Karl Brown vs. X

[JABolich]

Last week, X debuted with a bang by laying out Karl Brown and Stephen Waltz. Now, Brown looks to gain a measure of revenge as he battles X in the newcomer's debut match!

 

[gool_noel]

X Speaks

{The man known as X is sitting on an open folding chair directly in front of a full size beige locker in the freshly painted white locker room. A black folding chair marked wrapped in barbed-wire and marked with a large white "X" on the seat is leaning against the locker. X is bent over slightly with his forearms resting on the calves of his open legs. He wears a white skull cap and black jogging pants with a large white "X" imprinted on each leg. His hands and wrists are taped, one black and one white, and he has a white towel draped around his neck. He stares intensely at the camera for a few seconds before he removes the towel from his neck and rises from the chair. He tosses the towel onto the chair and begins to speak.}

X: "Welcome everybody to your very first of many segments with the EPW's newest PREMIER talent... me, X. My appearance on Aggression seems to have caused quite a controversy and its left many questions unanswered. Who are you? Where's you come from? Why'd you attack Stephen Waltz AND Karl Brown? Is it true, that you ended Stephen Waltz' career? After your match, will Karl Brown ever be able to walk again? All these questions and more will soon be answered, but first let's recap what actually happened on Aggression. Now I take you to X's XTREME RECAP.

{The words X's XTREME RECAP fly across the screen in a quick marquee and then fly in from the front, implanting themselves on the screen. The words are wrapped in barbedwire and begin to bleed as the smash onto the screen in a jumbled fashion. The logo fades to black and cuts to a clip from last week's Aggression:

Stephen Waltz is choking Karl Brown with his boot, when all of a sudden the lights fall and strobelights illuminate the arena.
"X Gonna Give It To Ya" by DMX kicks in. X appears at the head of the ramp carrying a black folding chair wrapped in barbed wire . X rolls into the ring.
X interjects:}

X: "PAUSE IT!!! Now I want everyone to pay close attention, this is my favorite part. Pay close attention to the shocked look on Karl Brown's face as he gets crowned by my good friend. Roll the tape"

{The tape continues to show X turning around and decking Karl Brown in the head with the insane chair. Brown collapses wearing a crimson mask of his own blood. The clip fades back to an excited X in the locker room.}

X: "DID YOU SEE THAT!!! Now wasn't that the best thing you have ever seen Karl Brown do in EPW. I am certainly glad that I showed everyone I mean business.
Now for a little Q & A with the King of Extreme. First up, why did I attack Stephen Waltz and Karl Brown. Well, let me try and break it down so even Karl Brown can understand.
For starters, I was in the mood to put Stephen Waltz in his place for just being a douchebag and second of all, I was just in the mood to beat the Sh(censor) out of someone. That's basically all of it. Ohhhh, I forgot the most important reason: because I can!
Next question, did I really end Stephen Waltz' career? The answer; Yes, yes I did. Due to Stephen Waltz' shattered face and shattered self esteem, he has decided to pack his bags and head out of the EPW. My prediction is that the man may never wrestle again because I am simply that good. My first of many historic nights in EPW and I drove one of their mainstream competitors out of the business. How great!
And finally, the last question of the night. Will Karl Brown be able to walk after our match at Aggression. My prediction... no, no, no my Xtreme Guarantee is that Karl Brown will not be able to walk out of the ring after i get done with him. Last week, you were able to limp out on your own will, but I'm afraid that this week will not be the same for you Karl Brown. After a few short seconds and a quick introduction to my Xtreme Equalizer, you were laid out cold. Now imagine what's gonna happen to you after a minute or two because I highly doubt you will be able to last any longer than that. God, I bet your body will have trouble supporting my massive frame while you're lying under me for three whole seconds. Now doesn't three seconds sound like a lot compared to our last encounter. I could smell your fear, I saw it in your eyes. You saw me and you wanted to cry, you practically fell to your knees and prayed to God that it wasn't your time. Luckily, I took it easy on you. However, your beating was not all bad news. Now everytime you show someone the scars on your face, you can tell them that the Legendary "X" gave them to you and after Aggression you can show them a couple more.
Now Karl, buddy, pal, I have an Xtreme Proposition for you. Our match at Aggression needs to be exciting, we need to spruce it up a bit because honestly, kid, you are not the most exciting of wrestlers to watch. Now I could entertain these fans for hours, but you, you could do a swandive off the roof into a shotglass and get nothing but a few claps from your mother. So I was thinking, what is one thing that would actually make a Karl Brown match interesting. Then it hit me, what if I brought along a few of my friends. You've met Mr. Barbedwire Chair, so why don't you meet some of his other friends. So, Karl if you have the cash and prizes, if you have the muebles, if you have the balls, take me on in, what I like to call, an "X's Rules" Match. No DQ, Falls count anywhere, anything goes anywhere. Once that bell rings and you've stepped into my playground, you will see what true hell is like. So accept my offer because now that your career has hit rock-bottom, you have nothing to lose...well, except maybe your life, but that isn't that important anyway. I'm looking forward to this, Karl, so don't chicken out. Me and Mr. Barbedwire Chair will see you there."

{X picks up the barbed wire chair from against the locker and walks off camera. He returns 3 seconds later and stares once more into the camera.}
X: "Oh and one more thing... ... ...
This is Xtreme!"
{X lifts the chair to the side and smashes the camera with it, the camera lens cracks and the camera falls to the ground. The screen is filled with static and then fades to black}

 

[EpyonMarx]

[FADE IN. An Empire Pro Wrestling backdrop suffices, as a man widely regarded as one of the hottest rookies today, Karl “The Dragon” Brown, stands with his hands on his hips, a smile on his face, and a chuckle]

Karl: Looks like we’ve got an attention seeker, eh, X? And a guy who’s big on Mick Foley, no less. A man who decides that for his big debut, he’s gonna attack myself and Stephen Waltz with a steel chair wrapped in barbed wire. Well, do you want to know something, X?

That shot was far from the worst shot I’ve taken. I’ve taken far worse from far better, and survived. And they didn’t need weapons.

[CUT TO: A clip from NWL Combat episode 5, as Brown took on Maelstrom]

Gonzago: Maelstrom brings Brown up to his feet, as he sets up for a.....

.......PILEDRIVER! Karl Brown's head just BOUNCED off the mat like a basketball, as Maelstrom makes another pinfall attempt.....

1....

2....

......NO! KARL BROWN KICKS OUT!"

Kincaid: "I can't believe it! This kid is really showing us something here tonight!"

Gonzago: "Maelstrom is bringing Karl Brown up to his feet, turning him around, grabbing for him......

.....THERE IT IS! MORTAL SIN! MAELSTROM HAS MORTAL SIN LOCKED IN ON KARL BROWN!"

Kincaid: "It's all over now! Karl Brown clearly isn't getting out of this one."

Gonzago: "Maelstrom has that half claw/half nelson submission locked on Karl Brown! Brown is trying to fight it, as the referee is asking if he wants to give up. But Brown isn't going to give it up, as he is trying valiantly to fight the Mortal Sin! Maelstrom picks Brown up and starts swinging him around, trying to shake Brown into submission! Karl Brown is kicking his feet, trying to gain some leverage.......but it doesn't work! Brown is now slowly becoming subdued by Maelstrom, who continues to keep hold of Mortal Sin. The referee is checking up on Brown, as he sees him slowly slipping into unconsciousness....

......Brown's arms fall down! The referee is now going to raise Brown's arms to see if he's out completely. The ref lifts Brown's arm the first time.....

......and it falls down! The referee signals '1' as he grabs hold of Brown's arm and lifts it up again. The referee lets go of his arm.....

......and it falls down a second time! Brown is one arm drop away from being eliminated here tonight!"

Kincaid: "Karl Brown has no chance in hell now of surviving this match......no chance whatsoever."

Gonzago: "The referee signals '2' now as he grabs hold of Brown's arm for a third time and lifts it up high in the air. The referee drops the arm......

OH MI DIOS!!! KARL BROWN IS ALIVE AND KICKING!!! Karl Brown's arm is up and he is awake now! He is kicking his feet once again, as he......

......YES! Karl Brown grabs hold of the second ropes with both his legs! Karl Brown has broken himself out of the Mortal Sin.....

[CUT TO: A clip from EPW Aggression in week three, when Brown took on Christian Sands]

DT: Christian Sands grabs Karl Brown from behind... LOCKS ON THE SANDMAN'S CLUTCH!!

MN: HA HA!! There's NO WAY Karl Brown can survive the SANDSTORM!!

[Brown is brought to his knees, fighting the obvious pain.]

DT: I can only IMAGINE what Karl Brown is going through at this point... he certainly can't be feeling ANY good locked in the Cobra Clutch Crossface!

MN: He is only seconds away from tapping...

DT: Are you sure? He looks to be holding himself!

MN: Trust me, Dave...

[Then, fighting everything, Karl Brown slowly gets to his feet again!]

DT: Hey, what's this! Karl Brown is FIGHTING it!

MN: What?! It's USELESS, Brown! Just tap and get it over with!!

DT: Wait, BROWN with an ELBOW TO THE GUT WITH HIS FREE ARM!!

MN: OH NO!!

[Without warning, Christian Sands releases the hold. Brown slips around him like an eel, plants a knee into the smalls of his back, and locks on the Dragon Sleeper!]

DT: DRAGON SLEEPER FROM KARL BROWN!!

MN: NO WAY!!

DT: The tables have been turned... Karl Brown has it locked on perfectly!

MN: Fight it, Christian!

DT: Brown follows through... DRAGON'S BITE!!!

[CUT TO: the studio, where Karl still stands, smiling to the camera]

Karl: And I won’t even draw attention to some of the punishment I got in Mayhem Mountain over in MCW against Adam Benjamin. Compared to the punishment I’ve taken at the hands of those guys, that chair shot was next to nothing. ‘But wait, Karl,’ I hear you say. ‘X leveled you and almost knocked you out.’ Well, that’s the funny thing with surprise attacks, with attacks from behind; you don’t have a chance to get some cover up. It does tell a lot about a man, though, when he attacks from behind. Doesn’t it, X?

In the words of one of my trainers, an armed attack from behind shows cowardice. You knew what you were doing, so I can’t really call you an idiot.

[Karl pauses, reflecting on what he’s just said]

Karl: Or maybe I can. You see, you make some pretty bold statements. And not just in claiming you have a massive frame. You say you saw fear, that I was ready to get down on my knees and pray to God when I saw you… well, X, you don’t know me very well, do you? Or were you just spouting from ‘clichés for beginners’? I never have, nor ever will, believe in any form of external deity; the struggle is with oneself. If one can defeat ones own demons, if one can surpass ones own limitations, then one has no need for a middleman like God. But, whatever floats your boat I guess. Although I’d steer clear of trying to guess what goes on in my head if I were you; you don’t want to look even more like an idiot.

Next, you claim I’ll not be able to walk out of the arena after Aggression. You should buy a tape of MCW’s Culture Shock pay per view, and check out the last match. After that match, after I’d fallen through the top of the cell from a good fifteen to twenty feet above the roof of it, after losing all the blood I did from being beaten, smashed, thrown full force into barbed wire, bleeding like a stuck pig… I walked to the ambulance, got checked out, and was back a night or two later training for another match. If I can walk out of there after all that, then I can sure as hell walk out of there after picking up a win over you.

Yes, that’s right everyone; I’m actually saying I’m going to beat someone.

[Karl chuckles lightly to himself before continuing]

Karl: And then we have your little challenge. To a hardcore match. I say if Freeman and Ryan want to make it a hardcore match, let them. I’ll take you on in any match that they want to give us, same as I would anyone else. I don’t care if it’s another Mayhem Mountain, or a scaffold match, dog collar match, or no rope exploding barbed wire thumb tack land mine inferno death match. I’m paid to go out there and wrestle my opponent in whatever match the bookers sign. It’s in my contract. About the only thing I won’t do is a being eaten alive by a crocodile event, where the aim is to not only make it to the crocodile first, but be eaten too… oh, wait, Monty Python’s not a big thing over here in the US, is it?

Any type of match you can get Ryan and Freeman to agree to, I’ll be there. And I’ll make sure you feel the Dragon’s Fire.

[Brown walks off set. FADE OUT]

 

[gool_noel]

{X sits in the locker room, watching as Karl Brown's last promo fades to black. X angrily rises and quickly dashes the tv to the floor. He picks up his trusty barbedwire chair and harshly forces his way out the swinging locker room door. X now speedily stomps down a white hallway lit by fluorescent lights and littered with large metal crates and EPW employees setting up for the next live event, dragging the babrbedwire chair across the floor as the rude sound of metal on concrete emanates from it. X grabs a helpless ring tech by the shirt collar and begins yelling at him}

X: "Where did Karl Brown cut that last promo!? Tell me!

Tech: "..."

X: "You're useless."

{X tosses the ring tech against the wall with a small amount of impact and begins down the hall. He forces open many dressing room doors in search of Karl Brown, but to no avail. He continues to march down the hallway and makes a left turn, he is shocked to find an EPW backdrop and cameras set up, but no Karl Brown. X smirks as he places his hands on his hips and begins to imitate Karl Brown's voice}

X: "Hello, I'm Karl "The Man Who Has Been Beaten Up More Times Than A Pedophile In Prison" Brown. Now X, I've been beaten on Mayhem Mountain, Space Mountain, Splash Mountain, and I even fell down a hill once. Now X, how can you compare to that? If you guys hold on a second, I'll go run and grab the tape of when I had my arm ripped off by a tiger in MCW"

{X begins to laugh and then breaks character}
"Listen up, Karl. I do not give a flying f(censor) how many times you've received a beatdown. In MCW, you may have had Masochist Dream matches and Gnaw the Opponents' Genitals matches, but this is not MCW. This is Empire Pro Wrestling, baby, and you're looking at the new Emperor. The King of All Things Extreme, X."
"However, congratulations Mr. Brown, in one promo, you have single handedly proved to the entire world that you have been destroyed on various occasions, by various opponents. Now it is a very large feat to prove yourself to be a joke both inside the ring and out, but don'worry Karl, I'm gonna help you out. You know those inner demons you've been talking about, well come Aggression I will make sure to exorcise those demons for you. I will make sure to beat every and anything out of you. I do agree with you on one thing though, Karl. There is no need for a middleman like God, especially when you're a living God among men, like myself. On the bright side though, after I give you a reason to never step inside the ring again, you can take your inner demon, i don't need no God, self-help, fung shai rant on the road. Maybe you could even write a book. I see it now:
Self-Awareness and the Art of Getting Your A(censor) Kicked by Karl Brown"
"Now, Karl, you call yourself the Dragon, telling me that I will feel the dragon's fire, breath the dragon smoke, bite the dragon's balls, and whatever other horrible dragon references your adolescent imagination can come up with. Now, little Karl, let me tell you a little story before I put you to sleep permanently:
Once upon a time, in a far away land was an Empire. The Empire was in terrible trouble because there was no one in the Empire worthy of becoming King. Until one day when a glorious knight from the kingdom of the Boogie-Down arrived. His name was 'Sir X', the defender of all things good and well-deserving. He arrived in the Empire to great fanfare, shock, and applause. So during his first night in the glorious kingdom, X used his trusty weapon of choice, Xcalibur {X lifts Mr. Barbedwire Chair and pats it on the seat} and drove the cocky Sir Stephen from the Empire because his head could no longer fit in his helmet, due to his extremely large ego.
So now, before becoming king, the people of the Empire wanted Sir X to prove himself with a great feat. So the wisemen of the Empire, Sir Freeman and Sir Ryan, decided that in order to become king, Sir X must slay the dragon. Now this dragon was no ordinary dragon. This dragon was a very stubborn and not too good-looking dragon. Many before Sir X had tried to slay the dragon and had come extremely close, but everytime the dragon kept on getting back up because it simply did not know when to quit.
Come Aggression, I will write a befitting ending for my story. With Xcalibur in hand, I will slay the dragon. I will become the King of All Things Xtreme. There is a new emperor of this empire. This match is for more than revenge. This match is for all my peasants and people, for all the members of this empire, and for honor. Once you step into my dragon's den, once you step into the Xtreme Playground that is X's Squared Circle, you will know what Xtreme is. Long Live the King of Xtre..."

{X is cut off by an EPW security guard storming onto the promo set}

Guard: "What are you doing here, you're not authorized to be using this set!"

{The guard runs at X, only to be forced head first against the cement wall. X drops 'Mr. Barbedwire Chair' on the floor and holds the guard by the back of his head as he is slouched in pain. He looks towards the camera}

X: "Oh, I almost forgot. This Is Xtreme."

{X lands a standing version of the Xecution, resembling an Ace Crusher or a Diamond Cutter, onto the perfectly placed chair. X rises and once again stares into the camera}

X: "I'll see you there Karl. Peace."

{X walks off screen. The camera pans to EMT's attending to the bloodied security guard and then to the large white X imprinted on the chair next to him. The camera zooms in on the X and then fades out.}

 

[EpyonMarx]

[CUE UP: "Be A Man" by Macho Man Randy Savage. Well, the last chorus at any rate, as it soon fades to the end. Yep, it's another radio appearance]

DJ: That was "Be a Man." With me now in the studio here I have someone who's opponent in Empire Pro has said the same about, Karl "The Dragon" Brown. Karl, if I may, you're going up against an unknown here in X. What're you're thoughts going in?

Karl: Well, I'm really thinking the guy needs to learn to stop using the tired, clichéd sound bites and actually develop something approaching originality. There's nothing I've seen from him that I haven't seen hundreds of times over the years. In Japan, I saw a lot of what's known as Garbage Wrestling, where the barbed wire chair was a common weapon, as was the 'X-treme' gimmick. Here in the US in backyard wrestling, I've seen the same things he's doing. As for his attempts at humour, I must say I'm unimpressed. Or maybe they were his attempts at being intelligent? Who knows? [Karl and the DJ both chuckle at that]

DJ: True, true, but I was thinking more some of the comments in his last spot talking about your time in MCW.

Karl: Well, he can say all the negative things about MCW he wants. It was my first promotion, but it's gone under, it's the past. I can see where he's coming from with the whole 'This isn't MCW' bit, because he's right. But then again, I also see he's missed the point I was making. It wasn't MCW that I was showcasing; it was the fact he said I wouldn't walk out of Aggression. If I could walk out after losing all that blood and falling through the top of a cell, through the wood and barbed wire to the hard metal floor of the level below, then I can walk out of Aggression under my own power. Like I said, though, he likes to use every wrestling cliché imaginable in his mic spots, so it was probably him being his unoriginal self.

DJ: What do you make of him throwing around the EPW staff like that?

Karl: It shows him for what he is; a common bully. Same as you find on any schoolyard, crying out for attention.

DJ: So, you think he's nothing more than a bully?

Karl: That's all I find him to be, yeah. Anyone can beat up a techie or hit a security guard onto a barbed wire wrapped chair. That doesn't make someone 'X-treme' or good; it makes them a bully and thug. Although, maybe calling him a thug is insulting to the Thuggie tribe.

DJ: Huh?

Karl: Hindu tribe who worshipped Kali; a little hard to explain if you're not big on British colonial history or Hinduism.

DJ: Oh, OK. Getting back to X then

Karl: [interrupting] Sure. Like I was saying, it doesn't take a big man to attack someone from behind, or manhandle someone who can't fight back. Especially when they in all likelihood don't know where I happened to be when I made a segment for tape.

DJ: Out of interest, where were you?

Karl: At home in England. I taped it at Formula One gym in Nottingham, so what he was doing attacking people in dressing rooms is beyond me. That gym has the men’s changing room on one floor, the women’s on another, and three gym floors aside from the reception area. He was in completely the wrong place.

DJ: You duped him?

Karl: No. It's fairly common knowledge amongst the guys near the top of the EPW staff that I travel a lot. You know, Canada, England, Japan. I do all that to train to the best of my abilities. I happened to be in England that day training at that gym, so I thought I'd put together a taped segment there. They still had the backdrop from one of my other matches there, so they whipped it out, let me use the gym next to reception to do the tape, and I went back to training a few minutes after the camera finished rolling. X'll probably claim that he was at that gym, but I know that gym like the back of my hand. I've been training there for about a decade, and the layout he was running round was nothing like Formula One.

DJ: OK. X also said you'd managed to single-handedly prove, and I quote, "to the entire world that you have been destroyed on various occasions, by various opponents. Now it is a very large feat to prove yourself to be a joke both inside the ring and out"

Karl: I know. I saw the tape.

DJ: Do you have any comments?

Karl: He obviously didn't do his homework; otherwise he'd know I gave out as good as I got in each of those matches. Sands is hardly an easy opponent, and if it weren't for the lights cutting out, I might have won. Maelstrom is ranked as the best in the business for last year, so he's definitely not an easy guy to beat, but if it weren't for the bell sounding as the ref’s hand went down for the third time, I'd have picked up a rare win over him. And Adam Benjamin will tell you himself I put him through the ringer in Mayhem Mountain. I just happened to show the parts where I managed to withstand their punishment. I could have been an egotistical guy and shown me in complete control, but that's not me. As for proving myself a joke inside and outside the ring, he's got a lot to learn before he can claim someone is making themselves look a joke. Ask any of my opponents, from Dakota Smith and Maelstrom to Christian Sands, Rocko Daymon, Adam Benjamin and The Watcher, you'll find they all say I know how to handle myself, and am far from a joke. Sitting on top of the NWL's wrestling league series isn't something a joke could do, and X'll find that out soon enough.

DJ: Now, Karl, you must be getting tired of saying the same two things. I'm sure you know what I'm talking about.

Karl: Yes, I do. And it does get tiresome having to repeat myself for people who can't be bothered to do their research. If X had done some, he'd know the inner struggle isn't some inner demon, but my quest to surpass my own skills. He'd also know that the title "The Dragon" is something I got given for being one of the all time best at a school I trained at in Japan. But, he's probably too 'X-treme' to do decent enough research the first time.

DJ: Moving on, were you serious about your intention to face him in any type of match Ryan and Freeman choose?

Karl: Yep. Right the way from normal, one on one, man to man no weapons combat, to any of the crazy matches I saw out in Japan. Over there, I've seen matches where the ringside area was fully ablaze, where the ropes were replaced with barbed wire, where there were landmines around an open ring, matches with crocodiles involved, matches with all types of things that you can use to kill a man. Guys like the Great Sasuke and Mr Pogo had some wars in those types of matches, but if Ryan and Freeman want to book one, I've got no problem working it. I'm paid to go out there and wrestle in matches, which is what I'll continue to do. If I don't like the type of match they put me in, it's not my place to complain. I'm under contract, and I'll honour that.

DJ: OK. Finally, any closing remarks? About X, for example?

Karl: Only that I wish he'd stop using cliché’s which were old when Freddie Blassie was starting out. I think Lou Thesz heard some of the things X is using back when he won his first world title. Seriously, before he becomes any more generic, boring and clichéd, X should do himself and us a favour by developing his own personality.

DJ: Thanks again for coming in, Karl. It's been a pleasure to have you on The Total News Show, and good luck in your match against X.

Karl: And good luck to you if X decides to come calling.

[Both men laugh, as The Boomtown Rats "I Don't Like Mondays" starts playing. FADE OUT]