EastPrez
Pressure Chief
- Joined
- Jan 1, 2000
- Messages
- 392
- Points
- 0
(SFX: A shrill, piercing alarm! A tinny, robotic voice shrieks 'INTRUDER ALERT! INTRUDER ALERT!' as the screen shows a film-style countdown to one.)
(FADEIN: To footage from the AHO/MAYFIELD title match a few months back, Showing EDDIE MAYFIELD tearing into then-Champ EVAN AHO like a hot knife. FAST-FORWARD, to AHO getting the pin after his second Tiger Driver '91. CUT-TO: shaky Intruder-Cam footage of MAYFIELD limping into the locker-room, and getting an ovation from all the CSWA workers, and a quick shot of MERRITT, smiling like he just won a night alone with JLo, nodding his head!
CUTTO: EDDIE MAYFIELD, rocking a Frontiersman Beard, standing in front of a mirror in a bedroom, with a white dress shirt on, buttoning it, and popping the collar. MAYFIELD looks like he's been fighting, not sleeping, or both, with the everpresent Camel dangling from his lips. MAYFIELD leans over and picks up a tie, and starts tying a windsor knot.)
MAYFIELD: (Speaking to the camera through the reflection in the mirror) "Well, here I (BLEEP!)ing am. The man you wanted to see, the one the bookerman Merritt just NEEDS to have on TV to keep this ship floating, the Man of the Hour, Moi - 'MUST-SEE TV, Hot Property, and now... heh - Mr. MATCH OF THE YEAR', EDDIE MAYFIELD. (Smirks) You see, CSWA has a great way of showing how it cares about it's model wrestlers. You see how in my first MATCH OF THE YEAR against Evan Aho, Mr. Merritt felt it his duty to send the 103rd airborne and his second baby momma down to the ring to PREVENT the Intruders from procuring the CSWA World title. Merritt thought in his head that it would spike the ratings to see Me, Your Favorite Wrestler, walk out to that ring in my smooth-ass way, and steal the fu(BLEEEP!)ing show from under that stiff Aho's nose. Then what - GASP! Eddie Mayfield, as par the GOT-DAMN COURSE, SHOCKED AND AWED all of you idiots sitting in your own bodily waste because you're too lazy to get up from the couch - AMAZE at how it went down. Yeah, I'm the cool heel right? But the message board on HotProperty.com was blowing up over the raping I got that night. THEY know who the prime cut is around here, and now, I'm BACK. And as usual, the 'CSWA World Unified Whatever the f(BLEEP!) it says on those belts' Champions are being setup again for failure.
I'm not even gonna talk about that BULLSH(BLEEEEP!) that happened a little while ago with JJ Devile and his pu(BLEEEP!) a(BLEEEEEEEEEP!) Daniel-San kick that caught me from behind, and suckered my man Craig Miles, and trying to STEAL OUR F(BLEEEEEEP!) belts on National Television - but you see - you can't truss it - and you can't f(BLEEEP!) a f(BLEEEEEEEP!)er. JJ Deville, you're a funny dood. If they didn't keep you supplied with the gallon of K-Y liquid with the pump handle, I'd tell you to come worship at the AOE - The Altar of Eddie, just like our boy Shamon does, but I don't think I could use your kind around my camp. I used to think your little promos were cute - but since you touched me - you KICKED ME IN THE FACE! (Rubs his beard absentmindedly) and tried to STEAL WHAT I EARNED - I'mma have to cutcha. You show up in my air again, Deville, I'm gonna drop you on your f(BLEEEEEEEP!) head, and you're not gonna wake up.
(EDDIE finishes the knot and cufflinks, then puts on a nice tweed blazer, adjusting the sleeves. He looks pretty dapper, but out-of-character) "Now, let's talk about current events. Mr. Merritt, as usual, has decided to try and build us up to knock us down again. Now we're in a tagteam match against Troy Windham and Shane Southern, AND Craig got double-booked to wrestle 'Splinter Cell' Tom Adler. First things first.... Tom Adler - you know that me and you have unfinished business, and the time and place will be left up to the winds of fate - but dood - I'm warning you - you do NOT wanna see me now. You keep your Addams Family outta Craigs match, and you won't have to worry about me. But you pull some Mission Impossible 3 sh(BLEEEP!) and I'll drop outta the rafters on your ass like that lame Crow gimmick you had back in the nineties, and I'll whip that ass back to Ontario.
Shane Southern? You just WANT me to talk on you, huh? (Laughs, as he puts a square-cornered kerchief in his breast pocket) You'll see me in the ring - because you're not worth my audible gems right now.
Troy? Man, you've been burning up the tape lately, haven't you? Well, putting a cigarette in your mouth and standing in the surf don't make you hot. Trying to be witty like the Pros don't make you hot. That 'X' factor that the Pros got? That The Intruders got? YOU DON'T GOT THAT, and until you figure out how to rock THAT, you're just spinning your wheels, baby. (EDDIE puts on a smooth looking Tag Huer watch and peeps the face) Yo, I got someplace to be. I have some speeches to give to some notables, and you'll catch more of Must See at another time. But check this - The Pros are walking out of this match with the unit intact, and still as the TEAM TO BEAT. And when I call myself Mr. MOTY - that means that everything I bless is CANON. Troy/Shane and the Pros - that's money in the bank, CSWA. Watch as the Pros cash in them chips and then hit the town, the only way we know how - PROFESSIONALLY. (Smirks, and grabs his half of the Unified championship, and lovingly cradles it in the crook of his arm as he walks out the frame. FADE OUT)
(FADEIN: To footage from the AHO/MAYFIELD title match a few months back, Showing EDDIE MAYFIELD tearing into then-Champ EVAN AHO like a hot knife. FAST-FORWARD, to AHO getting the pin after his second Tiger Driver '91. CUT-TO: shaky Intruder-Cam footage of MAYFIELD limping into the locker-room, and getting an ovation from all the CSWA workers, and a quick shot of MERRITT, smiling like he just won a night alone with JLo, nodding his head!
CUTTO: EDDIE MAYFIELD, rocking a Frontiersman Beard, standing in front of a mirror in a bedroom, with a white dress shirt on, buttoning it, and popping the collar. MAYFIELD looks like he's been fighting, not sleeping, or both, with the everpresent Camel dangling from his lips. MAYFIELD leans over and picks up a tie, and starts tying a windsor knot.)
MAYFIELD: (Speaking to the camera through the reflection in the mirror) "Well, here I (BLEEP!)ing am. The man you wanted to see, the one the bookerman Merritt just NEEDS to have on TV to keep this ship floating, the Man of the Hour, Moi - 'MUST-SEE TV, Hot Property, and now... heh - Mr. MATCH OF THE YEAR', EDDIE MAYFIELD. (Smirks) You see, CSWA has a great way of showing how it cares about it's model wrestlers. You see how in my first MATCH OF THE YEAR against Evan Aho, Mr. Merritt felt it his duty to send the 103rd airborne and his second baby momma down to the ring to PREVENT the Intruders from procuring the CSWA World title. Merritt thought in his head that it would spike the ratings to see Me, Your Favorite Wrestler, walk out to that ring in my smooth-ass way, and steal the fu(BLEEEP!)ing show from under that stiff Aho's nose. Then what - GASP! Eddie Mayfield, as par the GOT-DAMN COURSE, SHOCKED AND AWED all of you idiots sitting in your own bodily waste because you're too lazy to get up from the couch - AMAZE at how it went down. Yeah, I'm the cool heel right? But the message board on HotProperty.com was blowing up over the raping I got that night. THEY know who the prime cut is around here, and now, I'm BACK. And as usual, the 'CSWA World Unified Whatever the f(BLEEP!) it says on those belts' Champions are being setup again for failure.
I'm not even gonna talk about that BULLSH(BLEEEEP!) that happened a little while ago with JJ Devile and his pu(BLEEEP!) a(BLEEEEEEEEEP!) Daniel-San kick that caught me from behind, and suckered my man Craig Miles, and trying to STEAL OUR F(BLEEEEEEP!) belts on National Television - but you see - you can't truss it - and you can't f(BLEEEP!) a f(BLEEEEEEEP!)er. JJ Deville, you're a funny dood. If they didn't keep you supplied with the gallon of K-Y liquid with the pump handle, I'd tell you to come worship at the AOE - The Altar of Eddie, just like our boy Shamon does, but I don't think I could use your kind around my camp. I used to think your little promos were cute - but since you touched me - you KICKED ME IN THE FACE! (Rubs his beard absentmindedly) and tried to STEAL WHAT I EARNED - I'mma have to cutcha. You show up in my air again, Deville, I'm gonna drop you on your f(BLEEEEEEEP!) head, and you're not gonna wake up.
(EDDIE finishes the knot and cufflinks, then puts on a nice tweed blazer, adjusting the sleeves. He looks pretty dapper, but out-of-character) "Now, let's talk about current events. Mr. Merritt, as usual, has decided to try and build us up to knock us down again. Now we're in a tagteam match against Troy Windham and Shane Southern, AND Craig got double-booked to wrestle 'Splinter Cell' Tom Adler. First things first.... Tom Adler - you know that me and you have unfinished business, and the time and place will be left up to the winds of fate - but dood - I'm warning you - you do NOT wanna see me now. You keep your Addams Family outta Craigs match, and you won't have to worry about me. But you pull some Mission Impossible 3 sh(BLEEEP!) and I'll drop outta the rafters on your ass like that lame Crow gimmick you had back in the nineties, and I'll whip that ass back to Ontario.
Shane Southern? You just WANT me to talk on you, huh? (Laughs, as he puts a square-cornered kerchief in his breast pocket) You'll see me in the ring - because you're not worth my audible gems right now.
Troy? Man, you've been burning up the tape lately, haven't you? Well, putting a cigarette in your mouth and standing in the surf don't make you hot. Trying to be witty like the Pros don't make you hot. That 'X' factor that the Pros got? That The Intruders got? YOU DON'T GOT THAT, and until you figure out how to rock THAT, you're just spinning your wheels, baby. (EDDIE puts on a smooth looking Tag Huer watch and peeps the face) Yo, I got someplace to be. I have some speeches to give to some notables, and you'll catch more of Must See at another time. But check this - The Pros are walking out of this match with the unit intact, and still as the TEAM TO BEAT. And when I call myself Mr. MOTY - that means that everything I bless is CANON. Troy/Shane and the Pros - that's money in the bank, CSWA. Watch as the Pros cash in them chips and then hit the town, the only way we know how - PROFESSIONALLY. (Smirks, and grabs his half of the Unified championship, and lovingly cradles it in the crook of his arm as he walks out the frame. FADE OUT)
