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Extremely Unexpected Wrestler Cameo


League Member
Jan 1, 2000
Niagara, ON, Canada
(It's dark. For the moment, the only light is cast by a television screen that seems to hang in midair. Caught by a slightly crooked camera, the screen shows a slightly washed-out track of the tail end of a recent promotional segment. The words of EUWC's Jay Smash seem tinny and hollow in the dim.)

"Otherwise… oh boy.. I’m sure we are gonna get hurt in this Piece of Sh*t Memorial Tournament. I’ve renamed the tournament. So, hey, let me know what we’ve got here in terms of agreement and we will get together, have lunch and possibly hit the ring once or twice before this match. Can’t wait to hear from ya, and for everyone else, like the referees that judge these types of matches, and the staff that works on getting these results on television quickly, and even the guys that run this whole things… really, just for everything we’ve been through together, f*ck you very much… hate you a-"

(With an abrupt burst of static, the television cuts to black, leaving the room in darkness. It hangs that way for a moment before a low, calm voice, deep, somewhat gravelly, and edged with a malicious sort of cunning, can be heard.)

??: "The Piece of Sh** Memorial Tournament, huh... is that what I heard."

(Click! With startling suddenness, a dim orange-yellow desk lamp clicks on, just barely illuminating the face and shoulders of a dark, severe-faced man with a goatee. To most fans of the FW Central circuit, Christian Sands is instantly recognizable.)

SANDS: "Because I could have sworn this tournament was in honour of a man named Chad Dupree."

"It's been a little while since I've shown my face around here. I've been content to watch from afar, look in every now and then. And I don't like what I see here in front of my eyes."

"The rumours coming out of the locker room tell me that Jay Smash and the EUWC contigent have their britches in a twist. Seems that, when faced with their own inadequacy in the squared circle, they turn and cry foul. Suddenly this tournament in honour of a great man, Chad Dupree, is magically in honour of a piece of sh**. Suddenly it's the fault of the referees, and the production monkeys, and the suits in head office. Suddenly the blame is on the shoulders of everyone but Jay Smash."


(He smirks. A low, dry laugh follows. It's not a very pleasant laugh.)

"Has it occurred to you, Smash, that you lose because you simply suck ass?"

"You say that you fought hard. You say that you busted your ass. But you fail to realize that hard work on its own is worth absolutely d*ck. For all your hard work, all you and your friends have shown us is that the EUWC is full of whiny p*ssies who can't take their lumps like men."

"Men who deal with their defeat by turning to piss on the ashes of the dead."

(The smirk vanishes.)

"I knew Chad Dupree in life. I was privileged to call Chad Dupree my friend. Let it be known here and now that his life extended well beyond the EUWC, whatever the f*ck that is. Were it not for Chad Dupree's management of GXW, I wouldn't be here. Chad Dupree is one of the men who made me the man I am."

"Funny thing. I was never a part of EUWC."

"You back up your whining by claiming Chad's name, but the truth is this: The only thing you p*ssies can claim is the contempt of your peers. Though that shouldn't matter to you, given that you've just called one of the best men in this world a piece of sh**, all while using his name as a weapon."

"If you truly gave a **** about Chad you would show him the respect that he deserves. But apparently the concept of respect for a great man is beyond the small minds of EUWC's 'finest'."

"No matter how hard you work, Jay Smash, you will never be respected. No matter how much you bust your ass, you will never be seen as a contender. You've dug yourself a deep grave, scamp, and a grave that deep is a b*tch to climb out of."

"Your arrogant, whiny bullsh** is dead to me, EUWC. You're on notice. Dig that grave any deeper, and you'll end up buried."

(Click - the light suddenly goes out again, leaving only the black.)

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