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MAIN EVENT: World Heavyweight Championship Lumberjack Match - Republican v Marx (c)

TheOriginalSE

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All RP for the World Heavyweight Championship match between JONATHAN MARX (c) and PHANTOM REPUBLICAN at RAUCOUS should be done in this folder. Any RP posted outside of the folder will not count.

* This is a lumberjack match. Jean Rabesque, Shawn Hart, Daymon and Larry Tact are the lumberjacks.

The RP deadline is 11:59pm PST on FRIDAY, May 4th, 2007. Angles should be sent to secandido@san.rr.com ..
 

TH

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Re: MAIN EVENT: World Heavyweight Championship Lumberjack Match - Republican v Marx (c)

So it has come down to this, Marx. One final showdown before the huge, world-changing interpromotional pay-per-view event, an event that could only have been brought to us with the providence and economic good fortune that the Republican-controlled Congress had laid the groundwork for providing and the Democrat-controlled Congress of now hasn't screwed up yet. You, the Communist paper Champion, still holding my title belt in a charade concocted by the Moscow-San Francisco axis of socialist subjugation, and me, the noble, moral warrior, the man who has overcome everything that the world has put in front of me to regain that which I never should have lost in the first place.

Don't deny it, Marx. You know your time grows short. You know that you are a flash in the pan, especially after you let your Championship belt slip out of your grasp for that short while, a short enough while for the world to see what kind of fraud you really are. I saw you in your moment of weakness, and you're lucky you only slipped against the cross-dressing, effeminate wannabe rapper known as Shawn Hart. If that had been against a moral, Republican wrestler, a fine upstanding conservative citizen such as myself, you'd have faded away into obscurity by now.

But now, you are faced with the shiningest beacon of conservative light in the wrestling industry today. You are finally about to reap the fate you sowed when you made your little back alley, backdoor deal with Beau Michaels to steal my Championship away from me, when you needed to rely on the rage of the frog to keep me away from my title. You now shall meet your ultimate justice, and I am the judge, jury and executioner. There are no appeals to the liberal justice system. You can't take this to the Ninth Circuit Court and have it overturned. No, you shall meet your fate, and it shall be grim for you, but joyous for America.

You see, it's no coincidence that when you stole my title away from me, this country started to fall apart. It started with the Democratic control of Congress and then filtered down into trusted conservatives betraying our President on Iraq, and people consorting with a known terrorist for the Presidency. That's right people, don't think I'm not onto you and your support of that candidate with the terrorist sounding name.... those who vote Hilary Rodham Clinton shall rue the day they supported her and her jihad!

But all shall be right. Once I retake the New Era World Championship back to the Republican Party, things will look up. Trees will bloom brighter before they're cut down to make paper for our hard-working businessmen. The sun will shine brighter to give light to our oil riggers who give us energy. The people will rejoice enough to take back this country for the Right.

You have nowhere to run, Marx. Even with the lumberjacks outside the ring who hate me, they have one other feature about them. They despise you. And gentlemen, let me reach out to you. Even though we have our differences... an enemy of my enemy is a friend, at least for now. So Daymon, Tact, Hart... yes, even you... Rabesque... *shudder*... I extend the temporary olive branch. If you help me strip this cowardly Communist of his Championship, I shall show leniency on you. I'm still going defeat you in the name of the Republican Party, but I'll try not to maim you in the process.

For the spectre of Communism still looms great. Let us defeat it so we can make this country a great place for you, me, and maybe even the gays to live in.
 

PaulNJ21

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::Marx and Jacobs are sitting by a campfire under the stars after a day of training in the wilderness::,

::throws a coin up in the air and it comes up….::

JONATHAN MARX: Heads. Some people may say that the odds aren’t exactly in my favor at RAUCOUS.

BRANDON JACOBS: It does look awfully bad with Shawn Hart, the frenchie Jean Rabesque, Larry Tact, Rocko Daymon on the outside. The odds are stacked against you. You took Shawn Hart’s title, You made Rabesque’s life a living hell. You insulted Rocko Daymon and apparently Larry Tact too but I’m not sure how.

::throws a coin up in the air and it comes up…::

JONATHAN MARX: Heads. That doesn’t even begin to factor in my opponent Phantom Republican who still harbors a great deal of ill will for me beating him for his World Heavyweight Title and then the drumming I gave him in the rematch.

BRANDON JACOBS: It would seem that despite a few people throwing out the tern fraud, but it would seem to me that you are the straw that stirs the drink. What would they do if they weren’t all consumed with their hatred for you?

JONATHAN MARX: If that gap toothed headed hoe wants a piece of me, I’m more than willing to loosen a couple of more. I’ll give him a reason to have that lisp he has.

BRANDON JACOBS: Politicians are so vain.

::throws a coin up in the air and it comes up…::

JONATHAN MARX: Heads. Do you ever wonder why GOP couldn’t hold on the title when he was the one to finally do Rabesque in?

BRANDON JACOBS: Ego?

JONATHAN MARX: No, although he has an ego the size of Texas, but in order to be a successful champion, you have to know how to live in the wild. Nobody is going to come up in a suit and tie and lobby with you for a title shot, they are going to come after you like a grizzly bear and if you want to survive and keep your title, you are going to have to fight them to the death. That is why Shawn Hart and Jean Rabesque have always given me the most trouble, they are almost as grizzled as I am while GOP may have been able to get lucky and nail Rabesque right in the nose, but 95% of the time, he is going to wind up dinner. All we have to do is make sure he winds up the main course.

BRANDON JACOBS: Do you have a plan?

::throws a coin up in the air and it comes up…::

JONATHAN MARX: Heads. I have a plan that would make Doc Silver blush. I am going veto GOP’s title reign. I am going into the PPV as champion and there is nothing anyone can do to stop it.

FTB
 

PaulNJ21

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Re: MAIN EVENT: World Heavyweight Championship Lumberjack Match - Republican v Marx (c)



(Several hours Later on that night…)

::Marx and Jacobs are sleeping under the stars in their sleeping bags, while there is a rumbling in the bushes::

BRANDON JACOBS: ::wakes up startled and looks over at the bushes:: Jonathan, wake up, I think someone has stumbled across our camp site…

::an angered Jonathan Marx wakes up::

JONATHAN MARX: Someone in the match must have followed us up here, I’ll make him sorry he interrupted my rest.

::Marx emerges from his sleeping back in his formal pajamas and sleeping cap and walks over to the bushes::

JONATHAN MARX: I’m giving you to the count of three to get out of the bushes or I’m coming in after you…. ONE! TWO….

::all of a sudden a grizzly bear stands up on his hind legs and roars::

BRANDON JACOBS: OH MY GOD! A BEAR!

::Marx grabs his stock cap and throws it down to the ground::

JONATHAN MARX: COME ON! BRING IT!

::The bear charges Marx and he puts it in a side headlock and takes him down to the ground::

BRANDON JACOBS: Keep him there, I’ll go get the shotgun out of the car!

JONATHAN MARX: No, I can take care of him. I don’t want to kill him I don’t have to!

::Jacobs ignores Marx and goes to the car to get the shotgun::

::the bear managed to power his way back up this his feet and the bear is trying to power Marx down but Marx puts him in another side headlock and takes him down::

BRANDON JACOBS: I have the shotgun! Most likely I can get a clean shot off.

JONATHAN MARX: With your eye sight, I’m just as likely to be killed as the bear. Don’t point that damn thing at me!

::Marx rolls him over onto his back pinning him against the ground, Marx keeps his weight on him trying to keep him down::

BRANDON JACOBS: STAY ON HIM!

::the bear which out weighs Marx rolls and Marx gets up to avoid being crushed by the bears weight::

BRANDON JACOBS: I think you are just pissing him off. LET ME SHOOT HIM!

::the bear charges Marx and they lock up and this time the bear sweeps the leg of Marx causing him to fall on the ground::

::Jacobs cocks the gun::

JONATHAN MARX: DON’T SHOOT!

::Marx bonks the bear on the nose and he is able to get back up to his feet::

BRANDON JACOBS: For the love of god, be careful!

::the bear stands on his hind legs again and he tries to take a swipe at Marx, which he ducks and he locks him into a side headlock and takes him down to the ground::

JONATHAN MARX: I THINK I GOT HIM THIS TIME!

::Marx uses his legs to lock the bear’s leg and locks him in the Marxism and the bear bellows out in pain::

BRANDON JACOBS: BREAK HIS NECK!

JONATHAN MARX: NO, I THINK IF I KEEP THIS ON LONG ENOUGH THE BEAR WILL JUST PASS OUT!

BRANDON JACOBS: The bear isn’t going to pass out!

JONATHAN MARX: It has worked on bigger men than this bear! Come on you, son of *****!

::the bear is struggling, but he can’t escape and all of a sudden, his body goes limp::

BRANDON JACOBS: I think you got him.

::Marx breaks the hold, he makes sure the bear is out cold which he is::
JONATHAN MARX: I think our problems are over.

BRANDON JACOBS: Why didn’t you let me shoot him?

JONATHAN MARX: I’m saving to heavy artillery to keep Phantom Republican and Rabesque from becoming champion again. I only kill godless creatures.

FTB
 
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