Fun in the Sun

[Packschmid]

[updated:LAST EDITED ON Aug-24-02 AT 11:25 AM (EDT)](FADEIN: The locker room of ON TIME at Gainesville, as GUNS stands smirking.)

GUNS: Well, I'll be the first to admit it - you GXW boys showed me something tonight. You didn't tuck tail and run like you did at Fish Fund. You put your rock heads together and came up with a little plan, and hey, I can't lie - it worked. You guys got Eddie and Craig from behind. Fine. You guys roughed up a 190 pound man in Pi. Good. (Grins.) And then it took all four of you and every piece of hardware you could muster to knock me down to the ground, but yeah, you finally did it. (GUNS golf claps.)

So what did you boys show me? (Chuckles.) You showed me that you take us FAR more seriously than we take you. You showed me that you KNOW we're stronger than you. You showed me that you KNOW we're better than you. You showed me that you KNOW your little "invasion" angle got TRUMPED at Fish Fund, and it's only gonna get worse for you from here. So, congratulations, boys - Danny, Kenny, Mikey, and, well, damn kid, I still can't be bothered to remember who you are, Captain No-Name - you can go home and tell your friends and family that one night in Gainesville, you got one over on the Travelling All-Star Team known as the Intruders. But in the grand scheme of things, boys, it's like the Washington Generals making a basket against the Harlem Globetrotters - it may happen every now and again, but we all know who's gonna win the game when it's over. You guys got a shot in, but you didn't make it count, because I'm still gonna be in Orlando, and when I get there, I'm gonna make your fearless leader squeal like a schoolgirl.

Danny, you say I can stop giving you history lessons - then you do me a favor and stop begging me to come to your third-rate promotion and wrestle you on "your terms." Think of it in terms of college basketball, Danny - the big schools don't go play road games at rinky dink college campuses. The rinky-dink teams accept a fat paycheck to come play the big dogs and get devoured in front of the big dog's fans. I don't cater to you, Danny. It's that simple. You're not big enough. You're not good enough. You haven't done enough in this sport and you probably never will. You're not turning heads, Dan - you and your gang of merry men are nothing but a locker room joke. Everybody knows this little GXW invasion is the equivalent of the "guarantee game" in college basketball. You and your GXW boys come into the CSWA, get a little free press, get a little of the CSWA's money into the cash register so your federation can actually afford to make payroll, and you get your asses kicked for the amusement of the CSWA fans. Everybody wins. The GXW gets exposure, the CSWA gets to show off its "superiority" and feel all charitable in the process.

But, Eddie, Craig, and I - we threw a monkey wrench into those plans because we don't want to see ANYBODY win. I don't give a rat's ass about your glorified backyard wrestling promotion, Dan - I just don't like having my intelligence insulted. Merritt was hoping to count the money that a little trumped-up inter-promotional rivalry was going to bring in, but we're blowing it up before it gets off the ground. It doesn't matter to me what T-shirt you're wearing, Dan, because either way - you're in a CSWA ring, you're wrestling in front of CSWA fans, you're cashing CSWA paychecks, and most of all, you're helping line the CSWA owner's pockets. That makes you the enemy, Dan. You call us a Merritt-created faction? (Laughs.) Merritt didn't have a damn thing to do with the creation of the Intruders, but he damn sure opened the door for you circus clowns to come in here. (Smiles.) Merritt may have invited you boys in the door, but the Intruders are gonna be the ones to toss your asses back out into the street begging for loose change and scavening for cigarette butts on the side of the off-ramp.

Dan, you continue to amaze me with your lack of intelligence. First, you come out here and tell me step by step how you plan to attack me. We won't even get into the fact that your plan of attack is apparently to focus on the one part of my whole body that is essentially made of steel. But, now, instead of waiting until Primetime to take advantage of a situation where the Intruders are taking you and your little GXW crew just a little too lightly, you decide to shoot your wad in a locker room on the CSWA's C-show. (Laughs.) Before, I was just gonna kick your ass for the fun of it. Now, I actually have a reason. Good plan, Einstein.

Here's the thing, Dan, and there's really no getting around this. Tonight in Gainesville, it took all four of you boys and a barrage of steel chair shots to get me down. In Orlando, son, you're all by yourself. You've called down the thunder, Dan, and now you've got it.

In Orlando, you're stepping up to Third Row, Inc. and testing your mettle. You say Fish Fund was just the beginning, and you're right. (Smiles.) It's just the beginning of the Intruders embarrassing you and your lackeys and sending you back where you belong.

You got your one basket tonight in Gainesville. But, bottom line - you're the Washington Generals, we're the Globetrotters. You're junior varsity, we're a Travelling All-Star Team. You're Little School A&M Tech, we're Duke. You're losers, and we're proven winners. And it's that simple. You got a problem with it, prove me wrong, but you and your boys know that you CAN'T. Because the truth is, Dan, whether you want to admit it or not - I've taken on many men bigger, stronger, faster, and flat out better than you, and taking you on is no big deal for me. (Smirks.) But, Danny Boy, whether you want to admit it or not - when you step into the ring in Orlando, you're stepping in the ring with a bona fide legend, and it's your chance to see just how you measure up one-on-one. You've got eight inches on me, Danny - but that's all you've got going for you.

Disney World may be the happiest place on Earth, Danny. It may be the place where dreams come true.

But at PrimeTime, son - you're stepping into the ring with your worst nightmare.

Someone who can talk just as much trash as you and piss off an entire promotion just by opening his mouth -

but the difference is, Dan...

EYE can back it up.

See you in the ring, sport.

 

[DBrunkGXW]

Fade in to Dan Ryan sitting on a stool in a smoky bar, watching the local sports team on the sattelite. As the shot opens, he tosses a peanut into his mouth and then begins to address the camera.

Ryan: "Damn, GUNS. Why so angry? I mean really, you don't have to get your underoos all in a bunch there. You know, for someone who likes to throw around accusations of other people being unintelligent you guys were kinda caught unaware in Gainesville. And honestly, a man like you should know it really doesn't matter what it takes to get a man to his knees. It's the fact that he's down. And in this case, you all went down like a ton of bricks. Whether it was a with a chair or a stack of two by fours or a Mack truck, it matters very little. But if you find moral victory in that, go right ahead my friend. Unfortunately for you, an ass-kicking is an ass-kicking."

"Here's another nugget for ya to digest. We weren't really trying to show you anything. It's all a simple matter of payback. You see, we're even now. And after Orlando, you will be but a distant albeit amusing memory. Like when you think back to that time when you were younger and used to get away with murder, and everyone else got caught. Or in your case, like when you think back to when you were over. You see GUNS, your overinflated opinion of yourself continues to grow and grow at an exponential rate. The more you say things like "TRUMPED" or "THIRD-RATE PROMOTION" or "TRAVELLING ALL-STAR TEAM", the more you put yourself out there as exactly what you really are. A mark...That's right, all GUNS is....is a mark for himself. So please spare us with the weak catchphrases...the Harlem Globetrotters analogies...and your little stories about how you ruined our plans. Let me tell you a little secret....." (Ryan leans in close then yells at the top of his voice) "WE ALREADY HEARD IT THE FIRST FIFTEEN THOUSAND TIMES YOU SAID IT!!!! Do me one little favor, would ya? Since just telling you straight out obviously isn't doing the trick, let me show you a little trick. Go cut and clip any one of your promos, save the parts where you say any of the above...ahem...'catchphrases' you're so proud of, and when you feel the need to repeat yourself, simply press play and it will save you loads of time."

"I also like the way you like to recycle old insults. See, calling me a locker room joke...right AFTER I just called you one...really it doesn't have the impact you're going for. It just looks played out, used up, overdone and sad...just like the entire angle you're going for here. And it really doesn't behoove you at all to try and guess about backstage politics. Trust me, my friend...Chad Merrit had NOTHING to do with our arrival here. Oh yes...someone did. But then, I don't really feel the need to reveal that name to you just yet, my boy. But it's amusing me to hear you keep talking about how you screwed us up, as though Fish Fund were the coup' de gras of our little operation. Considering your assertion that we blew our wad at Fish Fund, I'd say that those in soiled boxers shouldn't throw stones. You came in on the front end of things, jackass...not the end. And believe me, they take us a hell of a lot more serious than they take a couple of tag team wrestlers and a bionic jackass like you."

"Trust me, in Orlando we're gonna have lots of fun. We're gonna do our thing, I'm gonna break your knee...which by the way...you DO have two of them right? Just checking.....and then we're gonna go our separate ways. Me, onto bigger and better things...and you...back to the scrap pile you were in for five years after the last time you tried to take this company down."

"You made your run, you entertained all of your little ringrats in the third row...you threw your monkey wrenches..and now, I'm gonna have to beat you over the head with it. So why don't you gather Eddie, Craig, Pi, Dopey, Sneezy, Bashful, Happy, Grumpy, Sleepy, Doc and hell might as well round up ol' Snow White herself for one last quickie before the band goes bankrupt for good. And while you keep pissing off the world, I'm gonna put you to sleep..permanently..."

"See YOU in the ring...little man..."

(F2B)

 

[KRobinson]

Fade In....

(scene: a recap of CSWA ON TIME in Gainesville flashes across the screen)

(Plett and Ryan hold their chairs back, ready to fire at GUNS, and GUNS does enter the room, plowing right into Mike Plett, and not giving either man a chance to strike. GUNS slams an elbow into the gut of Dan Ryan, sending him backward… and then BAM!)

RS: This is crazy!

ByB: Faction warfare, Rudy, we’d better get used to it…

(Kendall Codine and “The Career Ender” Chris Lehew reveal themselves as having been hidden behind the door, and Lehew rapped a chair across GUNS’ back… GUNS staggers forward, and into a well place Plett chair shot. GUNS spins around, still on his feet, and takes a third shot, again from Lehew. GUNS finally goes down, as the four-on-one attack was too much even for a man of GUNS’ size and will.)

Lehew: CAPTAIN NO-NAME? Captain No-Name just kicked your ASS, GUNS…

Plett: Where’s PI?

Lehew: We left him behind the door…

(Camera cuts to behind the door, where Lehew/Codine had been hidden… PI is wrapped in duct tape, kicking and trying to get free.)

(gradually, the footage gives way to none other than Kendall Codine who stands before a GXW backdrop....dressed in casual attire, Codine takes this opportunity to address GUNS for the first time upon his arrival in the CSWA)

GUNS....

Allow me to properly introduce myself. I am Kendall Codine, the very man who you placed blame upon for your recent shortcomings in Gainesville. However, as the previous footage shows, I did not lay a hand on you....

Quite frankly, I could care less if you bring this company down to ruins or fall off the face of the Earth. I entered the CSWA for my own personal intentions, none of which included you. What Dan Ryan, Chris Lehew, and Mike Plett choose to do in your favor is on them. The main reason that I was even present, was to watch my friends return the "favor" that you so graciously gave me at Fish Fund....

Overall, I know that it will take you some time to comprehend all of this information, but luckily for you, I have all of the time in the world. I simply would like you to know that when it comes to physical confrontation, I make sure that my advesaries are well aware of the pain that is about to hit them....

Therefore, in the future, before attempting to use me as a scapegoat, be sure to be well aware of that which you speak, rather than venting in frustration....

(fade to black)

 

[Packschmid]

When You Wish Upon a Star

[updated:LAST EDITED ON Aug-24-02 AT 04:18 PM (EDT)](FADEIN: GUNS, back in Orlando, smiling.)

GUNS: Angry, Dan? I'm not angry, far from it. You guys backjumped us in a locker room. It happens to the best of us. Was it the way we intended to spend our night in Gainesville? (Shrugs.) No, I guess not, but we're big boys, Dan, we'll get over it. You're right when you say you caught us by surprise. You see, when you guys scampered away from the ring at Fish Fund like a tourist in Mexico sprinting for a bathroom, we assumed you guys packed up and went home. Sure, Dan, you were still talking a good game, and Mikey Plett was babbling some nonsense about taking a piss on the CSWA, but your other two buddies had kept pretty quiet, and it's not like the CSWA is immune to guys who love to churn out the idle chatter but don't do anything to back it up. (Coughs.) Kevin Powers. (Coughs.) Sorry, had to clear my throat.

So, yeah, Dan - you and your crew reminded me you're still here. I guess you felt neglected since the I's have been throwing a few words in Troy Windham's direction lately, and you wanted a little attention. Congratulations, Dan. You've got my undivided attention in Orlando, but you know the old saying - be careful what you wish for.

"GUNS is a mark for himself." (Chuckles.) Well, Dan, I hate to break it to you, but in this business - if you're not a mark for yourself, then you better pack up the tights and go cut grass for a living. You're certainly not the first to accuse me of having a huge ego. You're no slouch in that department yourself, by the way. Near as I can tell, you're about six feet and seven inches of ego. But the difference is - I earned my ego, son. But now, they call you the "Ego Buster", don't they? (Smirks.) You wanna teach me a little humility, boy? Give it your best shot. Nobody else has had much luck at it, but after all - you are the GXW World Heavyweight champion. Now, while that and $1.50 will get you on the subway, maybe it'll be enough to help you shut me up. But, I doubt it.

You see, Dan, what you fail to realize is that whatever plans you had before Fish Fund don't matter anymore. Your primary target, Evan Aho, has gone from World Heavyweight champion to lower mid-card in the span of about a week and a half. Now, granted, that's where your sights should be aiming, but still. I certainly hope Fish Fund wasn't the grand finale you scripted, because let's run it down, shall we? Wicked Sight, your big free agent acquisition, hit me with everything but the kitchen sink. He hit me with his finisher in the first minute of the match, and I got up and smiled at him. He hit me with my "prestigious" championship belt, and I got up and smiled at him. He hit me with a pair of brass knuckles, and - well - I won't repeat myself, Dan, since I know how that annoys you. We'll fast forward right to the end, where I put him in the sharpshooter and he screamed for his mommy until he finally passed out. But then, you boys made your first appearance of the night, turning off the lights and hitting me with a chair. You seem to neglect to mention that part of the evening, don't you, Dan? You ever once stop and think that maybe, just maybe we would have let you and your boys have your little moment in the sun if you hadn't tried to tug on Superman's cape? (Pauses.) Well, okay, probably not, but it sure made it more fun for us to show you up later on, after you went out and got a taste of Shane Southern's right foot and got pinned in the middle of the ring. (Jerks backward.) Pinned in the middle of the ring. (Jerks backward.) Pinned in the middle of the ring. (Slaps himself in the head and laughs.) Sorry, Dan - guess the record got stuck.

Long story short - let's look at the Fish Fund toteboard. INTRUDERS - GUNS wins, Eddie & Craig take home the tag titles, and for a nice bonus, we rain on your little parade and clear all you boys out. GXW - Wicked Sight loses, Danny Ryan loses, and you and your little JV crew get one-upped by the big boys. Like I said, Dan, I sure hope that wasn't the grand finale you drew up in your playbook.

In Gainesville, Dan, you re-ran the one play that worked for you at Fish Fund - the hit GUNS with a chair from behind play. But, not to burden you with another sports analogy, but that's about the equivalent of a 2-yard run on 3rd and 15. You did what you were trying to do - but you didn't accomplish a DAMN thing. Now, in Orlando, we're gonna re-run one of the plays that worked for us at Fish Fund - the beat the snot out of Danny Ryan and send him running back to the nearest VFW Hall play.

You see, Dan, you are right about a few things. In Orlando, we are gonna have a lot of fun. And yeah, I do have two knees - I won't bother dusting off the tape of you telling the world you were gunning for the bionic one. Maybe you and your goof troop have gotten together and revised the strategy a little bit to go after the one that isn't made of steel. Good call. Still not gonna matter. And when it's over, you're right - we are going our separate ways. You and your boys may decide to hang around a little more to bleed some publicity for the GXW, or maybe you'll wise up and realize you're beaten. Either way, it doesn't matter - because the goal here is shockingly enough not to embarrass a third-rate promotion. The goal remains the destruction of the CSWA. And, I hate to break it to you, buddy, but I didn't come back into this hellhole to have my run spoiled by an obnoxious punk from another rinky-dink federation who got all pissy because three men who are bigger stars than he could ever dream of being decided to take the spotlight away from him just because they could.

Dan, I'm sure you've accomplished a lot of things in your career here in the CSWA. You've gone winless in a round-robin tournament for the Greensboro Heavyweight title. You've beaten the legendary Carl Brigsby, who does hold a hard-fought victory over Wildstar. You've demonstrated your athletic ability by running away from Triple X, and running away even faster from me, Eddie, Craig, and Pi at Fish Fund. Speaking of Fish Fund, you've had the opportunity to count all of the stars in the Sweetwater sky, plus probably a few that were just in your own head, courtesy of Shane Southern's superkick. You've experienced a lot here, Dan. And when you get to Orlando, I'm sure you'll stop by Disney World and take a ride on Space Mountain and all the new and classic rides alike.

But there's one thing you haven't experienced yet in the CSWA, and there's one ride in Orlando that you can't get at Disney World. But, don't worry, Dan. Like I've said before, Disney is the place where dreams come true - and I'm going to make it happen for you.

Dan Ryan - come Primetime - I'm going to give you what the little boy inside of you has always wanted. No, Dan, I'm not gonna dress up like a priest and fondle your private parts, but I will give you an all-expenses paid trip to the third row, courtesy of the Strongest Arms in the World.

(FADEOUT, as GUNS laughs and hums "When You Wish Upon a Star"...)

 

[Packschmid]

Well, Kenny, if we're going to go for complete accuracy here, none of your GXW boys laid a hand on me.

Maybe a steel chair or two, but not a hand.

It's duly noted for the record, Kenny, that you did not lend a hand or a chair on me in Gainesville.

Now also duly note that I couldn't pick any of you GXW guys out of a police lineup, well, except for Mikey Plett - because when you beat a man into unconsciousness with your bare hands, their face tends to get etched into your memory.

The bottom line is - I don't care what you did or didn't do in Gainesville. I don't care why you came to the CSWA. I don't care what company's T-shirt you wear. If you stick around long enough, you're going to have to deal with me and get bitchslapped just like the rest.


-- GUNS

 

[KRobinson]

Fade In....

(scene: once again, we find ourselves looking upon Kendall Codine who stands before the same GXW backdrop....upon hearing the latest words of GUNS', Codine promptly responds)

I realize that you had quite a bit of information to process in such a short amount of time GUNS, therefore, I will allow you enough time to recooperate from actually having to think for once in your life....

As I said before, I am not one to offer a sneak attack here and there. I feel that if I have a problem with you or any other man in this organization, then I will come to the forefront and let you know....

So, with that said....

(Codine gradually pulls a $10.00 bill from his pocket and displays it before the camera)

Since you're a man of novelty, I'll appease you. In fact, I'll even allow you to keep the change. Because when all is said and done my foolish friend, it is you that will have to deal with me....

The money is on the table, just as you requested. Now its your turn to "call my bluff"....

(fade to black)

 

[MPettingill]

You Got Trumped

[updated:LAST EDITED ON Aug-24-02 AT 08:33 PM (EDT)]CUT [font color= black]T[/font]O: A similar backd[font color= black]r[/font]op to Kendall Codine's, but this time his former protege, his on-again-off-again partner Mike Plett stands before it with his hair thrown back.)

MP: Let's see, GUNS... you wait until we've taken care of the CSWA's best in the ring at Fish Fund, jump us fr[font color= black]o[/font]m behind with the most horribly-overbooked, riding people's coattails at the last minute, Merritt-planned distraction... and it's "must see TV". We come in a locker room, beat the Hell out of The Don't Knows - who couldn't beat Simply Stunning for a year before finally getting lucky... we bound and gag that POS or whatever his name of us, then wait on you and beat your face in with steel just as [font color= black]y[/font]ou did me...

And it'[font color= black]s[/font] a sign [font color= black]o[/font]f weakness?

Y[font color= black]o[/font]u homosexual prehistoric hypocrite.

If we truly were trumped by your cluster****** TV time at Fish Fu[font color= black]n[/font]d... th[font color= black]en[/font] what are y[font color= black]ou g[/font]oing to call what [font color= black]h[/font]appened to you at ON TIME?

Yeah, Ryan and Lehew got in the door at the CSWA. So did every member of the Pros, so your "Merritt is helping the GXW" **** is bogus. They all got in, and they made the pieces fit, and the CSWA lost it's greatest asset when it turned its backs on me. The thing is, the biggest trump of all, GUNS... the biggest trump of GXW versus Intrusion is going to be this...

When we get tired of you, we're going to completely ignore you and finish our individual missions, as a UNIT... not as the biggest historic egos in the game that got paid a big bonus to distract the greatest athletes here, the GXW.

And my mission, is still to piss all over this place. And everyone that stands for it. Especially when they call me out...

Mr. CSWA...

Read between the lines, my new found partner Dan Ryan taught me a little trick.

FADEOUT

 

[DBrunkGXW]

RE: You Got Trumped

[updated:LAST EDITED ON Aug-25-02 AT 11:16 AM (EDT)]GODDA***T PLETT!! I TOLD YOU ABOUT THAT S**T!! CAN'T YOU EVEN LISTEN TO THE MAN?? HE DOESN'T CARE!!!!

WE TRUMPED YOU!!!

THIRD RATE PROMOTION!!!

WE ARE IN THE LAND OF DISNEY MAGIC!!!

I AM A TOOL!!!!


Right, GUNS?

There, I did your entire next promo for ya.

- Ryan