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Kooter Michaels-Cruise


League Member
Jan 1, 2000
Boston and other places.
Kooter Michaels-Cruise
350 lbs

Music – “The Con” by Tegan and Sara

Appearance – I’m thinking a good Abyss facsimile.

Disposition – Face?

Ring attire – Luchadore style happy face mask with holes cut out for the eyes and mouth (El Arco Iris tribute), long, greasy, white hair coming out of the back and sides…wrestles in decoratively colored old school Sandman style parachute pants…electrical tape around his arms, big ****ing black boots. Wears a big ****ing blue cape on the way to the ring.

Ring Entrance – Video montage of freaky art-house footage of purple, black, and green water sloshing around, crossed with the occasional shot of Kooter wrecking somebody… Kooter walks down slowly, cracking his knuckles and rubbing his fists, grunting and snarling a lot…Then he curls up into a little ball in the corner biting his fingers, or he bangs his head against the turnbuckle, or screams nonsense words at people…Unless his opponent is already in the ring. Then he just rushes the dude.

Hometown – The Neon Grey Institute of Mad Science

Death Valley Driver
Big Boot
Big Clothesline..
Press Slam
Big Splash of the second rope (Vader Style)
Lifting chokehold
Russian back breaker
Full-nelson Bomb
Reality Check
Electric chair bomb

Big Finisher - CoatHanger Abortion – Black Hole Slam


– Power/Presence (He’s been genetically engineered to be absurdly strong and big. Also, he no sells like a mother ****er. He even no sold death.)
– Blinded by hate (He’s actually only about two years old, so all he knows is that he hates everybody, and therefore can do nothing but beat the living **** out of them. whenever the opportunity presents itself…so he doesn’t lack focus.)
– Surprisingly quick for a really big dude.

- Retarded (He can barely talk, much less read or do math or anything. He’s gotten a little smarter, in that he can sort of function in civilized society without his handlers telling him what to do all the time. But he’s still real stupid…most of the time. Sometimes he gets really smart for no reason, which brings us to our next weakness…)

- Total lack of adaptability/hopelessly insane (he’s uh, well, yeah, hopelessly insane. Also, he has NO understanding of technical wrestling, or anything about wrestling, really. He just crushes stuff. Very Hulk smash.)

- Hideously deformed (he’s mostly purple, as his skin didn’t get time to develop right. I haven’t decided what’s under the mask yet.)

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