EPW World Title - Steel Cage: "Queen of the Ring" Lindsay Troy (c) vs. Joey Melton

[DBrunkGXW]

EPW World Title - Steel Cage: "Queen of the Ring" Lindsay Troy (c) vs. Joey Melton

Post all RP Here.

 

[Steve]

Re: EPW World Title - Steel Cage: "Queen of the Ring" Lindsay Troy (c) vs. Joey Melton

TO GET THE FULL EFFECT OF THE FOLLOWING RP, CLICK IT!

(FADEIN: The ancient ruins of the Coliseum.)

(CUTTO: A gust of wind whipping sand into the air. The camera pans left to reveal the back of EPW superstar, meterosexual, dog lover, and Unifier Joey Melton. Melton is dressed in full white robe, sandals, and Bono Fly shades. Joey slowly, coolly takes off the shades and looks down at Lindsay Troy, lying on a slab of the ruins.)

(MUSIC UP: “Glory of Love” – Chicago)

(CUTTO: Melton looking lovingly, wistfully even at Troy’s scantly clad body.)

Tonight it's very clear
As we're both lying here
There's so many things i wanna say

(CUTTO: An ancient warrior on horseback racing towards Melton. Melton grabs Troy’s left hand, then stands proud as the warrior draws his sword and swipes at Joey’s head. Before the beheading we skillfully CUTTO---)

(-----: Melton on stage, present day, singing to Troy at a concert.)

I will always love you
I would never leave you alone
Sometimes I just forget
Say things I might regret

(CUTTO: Melton’s head superimposed on screen. In the background, we see an argument between Troy and Melton in their apartment. Lindsay throws something at Joey, then runs to a window.)

It breaks my heart to see you cryin'
I don't wanna lose you
I could never make it alone

(CUTTO: Camera angle outside the apartment. Troy opens up the window, and into a pouring rain sticks her head out and cries.)

(CUTTO: Joey Melton curbside on the street below. He reaches into a top hat and pulls out a handful of glitter. We see Joey throw some glitter with all his might at Troy.)

I am the man who would fight for your honor
I'll be the hero you're dreamin' of

(CLOSEUP: We follow the glitter on its ascent. Slowly the screen dissolves to Melton chasing Troy on horseback. Both giddy as they race over grassy hills of yesterday.)

We'll live forever
Knowing together that we
Did it all for the glory of love

(CUTTO: Troy dismounting from her horse as she enters a barn. On a dime she spins and sees Melton, a stable boy innocently fondling himself as he watches)

You keep me standing tall
You helped me through it all

(CUTTO: Troy and Melton falling into a haystack. Furiously making love.)
(LOOP: We replay the hay fall in rapid fire succession five times.)

I'm always strong when you're beside me
I have always needed you
I could never make it alone

(CUTTO: Melton and Troy laughing like children as they enjoy a carriage ride through Central Park.)

I am the man who will fight for your honor
I'll be the hero you been dreamin' of

(CUTTO: Stableboy Melton, watching the carriage ride between himself and Troy, innocently fondling himself as he watches.)

(CUTTO: Troy out of the window reaching out and touching the glitter)

We'll live forever
Knowing together that we
Did it all for the glory of love

(CUTTO: Joey dressed as a Knight, jousting with THE ENEMY as a nervous, and damn fine looking Troy watches on the side. She cries as Melton is cut in the arm, turning to her father, the King. The King laughs as Melton goes down.)

LIke a knight in shining armor
From a long time ago

(CUTTO: Melton on his feet, powers past the crowd of peasants (played wonderfully by Gregg Gethard and family) and dropkicks the King! Joey grabs Troy’s hand and runs off with her as the Royal dropkick is looped.)



Just the time I'd save the day

(CUTTO: Melton and Troy in the stairwell of a giant Castle. Troy throws herself at Melton and Joey responds.)

Take you to my castle far away

(CUTTO: At the bottom of the stairwell, stableboy Melton watches, and fondles himself. But this time, he also SINGS!)

I am the man who would fight for your honor
I'll be the hero that you're dreamin' of

(CUTTO: Troy at the open window looking at her empty hand. She steps back and shuts the window.)

Gonna live forever
Knowing together that we
Did it all for the Glory of Love

(CUTTO: Joey on the street, falling to his knees. Broken.)

We'll live forever

(CUTTO: Joey’s face superimposed, singing. In the background, Melton weeps while crafting a little miniature Bonsai tree on a seaside cliff.)

Knowing together that we
Did it all for the Glory of Love

We did it all for love...

(FTB)


(FADEIN: EPW Headquarters – Parts unknown. Board Room. Melton sits at the head of a conference table as the EPW Board of Directors, Dan Ryan, and Adrian Evans aka Little Voltron look on, dumbfounded.)

(CUTTO: Slow motion of a pin dropping.)

MELTON: (giddy) Well? (no one is brave enough to answer) I can lose the stableboy if you’re worried about the bible belt, but truthfully I think it hits at the heart of our relationship.

ADRIAN EVANS: How much did you ****ing spend on that?
MELTON: Petty cash. I wanted to make a statement. I wanted to grow as an artist. (Joey stands) I want that run every hour on the hour if possible. Let’s make it happen.

(CUTTO: The BOD pouring out of the conference room. Every one of them as white as a ghost. Dan Ryan reaches into his pocket for a roll over deodorant.)

DAN RYAN: (swiping at his arm pits.) He said artist. My Gawd.

BOD MEMBER: Unmigrated disaster.

DAN RYAN: What was I thinking? We’re dead.

BOD MEMBER: He’s finished Dan. Finished…

DAN RYAN: Artist…

(CUTTO: The boardroom. Only Melton and Evans remain.)

MELTON: (walking to Evans.) I feel alive! What a rush. I wanna do another one of these, but this time….

(Evans leaps up and KICKS Joey in the balls. Melton falls to the ground in a heap.)

MELTON: AHHHHH. You little prick…what the…

EVANS: “Glory Of Love?” We’ve seen it Melton! I told you to let me handle this. I told you to let me direct!

MELTON: It…ahhhh…came across as fresh, I thought.

EVANS: Look at you. The great Joey Melton. Ripping off your own bits gone by and making desperate pleas to a woman who has not and will not hesitate to kick your ass.

MELTON: I can win her back Adrian. You know I can.

EVANS: I can’t watch anymore of this. (Adrian turns and walks out) I’m done.

MELTON: You’re all I got! Adrian!!! Ahhhh..

(As the door slams and Melton falls back to the floor, we see stableboy Melton in the corner, innocently touching himself as he watches.)

MELTON: Oh STOP IT!

(FTB)

 

[QueenOfTheRing]

Funny How It Seems To Me Now That You Were Never Here

"Just give 'em the old 'Razzle Dazzle,' right Joey?"

Another hot Florida day burns on outside, but inside the master bedroom of a certain Tampa estate, the temperature is decidedly cooler. Lindsay Troy sits on the cream-colored carpet, jeans rolled up over her muscular calves and her knees pulled up tight to her chest. A ceiling fan twirls overhead, ruffling a stack of papers at her feet...the divorce papers, unsigned.

"It's always big spotlights and center stage with you; a three ring circus that you're the ringmaster of. It was cute in the beginning when you would do things like make ordering dinner at a restaurant into a method acting class and impress flight attendants with your best Leslie Nielsen impressions from 'Airplane.' But over time, the spontaneity became too predictable, just like that montage you decided to air for reasons that I can't even comprehend.

"You should listen to Adrian. He's always been the one who had the better grip on reality.

"I had a hope that you'd take a hint from the Circus World you like so much to emulate and realize that even those performers know when to stop and take a break from the tour; that there comes a time where they can turn the spotlight off, breathe, and be with their family.

"But you don't know how to do that, Joey. You have to be the showman twenty-four seven. And maybe that's why we're in the position we're in right now."

"Maybe that's why we're picking through the rubble of a crumbled marriage."

She rubs her arm absent-mindedly.

"I had it figured that a match like this was going to happen here sooner or later, given the sham of an 'owner' at present and the 'mouthpiece' who can't keep my name from coming out of his yap whenever he gets the opportunity.

"Watch out now, I just made their year by validating their existence!"

She smirks.

"Funny, though, that they waited this long to really do anything, but I contribute that to Red not knowing his ass from a hole in the ground and the Canadian being too busy rooting through his fur to find the fleas nestled within.

"In the end, though, Marcus is, and always will be, a stupid pawn and Red will just be stupid. A meteor can crash into the earth and this will never change. We can only hope that they'll just die out like the dinosaurs did.

"But this isn't about the big, dumb lugs and their latest attempts to be CONNNNNNNNNTROVERSIAL! They must have gotten wind of the events in the Frontier, with you walking away instead of finishing the fight.

"Don't think I'll let you do that twice to me. Not with my title on the line now.

"This steel cage match isn't going to settle anything between us. I'm tired of hearing that you want to 'win me back,' yet you've made no attempts at all. Hell..."

She spreads her arms out, and the camera view widens to reveal boxes to her left and to her right.

"...if your refusal to pick your stuff up is a sign of your continued devotion to me, I may as well write this up to abandoned property and donate it to the Salvation Army. I've spent more time with your boxed Rod Stewart 45s and your Saturday Night Fever-era wardrobe than I have with you.

"And I'm tired, Joey.

"I'm tired of hearing your pleas when you couldn't make good on them when you had the chance. I'm tired of being the only one in the fight.

"So after this match is settled, I want the rest of it settled as well."

She nudges the papers with her flip-flop covered foot.

"I want you to let me go since you didn't care enough about me to keep me in the first place. Because even if you beat me in the cage, and even if you take my title, you won't get me back. It's not in your nature to have the spotlight and the girl.

"But your career will be rejuvenated.

"And that's what you've always wanted all along..."

Fade...

 

[Steve]

Re: EPW World Title - Steel Cage: "Queen of the Ring" Lindsay Troy (c) vs. Joey Melton

(FADEIN: Joey Melton in front of an EPW backdrop.)

MELTON: Somehow in all of this Lindsay, you’re the victim. Is that the card you’re playing here? After a career built on equal opportunity and “damned if you doubt me” spirit, Lindsay Troy, EPW World Heavyweight Champion is unloved, underappreciated, and forced into a match she could smell coming from a mile away. You might want to think long and hard about your stance here. Because even you’re your most hearty supporters, and I’m sure you still have some, are crying bull**** at the thought of your defense.

I’m the show. That’s it. I’m the one who never committed to this relationship, never found the ‘off’ button, or was there when you needed me. I’m the circus, despite the fact that you won this title on the biggest smoke and mirror hoax this sport has seen in years.

Baby what I got, what I’ve hard my whole life is charm. You don’t stay in this business for nearly twenty years without it. It’s why Dan Ryan could try to break my back one- minute, then slip a contract for his own promotion under my hospital door the next. It’s how I convinced the world to buy Cameron Cruise.

Charm, Lindsay.

You turn me off you lose everything. The men and women I came in this sport with have long since retired, or been found dead in their hotel rooms with a line bleeding from their nose. Twenty years later, my ass is here, and it’s damn sure not because I learned a second move set or became a ****ing acrobat. People pay to see me, Troy. They always have. And now when it’s convenient for you to do so, you tell me I gave up on our marriage, you tell me I’m nothing more than a tent pole and a fire and brimstone sermon.

Evan Aho was the last of a dead and buried breed who didn’t give a **** about theater and I loved him for it, but wouldn’t give penny to see it. Most people didn’t. And that’s why the most technically sound wrestler we’ve seen in the last ten years is ****ing selling RVs in Seattle right now and not fronting this or any other company.

You see, Troy. The fact of the matter is you love the show. Hell, you need it. A woman in professional wrestling you threw away a career in law, and a chance at a real family to prove to yourself and the boys that you could sound out the big words as well as they did. You’ve been drawn to the light more than any of us. You kept me up in the middle of the night enacting the moment Beast was ‘Dis’d.’ You ****ing hung those angle of the year awards next to your Bobby Sox trophies and pictures of Dan and Alaina. Don’t tell me you’re a square. No, Lindsay, you’ve played the game as well as anyone lately. And you loved yourself for it.

We’re cut from the same cloth, and maybe you’ve always looked at me and thought “Dear Gawd I hope I’m not in it this long. I hope I don’t end up like Melton.” You want to throw light on the fire, take cheap shots at me? Fine. I came from the circus. Was born into it. My parents were carnies in New York. I was born playing to two-bit crowds, and drunks. Maybe I grew up and swore that I’d never be my mother. Or, maybe it was I’d die trying to play to a bigger audience. To prove she didn’t know **** about entertainment, but by the grace of God she gave birth to a son who would.
And you better be very careful about what you’re saying, because I’m ****ing close to showing you the biggest show you’ve ever seen.

Joey Melton the carnie. At this point, honey, the circus isn’t leaving town. You married it, sweetie. If you didn’t know damn well what you were getting into you’re dumber than I thought. And I had high hopes of you being the bright one in the relationship.

Joey Melton, addicted to the sport. To the spotlight. I do have addictions don’t I Lindsay? You know all too well about the time I tried to tone myself down. When I lost myself. Joey Melton was muted by a World Series of drugs and booze and you were the only one there for the intervention. You see, I never gave up on us. I never stopped being who I was. Baby, I wasn’t the one who got in bed with the devil. I wasn’t the one who pushed Troy Windham to the brink and then thought of the swerve to keep it all fresh.

You brought our marriage into the ring. You let it happen. You sold our marriage the minute a buck could be made on it. Now you’re walking out, a woman scorned, or some **** like that.

I never claimed to be a perfect man.

Never said I wouldn’t **** up. But let’s look at who made the real sacrifices in this marriage. I changed who I ****ing was for you. I turned my life around for you. I stayed sober, I gave up ****ing Cruise’s wife or any other woman but you. I tried. I damn well tried to be the man you were looking for. But you sold me, and our marriage down the river for more time in the spotlight. For another buck. All because Troy Windham’s cable pilot was picked up and he had to jet.

If supposed to be the Dr. Phil husband in your story, nobody will buy it. I’ve been called a kept man, ***** whipped, you name it. I changed my DNA to fit in your lifestyle, to be next to you in bed, and now it’s not enough?

I’m done trying.

I made my plea. I’ve done my last song and dance to prove that I STILL love you, but I know it hasn’t sunk in. I know you speak a different language. In Jersey, close, damn close to the fields and Ferris wheels that I was brought up on, I’m going to bring the Circus back to EPW.

(FTB)

 

[Steve]

Re: EPW World Title - Steel Cage: "Queen of the Ring" Lindsay Troy (c) vs. Joey Melton

(FADEIN: Joey Melton in front of an EPW backdrop.)

MELTON: Somehow in all of this Lindsay, you’re the victim. Is that the card you’re playing here? After a career built on equal opportunity and “damned if you doubt me” spirit, Lindsay Troy, EPW World Heavyweight Champion is unloved, underappreciated, and forced into a match she could smell coming from a mile away. You might want to think long and hard about your stance here. Because even you’re your most hearty supporters, and I’m sure you still have some, are crying bull**** at the thought of your defense.

I’m the show. That’s it. I’m the one who never committed to this relationship, never found the ‘off’ button, or was there when you needed me. I’m the circus, despite the fact that you won this title on the biggest smoke and mirror hoax this sport has seen in years.

Baby what I got, what I’ve hard my whole life is charm. You don’t stay in this business for nearly twenty years without it. It’s why Dan Ryan could try to break my back one- minute, then slip a contract for his own promotion under my hospital door the next. It’s how I convinced the world to buy Cameron Cruise.

Charm, Lindsay.

You turn me off you lose everything. The men and women I came in this sport with have long since retired, or been found dead in their hotel rooms with a line bleeding from their nose. Twenty years later, my ass is here, and it’s damn sure not because I learned a second move set or became a ****ing acrobat. People pay to see me, Troy. They always have. And now when it’s convenient for you to do so, you tell me I gave up on our marriage, you tell me I’m nothing more than a tent pole and a fire and brimstone sermon.

Evan Aho was the last of a dead and buried breed who didn’t give a **** about theater and I loved him for it, but wouldn’t give penny to see it. Most people didn’t. And that’s why the most technically sound wrestler we’ve seen in the last ten years is ****ing selling RVs in Seattle right now and not fronting this or any other company.

You see, Troy. The fact of the matter is you love the show. Hell, you need it. A woman in professional wrestling you threw away a career in law, and a chance at a real family to prove to yourself and the boys that you could sound out the big words as well as they did. You’ve been drawn to the light more than any of us. You kept me up in the middle of the night enacting the moment Beast was ‘Dis’d.’ You ****ing hung those angle of the year awards next to your Bobby Sox trophies and pictures of Dan and Alaina. Don’t tell me you’re a square. No, Lindsay, you’ve played the game as well as anyone lately. And you loved yourself for it.

We’re cut from the same cloth, and maybe you’ve always looked at me and thought “Dear Gawd I hope I’m not in it this long. I hope I don’t end up like Melton.” You want to throw light on the fire, take cheap shots at me? Fine. I came from the circus. Was born into it. My parents were carnies in New York. I was born playing to two-bit crowds, and drunks. Maybe I grew up and swore that I’d never be my mother. Or, maybe it was I’d die trying to play to a bigger audience. To prove she didn’t know **** about entertainment, but by the grace of God she gave birth to a son who would.

Joey Melton the carnie. At this point, honey, the circus isn’t leaving town. You married it, sweetie. If you didn’t know damn well what you were getting into you’re dumber than I thought. And I had high hopes of you being the bright one in the relationship.

Joey Melton, addicted to the sport. To the spotlight. I do have addictions don’t I Lindsay? You know all too well about the time I tried to tone myself down. When I lost myself. Joey Melton was muted by a World Series of drugs and booze and you were the only one there for the intervention. You see, I never gave up on us. I never stopped being who I was. Baby, I wasn’t the one who got in bed with the devil. I wasn’t the one who pushed Troy Windham to the brink and then thought of the swerve to keep it all fresh.

You brought our marriage into the ring. You let it happen. You sold our marriage the minute a buck could be made on it. Now you’re walking out, a woman scorned, or some **** like that.

I never claimed to be a perfect man.

Never said I wouldn’t **** up. But let’s look at who made the real sacrifices in this marriage. I changed who I ****ing was for you. I turned my life around for you. I stayed sober, I gave up ****ing Cruise’s wife or any other woman but you. I tried. I damn well tried to be the man you were looking for. But you floated me, and our marriage down the river for more time in the spotlight. For another buck. All because Troy Windham’s cable pilot was picked up and he had to jet.

If I'm supposed to be the Dr. Phil husband in your story, nobody will buy it. I’ve been called a kept man, ***** whipped, you name it. I changed my DNA to fit in your lifestyle, to be next to you in bed, and now it’s not enough?

I’m done trying.

I made my plea. I’ve done my last song and dance to prove that I STILL love you, but I know it hasn’t sunk in. I know you speak a different language. In Jersey, close, damn close to the fields and Ferris wheels that I was brought up on, I’m going to bring the Circus back to EPW. The Greatest Show On Earth. Its been that way for twenty years, baby.

(FTB)

 

[QueenOfTheRing]

Don't You Know That You Are A Shooting Star?

"I see myself as a huge fiery comet, a shooting star. Everyone stops, points up and gasps, 'Oh look at that!' Then whoosh, and I'm gone...and they'll never see anything like it ever again...and they won't be able to forget me ever."--Jim Morrison

-------------

"You haven't changed, Joey. The only thing that's changed is the scenery when you moved into the next town to pick up your piece of the gate.

"And f*ck you for thinking you've done otherwise."

Fade-in: Lindsay Troy, battle-ready, with the EPW World Title strapped around her waist.

"Cuddling an extra minute in bed doesn't amount to change when you've been out partying like you were twelve again and are too drunk to know the concept of time. Let's not pretend that you've been anything other than a male Paris Hilton, which is something that I was willing to forgive you for because, what was it? You 'never claimed to be the perfect man.' If marriage was supposed to be perfect, then we wouldn't be another number in the ever-rising divorce rate, now would we?

"Everyone not named Joey Melton is the victim in the world that Joey Melton's made for himself, because you're way too quick to throw the blame onto someone else's shoulders for the sake of keeping your image intact. God knows you'll say 'I'm sorry' one minute and then go right back out and be a f*ckhead the next, like the phrase was so mechanical that you'd be mistaken for an android. And that's just what you may end up as after all.

"Joey Melton, Wrestling's Tin Man, living in Oz and wishing for the heart that's been ripped out of his chest; an act he brought on himself. 'Victim' is a phrase tossed out by people uncomfortable with accepting blame when it's justly served. But that's all fine and good because I'm just doing this all to myself, right? You can ditch me all you want, you can go run through Momma Carlton's perfectly kept gardens again because *******it, JOEY MELTON CAN STILL DRAW! AND THE WHOLE WORLD KNOWS IT! AND EVERYONE WANTS TO SEE IT!

"You're like the Broadway musical Cats. Everyone's seen it a thousand times, it's completely dated, and only the fools keep throwing their money at it. And I have a hard time feeling sympathetic for those who want to trot out the same one-trick pony night after night after night for twenty years.

"You may think it works for you, but honey, you've been nothing but a failure for the last five. And yet, I loved you anyway. I didn't want the pony to be put out of its misery, but you're making it very hard for me to keep thinking that way.

"And while we're at it, you're not so bad at smoke and mirrors yourself, y'know. Let's not forget Paralyzed Joey Melton, where a kiss from Shane Southern can 'heal the lame.' But you're not perfect, I guess, and that was just one more excuse in a long, long line of them to try and keep me around.

"I stuck with you until I realized that sticking with you was only making me miserable. Here's some more dirty laundry for you, since you've decided to jump right into the fray with me. You're no butterfly, Joey Melton. You hatched out of your bachelor cocoon and there was little change at all except you got to sleep in my bed on a regular basis and maybe, when you felt like it, made me breakfast once or twice.

"You made sacrifices? That's what marriage is, dumbsh*t, or did you think it was all just a privilege with pretty rings and an official-looking paper? And don't throw Windham in my face unless you're prepared to face your transgressions with Southern. What's the difference, really? That I pulled off the better swerve? Them's the breaks, kid. Joey Melton's not as quick-thinking as he used to be. Get used to it.

"And while you may not have stuck your d*ck into another woman, you crawled right back into bed with Carlton the moment you figured it was most convenient for you. I might as well call that cheating just so we're square on that front.

"You knew the things I've done in the past, what I did to Marcus for instance, yet you married me anyway. You still loved me. How's that for irony? We both knew what we were getting into, and we still fell headlong into something.

"Only difference was, there was no plan with you. I never once had a thought creep into my mind that this whole thing was going to be a sham.

"You were it, Joey. And all we've got to show for it now is a lot of spite and nasty words for each other. That's what happens when you mix business and pleasure.

"I guess I'm just a spider woman that traps men in my web. And this is one creation that you're not going to be getting out of. All the charm in the world isn't going to break the walls of a steel cage, it isn't going to make me weak in the knees and give up something I've worked eleven years for, and it isn't going to be on the banner when we roll into the Meadowlands.

"You were right about one thing, though. I live for moments like these. Barnum and Bailey wish they could market me as putting on the Greatest Show on Earth.

"Too bad my world no longer includes you."

Fade...

 

[QueenOfTheRing]

Don't You Know That You Are A Shooting Star?

"I see myself as a huge fiery comet, a shooting star. Everyone stops, points up and gasps, 'Oh look at that!' Then whoosh, and I'm gone...and they'll never see anything like it ever again...and they won't be able to forget me ever."--Jim Morrison

-------------

"You haven't changed, Joey. The only thing that's changed is the scenery when you moved into the next town to pick up your piece of the gate.

"And f*ck you for thinking you've done otherwise."

Fade-in: Lindsay Troy, battle-ready, with the EPW World Title strapped around her waist.

"Cuddling an extra minute in bed doesn't amount to change when you've been out partying like you were twelve again and are too drunk to know the concept of time. Let's not pretend that you've been anything other than a male Paris Hilton, which is something that I was willing to forgive you for because, what was it? You 'never claimed to be the perfect man.' If marriage was supposed to be perfect, then we wouldn't be another number in the ever-rising divorce rate, now would we?

"Everyone not named Joey Melton is the victim in the world that Joey Melton's made for himself, because you're way too quick to throw the blame onto someone else's shoulders for the sake of keeping your image intact. God knows you'll say 'I'm sorry' one minute and then go right back out and be a f*ckhead the next, like the phrase was so mechanical that you'd be mistaken for an android. And that's just what you may end up as after all.

"Joey Melton, Wrestling's Tin Man, living in Oz and wishing for the heart that's been ripped out of his chest; an act he brought on himself. 'Victim' is a phrase tossed out by people uncomfortable with accepting blame when it's justly served. But that's all fine and good because I'm just doing this all to myself, right? You can ditch me all you want, you can go run through Momma Carlton's perfectly kept gardens again because *******it, JOEY MELTON CAN STILL DRAW! AND THE WHOLE WORLD KNOWS IT! AND EVERYONE WANTS TO SEE IT!

"You're like the Broadway musical Cats. Everyone's seen it a thousand times, it's completely dated, and only the fools keep throwing their money at it. And I have a hard time feeling sympathetic for those who want to trot out the same one-trick pony night after night after night for twenty years.

"You may think it works for you, but honey, you've been nothing but a failure for the last five. And yet, I loved you anyway. I didn't want the pony to be put out of its misery, but you're making it very hard for me to keep thinking that way.

"And while we're at it, you're not so bad at smoke and mirrors yourself, y'know. Let's not forget Paralyzed Joey Melton, where a kiss from Shane Southern can 'heal the lame.' But you're not perfect, I guess, and that was just one more excuse in a long, long line of them to try and keep me around.

"I stuck with you until I realized that sticking with you was only making me miserable. Here's some more dirty laundry for you, since you've decided to jump right into the fray with me. You're no butterfly, Joey Melton. You hatched out of your bachelor cocoon and there was little change at all except you got to sleep in my bed on a regular basis and maybe, when you felt like it, made me breakfast once or twice.

"You made sacrifices? That's what marriage is, dumbsh*t, or did you think it was all just a privilege with pretty rings and an official-looking paper? And don't throw Windham in my face unless you're prepared to face your transgressions with Southern. What's the difference, really? That I pulled off the better swerve? Them's the breaks, kid. Joey Melton's not as quick-thinking as he used to be. Get used to it.

"And while you may not have stuck your d*ck into another woman, you crawled right back into bed with Carlton the moment you figured it was most convenient for you. I might as well call that cheating just so we're square on that front.

"You knew the things I've done in the past, what I did to Marcus for instance, yet you married me anyway. You still loved me. How's that for irony? We both knew what we were getting into, and we still fell headlong into something.

"Only difference was, there was no plan with you. I never once had a thought creep into my mind that this whole thing was going to be a sham.

"You were it, Joey. And all we've got to show for it now is a lot of spite and nasty words for each other. That's what happens when you mix business and pleasure.

"I guess I'm just a spider woman that traps men in my web. And this is one creation that you're not going to be getting out of. All the charm in the world isn't going to break the walls of a steel cage, it isn't going to make me weak in the knees and give up something I've worked eleven years for, and it isn't going to be on the banner when we roll into the Meadowlands.

"You were right about one thing, though. I live for moments like these. Barnum and Bailey wish they could market me as putting on the Greatest Show on Earth.

"Too bad my world no longer includes you."

Fade...