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Kids say the darndest things...


Sep 11, 1997
Katy, TX
"For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction"

- - - - - - - - - -

Houston, TX - May 26th, 2004 - 6:14 A.M.

A gray hue fills the air - a complete sunrise still at least half an hour away.

Cars hum as they drive by in the distance.

Birds chirp up above.

DAN RYAN sits outside among the mostly peace and somewhat quiet. The swing rocks gently as his feet move it slightly, stretched out to full length in front of him.

A long week is behind him, ahead of him still and fully in his presence among it all.

Ryan: "It's been one hell of a long week for me."

"Professionally all is rosy and nice. The World title still sits snug around my waist. I haven't lost a match in months."

"However, sometimes the real world bites you in the ass and gives you a case of the blahs that you just can't shake."

"Lately there's been a general malaise come upon me."

"Maybe it's the hectic schedule I've taken on."

"Maybe it's setting a goal of defeating Windham and Southern and accomplishing it - and having nothing to continue on to, nothing to look forward to that's causing it all."

"Maybe Mark Windham was right."


"Well, I wouldn't say that."

"The passion for the sport remains."

"In fact, very little of it has to do with what takes place in the ring at all. And yet, every bit of it does."

"What does that mean?"

"I don't really know."

"Within the last two months I've faced Hornet, Shane Southern and Tom Adler and walked out still the best the company has to offer."

"Elsewhere I've faced Christian Sands, someone I'm so well acquainted with we could practically predict each other's next move - and beaten him as well."

"I've represented myself and my status on a supercard in a promotion I don't even work for - and happily given the rub to a local boy in the long tradition of the business."

"As always, with no issue at stake - the right thing to do."

"I've broken down the wall between not only this company, but companies such as NFW, GWE, EPW and others - and A1 Entertainment - again seeking out new challenge."

"I've done everything I've said I would do and then some."

"I told everyone that I would be precisely where I am today."

"I told the world that Shane Southern was DAMN good - but not good enough to take this belt from me."

"I told the Intruders - to a man - that theirs was a losing battle. Much like the GXW invasion, it was doomed to fail."

"I've faced everyone I've been asked to face - defended this title on every Primetime or Showtime booked since I won the title."

"Tom Adler wanted a piece of the action, whether by calling in a favor or simply as luck of the draw."

"Unfortunately Tom, you didn't get the clean shot you wanted."

"Although it's hard to imagine that had not Eddie been involved, the Cutters wouldn't have come to the ring eventually anyway."

"Still, no one ever has to tell you again what it might take to put my shoulders down for the three count."

"And no one ever has to tell me what it will take to do the same to you."

"Quite the oppurtunity for scouting wouldn't you say?"

"But what does it lead me to?"

"More of the same."

"More of the 'I might be playing a mind game, I might not' - 'Don't underestimate me' and blah blah blah blah blah blah blah."

"More boredom, Tom."

"I don't mean to insult you. You've been one of the greats in the sport over a long period of time they say. Some call you one of the best ever. Some say you're formulaic, some say you're only great in your mind."

"But I've come to the point where it doesn't even interest me to try to figure it out anymore."

"You're so vanilla I'd rather you just shave a notch in your eyebrow, start doing some hokey pseudo-hip hop moves and just put an end to the outcry for you to just go all the way with it and end our agony already."

"It's like those final episodes of Moonlighting. We all knew - JUST KNEW - that Dave and Maddy were gonna get together for good."

"So here we are."

"One more match, Tom."

"Will the Diamond Cutters come down and put another shiny gold belt around the waist of Tom Adler?"

"Does the world even want to know?"

"I hear the match was clipped for television."

"How does that make you feel, Tom?"

"How do you think it makes ME feel?"

"I had a match with Mark Windham last year that was unanimously voted match of the year."

"Another against Shane Southern in New Frontier had the building literally shaking from the crowd in the place."

"And yet here I am headlining against Tom Adler - and they clip our match in favor of Tsunami-Randalls."

"That was a hell of a show, don't you think? You'll get no arguments on that from me."

"But the underlying truth, Tom is that no one gives a crap about Tom Adler anymore - not me, not the fans, not anyone."

"In a way Eddie Mayfield is doing us and the world all a big favor."

"Eddie might be 'heeling his ass off', but he's more popular than just about anyone's been in this company in a long time?"

"Who can connect with the fans more?"

"Tom Adler, who talks like he's the next coming of the FIRST coming of a classic, basic heel in the 21st century or a guy like Mayfield who manages to keep the owner of the company outside the building all night, denied access to witness HIS show and manages to single handedly become the only entertaining part of a main event not even deemed worthy enough to show all of."

"So, Tom - where's the money at?"

"With you? Or with Eddie Mayfield?"

"Would I lose the belt to him? We'd have to find that out for ourselves. As always, I'm supremely confident in what I'm capably of."

"But at least if I did lose that belt, I'd go out with a bang."

"This alone piques my curiosity, because only in popping that crowd - only in facing challenges worth my time - can I truly move forward as a champion."

"The time for looking to the past is over. Maybe our owner is right."

"If I have to be a d**k about this, I can. I have no problem with that. If I have to break legs, bust some teeth out, tear some ligaments - whatever it takes - to put myself and this belt in a position where I can do what needs to be done, I will."

"I'll do what I always do when I'm put in a position I don't particularly care for."

"I'll take matters into my own hands."

"If Eddie Mayfield knows what's good for his immediate future, he'll make sure he isn't anywhere near the ring this week."

"And if you know what's good for you, you'll make sure you have plans for after Showtime that don't involve anything to do with the World title."

"The era of Vanilla Tom and the Adlerettes is over."



Pressure Chief
Jan 1, 2000
SHOWTIME ain't worth MY time

(FADEIN: To a hotel suite somewhere, and 'Hot Property' EDDIE MAYFIELD, sitting on the edge of the bed in a plush hotel robe, his hair mussed, and a Camel hanging out of his face. He's looking over the instructions to a MEDAL OF HONOR game whos box is laying in a shedded skin of plastic wrap next to him. The CSWA Presidential belt rests on a pillow behind him)

MAYFIELD: (Scanning the CD cover) "Yunno, I LOVE technology. That means, I can check my email on my PDA from an airport, I can play a SNES-perfect rendition of Metroid in the palm of my hand on the toilet, or I can even play this game that needs more freakin' hard drive space to run then I knew existed back in 1994. Who would think that 10 gigabytes wasn't enough? (Smiles) Now I have a 400 gigger in the Farneheit 451 Laptop those eggheads at Alienware made for me that I keep in my travel bag, and I still need to swap out some games. I guess that means that either I need to pare down my game playing, huh? Because it seems... like I have a lot of games. (Thinks) Must mean I PLAY a lot of them. (Pauses) I play alot then. Sounds kinda like what some of the boys in the back say about Eddie Mayfield, your president and despot for life. "That Eddie, he sure likes to play".

(MAYFIELDS face gets dead serious)

"Well listen, Ryan. What I'm doing in that ring may look like fun, but it's no game and YOU know that. Yeah, the crowd likes to watch Eddie frustrate ya'll for fun and profit - and I applaud you for figuring out on your schoolyard swing set that Eddie Mayfield ain't bulls[BLEEEP!] with any of you. When the Intruders got killed by MY HANDS... that marked a turning point inside me. It meant that the only person I could trust... was Eddie Mayfield. That GUNS wasn't gonna be there to pull me out of the water... that even my boy Craig Miles has his OWN sh[BLEEEP!] to deal with, and if I want to prove to myself and the world that I am, indeed, what I say I am, the HEADLINER of this sport, then I must be THE BEST at everything I touch. Micwork? Swish. Ring Psych? A+. Wrestling? Hey, I'm nothing to sneeze at. And at the first edition of E! Television, I went out there and RAN THIS FU[BLEEEP!] SHIP like Russell Crowe in Master and Commander. Adler? He's somewhere hiding in the back, counting chickens feet and moving ouija boards to conjure up some sort of reply to this.

This wasn't supposed to happen this way, right? Eddie Mayfield was just supposed to sit in the back and watch people like you waltz in here and be the Cornerstone. But naw, I'm not having it, Ryan. Because every move I make has a reason. Chad Merritt? Merritt doesn't even wanna talk about me because he knows he can't control me. I'm the person in the family who shows up at the holiday function, and everyone politely smiles around, just hoping... PRAYING he doesn't say anything that will make someone uncomfortable. I'm Eddie Mayfield, the HEADLINER of this company, and I make all of you nervous. It doesn't matter what Merritt thinks, or Lord of the Flies Hornet, or any of those ass[BLEEEP!] in the back think, they can't burn me. I'M TOO NICE. (Smiles) And it's only a matter of time before it all comes to a huge, pus-filled head Wether I pop that boil on YOUR head or someone elses, it doesn't matter to me... maybe. (Raises a curious eyebrow!)

And that brings us to SHOWTIME. You and Adler have a rematch. Congratulations. Ryan, you don't want me meddling in your match? (Waves his hands dismissevely) Yunno what? Be my guest. I won't EVEN bother to show up in New Orleans, because frankly, I don't even want to be in a town that had anything to do with creating Shane Southern. You guys have your nice little slapfight, but I'll tell you ONE thing though... I WILL be watching.

... Let the games begin."

(FADEOUT as MAYFIELD blows a huge cloud of smoke out of his nose and smiles wickedly.)


Sep 11, 1997
Katy, TX
"... Let the games begin." - Eddie Mayfield

FADE IN - no hoopla - Just DAN RYAN's face on the screen and not much room left on either side for anything else....

Ryan: "Short and sweet, Eddie...."

"I wouldn't have this any other way....."

Exceedingly wide grin.....



League Member
Apr 16, 2004
Ya know, Dan, I have to tell ya that I honestly expected better out of you than this.

Maybe I shouldn't. And, for the life of me, I really can't give you a good reason WHY I expected more. I just did.

At any rate, since you seem to have this issue grasping the reality of your role in all of this, let me clue you in a bit.

Our match had all the ingredients necessary for a channel flipper.

Take one part legend who gets a title shot he didn't ask for.

Mix in a dab of a federation owner who never wanted to see him with the strap to begin with.

Throw in a heaping portion of would be champion who'd just come off a series of the most UN-inspiring title defenses in federation history.

And top it all off with a funny but utterly predictable "official" and you have the perfect recipe for Stir Fried Screw Job.

Don't blame me if the producers realized that before you did.

At any rate, I didn't come on here to insult you, Dan. I have better things to do with my time.

While I would have hoped that you might at least give a nod to the guys who saved YOU from wearing butt shaped crown before you got out of there, I doubt any of us will lose sleep that you didn't.

I'll just leave you with this. If it's a little more excitement that you're looking for, I'll be more than happy to oblige.


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