[CUE UP: "Be A Man" by Macho Man Randy Savage. Well, the last chorus at any rate, as it soon fades to the end. Yep, it's another radio appearance]
DJ: That was "Be a Man." With me now in the studio here I have someone who's opponent in Empire Pro has said the same about, Karl "The Dragon" Brown. Karl, if I may, you're going up against an unknown here in X. What're you're thoughts going in?
Karl: Well, I'm really thinking the guy needs to learn to stop using the tired, clichéd sound bites and actually develop something approaching originality. There's nothing I've seen from him that I haven't seen hundreds of times over the years. In Japan, I saw a lot of what's known as Garbage Wrestling, where the barbed wire chair was a common weapon, as was the 'X-treme' gimmick. Here in the US in backyard wrestling, I've seen the same things he's doing. As for his attempts at humour, I must say I'm unimpressed. Or maybe they were his attempts at being intelligent? Who knows? [Karl and the DJ both chuckle at that]
DJ: True, true, but I was thinking more some of the comments in his last spot talking about your time in MCW.
Karl: Well, he can say all the negative things about MCW he wants. It was my first promotion, but it's gone under, it's the past. I can see where he's coming from with the whole 'This isn't MCW' bit, because he's right. But then again, I also see he's missed the point I was making. It wasn't MCW that I was showcasing; it was the fact he said I wouldn't walk out of Aggression. If I could walk out after losing all that blood and falling through the top of a cell, through the wood and barbed wire to the hard metal floor of the level below, then I can walk out of Aggression under my own power. Like I said, though, he likes to use every wrestling cliché imaginable in his mic spots, so it was probably him being his unoriginal self.
DJ: What do you make of him throwing around the EPW staff like that?
Karl: It shows him for what he is; a common bully. Same as you find on any schoolyard, crying out for attention.
DJ: So, you think he's nothing more than a bully?
Karl: That's all I find him to be, yeah. Anyone can beat up a techie or hit a security guard onto a barbed wire wrapped chair. That doesn't make someone 'X-treme' or good; it makes them a bully and thug. Although, maybe calling him a thug is insulting to the Thuggie tribe.
DJ: Huh?
Karl: Hindu tribe who worshipped Kali; a little hard to explain if you're not big on British colonial history or Hinduism.
DJ: Oh, OK. Getting back to X then
Karl: [interrupting] Sure. Like I was saying, it doesn't take a big man to attack someone from behind, or manhandle someone who can't fight back. Especially when they in all likelihood don't know where I happened to be when I made a segment for tape.
DJ: Out of interest, where were you?
Karl: At home in England. I taped it at Formula One gym in Nottingham, so what he was doing attacking people in dressing rooms is beyond me. That gym has the men’s changing room on one floor, the women’s on another, and three gym floors aside from the reception area. He was in completely the wrong place.
DJ: You duped him?
Karl: No. It's fairly common knowledge amongst the guys near the top of the EPW staff that I travel a lot. You know, Canada, England, Japan. I do all that to train to the best of my abilities. I happened to be in England that day training at that gym, so I thought I'd put together a taped segment there. They still had the backdrop from one of my other matches there, so they whipped it out, let me use the gym next to reception to do the tape, and I went back to training a few minutes after the camera finished rolling. X'll probably claim that he was at that gym, but I know that gym like the back of my hand. I've been training there for about a decade, and the layout he was running round was nothing like Formula One.
DJ: OK. X also said you'd managed to single-handedly prove, and I quote, "to the entire world that you have been destroyed on various occasions, by various opponents. Now it is a very large feat to prove yourself to be a joke both inside the ring and out"
Karl: I know. I saw the tape.
DJ: Do you have any comments?
Karl: He obviously didn't do his homework; otherwise he'd know I gave out as good as I got in each of those matches. Sands is hardly an easy opponent, and if it weren't for the lights cutting out, I might have won. Maelstrom is ranked as the best in the business for last year, so he's definitely not an easy guy to beat, but if it weren't for the bell sounding as the ref’s hand went down for the third time, I'd have picked up a rare win over him. And Adam Benjamin will tell you himself I put him through the ringer in Mayhem Mountain. I just happened to show the parts where I managed to withstand their punishment. I could have been an egotistical guy and shown me in complete control, but that's not me. As for proving myself a joke inside and outside the ring, he's got a lot to learn before he can claim someone is making themselves look a joke. Ask any of my opponents, from Dakota Smith and Maelstrom to Christian Sands, Rocko Daymon, Adam Benjamin and The Watcher, you'll find they all say I know how to handle myself, and am far from a joke. Sitting on top of the NWL's wrestling league series isn't something a joke could do, and X'll find that out soon enough.
DJ: Now, Karl, you must be getting tired of saying the same two things. I'm sure you know what I'm talking about.
Karl: Yes, I do. And it does get tiresome having to repeat myself for people who can't be bothered to do their research. If X had done some, he'd know the inner struggle isn't some inner demon, but my quest to surpass my own skills. He'd also know that the title "The Dragon" is something I got given for being one of the all time best at a school I trained at in Japan. But, he's probably too 'X-treme' to do decent enough research the first time.
DJ: Moving on, were you serious about your intention to face him in any type of match Ryan and Freeman choose?
Karl: Yep. Right the way from normal, one on one, man to man no weapons combat, to any of the crazy matches I saw out in Japan. Over there, I've seen matches where the ringside area was fully ablaze, where the ropes were replaced with barbed wire, where there were landmines around an open ring, matches with crocodiles involved, matches with all types of things that you can use to kill a man. Guys like the Great Sasuke and Mr Pogo had some wars in those types of matches, but if Ryan and Freeman want to book one, I've got no problem working it. I'm paid to go out there and wrestle in matches, which is what I'll continue to do. If I don't like the type of match they put me in, it's not my place to complain. I'm under contract, and I'll honour that.
DJ: OK. Finally, any closing remarks? About X, for example?
Karl: Only that I wish he'd stop using cliché’s which were old when Freddie Blassie was starting out. I think Lou Thesz heard some of the things X is using back when he won his first world title. Seriously, before he becomes any more generic, boring and clichéd, X should do himself and us a favour by developing his own personality.
DJ: Thanks again for coming in, Karl. It's been a pleasure to have you on The Total News Show, and good luck in your match against X.
Karl: And good luck to you if X decides to come calling.
[Both men laugh, as The Boomtown Rats "I Don't Like Mondays" starts playing. FADE OUT]