Radio Gaga? Or Radio Blah Blah? It's Radio ENTERTAINMENT!
* Mr. Entertainment RP#2 for C10.
(((FADE IN to Mr Entertainment sitting in a radio studio waiting patiently for an interview to start. He’s dressed as we’d expect of the man: his leather jacket is slung casually, yet smartly, over the back of the chair; he’s wearing a New ERA Primetime T-shirt featuring a promotional shot of himself and Fanatic; he’s also wearing smart, dark-blue jeans with a replica New ERA Championship belt buckle; and finally, he’s got the New ERA Championship belt over his right shoulder. There’s a new track from Lady Gaga playing on the airwaves, and as it starts to FADE AWAY, the presenter OPENS THE MIC… and begins)))
DJ: When I heard it in the office I thought that was Pink, but looking at the picture – it’s Lady Gaga, taken from her upcoming album,
Born This Way, and that was
Edge of Glory! KBBL, the web’s home of great music. One man who’s certainly not on the edge of glory is my guest today on KBBL, a man who needs no introduction but is going to get one anyway. He’s a wrestling superstar, a man who some would say is totally arrogant in New ERA but you’ve got to admit he has a right to be arrogant – it’s the Battle Brawl champion, the reigning New ERA Champion, Mister Entertainment!
ME: Pretty good. Ya do this fer a livin’, don’t ya?
(((he laughs)))
DJ: Just a little, yeah. It’s good to have you on the show, yadda yadda, all pleasantries aside, how’re you feeling? We’ve seen you on New ERA Cyberstrike, and you’ve had a lot going on this season. You must be getting tired.
ME: ME?
Mister Entertainment?
Nah. Far from it. Not everyone can go out on Cyberstrike, win the title, defend it the next two straight weeks, have a statue destroyed, get challenged by Fanatic, wrestle what came close ta feelin’ like a handicap match, an’ still be lookin’ at headlinin’ Primetime in just a couple o’ week as the New ERA Champion. But I can. It’s what I do.
DJ: And you’ve done it really well. It feels like just yesterday you were beating Cameron Cruise in your first title defence!
ME: Nah, tha’s just the de ja vu since Cruise always seems ta be around.
DJ: I think I saw his face on a bench the other day now you mention him. Right before a fat guy fell on it and nearly broke the bench.
ME: Now, can I stop ya? The guy has a condition.
DJ: More calories in than out?
ME: The fat guy? Probably. But I was talkin’ about Cruise.
DJ: Sorry.
ME: I mean, if ya look a’ things since the start o’ season 1, he’s tried damn near everything ta make himself stand out. He’s talked and talked and talked, said how he’s much better than ME
Mister Entertainment
Despite the facts showin’ otherwise. He’s made a total jackass of himself tryin’ desperately ta make himself look like a player, look like the top dog, an’ all he’s done is shown himself ta be an utter embarrassment! He’s got some need ta lie, I guess. Glory-hogs tend ta do tha’.
DJ: You’ve been accused of being a glory hog yourself.
ME: Yeah, but I’ve always backed it up. Season 1, I beat Cruise, I beat Fanatic, I beat Montgomery, an’ earned a shot at the New ERA Championship. Battle Brawl, I talked the talk an’ walked the walk straight ta the Battle Brawl trophy an’ another banked title shot. An’ against Shawn Hart, when others’d talked abou’ beatin’ him fer the title?
I actually beat him. Man ta man. Face ta face. He saw it comin’ – and he was powerless ta stop ME
Mister Entertainment
From becoming the King of
my New ERA.
As powerless as Cam’s gonna be at Cyberstrike, an’ as powerless as Fanatic’s gonna be at Primetime.
DJ: I’m glad you brought that up, because you do have to beat Cameron Cruise before you face Fanatic. I know you’ve done that twice already, three times if you count Battle Brawl, but anything can happen in the ring, right?
ME: Nope. See, that’s a fallacy, right there. As much as some jokers might want ta think tha’ anyone can beat anyone any given day o’ the week, the fact is that doesn’t happen, not on skill alone. Not on heart alone. Hell, look a’ this season. I got DQ’d against Chaos, an’ Johnny-boy got beat in the tag. Go back another season, First walked ou’ on a tag match, an’ Druid needed his gang o’ thieves ta help him. Any time someone has faced ME
Mister Entertainment
One on one in a fair fight, there’s been only one outcome. Chaos, he came damn, damn close ta getting the belt, no doubt about that, never said otherwise, but the cold hard truth is he walked outta the ring tha’ night without what counts. He walked out with the New ERA Championship, an’ he’s ten, twenty times the man Cameron Cruise is.
DJ: Cruise does look determined.
ME: Ta make an ass of himself again? The guy is livin’ so far in the damn past it’s a miracle he ain’t wearin’ shoulder pads an’ flares! He probably thinks it’s the nineteen eighties, he’s like a stuck record.
DJ: Well he did say
ME: (((interrupting))) wait, ya mean ya actually watched what he had ta say?
DJ: You didn’t?
ME: Cruise hasn’t changed his M.O. in so damn long I gave up watchin’. I’ll guess… he mentioned… New ERA in the time Before Mister Entertainment, i.e., back before WFW New ERA?
DJ: Yeah.
ME: He’s claimed he’s his own man, despite the fact the only reason he’s in this match in the first place – pardon the pun – is because he an’ the Wrestling Bieber thought they could make somethin’ o’ themselves by gifting Cruise a shot tha’ anyone else on the roster would go through hell fer?
DJ: Not in so many words.
ME: He’s still spoutin’ his corny catchphrase, despite the fact that it went out of fashion with Charlie Sheen’s sobriety?
Let’s guess – Cameron Cruise maybe even mentioned the fact that he’s tougher than a cardboard cut-out? Quoted an’ 80’s film, perhaps?
DJ: You sure you didn’t watch it?
ME: Yeah, I’m sure that I didn’t waste my time on him. It’s just the same damn routine he’s been going through since Cyberstrike 1 – the time that actually counts! Hell, when he last challenged fer the belt and mentioned that he’d once beaten ME
Mister Entertainment
For the TV title, and claimed he’d been the leader in the little tango we seem ta be in, I showed without doubt –
without doubt – that
everything he claimed ta have done first, he’d done after ME
Mister Entertainment.
The fact tha’ you can say with a straight face tha’ he went on about it
again shows a lot abou’ Cameron Cruise. It really does. It shows Cruise is stuck in the past. He’s stuck in ancient history. Everything I’ve said about him, from Cyberstrike 1 ta now, I could say about him again, and it’d still be true. I’ve moved with the times; I have
become New ERA. I’ve
embraced the New ERA. I’m carrying it on my shoulders and doin’ something Cruise has shown himself totally incapable of.
Focusing on New ERA for the glory of New ERA. Cam? Hell, didn’t he say before the tag match he’s won dozens of battle royals? I thought we’d only had one!
That’s the problem with Cam. He’s
everywhere, an’ nowhere, baby.
DJ: That’s where he’s at!
ME: Glad ya spotted the set up. Cruise, he’s focused on Cameron Cruise. ME?
Mister Entertainment?
I’m focused on building
my New ERA. I’m focused on positioning New ERA as the pinnacle of wrestling, sport, and ENTERTAINMENT.
I want that fat slob ya saw squattin’ on Cam’s face ta get off his fat ass, stop swallowing the crap spewing from Hollywood, an’ know what real drama, real emotion, real ENTERTAINMENT… is. Cam wants this belt o’ mine so he can be champion. New ERA needs this belt ta be around my waist, on my shoulder, when I leave the arena because right now only I have the desire ta make New ERA the greatest it can be, and the skills ta hold the belt until the edifice is so strong that nothing can knock it down.
DJ: But what if The First interferes? There’s pretty good odds on that happening.
ME: That’s the only chance Cruise has of beating ME
Mister Entertainment.
But if First does show up, I’m prepped. I’m ready. I’ve been sayin’ since Cruise “earned” his title shot tha’ I’m ready fer whatever those two have planned. They’re both spineless, gutless cowards. An’ fer Cruise, that’s a huge step backwards. Cyberstrike 1, Battle Brawl, he was better than he is now. His mouth still cut reality checks tha’ he just can’t cash.
DJ: Unlike you. From the first match you two had this year it’s been like watching night and day!
ME: Yeah. See, Cam
thinks he’s the star. He
thinks he’s great. He
says he’s great, but throughout New ERA history – and yeah, I’ll go back to the time Before Mister Entertainment, before season 1 – who took the bull by the horns and backed it up?
ME
Mister Entertainment.
I had epic matches. I didn’t sit back an’ wait fer things ta happen, I made them happen, on my own, with my own skills. People said I’d be out by the end of the year, an’ yet – years on – I’m building New ERA into the greatest promotion on the planet, while the so-called “big-shots”, the Cameron Cruise’s, Jonathan Marx’s, Larry Tact’s, even though they’re still in New ERA, they’re nothin’ but the also-rans, the extras to
my show. It must suck fer those guys ta know that fer all their talk, their shows got cancelled.
DJ: You sound confident that you’re definitely going to be the one going to Primetime to defend the New ERA Championship.
ME: Damn straight. Cruise has said before he’s in the best shape of his career, he probably said something like that this time, he probably said he
needs the New ERA Championship,
needs the belt, is
hungry fer the weight of gold – but he’s all talk. I
am in the best shape of my life. I
am the New ERA Champion. I don’t need the New ERA Championship ta make ME
Mister Entertainment
Great. The New ERA Championship needs ME
Mister… Entertainment.
An’ until someone shows up an’
earns a shot at
my title – until someone who’s worked their ass of in
my New ERA, this New ERA… this belt will stay in my possession.
DJ: Wow… we’re nearly out of time, but I think we can push back the next track. Hell, we’re already into the news!
ME: Ya didn’t keep good time, did ya?
DJ: My watch was made by Cameron Cruise I think. I want to talk about Fanatic a little, may as well take up all the news slot. Mike’s gonna be miffed but who cares, he dumped my sister.
ME: Okay, we’re strayin’. Fanatic, did ya say?
DJ: Sorry, yeah. What do you think about Fanatic? He’s not had much to say, but he’s in action this week alongside his brother, Larry. Are you going to be watching that match?
ME: Dave, I watch every match. I have watched every single match since Cyberstrike 1. Of course I’ll be watching! I need a laugh.
DJ: You’re not impressed with Fanatic?
ME: Fanatic, Larry Tact, whoever! The two of them together wouldn’t be able ta take the belt at Primetime!
DJ: He’s got a lot of focus with Larry in his corner.
ME: Yeah. He’s focused on keepin’ an eye on Tact fer when he finally strokes out. Fanatic, he’s the opposite o’ Cruise. Cruise is all talk, Fanatic is no talk. He’s probably thinkin’ he’s doin’ all his talking in the ring, but I’ve been in the ring with him twice this year. Once on Cyberstrike, an’ again a’ Battle Brawl. I wasn’t impressed then. I sent him a message a’ the last Cyberstrike, an’ he better be steppin’ up his game ta make this a challenge, because otherwise he’s out. He’s gone. He’s gonna be so damn embarrassed after Primetime tha’ he’ll never want ta be seen again.
Fanatic – my message ta you, this week, gettin’ ready fer Primetime. This is gonna be your shot at glory. Yer gonna be goin’ up against the New ERA Champion, no doubt about that. Cameron Cruise is
not good enough ta take this belt from around my waist, on his own or with help. You, at Primetime, ain’t gonna be good enough ta take this belt either. But you’ve got a chance – a chance ta show the world that you deserve ta be in
my New ERA. Give ME
Mister Entertainment
A challenge tha’ nobody else can, an’ you’ll walk away slightly less of a loser than ya currently are. Make it as easy as it was last time we squared off one-on-one, an’ you’ll prove tha’ the Tact Legacy, the Tact gene-pool, went a little heavy on the chlorine.
DJ: Cool. Well, I’m getting yelled at by the producer, thanks for Mister Entertainment for dropping by and talking about his upcoming title defences – yes, defences, because Cameron Cruise sucks. I’m Dave Jones, this is KBBL, the home of talk and music on the web, and I’ll be back, hopefully, after Katy Perry! Tune in to Cyberstrike on newera.ewzine.com, and to Primetime streamed LIVE!
(((CUE UP: “E.T.” by Katy Perry, remixed by Noisia. FADE OUT)))