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FIRST ROUND: Minion vs. Kyan Trory Coffee


Discolored Alex

The phone rang and Kyan answered it. “Hello?” he greeted.

On the other end was a familiar voice, that of Kyan’s mentor, trainer, and for all intents and purposes, manager. “Courage” Ricky Victory owned and operated the wrestling school Courageous Wrestling Skills for more than ten years now. Kyan was his latest success story as the bright young Jamaican boy had gone up to Canada and showed great promise in the promotion Ring Revolution. Sadly, as is common in the wrestling industry, the promotion failed and Kyan was in search of other work. “Kyan,” Ricky spoke. “It’s Ricky. How’re you doing?”

The kind words were nice to hear and Kyan smiled. “I’m doing pretty good. Relaxing, working out. You know how it is. How about you? How are Charlie and Nicholas?”

“Nicholas and I are looking for solid work down here in the South, but it’s hard to find. There aren’t too many great Southern promotions now like tSC or hWo. He’s working the indy scene well though.”

“What about Charlie?”

Ricky sighed. “Charlie’s still working.”

Kyan nodded even though his mentor couldn’t see him.

“Kyan,” Ricky began, “I’m calling because I have good news. I’ve found you work. It’s not completely S-O-L-I-D, but it’s good. It’s in the CSWA. I’m sure you’ve heard of it before.”

“Of course,” Kyan screeched.

“Now, it’s in a tournament for the Presidential Title.”

“I could get a title?” Kyan was ecstatic. One minute he’s unemployed and the next he’s vying for a prestigious title. This was worlds about RR. “I’m so excited!” he screamed. “This is a huge break, isn’t it? Isn’t it?”

“Kyan, CSWA isn’t quite what it used to be. It still has name value, surely, but it’s not the B-I-G gun of the wrestling world anymore. Don’t let any of this go to your head. I wouldn’t say you’ve ‘made it.’ You’re just on your way.” Ricky smiled.

“Thank you!” Kyan shouted. “Thank you, thank you. I’m going to go tell Chris!” Chris was Kyan’s roommate in Canada. “I may have to move, won’t I?”


Kyan Trory Coffee… Yellow-Striped Tiger… on his way to the top!


League Member
Jan 1, 2000
Los Angeles, CA
(Screen fades in as we see a dingy barren apartment. The walls are molded over; a card table sits in the corner with rusted pots and pans filled with murky black and brown water that has leaked from the apartment above. The stove has pots filled with crud from the previous night’s dinner. In another corner sits a 50’s style television that flickers with the eerie snow and emits the hypnotic buzzing sound. The camera slow moves towards a room that has one light bulb hanging down from the ceiling. Slightly out of focus is the back of a man with a dingy white shirt, ripped muscles, and long black hair. The camera slowly inches forwards and as it does so the man comes into focus.)

Man: They all forgot about me…but that was the way I wanted it…so why I am upset over it…all I wanted was to be forgotten to move on with my life…to get out of this cancer of a business…to get rid of the STD that is wrestling….but deep inside I knew I was just running from the problem…that I had to come back…

(The man moves out of camera view but quickly comes back with a duffle bag and some clothes and a pair of tights with the letter “M” imprinted on them. He stuffs them into the duffle then quickly goes back out of view but continues to talk)

I had to….there was no choice…the desire…the thirst is back…it boils underneath my skin…in my veins…in my heart…the thirst to feel pain…the thirst to feel another mans pain…the thirst to cause that pain…the thirst to spill blood whether it is mine or not…how could I run from myself…how could I run from my desires…my ego…my quest for the gold…my quest to always be better than that miserable excuse of a person Tom Parker…this whole life…this whole career has become my obsession….a very unhealthy obsession…but everyone needs a hobby right?

(The Ma comes back into view and packs a few more things and throws in a tooth brush. He turns but before we can see who he is the camera goes out of focus. He brushes by the camera and goes over to the sink and slumps down.)

Not many people are given a second chance in this profession…as soon as people forget you…the federations forget about you…as soon as you are out of the limelight your stock falls…my stock fell but it is coming back…as I have been given my opportunity…my redemption…to come out of my downward spiral from grace.

(The Man, still slumped, slowly reaches into his back pocket…removes a nicely folded sheet of paper…bring it around to reading begins to speak slowly and methodically)

My redemption…my salvation came in the form of a single envelope…folded neatly with the symbol of “CSWA”…I thought it was them asking for money to put on a show…but I opened the letter…my fingers shook with anticipation and confusion…a weird feeling at first but something that became highly desirable…I read the letter…it was very simple...”we want you in the presidential tourny”….okay that’s nice I thought what the bloody hell is it I continued to read on….”if you were to win the tourny you will receive a huge pay check and an automatic shot into the CSWA”…the trembling returned…but not as desirable at first…I wanted it to be and the euphoria set in…see the trembling was the thirst coming back…all it needed was one little hint that it could be used and it feed off of it…it sped through my veins…through my body…to my brain…and the rage hit…I signed my name…sent the contract back and now I am on my way…the CSWA will never bee the same once I am done there.

(The Man neatly folds the letter up and puts it back into his back pocket….splashes some water on his face and then turns and in perfect focus we see the Minion. All smiles like the Cheshire cat. It is the Minion we remember. It’s the same sadistic loony with not a care in the world but to get some sick sadistic pleasures. Minion motions for the camera to follow him, which it blindly does. Minion gets his bag, grabs a coat, and heads out of his apartment. The camera follows and as it does he speaks.)

Minion: it is going to be a mixture of the old times with the new times and a good healthy dose of the good times. See I am in this for the fame, the glory, and of course to break a few spirits and bones. I tried to escape this world but it always drives me back into it…and when I get there I always shake it from the foundation upwards. Nothing will ever be the same, but ya know I think it is good for the CSWA. I think it is nice for them to get a change. To offer some counter programming for the kiddies at home…to piss of standards and practice as I spill the blood of all my victims on the nice clean canvass of the pristine CSWA. There will be no more of this living in a den of thieves rummaging for answers. From now on the only answers I will be looking for are the questions I will be asking to Kyan…”do you give up?”…”are you scared?”. It’s a new beginning for a lot of people….for the CSWA it will mark the age and the era of the Minion…for Kyan…it will mark the first time ever in his career…I am sure of…that he will be truly frightened when he learns the gimmick is the man…and for me it marks a whole new host of people to hurt and ruin careers…win/win situation for all I guess. As I said the downward spiral has ended for me…I have served my time in this purgatory known as New York…it is time to make others feel my suffering and Kyan it all begins with you.

(Minion exits his apartment complex and singles for a cab. One quickly comes into sight and stops. Minion throws his bags into the trunk. Smiles at the driver…who quickly slumps into his seat...and gets in the cab…the camera fades to black as the cab drives off into the setting sun.)



League Member
Jan 1, 2000
Los Angeles, CA
(Screen fades in as a Taxi is zooming up in the distance the bright head lights look like looming eyes. Every second it grows closer and closer and before we realize it the taxi has pulled up to the arena front steps. The door slowly opens up and a tall figure, Minion, steps out of the cab…into the pale white light that is given off by the arena’s night time security lighting.. Wearing dark sunglasses, his dark blackish hair combed back into a semi pony tail, wearing a Minion Lives classic T-shirt, and blue jeans. He takes one look at the arena then whips out some money.)

Minion: see I told you that way was quicker…they love me in Portland

Taxi Driver: yeah yeah whatever that will be 65 even, um…what did you say your name was again.

Minion: Minion….I am a legend…a professional wrestler…the one and only the true bearer of the name….

(cuts Minion off mid sentence)

Taxi Driver: Never heard of you…that will be 65 even sir...you do know the event isn’t until the 12th right….

(Ignoring the fact that the guy has never heard of him)

Minion: .Yeah but I like to get familiar with the settings…to investigate the property…

Taxi Driver: For what…bombs…terrorist activity…crazed fans…fly monkeys

(Minion glares)

Minion: No...for all the possible spots in which I can inflict the most harm…to set up my plans…to make sure the worthless cows in Portland remember me…to make sure they never forget this presidential tourny match…to make sure that Kyan never forgets the day in which he learned he should have picked a new career….

(The taxi driver rolls his eyes)

Taxi Driver: Look just give me the money ill give you your change and we can move on…I got things to do…

(Minion lets out a deep sigh peels back some cash and throws into the Taxi window…as soon as the driver has his money he zooms off into the distance. We are now left with just Minion looking at the arena. He throws his bag over his shoulder and begins to walk to a couple of benches.)

Minion: Ah Portland how I have not missed thee…(lets out a deep sigh)…this god for saken **** hole of a town. I can’t wait till Kyan gets his head out of his own ass and shows up so I can get the quick three count and move on with this tourny…so I can claim my spot in the CSWA…so I can pull in the big bucks…so I can show the world that I am a champion…so I can sit up in first class instead of back of the bus with the black box and next to a screaming baby who wouldn’t shut up the entire flight all the way from freakin New York City…and next to the overweight guy who if this had been Southwest they would have made the fat slob buy two tickets but nooooooooooooo he had one seat and there I sat…and sat….and sat…in the middle seat…all the way from New York City…I am slightly angry.

(Minion reaches a bench and throws down his stuff and makes himself at home. All stretched out he reaches into his pants pocket and pulls out a cigarette and lights up. After a couple of deep drags he begins to speak again.)

Minion: I had a dream…it was a quick dream in between the fat guys realization that I was pissed…and the slight 5 minutes between the fact the baby was breast feeding...but it was such a glorious dream…I dreamed that I was in the middle of that glorious squared circle…and I was facing off against Kyan…I stood confident on my side…and there he stood on the other side perplexed at what he saw…perplexed that now he realized what everyone has said since I entered into this sport…that I am the gimmick…that this whole persona that I put forth is the real me…that I do want all that pain and suffering that I so deeply talk about...I woke up before I could do anything to poor Kyan…but I took some visual notes for later.

(Minion takes another couple of drags off his cig…as he does a security officer rounds the corner on his normal route and notices Minion and comes over to check it out.)

Security: Um sir can I help ya?

Minion: Um…no

Security: Mind telling me what your doing here?

Minion: Oh…well my name is Minion I am here for the wrestling gig that is going down May 12th…just decided to get here so I would be on time…

(with a very perplexed look)

Security: Well…um…I guess that’s all right just don’t mess anything up…we have an ice skating show tomorrow…I think Disney on Ice Simba meets his Half Brother…who happens to be his cousin who is supposed to be some sick created image of Walt Disney before he was put on ice himself…supposed to be a hum dinger.

Minion: Well that sounds super…I will be sure to be nice and polite to all the kiddies tomorrow sir.

Security: well have a nice night

(Minion takes another drag and flicks the cig on the ground as the cop turns his back. Minion takes another cig out of his pocket and lights up again…then speaks while taking a couple of drags.)

Minion: The truth of the matter Kyan is that I am going to burn you like teenage love…I am going to enter into that ring and I am going to have only one thing on my mind…pinning as quick as possible while making you hurt as much as possible. Sure I might have to take a few extra minutes to put in some of the ideas I am thinking of…but in the end…it will hurt…you will bleed…and I will laugh…and the lawyers for the CSWA the next morning will earn their paycheck by defending their new boy….ME! People lie and say they aren’t in this for the fame…glory…or money…well I am…I am in this to win this damn tourny…I am in this to win my spot in the history books…I am in this so I can move out of my crap hole living conditions…to put my name back on the top…to put my name where it belongs…with the legends…when I am done with this tourny the CSWA brass are going to be begging me to sign the contract…I will give them ratings…they will give me money…I will give them more merchandise opportunities…they will give me more money and better fights than this round 1 cake walk we are calling a match…then I will become their champion...ahh happy days are upon us…my fall from grace had finally ended…things are looking good…my redemption is at hand…and to bad for you Kyan it marks the beginning of your fall…you know this will be fun I think…ah happy days are upon us…the era of the Minion is beginning.

(Fade to black as Minion stretches out on his park bench smoking and smiling)


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