Mittens T. Cat
League Member
- Joined
- Jul 20, 2006
- Messages
- 109
- Points
- 0
A fat man wearing a bright yellow leisure suit from the era of disco is looking right at the camera. His eyes are brown and bloodshot and there's a blunt in his mouth. He's looking cool. Too cool to have sex with your mom, but not cool enough to have sex with your grandma. He looks like the type of guy that's willing to bury his face in a hairy vag as long as the price is right. A man's man. A Proper Party Animal. He's balding very badly but looks young enough to bang your sister in the face. I mean he looks young in the face enough to bang your sister... but he could bang your sister's face too, if she's into cocaine and zanny bars.
"Hi, I'm Chester Cheeseburger and I think each and everyone of you people in NFW are f**king pussies. Now, I know what you're thinking. You're thinking, "who the f**kin f**k is Chester God Damn Cheeseburger? Well let me tell you something about me: I wrestled all over Mexico, kicking beaner ass left and right. I beat Rey Mysterio Sr., a tranny and thirty midgets in the same wrestling ring! And now you're stupid league president, f**kin' Miles Blunder or some ****'s all-- 'Hey buddy, I'm gonna make you call yourself Chester Cheeseburger and you're gonna wear f**king underwear trunks with a picture of a cheeseburger right on your weiner.'
"Well guess what Miles, you cigarette smoking bastard? As soon as I save up enough money to go to Bosley and get some hair and then get some lyposuction, motherf**cker, I'm out of here. DID YOU HEAR THAT YOU STUPID SONOFAB*TCH!?! DID YOU HEAR THE F**KIN' WORDS FALL OUT OF MY MOUTH LIKE CRABS BEING SCRATCHED OUT OF JOE THE PLUMBERS PUBIC JUNGLE!?!"
He has to take a breather. He catches himself, unwraps a McDonalds Cheeseburger and bites the living **** out of it. It's down in two bites. He frowns. Ketchup drools from his lips.
"Do you see this face? ARE YOU *LOOKING* AT MY *STUPID. F**KING. FACE?* ...This is the face of the monster you created Miles, you stupid asshole. This is the face of the man who will become the greatest force this league, nay, world... will ever see. I'm the mother****er that's going to kill Kooter. I'm the FAT PIECE OF *SHHHHHHHHHHIT* THAT'S GOING TO RAPE YOUR MOTHER, MILES. I'M GOING TO RAPE_HER FOR WHAT YOU'VE DONE TO ME YOU F**KER!!!
"And you had the nerve to call your mother's new lover Chester Cheeseburger. You nazi bastard. The next time-- and I mean, the next time I see your dumb mug walkin' around all high and mighty, 'look at me I run a legitimate league now. No more dildoes!' I'm going to remind you that there's still a dildo around here Miles. And it's f**king me right now, by forcing me to go under the RING NAME OF CHESTER CHEESEBURGER!!!
"CRAIG MILES IS A HUMONGOUS DILDO WHO WON'T REMOVE HIMSELF FROM MY NOW GIANT, GAPING ASSHOLE`!!
"NOW YOU TELL ME YOU SONOFA***** IS THIS FAIR!?!? IS THIS FREAKING FAIR!?!"
Chester begins to sob like a b*tch but the camera fades faster than all hell.
"Hi, I'm Chester Cheeseburger and I think each and everyone of you people in NFW are f**king pussies. Now, I know what you're thinking. You're thinking, "who the f**kin f**k is Chester God Damn Cheeseburger? Well let me tell you something about me: I wrestled all over Mexico, kicking beaner ass left and right. I beat Rey Mysterio Sr., a tranny and thirty midgets in the same wrestling ring! And now you're stupid league president, f**kin' Miles Blunder or some ****'s all-- 'Hey buddy, I'm gonna make you call yourself Chester Cheeseburger and you're gonna wear f**king underwear trunks with a picture of a cheeseburger right on your weiner.'
"Well guess what Miles, you cigarette smoking bastard? As soon as I save up enough money to go to Bosley and get some hair and then get some lyposuction, motherf**cker, I'm out of here. DID YOU HEAR THAT YOU STUPID SONOFAB*TCH!?! DID YOU HEAR THE F**KIN' WORDS FALL OUT OF MY MOUTH LIKE CRABS BEING SCRATCHED OUT OF JOE THE PLUMBERS PUBIC JUNGLE!?!"
He has to take a breather. He catches himself, unwraps a McDonalds Cheeseburger and bites the living **** out of it. It's down in two bites. He frowns. Ketchup drools from his lips.
"Do you see this face? ARE YOU *LOOKING* AT MY *STUPID. F**KING. FACE?* ...This is the face of the monster you created Miles, you stupid asshole. This is the face of the man who will become the greatest force this league, nay, world... will ever see. I'm the mother****er that's going to kill Kooter. I'm the FAT PIECE OF *SHHHHHHHHHHIT* THAT'S GOING TO RAPE YOUR MOTHER, MILES. I'M GOING TO RAPE_HER FOR WHAT YOU'VE DONE TO ME YOU F**KER!!!
"And you had the nerve to call your mother's new lover Chester Cheeseburger. You nazi bastard. The next time-- and I mean, the next time I see your dumb mug walkin' around all high and mighty, 'look at me I run a legitimate league now. No more dildoes!' I'm going to remind you that there's still a dildo around here Miles. And it's f**king me right now, by forcing me to go under the RING NAME OF CHESTER CHEESEBURGER!!!
"CRAIG MILES IS A HUMONGOUS DILDO WHO WON'T REMOVE HIMSELF FROM MY NOW GIANT, GAPING ASSHOLE`!!
"NOW YOU TELL ME YOU SONOFA***** IS THIS FAIR!?!? IS THIS FREAKING FAIR!?!"
Chester begins to sob like a b*tch but the camera fades faster than all hell.