OOC: Read slowly, as some words are misspelled intentionally for effect.
Oakland, CA- Suffering from their loss at the hands of UCW World Champion The First and his sometimes partner and more often enemy Cameron Cruise, both Jean Claude and Pierre of the French Commandos decide that there is more to this whole "American thing" than they originally believed.
Their quest to figure it all out continues...
The camera fades into a football stadium. Because of copywrite infringement issues, the teams are not depicted as National Football League teams, but if they were then the two teams playing would be the Oakland Raiders and the San Francisco 49ers. It's a God-awful game, with more fumbles than a juggler juggling on a freshly waxed floor while doing the "Running Man" MC Hammer style.
As the camera pans around the stadium, it zooms into our two anti-heroes, Jean Claude and Pierre. They are badly beaten and bruised, and look to be doing well just to be able to see straight.
Jean Claude: Do not fret, dear part'nair. Zose two men who we fought two days ago were zee two best in zis company. We did well.
Pierre: Jean Claude, I know we did well. I just can't help myself, zo. My back aches a tremendously great deal.
An audible hard-hitting crunching sound is heard over their conversation.
Jean Claude: Sacrableu! Why did zat cheerleader tackle zat football man in his black jairzee (jersey)?
Pierre: I z'ink (think) zat he was running from from zee man in zee gold helmet, but he ran into zee cheerlee'dair.
Jean Claude: Ah! Zat would explain why he was screaming as he was running... and why zee cheerlee'dair didn't move.
Pierre: My head may be hurting from our recent match, but I do not z'ink that zeez men are so good at 'zair sport.
After saying these words, Pierre ponders for a moment before continuing.
Pierre: Jean Claude, what are we doing here?
Jean Claude: It is simple, Pierre. We are here to understand zee Americans. We came to zis country to show them what being French is all about, but in order to do zis we need to understand what it is to be zee Americans.
Pierre: I am not so sure zat I am following zee logic, monsieur.
Jean: It is like zis... take our opponents for zee pay'pair'view. Zay call zemselves FATE, or (speaks a whole bunch of French jibberish that sounds like the Chef from the Muppets), if you will. Zay are an in'tair'esting combination, with delusions of grandeur. Zay are strange, to be sure, but zay are American. Zee one believes herself to be a dee'mon from zee hellmouth or zome'sing to zat effect.
Pierre: Ooh! Like zee ones from Buffy zee Vampire Slay'air?
Jean Claude: Very similar, my simple friend.
Pierre: I like zee Buffy. She is so in touch wiss her feelings.
Jean Claude annoyedly shakes his head.
Jean Claude: As I was saying, zees two are American. If we are to show zem what true tag team wrestling is all about, zen we must und'air'stand where zee Americans are coming from.
Pierre scratches his head before a figurative light bulb turns on above his head and he suddenly appears like he understands.
Pierre: So what you are saying is zat to und'air'stand zee strange men we are fighting next week and we must first und'air'stand zis strange game zat zee Americans mistakenly call football?
Jean Claude: Precisely.
Pierre smiles the smile of somebody who rarely gets anything right, but has finally managed figure something out.
Pierre: Zat makes it so much easy'air to watch this strange football game even though zare is no Zidane.