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Just a little P.O.ed


League Member
Jan 1, 2000
{{...FADE-IN: A locker room area. We recognize it as being the place Shane Southern just cut his ON TIME in Portland Promo. The lights and ON TIME banner are still up as Southern walks back into the room. He had just heard somebody call out Evan Aho's name and went to investigate. As he walks into the room, he mutters "damn" under his breath and shakes his head. He wasn't able to catch up to Evan, and he STILL hasn't talked to him about their tag team match tonight. Taking a deep breath, we see the frustration set in. He walks over to a bench and has a seat....}}

SHANE SOUTHERN: " You rollin' Jackie? " {{...The camera bobs up and down...}} You wanna' cut another promo? {{...The camera bobs up and down...}} OK, well don't worry 'bout tha' backdrop. We'll do it from right here? That OK? {{...The camera bobs up and down...}} OK. Good. "

" Well Evan, it's almost time. It's almost time fer you n' me ta' team up. I've been sittin' back watchin' Miles n' Mayfield make jack-asses outta' themselves, I've been sitting back watchin' as Simply Stunnin' Turns...but I haven't been sittin' back plannin' a match. WHY? 'Cause my <BLEEP> damn partner ain't got tha' time or tha' WILL, ta' put forth justa' little EFFORT for a TITLE match. Ya' know Evan, I don't giva' damn if ya' want these belts or not. I don't care if you want tha' damn WORLD TITLE or not. We're steppin' inta' tha' ring with quite possibly tha' two BEST Tag teams in tha' WORLD. Call me crazy, but I'd like ta' AT LEAST know where ya' stand. I'd like ta' KNOW that when I turn and reach mah' hand out ta' you that it's gonna' get SLAPPED. "

" I'm not worried 'bout you "turnin" on me. I know you're 'bout winnin' tha' MATCH first, or so you've said. Mah' concern here Evan is that you ain't in tha' right MIND frame ta' beat two teams like tha' Pros and Stunnin'. This casual, wait n' see crap ain't gonna' cut it n' if you get my ASS kicked in there, we've got even MORE uva' problem than EVER before. If you see this before out match Evan...chew on it REAL hard, n' decide what side a' tha' fence you're gonna' come down on. Then, if it ain't too much trouble, let ME know BEFORE tha' bell rings. "

" Now, Eddie...nice of ya' ta' join tha' little party. I guess now we know why ya' ain't graced us with yer presence yet. You must be lost. Those swamps can be damn confusin'. So I'm gonna' help you out here. From where you are, ta' get back to tha' MAIN road, walk 'bout fifty feet, grab a low branch off one a' those trees, break off a piece 'bout two feet long, rip off a piece of cloth, tie it to tha' stick...then SHOVE IT RIGHT UP YER ASS! Mayfield, are ya' really such n' idiot that ya' think Evan Aho n' Shane Southern ain't gonna' be ALL ya' handle ta'night? Loose tha' attitude mah' man, 'cause I know you Eddie. Yer justa' humorous idiot livin' heat generated years ago. You n' Miles, yer nuthin' now. You're just two guys lookin' ta' collect a paycheck and hold on ta' that spotlight justa' LITTLE bit longer. Well, lemme' tell ya' Eddie...yer camel's 'bout ta' be put OUT. Shane Southern ain't just "in tha' way",...he's a freakin' ROADBLOCK that ya' just don't get around. N' now...thanks ta' that little skit, I'm a PISSED OFF ROADBLOCK that's gonna' knock yer ass right inta' tha' DITCH. "

" Get this through yer skulls boys. N' this goes for YOU too Evan. Shane Southern is 'bout ta' come out there n' kick some serious ASS. You wanna' step in mah' way? Yer takin' yer careers inta' yer own hands. Party's OVER. "

{{...FADE OUT as Southern gets up and walks out the door...}}


Pressure Chief
Jan 1, 2000
Let's be serious

(FADEIN: To 'Hot Property' EDDIE MAYFIELD, standing in front of a brick wall being illuminated by blinking lights, apparently belonging to some casino in Vegas where he currently is. MAYFIELD is wearing a black 'F451' tee and jeans, Camel and normal cocky attitude. MAYFIELD smirks and takes a puff off of his cigartte, blowing a stream of smoke out the corner of his mouth.)

MAYFIELD: "Ok, Shane Southern, come on man - let's be serious for a minute. Because you're the bees knees in some toilet bowl fed in Boston makes me old hat? Apparently you forgot that the dood you're trying to cast as a Has-been was holding BOTH the god-<BLEEP!> World tagteam titles in the same league you were World champ of when they decided to stop paying the light bill. Oh - I guess you forgot that. (Shrugs) I've been taking my time making money after repeat appearances as Americas' favorite viallain, Niles Danger, on Relic Hunter, and getting backrubs and hanging at freaky cast parties with Tia Carrare for the past few years, and then I decided to come back and beat up some more doods in a wrestling ring. As far as EYE know - you ain't been in 'Japan' winning belts and sh<BLEEP!> for the past 5 or so years, have ya? No, Apparently, you were too busy counting the Hurricane stains on your wifebeater in an alley somewhere in that crap tourist trap town you live in and forgot that Eddie Mayfield has been WHITE-HOT since day one. This ain't nostalgia, buddy - this is right HERE, and right now. I'll leave the rest of the Jesus Jones references alone, because I'll probably go over your stupid head.

See, Eddie Mayfield ain't a clown - quite the contrary. I'm not the goof, man. I'm not the wacky neighbor on your sitcom. I'm the guy that the girls wanna sleep with, and the guy that their boyfriends wanna punch in the mouth, but don't have the balls to back it up. I'm Hot Property, and EYE am YOUR problem, if you wanna make it one.
So as I said before - you stay outta my way, and I won't have to bring the noise down on your non-charasmatic ass.

You see something Shane - I don't buy into your deal. You ain't nothing special. You may impress some of those rooks in the back because you've had your name at the top of a card, and not the bottom - and guess what? It ain't nothing new to me. I don't fear you, and I DON'T think your the best thing walking in that locker room. I don't sweat you, and I sure as hell don't sweat Evan A<BLEEP>hole, our esteemed champion. I'm a humorous idiot? (Laughs) come on, man. You HAVE to know better than that. I'm one of the most dangerous men in this sport. Naw, I'm not some 7 foot shootfighter that can punch holes through steel, and I'm not a highflying barnstormer, but push my buttons, and you'll be wondering why you woke up in the middle of the ring with a lump on your head, and a win in my column, or your belt around my waist - OOPS - (Thinks) wait a second, didn't you just lose your title to a friggin' POOL BOY? (laughs) - RIGHT. You got sh<BLEEP!> to say to Eddie Mayfield? Man, you better think again, hayseed.

See Shane, you believed your own hype for a little too long. You believed your own press clippings, and the marking of a buncha idiots who don't know how to spell 'workrate', let alone appreciate a hot promo. Dood, anybodys career that has been built around being pushed to the top, because 'there was nobody better to push at the time' ain't gonna go through MY backyard. You wanna roll in MY world, huh? Right now, MY world, until I decide otherwise, is the CSWA tagteam division. You're in MY yard, and I'm 'fixin' to slap the sh<BLEEP!> outta you for having the gall to think you can come in here and think you can own me - that you THINK you can B<BLEEP!>CH me out. I'm a PRO, Shane, something you obviously haven't had the pleasure of being around. If you wanna drop belts to Mullet-headed poolboys and call yourself the ish - hey, do it on your own time. on MY time, which is SHOWTIME, me and Cocky Craig have a date with two gold belts, and you two idiots aren't' invited. Shane - I'll friggin' split your wig if you get in my way, and there's NO WAY ON GOD'S GREEN EARTH that you'll leave Showtime with those belts. There's NO WAY ON GOD'S GREEN EARTH that Simply Stunning are leaving with those belts. They are going home with Eddie Mayfield and Craig Miles, and if you're a betting man, I'd put my money on a SURE THING, dood. You think I'm a funny guy? Right now my friend Heh - I'm DEAD serious." (MAYFIELD glares at the camera and pitches his Camel right at the lens. FADEOUT)


Teaming Up?


Shane Southern is pacing the corridors of the arena when his tag team partner, Evan Aho, rounds the corner and cuts off the Louisiana native. Southern immediately clenches his fists and jaw, obviously frustrated that Aho has been out of touch. Evan holds up his hands and takes a step back to dispell any thoughts of agression. Southern's look softens a bit, but he crosses his arms over his chest.

AHO - I heard you had some questions.

SOUTHERN - I s'pose where ya've been is outta tha' question. But I'd like ta' know if mah partner is gonna act like a CHAMPION and kick some ass tonight or if I'm gonna hafta do this mahself.

AHO - Is anything that I say going to make a difference in what you believe?

SOUTHERN - I'm standin' in front of ya listenin', ain't I?

AHO - Then believe me when I tell you that every night of my career I've shown up. Every night of my career I've wrestled better than the last. Every night of my career I've given everything I had to give. Why? Because this is what I love to do.

SOUTHERN - That betta go for tonight.

AHO - You worry too much.

Southern grimaces a bit.

AHO - Look, I'm here to wrestle. Nothing else. Tonight, if you look over to the corner for a tag...guaranteed I'm jumping in the ring. That's my opportunity to get in on the action. I won't pass it up.

Evan offers his hand. Southern frowns for an instant in reflection. He reaches out and takes it.


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