No, Seriously
((We open up once again in the home of Cameron Love. The number one contender for the NWL Television Title is sitting in his lovely leather recliner, wearing a white NWL T-shirt, blue jeans, and, of course, his pink heart-shaped sunglasses. ))
CAMERON LOVE: So I was sitting down to breakfast this morning, and I turned on the TV to catch all the promos and whatnot for the upcoming Combat, and it seems that I have quite a bit to listen to. Now, for those of you just tuning in and not really paying attention up until this point, I, the one and only Cameron Love, will be squaring off against Jarod Poe for his coveted Television Championship. Now, Jarod, you should know is rather...well, different. At least, that's what he'd have you believe. Now, this guy was an Army Ranger, so he's just GOT to be tough, right? And toughness, keep in mind, is NOT something that you come across very often in the wrestling business. (( short pause )) For those of you at home that run a slower pace, I'm being sarcastic. EVERYONE in this business has got to be tough to stay with it. So, Jarod? Throwing out that bit of your history isn't exactly making me quake in my boots.
LOVE: So it seems that Jarod isn't as unique as he seems, at least based on his supposed toughness. So, let's get further into Mr. Poe's personality. Let's see...
(( He pauses, thinking hard ))
LOVE: Ah yes, it seems he worships the Devil! Or a devil, or a demon, or the demon, or whatever. Take your pick, I'm sure. He worships some "Beast," and feels compelled to beat on people to appease this devil or demon or whatever. And he sits in candlelight, and goes on and on about sacrifices, and...well, let's see. How can I explain it to those of you who missed his segments? Hmm...let's see...
(( Love snaps his fingers suddenly. ))
LOVE: I know!
(( He leans in close to the camera and lowers his voice. ))
LOVE: (( waggling his fingers at the camera and speaking as one would to a newborn )) Boogey boogey boogey boogey....BOOGEY BOOGEY BOOGEY BOOGEY...
(( Love sits back, chuckling to himself ))
LOVE: Believe me, Jarod, you and your Beast have got me shaking in my boots. I mean, I can barely stand on my own two feet, I'm laughing so hard.
(( He chuckles again, then slips off the shades. ))
LOVE: Seriously, man. The candlelight, the talk of sacrifices and stuff like that...well, I just want to warn you that I'm not exactly impressed. If you want to give me a scare, if you want me to really start second-guessing my decision to come and face you in the ring, you're going to have to do it with your ability. And let's just say that I find that...wanting. You've talked a lot about discipline and self-control and putting limits upon yourself. You claim that it makes you a better person. But in my experience, the only person that sets limits for himself is the person that cannot possibly go any further than that. I don't have any of your vaunted self-control, because there IS NO LIMIT to how far a man of my talents can go. YOU may be content to pigeonhole yourself into some level that you..."ahem"..."will not"...as in "by choice"...go beyond, but I am going wherever I want to. Love is a wild and untamed thing, my friend. No one can stop him once he gets going. No one. Not some crazy ex-Ranger, and certainly not his imaginary best friend. Right now, Love is going, and he is going for something that he wants. This time, I'm not looking for a lady, but for an accessory. Your belt, Mr. Poe. I want it. And after Combat, I will have it. I would reconsider my plans to focus on someone else that night. Because in that ring in Queens, New York...
(( Love slides the shades back on ))
LOVE: You're going to find out that there's just too much Love for you to handle.
(( The camera pulls back and starts to fade away as Love begins to again wiggle his fingers in our direction, saying "Boogey boogey boogey" until we fade to black. ))