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ICE TRE - That Guy

blackshire

Moderator
Joined
Jan 1, 2000
Messages
182
Points
16
Age
43
Location
upstate NY
(FADEIN: Dressed in an oversized Manchester United jersey, a matching off-center-cocked baseball cap and wearing an obnoxiously large imitation platinum and circonium pendant ... it's the Mack Who Ain't Black, the Most Prolific Superstar To Ever Wear a Clock Around His Neck ... it's Ice Tre. Standing on a busy corner somewhere in the heart of Ye Olde London, arms crossed across his chest with unintentionally-mock menace, the camera is rolling and he's ready to display why he's known as one of the best new "talkers" in the game.)

ICE TRE: ...sh_t, I forgot what I was supposed to say...

(Tre lowers his head for a moment, his hand absently toying with his "tre" pendant. Suddenly, it hits him.)

ICE TRE: ...oh yeah... Let me make this clear. When I signed with GXW, I signed knowing that I'd be leaving immediately to tour in the country of Europe. I knew that I'd be encountering different cultures and seeing new and different places, but...

(Tre pauses as a pair of locals pass by the camera, talking amongst themselves.)

LOCAL #1: I say, my good man! Can you spare a pound for--

ICE TRE: I just wish these people spoke ENGLISH!

(Ice tre watches a few more pedestrians pass with reserved and ultimately illogical disdain before continuing.)

ICE TRE: I signed on knowing I'd be faced with challenges I'd never encountered before. But I never thought I'd let my hero down on national television.

(Ice Tre looks away, possibly getting teary before throwing on a pair of bulky shades. He clears his throat.)

ICE TRE: At Revolution, I let Boogie Smallz down. I let the HOOD down! I let the STREETS down! ... I let MYSELF down. I've been doin' a lot of soul searchin'. And I want to make a promise, to my homies - holdin' it down, keepin' it real, in the struggle, makin' it happen on the block, keepin' it hot, slangin' that rock - a promise to my idol, my hero, my everyday inspiration - Boogie Smallz. A promise to MYSELF that I will NEVER ... not EVER ... make a fool of myself on National Television EVER again! I will NEVER AGAIN disgrace my roots!

I have come to GXW on a mission to be "That Guy". You know the one. That Guy that EVERYONE hates because - dammit - that cat is just THAT good at what he does. That Guy that runs in and screws up your plans EVERY ... TIME. Because he can. Because he's GOOD at it! because messing things up is in his NATURE! I'm That Guy! That Guy that cuts the promos that everyone's talking about. That Guy that the girls love, and the boys hate - but SECRETLY love, only in a completely NON homo-erotic way. I'm That Guy! That Guy that rents a movie from the video store and DOESN'T rewind it and happily pays the fee - on PRINCIPAL! I'm That Guy! That Guy who beats poorly conceived gimmicks to death, who prattles on ... and ON about the same thing, just constantly repeating himself in an effort to fill up airtime and make his promos seem that much more important, though there isn't one person who doesn't see through it. That's ME! 'Cause I'm That Guy!

(Ice Tre smirks, adjusting his glasses - smoothing his brim.)

ICE TRE: Here we are, Global Xtreme Wrestling. About to enter the ICE AGE. A piece of advice?

(He tips the glasses down a tad, smiling.)

ICE TRE: Pack extra socks.

(He chuckles as he heads down the street, away from the stationary camera.)

ICE TRE: ....awwww, extra socks. ... that was good.

(FADEOUT.)
 

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