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ESEN Presents: Dan Ryan v. Castor Strife


Where's my money, Chad?
Jul 3, 1997
The Silk Road
ii. Intro

(FADEIN from SKYCAM: The view above DALLAS COWBOYS STADIUM in Dallas, Texas – a circular row of bright beaming lights overhead a swelled capacity crowd. People who appear as checkered specks make their way from the parking lot to the stadium gates. At the bottom of the screen is the ESEN logo cornering the name CASTOR STRIFE in blue background color above DAN RYAN colored in red, like the names of two sports teams or prize fighters. Triumphant horn music plays us in)

ANNOUNCER: (V/O) “One-hundred thousand PLUS have gathered here tonight to see two industry giants lock horns for a third time. With two draws behind them and 17 World Championship titles between, all scores get settled in Dallas. Who really is the better man, Dan Ryan or Castor Strife? The debate ends TONIGHT!”

(CUEUP: “Hellbound” by Pantera)

(SCREEN WIPE LEFT TO: A bloody-faced, fallen opponent lying dead at center-ring while DAN RYAN leans over the ropes, spit foaming at the corners of his mouth, pointing at a big gold title while yelling into the camera)



(UNFREEZE: Dan backs off and runs up the turnbuckles as we...)

(SCREEN WIPE LEFT TO: An opponent swinging at CASTOR STRIFE who ducks under and hits him with the DIRECTOR’S CUT. His victim bounces off the canvas as he lays back for the cover – ONE, TWO, THREE)



(UNFREEZE: Castor spins onto his knees after the pinfall, and throws his arms out/head up at center-ring like a European futbol player after scoring a goal)

(SCREEN WIPE LEFT TO: Animated spinning-globe against a classic ring backdrop as the blue ESEN logo flies into view and superimposes on the foreground. After a few seconds it breaks apart piece by piece like Tetris or the Matrix unplugged to reveal the next shot)

(CUTTO: The inside of the sold out Dallas Cowboys Stadium. At the center of the field is a ring with the DAN RYAN vs. CASTOR STRIFE logo in the middle, surrounded by the various sponsor logos in the corners: Red Bull, Metal Gear Rising: Revengeance, GoDaddy, and Hooters)

(CUTTO: The Dallas Cowboys cheerleaders waving and high-kicking in front of the camera)

ANNOUNCER: (V/O) “Welcome to JERRY WORLD, home of the Dallas Cowboys, the Cowboys cheerleaders, World Championship boxing, and tonight...the battlegrounds of one of the most anticipated matches in the history of professional wrestling.”

(CUTTO: A Monday Night Fooball-style PBP desk located at field-level with the blue ESEN logo scrawled across it. Sitting to the far-left is former NLW announcer and current ESEN employee BRIAN OBERSTARR, NFW and ESEN regular DEVIN MILLWOOD, and veteran color commentator/manager of talent spanning NFW, EPW, NLW, and other leagues, JMMY MYLDE sitting on the far right)

OBERSTARR: “Hello and welcome to ESEN Presents: Dan Ryan vs. Castor Strife. I’m Brian Oberstarr, and joining me is ESEN video-journalist Devin Millwood, and my former partner at the announce table, and a man who has truly worked EVERYWHERE, the infamous Jimmy Mylde!”

MYLDE: “Don’t you ruin my resume hustle, Oberstarr. LinkedIn says I’ve got 8 solid years at one job, and you didn’t hear anything different!”

OBERSTARR: “Fair enough! Now fellas, when you talk about industry DOMINANCE, perhaps no two names enter the mind more often than DAN RYAN and CASTOR STRIFE. They’re no strangers, in fact, they have met twice and went to draw both times. Tonight’s match will be no time limits, and the trilogy will end with one man standing over the other.”

MILLWOOD: “When you go back and look at the recent history of consensus Number One wrestlers, dominant champions...there really aren’t many guys at all who have run through as many GREAT and diverse organizations in such a short burst as Dan Ryan did from 2002-2007 and Castor Strife from 2010 to now. Probably the only other example I can think of from the last decade and a half would be Nova, and maybe Michael Manson. This high level of undisputed, widespread success does not happen very often, and right now both men are as good and as motivated as we have ever seen them.”

MYLDE: “At the opening of the broadcast, you mentioned that there are 17 World Championships between them. Well THIRTEEN of them belong to Dan Ryan! On the other hand, Castor won the other four in a span of two years, not even! But you know with Dan, you’ve got that LONGEVITY, ok? Because like Devin said, we’ve seen a few guys come around and kick down some doors, but then they disappeared! Almost none of the recent top ranked guys were able to maintain that level, EXCEPT for Dan Ryan. And Castor Strife knows that the only thing he hasn’t accomplished during this run of his, is a significant win over Dan Ryan.”

OBERSTARR: “What do you mean by significant win?”

MYDLE: “Wellll I mean there are a buncha guys out there with bull[BLEEP] wins over Dan Ryan.”


MILLWOOD: “It’s ESEN Jimmy!”

MYLDE: “Whoa, hey, come on, it’s true! Dan Ryan went to Canada, got drunk, and dropped a few stinkers to the overnight crew! There’s no shame in that, we’ve all gotta eat! What happens in Winnipeg STAYS IN WINNIPEG!”

MILLWOOD: “Way over people’s heads...”

MYLDE: “But the point is, when Dan Ryan is hot to kill a man, he usually gets his man! And right now, he’s hot to put a beating on Castor Strife. Not just a beating, but a beating and a ONE, TWO, THREE! That’s easier said than done considering nobody’s scored a pinfall over Castor in about an age.”

MILLWOOD: “You know, I spoke with Dan Ryan recently, and he told me how upset he was a few years back when a match never materialized with the top guy at the time, Joe The Plumber. Dan loves to challenge himself by facing people who others put in his class. He takes offense to that – no really, he does! – and if your name is going to be mentioned alongside his, you’d better be prepared to fight him. Well, when that opportunity failed to materialize, I don’t think anybody foresaw the sudden rise of Castor Strife, who actually retired from the sport as a young man due to injuries and substance abuse. Now he has an opportunity to pit himself against somebody who actually exceeded the last guy, who by the way, Dan never respected. That’s a big difference. Dan did not respect JTP, and wanted to fight him because he wanted to EXPOSE him. That is not the case here. Dan immensely respects Castor, and that respect is shared, because they already faced each other, twice, and neither man could beat the other. This truly is a test for both men, to see who REALLY is the best.”

OBERSTARR: “Dan Ryan is the reigning CSWA Unified Champion, a former NFW, GXW, REBEL-Pro, and A1E champion, just to name a few.”

MYLDE: “Don’t forget Viking Pro Wrestling!”

OBERSTARR: “And that. Castor Strife is the reigning ULTRATITLE Champion from 2012, and the former NFW World Heavyweight champion with reigns in A1E and PRIME as well.”

(CUTTO: ‘Tale of the Tape’ style head-to-head stat comparison for Ryan and Strife, below a picture of each, with Ryan’s column on the left and Strife’s on the right)

OBERSTARR: “There we see the stat-line on both men. Ryan, the Houston native, comes in tonight tipping the scales at a monstrous 310, and at 6’7 with mobility he is by far the most imposing physical specimen in the history of the sport.”

MYLDE: “When Dan Ryan came out, he made GUNS look like Lisa Lampanelli!”

OBERSTARR: “His brute force style combined with deadly suplexes has never really been stopped, only contained. There is no reliable strategy of dealing with it. And of course, his Humility Bomb is second to none in the damage department.”

MYLDE: “Has anybody kicked out of the Humility Bomb? Other than some dickhead Viking...”

OBERSTARR: “Strife, the Hollywood native, born in Secaucus, New Jersey, is no small man at 6’3 and weighing in tonight at 247 pounds. He has the strength to compete with bigger men while retaining the mobility and athleticism of a large cruiserweight. He is noted for being exceptionally well-rounded, with a mean streak and an uncanny ability to take punishment.”

MILLWOOD: “Which served him well in the first two bouts...”

OBERSTARR: “His Director’s Cut snap-swinging neckbreaker is notorious for putting men on the injured list, and is a quick, devastating maneuver that could come at any time. Ryan will have to be extremely careful in how he attacks Strife, being wary of anything that could lead to a lights out counter.”

MILLWOOD: “We’ve seen Castor weather Dan Ryan’s storm of offense, twice, but those were time-limited matches. Would he have been able to hold on long enough for a victory, or would he eventually succumb? These are questions that will be answered tonight.”

OBERSTARR: “Indeed. Also on tap for tonight is our CO-MAIN EVENT featuring two men who could be the #1 and #2 ranked wrestlers by year’s end if they keep their momentum alive, and whose friendship kept them from ever having a match. Tonight, NFW World Heavyweight Champion and #1 contender to the EPW World Heavyweight Title IMPULSE will face off against the legendary ‘TRIPLE X’ SEAN STEVENS.”

MILLWOOD: “Yeah, that’s an incredible matchup that could sell out any arena in the world. Impulse is considered by many to be the very best in the world at the moment, and Stevens, who was #1 on my ballot a few years ago, is returning to form after coming off hiatus last year. There is no way this match will be anything less than stellar, and I am looking forward to it.”

MYLDE: “I like the move by Stevens here. Sign on to fight your friend, step on his skull to get back to the mountaintop. It wasn’t long ago that Stevens was a World Champion, while Impulse was making a name for himself in the upper mid-card. The roles have now reversed, and if Triple X wants to reclaim the CROWN, so to speak, he’ll have the opportunity tonight to shoot up in the fan rankings by extinguishing his good friend.”

MILLWOOD: “Impulse is a nice guy, I’ve had the chance to know him these past few years, but I will tell you this: he worked too hard to get where he is now, and there is no way he’s letting any man kick him back down the ladder, friend or foe.”

OBERSTARR: “Also on the card are Rezin, Teddy Alexander, and Jack Harmen going at it in a three-way-dance.”

MILLWOOD: “Three guys who could be World Champions anywhere, and in Jack Harmen’s case, he’s been a champion just about everywhere. Rezin is a scrapper, a guy who you can never underestimate, and Teddy Alexander is one of the fastest rising new talents we’ve seen in a long time. I’m excited!”

OBERSTARR: “Speaking of rising talents, ever since DEFIANCE signed to be broadcasted on ESEN, we’ve been exposed to new names and faces, guys who are taking the wrestling world by storm with the extra eyeballs on them, and tonight we’ll see two of them in action.”

MILLWOOD: “That’s right, in one corner you have ‘COOL’ CANCER JILES who really made an impression at ULTRATITLE with his performances, and is currently the DEFIANCE World Heavyweight Champion. In the other corner is former DEFIANCE Champion BRONSON BOX, the badass Scotsman who is just about everywhere these days, blowing up on Twitter and whatnot. In fact, I would contend that these guys are the TWO hottest wrestling names on Twitter at the moment...”


MILLWOOD: “Well if you’d let me finish Jimmy, I was going to say it’s indicative of who the fans are interested in seeing, and there are a lot of people here tonight, myself included, who are looking forward to that one.”

MYLDE: “Hey, don’t come down on ME baby, I like these guys! And I heard there was some beef between the two, something about broken sunglasses? Listen up – if any of you greasy-pawed ANIMALS so much as breathed on my Aviators, there would be hell to pay. I’m talking about those things from Hellraiser coming out of the walls...what were they called, the Trilobytes?”

MILLWOOD: “Cenobytes.”

MYLDE: “You’d have Cenobytes coming out of the walls, dragging you back to their sick lair where they would torture your nipples and whatnot.”


MYLDE: “Look, I don’t know what I’m saying. But what I AM saying is...hey, is there a problem with my mic?”

OBERSTARR: “We can hear you fine, Jimmy.”

MYLDE: “Really? I feel like you can’t. Anyway, POINT IS: don’t mess with a man’s sunglasses. Especially mine. And Jiles’. That did happen, right?”



MILLWOOD: “Jimmy, I don’t know! We’re live! I can’t do your research live!”

MYLDE: “Alright, well, I hope what I’m saying is accurate. OK...ON WITH THE BROADCAST!”

OBERSTARR: “Before we get to our first match, ESEN’s SHAYNA GARRETT is standing by with one half of our main event. Take it away, Shayna.”

(CUTTO: Closeup on CASTOR STRIFE, his back turned to the camera, hands on waist, with an ‘elephant demon’ shaped submarine-blue gas mask pulled around to the back of his head and facing forward. The camera pulls back to reveal SHAYNA GARRET, an young, attractive African American female with red streaks in her hair, holding up an ESEN microphone)

GARRETT: “Thanks Brian. I am here with 2012 ULTRATITLE champion Castor V. Strife, less than two hours before he locks up with the legendary Dan Ryan.”

(Castor turns around slowly, eyes to the ceiling, jaw clenched. He is wearing a yellow-brown Castor V. Strife Productions t-shirt, featuring a jiggsawed owl on a perch above the Hindu deity Shiva, with slavish men and women at his feet. Streaking stars and diamond line the sides of the shirt)

GARRETT: “Now Castor, there is a lot of talk headed into this match that both you and Ryan have leveraged your legacies, so to speak, on the outcome. Tell us about the pressure you’re feeling tonight, and what a win or loss would mean to you.”

CASTOR: “Legacies can only be written about in the end, and I don’t think tonight is the end of either Dan or myself. It could be, if he takes it there; and I think you get my meaning, Dan. If you push me to the point where good health and retirement becomes a thought in my mind, I will drag you along every step of the way. I will make you pay twice for every half-pound you extract. You can’t afford not to be careful tonight in Dallas, Dan, I promise.”

“Now to your question, Shayna – this match may not be the last memory anybody has of Castor Strife or Dan Ryan, but as two men who will inevitably be linked together from now until history, when our names share a sentence, tonight will be talked about as the final battle in a larger war. I don’t think of this as the third in a series, the conclusion of something bigger; something that never ended. Maybe we meet again, someday, but it will never be larger than...this day. Dan Ryan should walk into that ring prepared for the greatest challenge of his career, and I’m confident that he will.”

GARRETT: “As far as what you’ll be bringing to the ring tonight, how would you summarize it?”

CASTOR: “In a word? (looks at the camera through the side of his eyes) Hell. We have fought in the first circle, and perhaps we’ve fought also in the second or third circle, but here in the city where Jack Kennedy’s head was ripped through with a magic bullet, and Jim Kelly’s heart was dragged twice through the streets by parade float, I am taking us on an express elevator to the ninth and final circle of the Inferno. We are the giants standing on the edge, but peruse deeper and you will also see Dan Ryan burning in the mouth of Judecca as I weep and bat my wings from a waist-deep prison of ice. For this level of the final circle of Hell might be torture, but if you follow me there, Dan, you will find that I am indeed its master and commander.” (Walks off camera)

GARRETT: (blinking, mouth slightly open in shock; she blows out an exhale) “Back to you guys!

(CUTTO: Oberstarr, Millwood, and Mylde at the PBP desk)

MILLWOOD: “Man, if that doesn’t fire you up, I don’t know what will! GODDAMN!”

OBERSTARR: “We’re also going to be hearing from Dan Ryan later on, and I can verify from seeing him enter the building earlier, he is as intense as I’ve ever seen him.”

MYLDE: “I had a hand in bringing Castor Strife up in the early days; I’m not sure how many people know that. We all knew he was a mega-talent in the making back then. Does that make me bias? No, because right now, Dan Ryan is the guy who signs my paychecks. If anything, I’m more inclined to give HIM the shine. But stepping back from all that, I’m gonna tell it like it is, LIKE I ALWAYS DO, and say that these two guys scare me more than anybody else in the industry. When they lock up tonight, it’s gonna be FIRE, baby! PURE FIRE!”

OBERSTARR: “We have to break for commercial, but when we get back, we’ll have our first match of the night! Stick around, we will return!”

(CUTTO: Music plays us out to the ESEN Presents: Dan Ryan vs. Castor Strife logo)



Where's my money, Chad?
Jul 3, 1997
The Silk Road
iii. Cancer Jiles v. Bronson Box

Let’s send it down to Defiance Wrestling commentators “Downtown” Darren Keebler and the “Motormouth of Malcontent” Angus Skaaland!.

Thank you, Brian. And a special thanks to all the fans tuning in tonight seeing DEFIANCE for the very first time! We could sit here all night long and talk about what it means to be Defiant or how we do our business, but we figured the best we could do is let Bronson Box and Cancer Jiles try to kill each other on a massive stage.

This ain’t gonna be no regular wrestling match either, Jack, this is another stop in an ongoing war between two of Defiance’s finest. These men could well kill each other here tonight.

There is pure wretched hatred between these two men and its honor to call this one, Ang!

Don’t be gay, fag.

[The opening riff to I Am The Cool by the ever industrious and crazy-eyed Screamin' Jay
Hawkins begins to play out through the BankAtlantic Center.]

<center>♫ I'm the one your mama warned you about ♫</center>
<center>♫ When you see me, I will leave you no doubt ♫</center>

[The fans begin to get loud with a mostly positive, but split reaction as COOL Cancer Jiles
makes his way out from the back, a smirk flashing briefly across his face. Cancer struts down
the ramp.]

<center>♫ I'm the coolest man that ever walked this earth ♫</center>
<center>♫ I am the coolest since the day of my birth ♫</center>

<center>♫ I am the COOL</center>

Darren Quimbey:
The following contest is a DEFIANCE exhibition match! It is set for one fall, with no time limit! Ladies and gentlemen... introducing first, hailing from Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, and weighing in at 222 lbs... he is COOL! CANNNCERR... JIIIILLLLLEESSS!

Cancer Jiles is the reason I’m here tonight.

Is there any other reason you show up to these things, Angus? Anyway, Jiles has his hands full tonight.

[The arena grows dim as the Defi-a-tron flickers to life.]

"He's a strongman from yesteryear."

[Cut in on a sepia-toned film reel of two men in black trunks, jerkily throwing one another around in the ring. The moves weren't flashy, they were just effective. A music box began to tinkle, slowly playing the familiar tune to "The Entertainer" by turn of the century musician Scott Joplin.]

"He's a throwback to a bygone era."

[A Model T Ford putt-putts by the camera, skinny little wheels rolling over a gravel road. The
driver smiles out the window, waving enthusiastically. The aged camera reel makes his waving look spastic, and frantic.]

"A relic of a time long ago."

[The music stops cold.]

"And he's the first ever DEFIANCE World Heavyweight Champion."

[The camera slowly goes black, then wipes horizontally in on a maniacally grinning Bronson Box standing behind a pulpit.]

<center>♫ You can run on for a long time... ♫</center>

[Johnny Cash's slow, soulful croon is a grim accompaniment to the Bombastic One, as we quick cut to a few short clips of Bronson performing some of his brutal signature maneuvers on various opponents. Most notably Stephen Greer, Boston Bancroft, Jimmy Kort and Eugene Dewey.]

<center>♫ Run on for a long time... ♫</center>

[The next series of clips is of the tragic night that Bronson turned on his tag team partner Evan Hurley, sending his former friend back first into the exposed turnbuckle with a viscous Bombasto Bomb. A metal on metal CLANG added for extra effect.]

<center>♫ Run on for a long time... ♫</center>

[Next we're witness to a series of Box applying The Boston Massacre on wrestlers of all shapes and sizes. We catch glimpses of Heidi Christenson, Edward White, Christian Light, Tom Sawyer and several other current DEFIANCE superstars all screaming in pain at The Wargod's hands.]

<center>♫ Run on for a long time... ♫</center>

[Finally a grainy sepia clip from the ladder war where Bronson unified the Defiance Crown with the WfWA World title to become DEFIANCE World Heavyweight champion. A bloody battered Boxer reaching down and snatching one belt from Boston Bancroft and adding it to his own... lifting both belts over his head in triumph. His greatest opponent a bloody heap at his feet.]

<center>♫ Sooner or later, God'll cut you down ♫</center>

And his opponent... hailing from the Scottish Highlands, and weighing in at 234 lbs! He is the Scottish Strongman, The Original Defiant... HE IS BRONSOOONNNNNNN... BOOOOOOOOOXXXX!!!!

Defiance referee, Mark Shields will be calling this one here tonight. He will have his hands full as well.

[Shields calsl for the bell to start the match as Bronson Box lunges at Jiles. Box grabs Jiles around the neck twisting his head. Jiles begins elbowing him in the mid section. Box has to finally release his hold from the sharp elbow blows. Jiles hits the ropes and takes down Box with a swinging neckbreaker.]

Down goes Bronson!

Jiles on the attack early.

[As Box gets to his feet Jiles takes him back off his feet with a standing drop kick. Jiles twists Box’s arm as he throws him in the ropes. Box bounces off the ropes and comes back toward a running Jiles. Box ducks low and Jiles completely clears him, Box hits the ropes on the opposite side and slings himself back into Jiles with a violent clothesline. The blow knocks Jiles off his feet and takes his breath. Bronson goes for the pin, Shields hits the mat for the count.]




Jiles just kicks out!

Just? Cancer is #WINNING. It’s Xyience.

Did you just sneak a product placement ad in there?

I certainly did!

[Box argues he got Cancer for three. Jiles is on one knee slowly getting back to his feet as Box turns back towards him. Jiles quickly pokes him in the eye with his back to the referee and the cheap shot is unseen. The Czar of Cool knees Box in the gut and hits a DDT on him as he slightly bends over. Jiles quickly follows up by running to the corner and climbing the turnbuckle. Box gets to his feet before Jiles can leap off onto him. He hits Jiles quickly in the mid-section. He climbs the turnbuckle stopping briefly to hammer Jiles in the face.]

Oh No! Bronson has been doing weird shit lately and now he’s on the ropes again!

At least he doesn’t look to be jumping off at anyone anytime soon.

[Bronson is still standing on the middle turnbuckle as he looks around at the crowd. He hits Jiles once, twice as the crowd begins to count as he hammers away at a now sitting Jiles on the top turnbuckle.]


[Box stops briefly before hitting him the tenth time as the crowd pops. He then hooks Jiles around the neck and steps up onto the top turnbuckle with Jiles. He leaps off flipping Jiles in mid-air from the top turnbuckle. The suplex from the top rope ends with a violent bang off the mat.]

[Box goes for the pin on Jiles.]




Jiles kicks out!

Did you see that suplex! WOW!

[Box and Jiles now both are on their backs after the failed pin. The suplex has taken its toll on both men as they both slowly get back to their feet. Jiles charges Box to catch him off guard suddenly. He wraps his arms around him as Box fights him off, he manages to slip around Bronson with his arms still wrapped around him. He lifts Box off the ground and over his head into a picture perfect german suplex!]

Textbook bridge by Jiles and he’s hanging on for another one!

[Box hits the mat and is disoriented as Jiles brings him back up, still holding him around his midsection. Jiles lifts him up once again for another violent german suplex. Cancer lets go this time and Box rolls out of the ring, landing on his hands and knees on the outside. He tries to catch his breath and gather his bearings.]

Cancer is in full control now!

Now if he doesn’t keep it up! What is he doing!?

[The referee begins his count with Box now on the outside of the ring. He slowly gets to his feet. Jiles bounces off the ropes to build momentum. It’s too late for Bronson as he looks in Jiles direction only to see him hurtling himself over the top rope and right at Bronson!]

Jiles is airborne!

[Jiles knocks Box down on the outside as the referee begins his count in the ring. He is slow to get up after hitting awkward after his high flying maneuver. Box begins hitting Jiles as he gets to his feet. The two men swap blows. Box uppercuts Cancer and he immediately counters with a jab. Box takes hold of Jiles wrist and slings him into the metal ring post!]

Oh Shit!

That looked nasty from here ladies and gentlemen!

[Bronson rolls Jiles back in the ring stopping the ref’s count at 9. Jiles shakes his head attempting to quickly recover from the shot he took from the post. Box gets back to his feet after rolling Jiles in then following behind him. He begins to stomp Cancer over and over, the referee stops him. He applies the Boston Massacre to Jiles! The referee slides in front of Cancer to ask him if he wants to tap.]


This could be it! That camel clutch has beaten many of the greats here in Defiance!

Not Today!

[Jiles squirms toward the bottom rope he’s closest too. He extends his arm just attempting to touch the rope at this point. He continues to refuse to tap out as he reaches and Box attempts to move closer to the middle of the ring with the hold applied. Cancer uses his elbows and hands to drag himself closer to that bottom rope. The crowd pops as Box acknowledges he’s applying more pressure. Cancer finally reaches the bottom rope and the referee breaks the hold.]

I knew he would figure a way out!

He does indeed save himself there with that bottom rope!

[Cancer slow to get to his feet as Bronson Box runs at Cancer attempting to squash him in the corner. No one at home as Jiles moves out of the way at the last second. He hits a bulldog on Bronson after his failed splash attempt. Box gets back to one knee and just as he does Jiles bounces off the ropes and kicks Box in the face. Jiles immediately goes for the pin and Box kicks out immediately.]

Kickout at one!

This is a great match.

[Box knees Jiles in the gut as he goes on the attack immediately after the failed pin. Bronson headbutts Jiles once, then again. The third violent headbutt leaves Cancer’s forehead bleeding. The referee checks to see if Cancer can continue, he pushes him out of his face, disgusted by the very question. Box begins to rain punches down on Jiles forehead where he has started to bleed.]

Jiles is busted open!

Damn headbutts!

[If Cancer Jiles gets involved in some sort of grudge match, or in a regular match, or sometimes if the wind shifts, he dons a crimson mask. He falls to one knee. Box grabs his bleeding victim by the hair and, thinking quickly, Jiles drops to his butt, bringing Box’s jaw down hard on the top of his head.]

Jawbreaker counter!

[Box stumbles back.]

The jawbreaker isn’t the most painful move in the world, but it messes up your vision and makes your eyes tear up, it’s great for giving yourself a couple extra seconds TO TAKE BOX’S HEAD OFF WITH TERMINAL CANCER! SUPERKICK! SUPERKICK BY JILES!

[The fans erupt as Jiles collapses on top of Box.]






The Original Monster! Is Lord COOL simply NOT COOL ENOUGH to stop the Box?

[Keebler does a spit-take.]

Did you just say that out loud?

Say what?

[Jiles slaps the mat with his hand and, leaving Box to slowly struggle to his feet, climbs the turnbuckle once again.]

I don’t know what Cancer is setting up here...

[Box pulls himself to his feet, he’s wobbly.]

[And Jiles does a front flip off the turnbuckle.]

[Box turns in precisely the wrong direction.]


[Jiles extends that choppin’ arm, and brings his reinforced hand down square on top of Box’s head with so much forward momentum that Box’s eyes go crossed as his face explodes in blood and goo, and the crowd goes apefuck.]



[Box’s knees buckle and he falls over backwards, his ankles bending under him. Jiles drops down on top of him.]

Here goes Jiles for the cover!





Cancer Jiles picks up the duke with a 450 version of the Mongo Chop! That’s something that he’s never even tried before and it was surely a spectacle for this capacity crowd to witness!

[Jiles rolls over and gets to his knees, then his feet. His forehead is cascading blood, but he’s won the match. He half falls out of the ring and stumbles up the aisle.]

[Box rolls over.]

Box took an incredible move shot there and... oh God.

[Keebler trails off as the camera sets a close-up of the Scottish Strongman’s face.]

[More importantly...]


[The socket of his left eye is all swollen and squishy looking, and his eye is bulging out from it, bloodshot and motionless.]

*HLK... bluuurrrrrrrrrchhh*

[The medics are already on their way out to the ring, but as the first one arrives, Box takes a swing. It’s only the fact that he’s exhausted and seeing out of one eye that the medic dodges the punch aimed at his jaw.]

Fans... oh dear. As you can see, Box has suffered... I’m sorry, I don’t know what the medical term for it is, but his eye has been knocked loose from its socket, and he’s still refusing medical treatment.


[Clutching the side of his face, the injured eye socket, Box walks up the ramp, a pack of medics following at a safe distance.]

Somebody, take it away, send it back to the studio or SOMETHING! The man’s eye is laying out on his cheekbone and he’s trying to kill ten referees!

[Cut away]


Where's my money, Chad?
Jul 3, 1997
The Silk Road
iv. Rezin v. Teddy Alexander v. Jack Harmen


...as we await a brave matchwriter to submit material.


Where's my money, Chad?
Jul 3, 1997
The Silk Road
v. Impulse v. 'Triple X' Sean Stevens

The first invisible match in ESEN history!

(Pete, help!)


Where's my money, Chad?
Jul 3, 1997
The Silk Road
vi. 'The Egobuster' Dan Ryan v. Castor V. Strife

(FADEIN: The ESEN PBP desk, where OBERSTARR, MILLWOOD, and MYLDE are sitting)

OBERSTARR: “Well gentleman, it’s been a memorable night so far, and if we ended now, you’d say it was a four-star night; big names, big action, exciting outcomes. But we’re about to go to the fifth-star, because the time has come for our main event. Two juggernauts of the industry: DAN RYAN versus CASTOR STRIFE. We’ve analyzed this one to death – let’s move to speculation. Who do you got? Dan or Castor? Devin, we’ll start with you.”

MILLWOOD: “No way. This is too close, and I know better than to pick against either one of these guys.”


MYLDE: “I’ll say this: if Castor hits the Director’s Cut, he will probably win. If Dan Ryan hits the Humility Bomb, then HE will be the one who probably wins.”

MILLWOOD: “Way to go out on a limb, Jimmy.”

MYLDE: “That’s why they call me The Mylde One – never BOLD!”

OBERSTARR: “Let’s take it over to Jimmy Lennon Jr. for the announcements!”

(SFX: Bell rings three times)

(CUTTO: JIMMY LENNON JR., world famous boxing announcer, standing at center ring wearing a black tuxedo and holding cue cards)

LENNON JR: “Ladies and gentleman, welcome to Jerry World in BIG D, the entertainment capital of the southwest, Dallas, Texas. It is TIME for our MAIN EVENT of the EVENING, brought to you by Castor Strife Productions, Dan Ryan Entertainment Inc, Jerry Jones, and Red Bull.”


LENNON JR: “For the thousands in attendance and the millions of people watching at home on ESEN and SETANTA SPORTS...IIIIIIIIT’S SHOOOOWWWWWTIME!”


(Pan from the crowd as the arena GOES DARK. Camera cuts to the entrance where one by one, horizontal lights of different color pop on with dramatic effect and a electronic sound effect: WHITE, BLUE, GOLD, RED, BLUE, GOLD, ORANGE, PURPLE, WHITE, GOLD, RED, BLUE. Now they flicker, each one timed faster than the next as a wall of gray mist lights begins to grow on a mobile screen located directly behind. The big screen above suddenly turns on with a sound effect and a picture of a black bunny-eared gas mask pasted over a bright white background. The crowd POPS when they see this)

(CUEUP: “Ultra” by KMFDM)

(Spotlights form over three circular elevator platforms one by one. On the far left, the first platform rises up with a MAN IN A BLACK SAMURAI STYLE GASMASK. He stays still, as the second platform, on the far right, lights up and rises with a SECOND MAN IN A PURPLE MICKEY MOUSE GAS MASK on it. He also stands there unmoving, as the third and middle platform lights up and rises with a much larger THIRD MAN IN AN ELEPHANT DEVIL GAS MASK standing on it)


(All three men survey the crowd and each other, walking out in unison to the top of the entrance ramp. They stop and look around once more. The man on the left rips off his mask and reveals NOT CASTOR STRIFE. The man on the right now removes his ask and reveals NOT CASTOR STRIFE. Finally the man in the middle removes his mask and reveals...NOT CASTOR STRIFE!)


(Suddenly, another man appears power walking from the entrance, this one wearing a DAN RYAN GAS MASK; the crowd gets louder, and the man continues his power walk as he removes his mask – this time it’s the real CASTOR V. STRIFE! The crowd POPS HUGE as the three impostors put their masks back on and follow him down to the ring)

“And when you take me in your mind,
Into this dirty sodden shrine.
I do not need you anymore,
You cannot hurt me anymore”

(CASTOR throws his mask into the crowd. He is wearing blue spandex tights with yellow stars and zodiacal signs imprinted all over. He is also wearing a black t-shirt featuring a photo of Jerry Jones and the word ‘GANGSTER’ written above)

“Keep it away from the fire unless you want it to burn,
It burns wildfire.”

Your wildfire,
Don’t take it from me!
Wildfire – GIVE IT TO ME!
Set on fire – don’t take it from me!”
Your wildfire – TAKE IT!”


(CASTOR steps into the ring as the lights come on. His impostors exit through the crowd, and he throws his arms up to mass cheers)

OBERSTARR: “Few have dominated the industry the way that man has. In just a few short years, he racked up over 30 victories and four major World Championship victories, starting with the PRIME Universal Title. He won that belt in only three months time, setting a record in that organization. Then came the A1E World Heavyweight Championship, and of course the heralded NFW World Heavyweight Championship. He capped it all off last fall by racking up six victories en route to being crowned the 2012 ULTRATITLE Champion.”

MILLWOOD: “And that was the night Dan Ryan appeared to crown him – literally. He planted Castor in the center of the ring, and laid down the gauntlet for tonight’s match.”

OBERSTARR: “That’s right. Ever the showman, Strife is, with the entrance he just made. You know this night is one of the most important in his career.”

MILLWOOD: “He said it himself, leading up to this!”

(CASTOR backs up into a corner and leaps up to sit on the top turnbuckle in wait of his opponent)

(Lights dim – five second pause – CUEUP: “Zero” by The Smashing Pumpkins)


(CUTTO: A platform rises from beneath the center of the platform. As it approaches the surfaces, we begin to see a giant flag, and then DAN RYAN who is carrying that flag. Dan is all business in his Spartan-like attire – black trunks to match his elbow and knee pads. He’s also wearing a t-shirt featuring Tony Romo agonizing on the field with injury)

“My reflection, dirty mirror
There’s no connection, to myself
I’m your lover, I’m you zero
I’m the face in your dreams of glass.”

(As Dan begins to make his way to the ring, the stadium erupts in BOOS when they see the image on his flag – a Dallas Cowboys helmet with a giant black X over it)

MYLDE: “As a New Jersey native, I wholeheartedly APPROVE this message!”

OBERSTARR: “I’ll stay neutral on this one.”

MILLWOOD: “I won’t. Go Ravens.”

MYLDE: “Hey, suck an egg Millwood! This is NFC East business.”

OBERSTARR: “Dan Ryan is a Texans fan!”

MYLDE: “WELL HE’S INVOLVING HIMSELF IN NFC EAST BUSINESS! It’s all about Big Blue down in Big D, Oberstarr. Get with it!”

“So save your prayers
For when we’re really gonna need ‘em
Throw out your cares and fly
Wanna go for a ride?”

(Dan slides the flag into the ring and follows by pulling himself up on the apron and entering. Now in the center of the ring, he begins waving the anti-Cowboys flag proudly to raucous BOOS! They grow to a fever pitch when he promptly flips off Jerry Jones up in the skybox. CUTTO: Jerry Jones pursing his lips and shaking his head. CUTTO: Castor Strife shrugging)

OBERSTARR: “Well...somebody had to be the bad guy tonight, it might as well be Dan! These two men are incredibly popular worldwide, and I know the fans have been split on the question of WHO WILL WIN?”

MILLWOOD: “I’ve spent a lot of years watching both men, and I’ve come to the conclusion that while Castor Strife definitely feeds off positive vibes from the crowd, Dan Ryan is completely the opposite. The more hate you send his way, the harder he’s going to shove it down the throat of his opponent.”

OBERSTARR: “Here is Jimmy Lennon Jr. with the introductions!”

(SFX: Bell rings three times, slow)

(CUTTO: Ring announcer Jimmy Lennon Jr. in a black suit and bowtie as the mic drops in front of him)

LENNON JR: “For the wrestling fans in attendance and those watching LIVE on ESEN...iiiiiiiiitttttt’sss SHOWTIME! (CUTTO: Castor bouncing up and down in his corner; CUTTO: Dan Ryan pacing in his) One fall and a time limit of ZERO as we prepare to watch these two prolific heavyweights go to battle for a THIRD time! INTRODUCING FIRST...standing in the corner to my left...”

(CUTTO: CASTOR STRIFE pulling back on the ropes before turning to face Ryan, bouncing on his toes)

LENNON JR: “He stands SIX FOOT THREE and comes to us tonight weighing in at TWO HUNDRED and FORTY SEVEN POUNDS! He is the former NFW World Heavyweight Champion, the former PRIME Universal Champion, the former A1E World Heavyweight Champion, and the REIGNING ESEN 2012 ULTRATITLE CHAMPION! Hailing from HOLLYWOOD, CALIIIIFOOOORRRNNIIIAAAA! (Cheers grow louder) ‘THE GOD OF SNUFF!’ ‘THE FINAL SCENE!’ ‘THE GOLDEN DREAM!’ CCCCAAAAAASSSSTTTOOOOOOORRRRRR VEEEEEEEEEEE SSSSSTTTTRRRRIIIIIIIIIIIIIFFFFFFFFFEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

(Crowd ROARS with cheers as Castor throws his arms out like a victorious gladiator, nodding his head confidently to encourage more)

LENNON JR: “AND HIS OPPONENT! (BOOS!) Standing in the corner to my right...”

(CUTTO: DAN RYAN standing tall and stoic with his massive arms folded, sweat beading on his head and arms as he stares across the ring at Castor with a hard glare)

LENNON JR: “He stands SIX FOOT SEVEN and comes to us tonight weighing in at a massive THREE HUNDRED and TEN POUNDS! He is also the former NFW World Heavyweight Champion, the former GXW World Heavyweight Champion, the former A1E, REBEL Pro, VPW, and various other organizations too numerous to name tonight, WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION, and the TWO-TIME and REIGNING CSWA UNIFIED WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION! Hailing from HOUSTON, TEXAAAASSSS! THE THIRTEEN TIME WORLD CHAMPIIIOOOOONNNN!!!! ‘THE EGO BUSTER’...DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNN RRRRRRRRYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

(Some boos continue due to his anti-Dallas antics, but the crowd mostly erupts in cheers out of respect and admiration for the legendary Dan Ryan, who does not move, continuing to stare ahead at Strife. There is also a HUGE contingent from Houston in attendance that gives him a standing ovation!)

LENNON JR: “Our referee tonight is MITCH LONG.”

(CUTTO: Mitch Long, a 6’5 black man with the top heavy look of an old-time boxer, gather Dan and Castor at the center of the ring where a hard staredown commences)

LONG: “Gentleman, you know the rules. There is no time limit tonight. One fall wins it, and we MUST have a winner. I will not countout or disqualify either of you, but if outside interference or foreign objects are introduced into the match, I will call for a temporary stop in action. Do you understand the rules? (Both men nod) Alright, shake hands if you wish, and go back to your corners.”

(After a brief pause, Dan and Castor pound fists while keeping their stares, and move back)

OBERSTARR: “Both these men have a strong mutual admiration and respect for one another, which only compounds their desire to beat the other.”

MILLWOOD: “This is going to be a dogfight; an absolute dogfight.”

(SFX: Bell rings)

OBERSTARR: “Here we go! Ryan, Strife, TITANS OF THE INDUSTRY, and we must have a winner! (Crowd ‘OOOHs’) Dan comes right out with a charge, but Castor circles away! Dan drops his level, looks to pick an ankle BUT COMES UP HIGH AND HAMMERS A RIGHT HAND INTO THE FACE OF STRIFE! HE FOLLOWS UP WITH TWO MORE, but Castor bounces off the turnbuckle and escapes the corner before Dan can trap him!”

MYLDE: “Dan is headhunting!”

OBERSTARR: “Clearly Dan Ryan is looking to keep the pressure on here in the opening minute. This will certainly be a test of stamina for Strife, as the first two matches were. Castor now on all fours like a money, crawling at Ryan in a very unorthodox stance, AND EXPLODES WITH A FRONT DROPKICK! Castor lands on his back and quickly rolls back up to his feet.”

MILLWOOD: “I don’t know how much damage that did, but it was effective gamesmanship at the very least.”

OBERSTARR: “Dan smiles and lunges forward with a duck-under that Castor steps back to avoid. Amateur wrestling prowess on display from ‘The Ego Buster’. Now Castor leaps in with a leg-scissors takedown, but it’s blocked by Ryan! Dan lifts him up from the waist and DRIVES HIM DOWN INTO THE MAT FACE FIRST!”

MILLWOOD: “Big mistake on the part of Castor Strife! Dan Ryan’s is the pro-wrestling equivalent to Alexander Karelin, and Castor just got caught big time!”

OBERSTARR: “Ryan picks Castor back up and SNAPS him back with a suplex! Ryan is wasting no time going after Strife with high impact slams and hard amateur wrestling in the opening minutes. Now he sends Strife into the corner and RUNS IN WITH A FOLLOW-UP BACK ELBOW! He backs him into the corner again and this time holds a boot into the neck of the Ultratitle Champion! Mitch Long is letting it go, and by Ryan relents of his own choosing. Castor slowly moves out of the corner BUT RYAN TURNS AROUND AND CLOTHESLINES HIM BACK IN!”

(Ryan backs off to the center of the ring and taunts Castor to come and meet him there)

MYLDE: “Castor looks like he’s in a fog. Dan is getting cocky now!”

MILLWOOD: “I don’t know if that’s cockiness, Jimmy. Dan believes he can beat this man and he’s confidently displaying that ability early on.”

MYLDE: “Cocky is confidence with a semi. Remember that, kid!”

OBERSTARR: “Castor opts to slide to the outside of the ring for a breather – BUT DAN CHASES AFTER HIM! Castor quickly slides back in...”

(Castor gets ready to pelt a re-entering Dan Ryan with a soccer kick, but Dan pauses, smiles, points to his head and walks up the steps. Crowd ‘OOOHs’)

OBERSTARR: “Oooh, wise move by the 13-time champion.”

MYLDE: “That’s one of Castor’s favorite little bait and switch moves. I’ve seen him use it countless times to swing momentum in a match. Dan took the bait on the purpose, just to expose it and send a message. That’s a chess counter right there!”

MILLWOOD: “I’m surprised Castor went for it that early. It’s a little desperate, to be quite honest.”

OBERSTARR: “Nevertheless it gave him some breathing time. Now the two men lock up at center-ring, and Ryan immediately takes Castor with a waist-lock! Castor drops his base, locks up a kimura, and takes Ryan over with a sweeping hip throw! The Japanese judoka call it harai goshi. Castor transitions to an armbar and holds Ryan, but Ryan now LIFTS CASTOR UP AND SLAMS HIM AGAIN! THIS TIME ON HIS HEAD! HE GOES FOR A STOMP BUT CASTOR ROLLS AWAY AND COMES BACK WITH A RUNNING CLOTHESLINE THAT KNOCKS RYAN DOWN!”

MILLWOOD: “Great explosive power from Strife! The fact that he could execute both the throw and the knockdown clothesline on a guy of Ryan’s size with such ease shows you what a threat this guy is!”

OBERSTARR: “Castor sends Ryan with an Irish whip, and comes running off the ropes himself with a FLYING KNEE – NO! RYAN CATCHES HIM MID-AIR! CASTOR TRIES TO ROLL OVER HIS BACK BUT RYAN JUGGLES HIM INTO A HOLD – DEATH VALLEY DRIVER!”



MILLWOOD: “Just when you think the momentum’s turned, Ryan pulls a devastating stopper like that from his arsenal! No matter how hurt you think you have him, Dan Ryan can brutalize you at a moment’s notice!”

MYLDE: “He should have pushed Strife higher and let him land. He might have broken his neck, Sterling Sharpe style!”

MILLWOOD: “You can kiss that ESPN dream job goodbye after that, Jimmy.”

MYLDE: “Screw them, I’m on ESEN, baby! With an E!”

OBERSTARR: “Dan puts Castor into the corner and DRIVES a front elbow into his jaw! He follows it up with another one! Irish whip to the opposite corner, but Castor leaps back off the second turnbuckle – CAUGHT AGAIN! AND RYAN DROPS HIM IN A VICIOUS BACKBREAKER! Quick cover! ONE! TWO! And a kickout by Strife!”

MILLWOOD: “Castor is trying to match him tit for tat, and I think that’s a mistake. He can’t impose his will on Dan Ryan the way he does with most everybody else, and that’s a lesson he learned in the first two matches. There is no question that in both those matches, Dan had the majority of offense, and it was for this very reason. Castor needs to string together a series of effectively timed maneuvers that sets Ryan up for a potential finish.”

MYLDE: “Good thinking, General Custer. Why don’t you go in there and try it out yourself?”

MILLWOOD: “Hey, that’s not my job, Jimmy. I’m an analyst, not an athlete.”

MYLDE: “You’re goddamn right you’re not!”

MILLWOOD: “Can we get back to the match please?”



MYLDE: “Sorry...flasbacks.”

MILLWOOD: “Did YOU serve in Vietnam?”

MYLDE: “No, but I’ve been dealing with post-traumatic draft dodging disorder ever since I high-tailed it to Canada in ’71. Border jumping is stressful, kid, and I pray you never have to experience it yourself! Charlie’s idea of R&R was cold maple syrup and a little bacon meat.”

MILLWOOD: “Charlie who?!”

MYLDE: “Charlie Sutter, from Nova Scotia! Yeah, he housed me ‘til the whole draft business blew over, baby!”

OBERSTARR: “Aaaand back to the main event! Dan has Castor in the corner and PUNISHES him with a big forearm uppercut to the chin! Snap mares him out and now drives his knee into the spine of Strife!”

MILLWOOD: “Castor has prior back injuries that have plagued him in the past. Dan knows this, for sure, and is picking his spots wisely!”

OBERSTARR: “Right on the money Devin, as Ryan sends Castor off the ropes and DRIVES HIM DOWN hard with a spinebuster! Dan is signaling for the end – THIS MATCH ISN’T GOING THE DISTANCE! The Egosbuster wants to put an end to this rivalry, and a nail in Strife’s coffin!”

MILLWOOD: “It’s too early in the match for this! He needs to wear Castor down more!”

OBERSTARR: “He’s got him set up for the HUMILITY BOMB! But Castor pulls the legs out and steps into a Cloverleaf! Dan pushes him away! Castor comes running at him with a clothesline, but Dan ducks under! FULL-NELSON! OH NO! OH NO!”





MYLDE: “Strife’s got too much left in the tank at this juncture!”

OBERSTARR: “Ryan sends Strife over to the outside and follows him there! Now he’s pummeling him with shots to the head. IRISH WHIP INTO THE STEEL RAILING!”

MILLWOOD: “This is Ryan sending a message: he’s going to break Castor early. He doesn’t just want to win – he wants the type of victory that sends a message to the rest of the industry on who DEFINITIVELY is the best around! “

OBERSTARR: “RYAN DROPS STRIFE CHIN FIRST ONTO THE RAILING! He’s walking over and pulls the folding chair out from underneath timekeeper Ricardo Montagno Esteban Rodriguez!”

MYLDE: “Come on, let the man sit!”

OBERSTARR: “Referee Rich Long is on the outside now, attempting to pull away the chair from Ryan!”

MILLWOOD: “Remember, he said there would be a stop in the action if anyone were to use foreign objects!”

OBERSTARR: “Ryan throws the chair at Strife’s head, and Long issues him a final warning! Ryan pushes the referee out of the way and resumes his assault on Strife!”

MYLDE: “Castor is bleeding from the mouth!”

OBERSTARR: “Ryan goes for the Irish whip to the other steel railing, but Castor reverses him! He runs over and PUNTS Ryan in the face! Ryan is rolling now, on his back! Strife gets back into the ring!”

(Ryan is slow to his feet, and Castor waits intently at the center of the ring)




(Another minute passes before both men get up and crawl to the ring. Castor is in first, followed by Ryan)

MILLWOOD: “This is a big turning point in the match. Whoever wrestles control here may be on their way to victory!”

OBERSTARR: “Castor delivers a BIG KNEE to Ryan’s face! Belly to belly, and now Ryan is down!”

(Competing crowd chants for both Castor and Ryan)

OBERSTARR: “Castor picks Ryan up in a fireman’s carry – HE’S SETTING HIM UP FOR THE CULT CLASSIC!”

MILLWOOD: “If he hits this, it’s the beginning of the end!”

OBERSTTAR: “Dan fights out and lands behind Castor! Full nelson again!”



MYLDE: “He’s not going for the cover!”

MILLWOOD: “Smart move, Ryan knows he can’t let up on Castor! He needs to transition this to more punishment!”

OBERSTARR: “Ryan has him up again!”


MILLWOOD: “THIS IS NOT GOOD FOR CASTOR STRIFE, BRIAN! Things are going downhill quick!”

OBERSTARR: “Dan is calling for the Humility Bomb, but...wait a minute, he’s taking Castor over to the turnbuckles.”

MYLDE: “What the hell?”

MILLWOOD: “Oh...my...GOD...”

OBERSTARR: “He’s climbing, with Castor! Dan Ryan is going to attempt the Humility Bomb from the TOP ROPE!””


MILLWOOD: “Dan has dominated much of this match, and as much I hate to call it early, this match looks over. It just...it looks over!”

OBERSTARR: “We’ve known Castor to be somewhat of a cat with 9 lives, but 8 of those might have been used up in the previous two matches with Dan Ryan!”

“Now Dan goes to lift him – but Castor DRIVES an elbow into his mid-section!”

“Dan axe-handles his back, and Castor winces and drops! Dan attempts again, but Castor is holding the rope! Now Castor pulls him out and KICKS the second rope! DAN FALLS GROIN FIRST ONTO THE TURNBUCKLE!”

MILLWOOD: “Great last gasp from Castor Strife. He needs to prolong this match as much as possible.”

OBERSTARR: “Castor throws a superman elbow at Ryan who is still hung up on the top turnbuckle! Here comes Castor off the ropes now...”









(SFX: Bell rings)


MYLDE: “What...just...happened?”

(CUEUP: “Ultra” by KMFDM)

MILLWOOD: “That was the most awkward landing I have ever seen in all my time covering the sport.”


MILLWOOD: “Take a look at the replay here. Castor left his feet, grabbed Ryan’s neck, and as he turns, Castor’s body continues forward while Ryan’s neck is pulled down. There is a delay before Ryan is eventually pulled off the turnbuckle, and he comes down with a ton of weight on that neck. It’s not quite a full neckbreaker, but Castor generated the same torque and power he usually does, and Ryan lands on the back of his head, with all that weight toppling down and driving him into the mat.”

OBERSTARR: “He literally knocked him out!”

MILLWOOD: “Exactly. And we see now Ryan is alert and asking Referee Rich Long what happened, and he looks to be in shock right now as this match looked to be in the bag for him. It’s been a while since we’ve seen Castor pushed around like that in a match. Ryan truly had the upper hand, but he became overaggressive and paid for it.”

OBERSTARR: “Ryan wasn’t out that long. It looked to be a flash knockout. His neck might have sustained more damage than his head – he landed extremely awkward, but from here he does look to be fine, and is now congratulating Castor Strife in a great show of sportsmanship from both men.”

MILLWOOD: “I have honestly not seen a shock ending like that since Pacquiao-Marquez. This finish reminded me very much of that bout.”

OBERSTARR: “And in the blink of an eye, Castor Strife has knocked out and defeated perhaps the greatest living wrestler on the planet, a man who has knocked down every door, won every title, and dominated just about every opponent he’s faced. Neither him or Castor could find a way to beat the other after two matches, but after tonight, Castor Strife – reigning Ultratitle champion who is coming off a year reign with the NFW World Heavyweight Championship – has defeated Dan Ryan and in doing so has made a serious argument for being the number one pound-for-pound wrestler in the world right now.”

MILLWOOD: “It’s between him and Impulse, who recently took his title in NFW. And I have a feeling that we’ll be seeing those two in the ring once again.”

MYLDE: “We can’t forget EPW’s World Champion, The First, who has quietly dominated and racked up one of the most impressive win streaks in the game today!”

OBERSTARR: “Wrestling fans will continue the debate, I’m sure, but tonight Castor Strife has put another HUGE feather in his cap with perhaps the most important win of his career. Let’s go over to Jimmy Lennon Jr. for the official decision.”

(CUTTO: Center ring, where a mob of people surround CASTOR STRIFE and DAN RYAN who each stand beside Referee Rich Long)

LENNON JR: “Ladies and gentlemen, Referee Rich Long has called a stop to this contest at 15:37 after a pinfall three-count. AND HERE IS YOUR WINNER VIA PINFAAAALLLLLL...CAAAAASSSTTTOOOORRRR VVVEEEEEEEEEE STTTRRRRRIIIIIIIIIIIIIFFFFFEEEEE!!!!”

(Referee raises Castor’s arm as Ryan walks over to congratulate him)

OBERSTARR: “Our very own Devin Millwood is standing by with the winner, Castor Strife.”

(CUTTO: Millwood with the microphone next to Castor)

MILLWOOD: “Congratulations on an epic win, Castor. It looked for a while that Dan had you finished. Did you feel at any point that the match was slipping away, and did that feed your sense of urgency?”

CASTOR: “Going for the finish that early was not part of my strategy, but as we know...you adjust on the fly based on what you see from your opponent. Dan took control of the match and decided to up the ante, and bring us into high-risk territory. He laid his entire hand on the table, and I responded in-kind.”

MILLWOOD: “Talk about what this win means to you.”

CASTOR: “Well, I would like to thank Dan for calling me out and putting this match together. What we have done here tonight is unprecedented, and he was as big a part of that as I was. Obviously Dan is one of the most feared men in this business, and has been for a long time. Our careers have certain parallels to them. Defeating him was important, especially in light of what happened the first two times we met. Neither one of us was content moving forward without resolving this little business of ours, and I am glad to end this chapter of my career on a positive note. Nobody has hurt me more in the ring than that man over there (points at Dan). He put serious doubt into me tonight, but I’ve been to hell and back, Devin. No man can stop me from destiny.”

MILLWOOD: “And what is that destiny?”

CASTOR: “My destiny is to reach a level of greatness that no other man has dreamed, let alone achieved. When I say I’m going to do something, I make it a reality. Dan has built up an industry around him, with EPW and his own brand. If you look at what I’m doing now, I have made Castor Strife Productions a force to be reckoned with. Any time I want, I can put on my own show, and draft talent of the highest level into the organization of my choosing. My disciples will dominate this industry long after I’m gone.”

MILLWOOD: “Is that a shot at NFW? Honestly.”

CASTOR: “Take it for what you will. NFW knows how to get in touch with me. I don’t need the New Frontier to be the best in the world, but they’ll get along just fine without me. But the question is: do they want to? See, they have a pest problem. We all know its name. And everybody knows that there is only one man capable of getting rid of him. I am the cure for the plague on the New Frontier. Eddie Mayfield, you have my number.”

(Castor steps away from the mic)

MILLWOOD: “Back to you, Brian.”

OBERSTARR: “It was a night to remember. Talent from the organizations all over the world, capped off with Impulse and Stevens in our co-main, and of course the shocking conclusion to our main event with Castor Strife defeating the legendary Dan Ryan. Jimmy, any final thoughts?”

MYLDE: “Yes. If this truly is my last night on cable television, I’d like to tell my bitch of an ex-wife that she’s never seeing another DIME from me, baby. THE KIDS ARE ALL GROWN UP! You can kiss child support GOODBYE!”

OBERSTARR: “Fair enough. For Jimmy Mylde, I’m Brian Oberstarr saying SO LONG!”

(ESEN Logo)

Copyright 2013 ESEN


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