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[FADE-IN: The cameras pan around the Ocean City Convention Centre as pyros boom on stage. The fans are screaming. Lots of LEYENDA DE OCHO tri-force masks in the arena. Lots of fans with blue hair. A mob of fans dressed as aliens. Superfly Express t-shirts. Replica Intergalactic Championship belts. Signs are held all around the arena: “I WANNA TOUCH THE TRI-FORCE BELT!”; “SNOW FOR SALE!”; “PICK ME ARAN! I’M RELENTLESS, TOO!”; “MAGNUS DESTRUCTO IS MY STEP-FATHER!”.]
[As the cameras whirl around and the pyros make boom the camera settles on the announce table where MORTON MURPHY sits wearing an aqua suit that has a silver IGC logo emblazoned on the breast pocket. Sitting beside him is THE RAGING FEAR AUGUST MONDAY, grizzly beard almost tangled with the headset, wearing a black “www.fear.com” sleeveless t-shirt to show off the sleeves of tattoos. MONDAY sits emotionless. MURPHY grins like a Cheshire cat.]
MORTON MURPHY:
“Welcome one and all the Ocean City Convention Centre HERE in OCEAN CITAY, Maryland. We’re here tonight for SORRY YOU’RE NOT A WINNER the THIRD Intergalactic Championship event and we have got one HELL of a card for you that’s OUT. OF. THIS. WORLD!
“Joining me at the announce table today is veteran of GOD knows how many years, the Raaaaaaaaaging Fear.... Mr. August Monday.”
AUGUST MONDAY:
“Morty... this card tonight is back ta back epic and there’s gonna be some blood, sweat an’ tears spilt in that there ring tonight, son.”
MORTON MURPHY:
“You can say that again, Augie. Tonight’s card is jam-packed with Intergalactic qualifying matches but our MAIN EVENT sees Phil Atken...”
[SMASH –CUT: The screens fill with a SORRY YOU’RE NOT A WINNER logo smashing into the screen, the backdrop the crazy fans of Ocean City. The words “Intergalactic Championship Match” stamp down like they’re being pressed in a steel mill. PHIL ATKEN’s face fills the screen and the image shoots back to a pre-filmed spot of ATKEN patting the Intergalactic Championship belt on his shoulder, pulling it out and kissing it before placing it back and his picture freezes.]
MORTON MURPHY:
“Taking on an Intergalactic Championship qualifier who qualifies TONIGHT!”
[ATKEN’s image is joined by the outline of a guy who just shrugs with a question mark over his chest.]
[CUT-TO: MURPHY and MONDAY sitting at the announce table where MONDAY rubs his hands together.]
AUGUST MONDAY:
“Bein’ a Champion is one thing. Bein’ a Intergalactic Champ is another. Defendin’ ya belt ‘gainst somebody ya can’t even prepare for is somethin’ else entirely.”
MORTON MURPHY:
“Phil Atken’s opponent will be decided out of our first contest for the evening which puts THREE men in triangle rules RIGHT HERE tonight in Ocean City.”
AUGUST MONDAY:
“The first of those men is Aran Thompson. Morty, I’ve seen Aran in action. I spent some time in Legacy of Champions---“
MORTON MURPHY:
“Where haven’t you spent time?”
AUGUST MONDAY:
“The answer ain’t your mother’s bed.
“I’ve seen Aran. I’ve seen him wrestle. They don’t call him Mr. Relentless coz he’s a short burn, Morty. The kids in for the long haul and he’s got what it takes.”
[SMASH –CUT: The screens fill with a SORRY YOU’RE NOT A WINNER logo smashing into the screen again. The words “Intergalactic Championship Qualifying Match” stamp down into the screen as ARAN THOMPSON’s face fills it. His image is pushed back and to the left of the screen where he smiles at the camera and massages the knuckles on his right hand.]
MORTON MURPHY:
“Kids? Thompson is a veteran in the field, Augie.”
AUGUST MONDAY:
“When you’ve been in that ring for 35 years, Morty, I’ll address you how I want.”
MORTON MURPHY:
“The second competitor is the monstrous former NLW Open-Weight Champion, Magnus Destructo.”
[MAGNUS DESTRUCTO’s face fills the screen and pushes off to the right hand side. He screams at the camera and runs his thumb across his throat before the image freezes, mid cutthroat.]
MORTON MURPHY:
“The man’s a beast. The man’s a monster. The man is going to do everything he can to tear apart the competition tonight and face-off with our Intergalactic Champion later in the show.”
AUGUST MONDAY:
“The final entrant tryin’ ta qualify is the man formerly known as High Flyer.
[JACK HARMEN’s face fills the screen and his image pushes back into the center, behind the other two competitors. He throws his head back and “WOOOO”s before folding his arms and freezing.]
[CUT-TO: MORTY and AUGUST who are both smiling widely with the expectations of the contests on tonight.]
AUGUST MONDAY:
“ Morty, when I seen he signed up for the card I got excited. I’ve known Jack for a long time. I’ve seen him wrestle. And some guys, like me, they drop a step over the years. This guy hasn’t. This guy is wrestlin’ Hall of Fame. Whatever league. Whatever promotion. Jack Harmen is wrestlin’ Hall of Fame.”
MORTON MURPHY:
“Can Jack Harmen add Intergalactic Championship to that long golden laundry list of his? Or will Aran Thompson’s relentlessness take him over the line? I’m sure the monstrosity that is Magnus Destructo will have a tonne to say about that and folks... THAT’S JUST OUR OPENING MATCH!”
AUGUST MONDAY:
“Oh man. What a show.”
MORTON MURPHY:
“Coz chasin’ that up is a FOUR-WAY DANCE between a range of competitors that you can’t HELP but quiver and quake in the wake of. Ladies and gentlemen, Leyenda de Ocho is in the house tonight as he chases his SECOND IGC qualifier and he would be the first man in our short history to earn a second shot at the belt.”
[SMASH –CUT: The screens fill with a SORRY YOU’RE NOT A WINNER logo smashing into the screen again. The words “Intergalactic Championship Qualifying Match” stamp down LEYENDA DE OCHO’s masked face fills the screen. His image is pushed back and to the left as he makes a triangle with his fingers to the camera and freezes.]
AUGUST MONDAY:
“The kid’s got guts. The kid’s got guile. Havin’ seen him in action over at WREX, Morty, I can understand why these kids out here are wearin’ Ocho’s mask. But he’s gotta earn it. And earn it he shall. Xoesh the Zith from God knows where is comin’ in completely unknown and I dunno what to expect outta him, Morty.”
[XOESH THE ZITH’s image fills the screen and is puished to the far right as he points to the skies looking up when his image freezes.]
MORTON MURPHY:
“He IS claimin’ to really give us our Intergalactic status tonight, Augie. He’s a relative unknown but that doesn’t rule him out of the contest. The Cancer of TWOstars, Christopher Ryan Eagles, has come back for a second chance to qualify and face our champion. He’s pulled up short once before but I’m CERTAIN that’ll just be fuel in the belly of that beast.”
[CHRISTOPHER RYAN EAGLES smug face appears in the frame and his image is pushed back beside OCHO’s. He folds his arms across his chest, looks left and then right before sadistically grinning at the camera as it freezes his image.]
AUGUST MONDAY:
“There ain’t no bigger beasts in this industry than the SUPERBEAST, Morty.
[Filling the frame is the blue haired beast that is SYLO and it slowly pushes him in the gap between EAGLES and XOESH. He holds up his hands and puts them together before making a snapping motion and placing his hands on his hips.]
AUGUST MONDAY:
“ Sylo is here tonight in Ocean City to sway the wrestlin’ gods. That man has been tearin’ apart the Legacy of Champions and jOlt ever since he stepped inside their rings. He’s gonna have a lot to say in this match.”
MORTON MURPHY:
“And if THAT ain’t enough for you... all four of these men will be competing in a TABLES! LADDERS! CHAIRS! match to snatch a contract hanging HIGH OVER THE RING to face whoever walks out of here tonight as the Intergalactic Champion at our next show, V for Victoralicious.”
[CUT-TO: MURPHY and MONDAY. MONDAY is shaking his head in disbelief and turning to MURPHY.]
AUGUST MONDAY:
“Who comes up with these names?”
MORTON MURPHY:
“I’ll have you know I’ve got the best creative team you’ve ever seen, August.
“And folks, to top off our evening we will see our Intergalactic Champion, Phil Atken, go head-to-head with the winner out of our first match. If you bought tickets you got them CHEAP, CHEAP, CHEAP! I dunno if I’ve seen a better card than this before.”
AUGUST MONDAY:
“You bet your ass this’ll be a Helluva show.”
[As the cameras whirl around and the pyros make boom the camera settles on the announce table where MORTON MURPHY sits wearing an aqua suit that has a silver IGC logo emblazoned on the breast pocket. Sitting beside him is THE RAGING FEAR AUGUST MONDAY, grizzly beard almost tangled with the headset, wearing a black “www.fear.com” sleeveless t-shirt to show off the sleeves of tattoos. MONDAY sits emotionless. MURPHY grins like a Cheshire cat.]
MORTON MURPHY:
“Welcome one and all the Ocean City Convention Centre HERE in OCEAN CITAY, Maryland. We’re here tonight for SORRY YOU’RE NOT A WINNER the THIRD Intergalactic Championship event and we have got one HELL of a card for you that’s OUT. OF. THIS. WORLD!
“Joining me at the announce table today is veteran of GOD knows how many years, the Raaaaaaaaaging Fear.... Mr. August Monday.”
AUGUST MONDAY:
“Morty... this card tonight is back ta back epic and there’s gonna be some blood, sweat an’ tears spilt in that there ring tonight, son.”
MORTON MURPHY:
“You can say that again, Augie. Tonight’s card is jam-packed with Intergalactic qualifying matches but our MAIN EVENT sees Phil Atken...”
[SMASH –CUT: The screens fill with a SORRY YOU’RE NOT A WINNER logo smashing into the screen, the backdrop the crazy fans of Ocean City. The words “Intergalactic Championship Match” stamp down like they’re being pressed in a steel mill. PHIL ATKEN’s face fills the screen and the image shoots back to a pre-filmed spot of ATKEN patting the Intergalactic Championship belt on his shoulder, pulling it out and kissing it before placing it back and his picture freezes.]
MORTON MURPHY:
“Taking on an Intergalactic Championship qualifier who qualifies TONIGHT!”
[ATKEN’s image is joined by the outline of a guy who just shrugs with a question mark over his chest.]
[CUT-TO: MURPHY and MONDAY sitting at the announce table where MONDAY rubs his hands together.]
AUGUST MONDAY:
“Bein’ a Champion is one thing. Bein’ a Intergalactic Champ is another. Defendin’ ya belt ‘gainst somebody ya can’t even prepare for is somethin’ else entirely.”
MORTON MURPHY:
“Phil Atken’s opponent will be decided out of our first contest for the evening which puts THREE men in triangle rules RIGHT HERE tonight in Ocean City.”
AUGUST MONDAY:
“The first of those men is Aran Thompson. Morty, I’ve seen Aran in action. I spent some time in Legacy of Champions---“
MORTON MURPHY:
“Where haven’t you spent time?”
AUGUST MONDAY:
“The answer ain’t your mother’s bed.
“I’ve seen Aran. I’ve seen him wrestle. They don’t call him Mr. Relentless coz he’s a short burn, Morty. The kids in for the long haul and he’s got what it takes.”
[SMASH –CUT: The screens fill with a SORRY YOU’RE NOT A WINNER logo smashing into the screen again. The words “Intergalactic Championship Qualifying Match” stamp down into the screen as ARAN THOMPSON’s face fills it. His image is pushed back and to the left of the screen where he smiles at the camera and massages the knuckles on his right hand.]
MORTON MURPHY:
“Kids? Thompson is a veteran in the field, Augie.”
AUGUST MONDAY:
“When you’ve been in that ring for 35 years, Morty, I’ll address you how I want.”
MORTON MURPHY:
“The second competitor is the monstrous former NLW Open-Weight Champion, Magnus Destructo.”
[MAGNUS DESTRUCTO’s face fills the screen and pushes off to the right hand side. He screams at the camera and runs his thumb across his throat before the image freezes, mid cutthroat.]
MORTON MURPHY:
“The man’s a beast. The man’s a monster. The man is going to do everything he can to tear apart the competition tonight and face-off with our Intergalactic Champion later in the show.”
AUGUST MONDAY:
“The final entrant tryin’ ta qualify is the man formerly known as High Flyer.
[JACK HARMEN’s face fills the screen and his image pushes back into the center, behind the other two competitors. He throws his head back and “WOOOO”s before folding his arms and freezing.]
[CUT-TO: MORTY and AUGUST who are both smiling widely with the expectations of the contests on tonight.]
AUGUST MONDAY:
“ Morty, when I seen he signed up for the card I got excited. I’ve known Jack for a long time. I’ve seen him wrestle. And some guys, like me, they drop a step over the years. This guy hasn’t. This guy is wrestlin’ Hall of Fame. Whatever league. Whatever promotion. Jack Harmen is wrestlin’ Hall of Fame.”
MORTON MURPHY:
“Can Jack Harmen add Intergalactic Championship to that long golden laundry list of his? Or will Aran Thompson’s relentlessness take him over the line? I’m sure the monstrosity that is Magnus Destructo will have a tonne to say about that and folks... THAT’S JUST OUR OPENING MATCH!”
AUGUST MONDAY:
“Oh man. What a show.”
MORTON MURPHY:
“Coz chasin’ that up is a FOUR-WAY DANCE between a range of competitors that you can’t HELP but quiver and quake in the wake of. Ladies and gentlemen, Leyenda de Ocho is in the house tonight as he chases his SECOND IGC qualifier and he would be the first man in our short history to earn a second shot at the belt.”
[SMASH –CUT: The screens fill with a SORRY YOU’RE NOT A WINNER logo smashing into the screen again. The words “Intergalactic Championship Qualifying Match” stamp down LEYENDA DE OCHO’s masked face fills the screen. His image is pushed back and to the left as he makes a triangle with his fingers to the camera and freezes.]
AUGUST MONDAY:
“The kid’s got guts. The kid’s got guile. Havin’ seen him in action over at WREX, Morty, I can understand why these kids out here are wearin’ Ocho’s mask. But he’s gotta earn it. And earn it he shall. Xoesh the Zith from God knows where is comin’ in completely unknown and I dunno what to expect outta him, Morty.”
[XOESH THE ZITH’s image fills the screen and is puished to the far right as he points to the skies looking up when his image freezes.]
MORTON MURPHY:
“He IS claimin’ to really give us our Intergalactic status tonight, Augie. He’s a relative unknown but that doesn’t rule him out of the contest. The Cancer of TWOstars, Christopher Ryan Eagles, has come back for a second chance to qualify and face our champion. He’s pulled up short once before but I’m CERTAIN that’ll just be fuel in the belly of that beast.”
[CHRISTOPHER RYAN EAGLES smug face appears in the frame and his image is pushed back beside OCHO’s. He folds his arms across his chest, looks left and then right before sadistically grinning at the camera as it freezes his image.]
AUGUST MONDAY:
“There ain’t no bigger beasts in this industry than the SUPERBEAST, Morty.
[Filling the frame is the blue haired beast that is SYLO and it slowly pushes him in the gap between EAGLES and XOESH. He holds up his hands and puts them together before making a snapping motion and placing his hands on his hips.]
AUGUST MONDAY:
“ Sylo is here tonight in Ocean City to sway the wrestlin’ gods. That man has been tearin’ apart the Legacy of Champions and jOlt ever since he stepped inside their rings. He’s gonna have a lot to say in this match.”
MORTON MURPHY:
“And if THAT ain’t enough for you... all four of these men will be competing in a TABLES! LADDERS! CHAIRS! match to snatch a contract hanging HIGH OVER THE RING to face whoever walks out of here tonight as the Intergalactic Champion at our next show, V for Victoralicious.”
[CUT-TO: MURPHY and MONDAY. MONDAY is shaking his head in disbelief and turning to MURPHY.]
AUGUST MONDAY:
“Who comes up with these names?”
MORTON MURPHY:
“I’ll have you know I’ve got the best creative team you’ve ever seen, August.
“And folks, to top off our evening we will see our Intergalactic Champion, Phil Atken, go head-to-head with the winner out of our first match. If you bought tickets you got them CHEAP, CHEAP, CHEAP! I dunno if I’ve seen a better card than this before.”
AUGUST MONDAY:
“You bet your ass this’ll be a Helluva show.”