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Faye Walker vs. Hornswagglin' Huck

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Foxx

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Fade in to Kaira standing in a weight room while Faye is in the background ...umm... hurling weights at the wall.

Kaira: "The woman who finished her first match with a win in under a minute is fighting a HICK?!"

*Thump, slap!* A weight hits the wall and flops to the ground. Kaira just sighs and doesn't bother looking back.

Kaira: "I don't know where you people dug up a backwoods retard with a pig as his sidekick, but this is just far too rediculous. A man so off kilter that even his hillbilly redneck kin won't let him come back."

"Well Huckleberry, you better practice them puppy eyes, cuz you're gonna have to go crawling back after Faye takes you out so hard that you have to quit the business. Then again, you don't need family; you got all the family you need in your piggy! It's a good thing animals aren't choosy and don't walk out on you when they realize how big a f**kup you are. The poor thing will just walk around as your companion out of loyalty and then take it in the butt like a good redneck's farm animal. ...What? We all know you guys are into that thing!"

She gets a good hard laugh from that one. ...*Thoom!* A 20 pounder hits the wall and goes right through, interrupting her. Kaira still doesn't bother turning around. It's fairly obvious what just happened and she doesn't look happy.

Kaira: "FAAAAAAAAAAAAYE!!!"

The girl cringes and slinks up behind her. Her speech is barely audible.

Faye: "Y-yes, Mistress Kaira...?"

Kaira finally turns around to whap Faye upside the head. Faye cringes and covers in vain, whimpering pitifully.

Kaira: "I have to go see what the hell you just did. I get the feeling i already know what I'm gonna see, so you get to finish this promo on your own."

Faye's eyes go wide in terror and she freezes as Kaira walks back to where Faye had been. She checks out the rather good sized hole, shaking her head in disgust.

Kaira: "You're getting a beating for this later, girl! Now TALK!!"

Faye cringes again, attempting to force out a few words from a voicebox frozen in terror. Her eyes wander about, but never fall entirely on the camera lens.

Faye: "Um... uh... ...I can't do this, Mistress Kaira!!!"

Faye quickly freaks out, cowering in terror and sobbing like a child.

Kaira: "You're a professional wrestler, Faye, not a baby! Now knock it off!"

Kaira had since walked back and she takes the opportunity to deliver a good hard kick to Faye's ass, causing her to jump and sob even harder. She addresses the camera again.

Kaira: "Long story short, Pigf**ker, is that Faye's going to eat a backhome country reject like you for breakfast. Do yourself a favor and just don't show up. ...Actually, you'd be doing us all a favor."

She glances down at Faye, still sobbing her head off. Kaira quickly walks out of the shot.

Kaira: "Come on, Faye! Discipline time!"

FTB
 

ShawnHartXXX

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FADE IN: Huckleberry and Hoss marvel over one'a them newfangled tee vee thingamajigs and, more specifically, the Faye Walker promo that its playing.

HUCK: "Ah don't git it, l'il buddy. Why's that-there lady howlin' like a coyote in heat?"

Hoss ponders the perplexity of this query, then responds.

HOSS: "Snnnoooooooortt-SNOOOORTTTT!!!!"

Huck is disheartened.

HUCK: "Nay-ow Hoss, y'knows well's I do that we ain't posta tawk 'bout no girlies like thayut. Ma dun told me a hundred times..."

HOSS: "Oiink..."

HUCK: "'Sides, I think this l'il lady's confubbled er sumthin'. I mean, I ain't never seen no lady 'cept Ma, but ahh reckon they ain't posta be 'rasslin on no tee vee..."

HOSS: "OINK-OINK-Snoooooooorrtt!!!"

Oh no he just di'int!

HUCK: "C'mon now, boy-ahhh!! Ol' Huck di'in't resc-ya yer l'il pig rump from Pa's hickory stick so ya could go tawkin' 'bout doin' that tah no ladies like that! Rules says ya cain't be hittin' no girls!"

HOSS: "..."

HUCK: "Ahh, sahh it's gon' be like dat now, iddit? C'mon now, Hoss... she's jussa purdy l'il thing dun got mixed up with the wrong crowd. Ain't no girl sposta be 'rasslin, and ain't ol' Huck gon' be 'rasslin no girl..."

HOSS: "Oink, oink."

Ol' Huck lets out an earth-shattering guffaw.

HUCK: "Uhh-heheheheheh!! Thass'a a good ol' boy nay-ow! I knews ya wasn't really thinkin' 'bout puttin' yer hands on no lady, unlessen's ya gon' use 'em tah pinch those boobies!"

HOSS: "SNORT!!!!!"

HUCK: "The Bible?! Hell naw, son... does it say thay-ut?!"

HOSS: "Snaaaaaaaaarrll.."

HUCK: "Well hot DAYUM, boy-uhh!! I guess we's jus' gonna hafta 'splain real nice like that we ain'tsta touch the boobies, but we ain't gon' be roughin' up no purdy l'il thing either! I'm sure a big city girl like her'll understand..."

HOSS: "Oink-oink-oink!"

HUCK: "Heh heh... That's whaa-y ahh like you, l'il buddy! Yer always thinkin' ahead like a smarty l'il piggy! Put 'er there!"

Huck extends his hand. After a vivacious snort, Hoss rubs his moist snout up against it. Ol' Huck can't help but smile.

HUCK: "Alright friend! How's abotu we goes up here n' see if this Tennessee has ona'dem ol' BROOOAD-Way shows, ya heard?"

HOSS: "SNORT!"

FADE OUT.
 
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