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ICE TRE - the art of a bad promo

blackshire

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Joined
Jan 1, 2000
Messages
182
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Age
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Location
upstate NY
(FADE IN: He stands in front of a simple GXW logo on a plain, bland soundstage. Who, you ask? It's the man you've all heard about. The Indy Cult Hero Sensation known simply as Ice Tre. Throughout his two year career, when he was able to get a booking, Tre has competed in twelve official matches. It only took a handful of appearances before word of his talents and abilities spread throughout the Northeast. It wasn't long before Ice Tre, an unlikely candidate for stardom of ANY kind, found himself with a growing cult following that was propogated mainly by internet fans who were mezmerized by his style and the way he approached the sport.)

ICE TRE: ...'sup?

(Always an artisan with his words, Ice Tre smirks, eyes giving nothing away behind the thick, bulky lenses of his sunglasses. He gestures with his hands as he speaks, his right-hand knuckles encrusted with a four-finger-ring, a thumb-attachment attached by a small immitation-platinum chain. Across it, 'diamonds' spell out the word: "BANK".)

ICE TRE: I know what y'all are thinkin'.

(No, he doesn't. Chances are, he's not even sure what HE is thinking. See, Tre isn't the smartest wrestler on the roster. He's also not the fastest, or the strongest ... or the most flexible, or most entertaining. He's not a lover. Not much of a fighter. Can't hold his end of an arguement for sh_t, and some say he's Lactose Intolerant. But, he does have one thing going for him.)

ICE TRE: DAMN, that's one good looking superstar!!

(Ice Tre is ignorant to all of his faults, thus making him uniquely ... dangerous.)

ICE TRE: And you'd be right. But I'm not here to shame all of your sorry, ugly asses with my Ebony-like good looks. I am here to WHOOP all of your sorry, ugly asses with my superior wrestling skillz. With a Z, bee-itch.

(Signed by GXW at the last possible moment in order to fill a critical vacancy on their european tour roster, the brass simply had no idea just how terrible Ice Tre was when asked to deliver in the ring. They were about to find out how terrible he was when asked to deliver in front of a camera. He was a somewhat familiar name for the right price [next to nothing] at the right time.)

ICE TRE: The GXW suits BEGGED me to come to Europe. They BEGGED me to sign with them, to compete in the Cruiserweight Title tournament, to snag that gold, and bring it to some prominence!!!

(Actually ... his inclusion to the tournament was a clerical error that wasn't caught in time to be changed. But...)

ICE TRE: The office sees in me the potential that I've seen in me, my entire life! I have struggled! Clawed! Stolen! And ... fought ... my way to get here, and I will not stop until I get to the top!

(Or until he gets uncerimoniously released, which is much more likely. Ice Tre crosses his shockingly weak arms across his equally unimposing chest confidently.)

ICE TRE: GXW ... here I come.

(Prepare to be unimpressed.)
 

JABolich

League Member
Joined
Jan 1, 2000
Messages
790
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Location
Niagara, ON, Canada
OORP: I love you, man. I laughed. I cried. I laughed and cried at the same time. This was some of the funniest stuff I've seen in FW.

You rock.
 

blackshire

Moderator
Joined
Jan 1, 2000
Messages
182
Points
16
Age
43
Location
upstate NY
hehe.

thanks, man. the idea for the character sprang from that empty spot in the tourney ... and i've come up with some decent ideas for him so far. should be fun to play out. i just laugh at how this Joke Character's thread has 20-some views ... and my Serious Wrestlers Serious Post has ... 6 :)

i'm slowly learning the GXW demographics :)

later-
-paul
 

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