TH
Active member
- Joined
- Jun 18, 2004
- Messages
- 2,953
- Points
- 36
- Age
- 42
- Location
- Philadelphia
- Website
- wallsofjerichoholic.blogspot.com
Fade into a CSWA set out on the beach in Montego Bay, Port of Call for the CSWA Cruise Ship. JA and Lollipop are there, JA in a summery lucha mask, a Hawaiian shirt, khaki shorts, flip flops and the CSWA Greensboro Championship draped over his shoulder and Lollipop in a black thong bikini and flip flops. JA holds a microphone to his face.
JA: Finally, at last, I have gold in the See-Ess-Dub! My lifelong dream, finally realized after three long... matches.
JA and Lollipop giggle.
JA: In all seriousness though, I've finally hit it big in the oldest, most respected wrestling company in the world not based out of Connecticut, but then again, they're not really a wrestling company anymore as much as they're Stephy-Bear's personal playground for fart and dick jokes that occasionally features a wrestling match that goes for longer than ten minutes.
But bitterness aside... I've finally got me a piece of the gold here, the Greensboro Championship. Now, the last guy who held it, you know, that Borinator dude who I beat at Anniversary to become the Champ, well, he held it for a very long time. However, how often did he defend the title? Seriously, he beat Boogie Smallz and didn't do much else. And I'm not putting down Dr. Boogenstein here, but I mean, it's not that hard to hold a title for 20 months or whatever and only have like one or two title defenses. Small sample size, that sort of thing.
Now, far be it from me to sit here in BEAUTIFUL Montego Bay and just lambast someone for being a hermit crab of a Champion. Nope, I won't do it, I won't sit here and call Rabesquedor a lazy sack of broken sea shells or say that he likes the feel of a moustache against his taint as he's getting his testes mouth-washed by a manwhore named Stefan. Nope, not going to stoop to that level.
What I will do though is make a promise to Big Stevie Fool, Miss Melons McGinnis, everyone on this roster and most importantly, the fans of the See-Ess-Dub. I'm going to bust my ass to make sure that the Greensboro Championship is not only one of the most prestigious titles in this company, but in the sport as well. And I will do that by defending this strap night-in, night-out. Every time there's a CSWA show, I will be there, defending this title with the honor that's accorded to it. I may not hold it for 20 months doing it that way, but God-damn it, I will make it the one title everyone wants.
I will defend it against not only the schlubs of the world who are looking to get their first gold either. No freakin' way. I don't want it easy. I want to face everyone, the Mark Windhams, the Steve Radders, the Dan Ryans, hell, I'll even throw Anger-bot a bone and give him a shot if he wants it.
And I'm gonna start on this cruise. Most people go on cruises for a vacation. Not me. I'm coming here to work. And work I will. I'm going to defend this title on that ship, I'm going to defend it on land, in the arenas and stadia of the world. Hell, I'll defend it anywhere the See-Ess-Dub wants me to and then some.
Of course, I'm also going to find this hacker on the cruise, but that's for another set of segments altogether.
But as God is my witness, anyone who wants a shot at this baby, step right up.
Because I'm gonna have fun knocking you down.
JA and Lollipop smile as the camera zooms out to get a shot of the whole beach and the cruise liner as the scene fades to the CSWA logo.
JA: Finally, at last, I have gold in the See-Ess-Dub! My lifelong dream, finally realized after three long... matches.
JA and Lollipop giggle.
JA: In all seriousness though, I've finally hit it big in the oldest, most respected wrestling company in the world not based out of Connecticut, but then again, they're not really a wrestling company anymore as much as they're Stephy-Bear's personal playground for fart and dick jokes that occasionally features a wrestling match that goes for longer than ten minutes.
But bitterness aside... I've finally got me a piece of the gold here, the Greensboro Championship. Now, the last guy who held it, you know, that Borinator dude who I beat at Anniversary to become the Champ, well, he held it for a very long time. However, how often did he defend the title? Seriously, he beat Boogie Smallz and didn't do much else. And I'm not putting down Dr. Boogenstein here, but I mean, it's not that hard to hold a title for 20 months or whatever and only have like one or two title defenses. Small sample size, that sort of thing.
Now, far be it from me to sit here in BEAUTIFUL Montego Bay and just lambast someone for being a hermit crab of a Champion. Nope, I won't do it, I won't sit here and call Rabesquedor a lazy sack of broken sea shells or say that he likes the feel of a moustache against his taint as he's getting his testes mouth-washed by a manwhore named Stefan. Nope, not going to stoop to that level.
What I will do though is make a promise to Big Stevie Fool, Miss Melons McGinnis, everyone on this roster and most importantly, the fans of the See-Ess-Dub. I'm going to bust my ass to make sure that the Greensboro Championship is not only one of the most prestigious titles in this company, but in the sport as well. And I will do that by defending this strap night-in, night-out. Every time there's a CSWA show, I will be there, defending this title with the honor that's accorded to it. I may not hold it for 20 months doing it that way, but God-damn it, I will make it the one title everyone wants.
I will defend it against not only the schlubs of the world who are looking to get their first gold either. No freakin' way. I don't want it easy. I want to face everyone, the Mark Windhams, the Steve Radders, the Dan Ryans, hell, I'll even throw Anger-bot a bone and give him a shot if he wants it.
And I'm gonna start on this cruise. Most people go on cruises for a vacation. Not me. I'm coming here to work. And work I will. I'm going to defend this title on that ship, I'm going to defend it on land, in the arenas and stadia of the world. Hell, I'll defend it anywhere the See-Ess-Dub wants me to and then some.
Of course, I'm also going to find this hacker on the cruise, but that's for another set of segments altogether.
But as God is my witness, anyone who wants a shot at this baby, step right up.
Because I'm gonna have fun knocking you down.
JA and Lollipop smile as the camera zooms out to get a shot of the whole beach and the cruise liner as the scene fades to the CSWA logo.