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It's Battlemania Brother!!!

Al Envy

League Member
Feb 1, 2015
Once in a lifetime a match of such epic proportions decides to hit the wrestling world right between the legs, nailing you directly in the nuts. Its kind of like when your best friend kicks you in the balls out of sheer fun, at first the initial impact pisses you off to no end but then you realize just how great the moment is and you smile. Battlemania is such a moment in time, well I really don’t understand how the match would piss you off at first but hey I wanted to make a cool comparison, so sue me.

This match is however on a whole new level. 30 of the absolute best are throwing their names into this match. Greats of the game like Mike Best have thrown their hats into it, Newbies like Blue Suede Bruce are testing the waters for the first time. Emevlas Stastias damn sure wins the how in the fuck do you pronounce your name award and has also thrown his or hers name into it. It was a collection of quality talent all vying for the ultimate honor, the first ever Battlemania champion. Oh and allow me to throw in two more names, hailing from New Edge Wrestling the names of Austen Impact and Al Envy.

And that is where we are at today. Al Envy, the show stealer of professional wrestling decided that it would be economical to share a ride and a hotel with a fellow New Edger and another participant in Battlemania is Austen Impact. The car ride from Chicago had been pleasant and Al even though up until the present time had never really spoke with Austen too much. Yet the few hours car ride had allowed Al and Austen to grow a little closer. Al actually started to really like his new found friend as they pulled up to the hotel, a 5 star establishment that would only cost each person around 250 a night, roughly 1500 a person all together. Something both men can afford

Austen Impact: Now this is what I am talking about. I am not used to living in luxury like this.

Al Envy: Well keep doing what you are doing bro and one day you will be able too. Usually I have to go all in on the bill at this place, but you are splitting the bill so it is cool with me.

Austen Impact: Well after I win Battlemania my name will become prominent enough to be able to stay in places like this for my own like you do Al. Yet if there was anyone I would want to share a hotel room with, its Al Envy. I mean seriously the women you get, the booze you know about? These next few days will be a fucking blast for me man!

Al was really starting to like this guy. You could tell why the ladies loved him so much. Well spoken cat and pretty handsome for a guy. Al was far from being gay but he thought well if I was I would want to see his wiener too. The two men settle down in the very nice room as Al reaches into his bag and pulls out his soma and norco pills he had been accustomed to take recently. He also took way too much of them, and right on cue after he takes twice than what's prescribed he falls asleep.

“Are you ready for your procedure Mr. Envy?”

Al Envy: I haven’t been so ready in my life Doctor. Please begin.

Prepped for surgery Al was excited. He was finally going to get what he had always wanted. Ever since Battlemania Al had fell in love with the man that he traveled with to the big show Battlemania months prior in Austen Impact. Austen had also developed feelings for Al as well but the issue that neither man was gay really hurt their pursuit into a relationship. They wanted to hold each other so bad, but the fact that they were dudes made it fucking weird you know? So it was Al that decided to take the drastic endeavor into ensuring that these two could be together forever and it wouldn't be awkward.

Al Envy had decided to get a sex change.

It was a great idea wasn't it? And quite honestly Al really didn't mind that he was replacing his incredibly impressive man junk for an equally impressive female void. He was willing to make the sacrifice to be with his soul mate Austen Impact

And besides Al there was only one other person as excited as he was.

Austen Impact: Oh my God sweetie I can’t believe you are making this sacrifice. You don’t know how much this is going to mean to me.

Al Envy: I would do anything for you Austen, even becoming a woman. Finally we can be together and make love like all the couples do that are madly in love with each other.

The Doctor decided to chime in.

Doctor: Well unfortunately its going to take about six months before you and Mr. Impact can fornicate because of the magnitude of this surgery. It takes a lot of time for a man to transform into a woman. Hormones needs to kick in, we need to make sure all of the changes we do physically will take.

Al didn't care. 6 months was well worth the wait and it was as well for Austen Impact. There were other things they could do until the time was right.

Al Envy: Wow I am so nervous. Did you make the arrangements for after the surgery?

Austen Impact: Of course my darling. The preacher is waiting for us.

Doctor: Its time Mr. Envy.

Austen grabs Al’s hand as for the final time Al Envy was going into something as a man. In about 10 hours Al Envy would no longer be Al Envy. After ten hours the surgery went well and was a success, and allow me to present to you….

Alice Envy.

Alice was sore as fuck. She wasn't really allowed to move as her entire lower waist was under a cast to promote the drastic changes to start healing And the worst part was that his new beautiful breasts he had been looking forward to squeezing were also not accessible to the former Mr. Envy.

Alice looked to her left and there sat the love of her life Austen Impact who was just staring at Alice.

Austen Impact: My God you look beautiful.

Alice tried reaching out to Austen but her body was aching so much. The Doctor finally came in.

Doctor: The surgery was a tremendous success. He had to do a lot of work, especially in the sexual organ area, to complete the transformation. Your first round of hormones have been administered and like I said no fornication for at least 6 months. The complete transformation will take about a year to complete fully, and might I add when it does Alice you could go directly into modeling because you will be absolutely beautiful. You could be my finest work ever. I had a great piece to work with no doubt about that.

Apparently the hormones given to Alice had finally kicked in because she started to cry out of happiness.She turns to her beau Austen.

Alice Envy: I am ready….get the preacher.

Austen smiles as he goes to the door and motions for the preacher to come into the room. In walked ex wrestler Reya Serra, another participant in Battlemania along with the artist formerly known as Al and Austen Impact. Her embarrassing performance where she was one of the first eliminated had caused her to go into her true calling. She was always a religious freak so she finally got into ministry.

Another female walked in behind her. She was apparently the witness to the union. She was just some plain Jane blonde named Vanessa. She was unimportant and was just pulled out of the hall at random. She stood in the corner of the room then finally decided to sit down after she realized she wasn't going to get any attention since she didn't fucking deserve any at this present time.

Reya walked up to Alice and Austen in a stoic fashion. She smiled and looked at the couple.

Reya Serra: Marriage is an important decision in life. You will forever be linked together in the eyes of our Lord. Before we get started are you both committed to being with each other forever till the end?

Alice and Austen looked at each other and smiled. Austen for the first time leaned in and kissed Alice on the forehead. It was cool now since she was a chick now right?

Austen Impact: Yes I am ready.

Alice coughed a little bit due to the emotion and the hormones fucking with her.

Alice Envy: I have never been more ready in my life Reverend…

Reya Serra began. After the 5 minute ritual of exchanging vows the moment had finally came.

Reya Serra: I now pronounce you Mr and Mrs Austen Impact. You may now kiss your bride.

The newlyweds kiss. It was the best kiss either one had ever made.

Austen Impact: I love you Alice……

Alice Envy: I love you Austen…

Austen stands over Al who is sleeping like a baby. The reason why he was is because he heard the words I love you Austen come from the sleeping Envy’s mouth. He slaps Al in the head to wake him up.

Al stirs away and starts looking around. He had just dreamed he had a fucking sex change and was married to Austen Impact now! He grabs his chest and is relieved to find it still flat and manly. He then immediately grabs for his infamous man meat and is relieved to find it still there hanging prominently between his legs

Al Envy: Oh thank God.

Al looks at Austen

Al Envy: Sorry man. I was just having this weird fucking dream. I really got to get off these fucking pills.

Austen backs away from Al still looking at him in a weird way. He goes back to one of the bedrooms and sits down and continues watching television. Thank God Austen didn't ask him what the damn dream was about. Eventually Al would tell him if he pressed enough. It was funny as fuck if you thought about it. Envy shook off the dream and got his ass focused again.

When it comes to Battlemania you had to be focused. Even though Al considered Austen a friend now when it came to one of the most hyped matches there ever was you can bet your ass that at a drop of a hat these two gladiators will rip each others eyes out of their heads to earn the honor of being the first ever Battlemania winner.

You win Battlemania and the world will look at you in a different perspective. Even competitors like Al Envy who are established in this game would benefit from being a Battlemania winner. It would add to his status and mystique of being one of the greats As for guys like Austen Impact a win will establish him as a household name.

Everyone has a stake in this match. Mike Best wants to establish he is the absolute best. Reya Serra wants to become relevant again and with a win in Battlemania she would do just that. Blue Suede Bruce wants to start out his legacy with a huge bang and Battlemania is the key to doing it.

Sadly though the only thing that will happen is afterwards all of those name, Mike Best, Austen Impact, Reya Serra, and Blue Suede Bruce. Hell even the persons who’s name I can’t even pronounce will all share the same fate. The collective will be walking back up the ramp staring into the ring as Al Envy, the Trendsetter, and Show Stealer celebrates his Battlemania victory. Al is going to prove to the world why he is the best there is at this game. No one is more physically gifted to endure or has the mental preparedness to out think his opponents, and just the simple fact that no one in this match is going to make a name for themselves off of Al Envy’s disappointment.

No one in this match wants this title more than Al does. This win will cement his legacy as one of the greats, and Al Envy’s legacy is all that he has left in his life. He has sacrificed everything to play this game, his body, mind, and his family to be the best. No distractions is his motto. The only thing in his life is achieving his goals. It was a very lonely existence but it is well worth it for the Show Stealer.

Very soon Battlemania, the biggest math ever in this game will begin, and in the end your winner will be the Show Stealer Al Envy!

Learn to Deal with it…

Its Battlemania Brother!!!

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