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Lance the Lush


New member
Jul 8, 1998
Sierra Vista, Arizona
[updated:LAST EDITED ON Aug-25-02 AT 04:23 AM (EDT)](As the scene opens up the shot shows ‘Good God’ Kevin Powers standing in front of a PLR backdrop with a new T-shirt on … ‘Love bites, Ice melts, but PLR last FOREVER!’)

KP: Fish Fund. Seems like a distant memory doesn’t it? Sure it was the Windham story once again part 26543584 and anyone who thinks they are SOMEONE trying to get a lockjaw on the situation.

Had to clear your throat GUNS? You had Powers stuck in your throat? And to think I thought it was someone else all together. Maybe if you cough again you might cough up a furball, Merritt, your car keys, Mayfield, Kiki the rodent, Miles, or even a stale piece of PI! But, seriously, can you do that off-camera nextime cause … that was pretty nasty. Disgusting really, but thanks for letting us know that whenever you cut a promo you don’t forget to pack your gay bag and bring it along.

Now as much as we would like to hear you say something like someone has eight inches on you … I really don’t care to talk about that right now. Instead … I would rather talk about another sucker punchin’ bitch by the name of ‘I’m gonna lose my’ Lance ‘In Orlando’ Liezure.

Didn’t you understand Lance? Didn’t you, for one moment out of your pathetic life, understand that I didn’t give a squirt of urine about you? Didn’t you figure that out when you called me out time and time again until you got blue in the face? I mean … how much more of a hint do you need? I attacked you in your match with Logan, but it wasn’t because I wanted to get at you. It was because you just happened to be in the ring place at the wrong time. We had a plan going and that was obviously the reformation of the NEW PLR and you … oh poor pathetic you … just happen to be the lamb at the sacrificial slaughter.

I almost feel sorry for … oh wait … the moment is over. Now I don’t feel sorry for you.

Now I would say that you were more ignorant than Lawrence Stanley himself, but then again … is that even possible? Oh wait … I’m going off the subject, but when you see Stanley cutting a promo or walking the halls of CSWA you have to think to yourself … can ANYONE be more stupid than Stanley?

Well, there is one, but he’s too busy working on strapping a protein shake around his waist and calling it a world title. Made his arms big and strong. Also made him a laughing stock with all the ladies, but who ever said GUNS was ladies’ man?

Now where was I … small, pathetic, and not worth a piece of shhhhhhhhOH YEAH! Lance!

Now it was rather amusing seeing you bring your tart to Gainesville to make sure that the big bad PLR didn’t attack you from behind, but I think you forgot to notice one thing … WE WASN’T EVEN THERE! Did you think I actually cared about following you to one of your matches? I mean you were facing Flair! Now I was surprised that he didn’t send your ass through a table full of broken glass and thumbtacks, but I guess he saves that for the special people. Still, I know Flair and if he beat your ass then I KNOW you are MORE than ripe for the pickings considering what that man has gone through in the recent months.

I’m sure that you, Lance, feel that you need to make a name for yourself and I’m sure you are doing your best to follow others here by making a name for yourself by dogging me in the process. I’m sure it felt real good to make your little comments and whatnot. Hell I bet you got a HUGE laugh out of it. Well, sparky, I hope you was paying REAL close attention to Fish Fund because playing games … they’re over. This little running gag that GUNS and everyone else enjoys choking on … that’s over too. It’s real fun to TALK about stuff, but that’s all talk. People like Triple X, GUNS, Plett, and a host of others have talked and they’ve been heard, but you know who HASN’T been heard? Two former champions, Eddy Love and Steve Radder, haven’t been heard making reference to the ever-popular choke game. Instead, the only thing that was choking in that match was those two little slap happy bitches gagging on my boots and fist when I crammed’em down their respective throats!

So now I’ve got you. Sure GUNS wanted to tango with The Double G KP, but I don’t hook it up with midgets. Sure I’ll feed the little bastards beer, but that’s about it. So while he’s hookin’ up with Gradeus and E-5 tellin’em about the dream he had being six foot tall … it’ll be you and I havin’ ourselves a GOOD GOD TIME IN ORLANDO!

Now I understand that you don’t drink and how pissy you got in your pants when you heard about the stipulation I wanted for the match so … tell ya what … how about I DROP that stip and we’ll just throw down one on one? That make ya feel better? We’ll just have ourselves an old-fashioned one on one match where you’ll be you … boring as you can be and I’ll be myself slappin’ you around like the boring bitch that you are in MY RING!

Now, if you don’t mind, I have more important things to think about.

Try not to cry, but if you do hide your tears cause I know you’re gonna blubber like GUNS ...

That’s right … like a little man-bitch.


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