickly drills him with a desperation spear. He grabs the pinfall, and for the second year in a row, Fusenshoff is in the Sweet Sixteen.

[Cut to Breslin Student Center.]

SM V/O: And whom will he face? Donovan Astros, shown here finishing off MaX-Files with the Astrocide (Unprettier). In an unrelated note, the American Idol squirrel mauls MaX after the match. It's unknown how it got from Vermont to Michigan in such a short time, but I guess that'll be something for MaX to investigate now that he's out of the tournament.

[Cut back to the Hammons Sports Center.]

SM V/O: And who finishes out the Minny bracket? Dan Ryan of course, laying out Zodiac with that Humility Bomb. He'll meet Troy Douglas in Minneapolis.

[Cut to the Coleman Coliseum.]

SM V/O: Faceless has a name, and it's Mike Randalls. Here he is wiping out Dean Hobkirk with a karate kick and then making him tap with the Santa Fe Cloverleaf. The Wolf will meet Dusk at the Arena of Champions.

[Cut to the Moody Coliseum.]

SM V/O: Back to Dallas, Bryan Storms makes Showtyme's second chance blow away in the wind. He scores the pinfall victory with the sitout powerbomb. Storms will battle Chip Friendly in Orlando.

[Cut to Maples Pavilion.]

SM V/O: Kyle Roberts bests his New Alberta co-worker Dez Carter nailing him with the Emerald Fusion. He'll battle Olvir Arsvinnar at the Staples Center.

[Cut to the McCarthy Athletic Center ring.]

SM V/O: And in Spokane, the last Sweet Sixteen matchup was found out. In the first match, MDK continues his miracle run in this tournament, beating Hida Yakamo with the Hellshot.

[Cut to Sean Stevens in the same ring, beating up some jobber.]

SM V/O: And since Ice Tre's GPS navigator malfunctioned, he didn't show up to the arena. It doesn't explain how he ended up in Billings, Montana, but Triple X Sean Stevens moves on to face MDK, and took his aggressions out on some poor ring crew schmuck. Poor guy.

[Cut back to the studio.]

TH: That's it for us. Tune in to the Sweet Sixteen on Season Pass, or just tune into the highlights on Alternative Sports Network. Til then, I'm Tom Holzerman...

SM: ...and I'm Steve Murray. G'nite, America.

[Fade to

]

 

[TH]

Credits:

Writing - Holzerman
Judging - Holzerman, Jarret, Jeff from OLW, Scooter Ray, ChrisNova, IntegerChris, Stalker, Pete R.