(Scene opens up outside a local metal bar. NWL interviewer Sara Darr is on the scene)
SARA - I've been sent here to gather some information on one of the NWL's newest wrestlers, the Distributor of Pain. After some research, I've discovered that he frequents this bar often with his friends. So, let's see if we can find him.
(She walks through the front door, where loud metal music is blaring. After walking around for a few minutes, she finds DoP sitting in a back booth with a friend of his. She approaches)
SARA - Mr. DOP. My name is Sara Darr, and I was sent by the NWL office. I was wondering if you would be willing to talk to me for a minute?
DOP - I thought I was going to be left alone on my days off.
SARA - I don't mean to bother you, but you are becoming quite infamous, and people would like to know more about you.
DOP - (looks at Sara with a disatisfied look on his face) Let's try to make this quick. Women annoy me...
SARA - Oh...um...*ahem* Well, I guess the first question I have is who is your friend here?
DOP - (stopping his friend before he begins to talk) Who he is is not important right now. So don't worry about it yet.
SARA - What do you mean by yet?
DOP - I told you to drop it. Heed my advice, woman.
SARA - (feeling a little uncomfortable) Ok...Your last two matches have ended with you being defeated-
DOP - I was never beaten. I had both matches well in hand. The only reason I technically lost was due to pussies attacking me from behind. First week was via chair shot, second week by baseball bats. It seems that people in the NWL have a thing for back-attacking. Would you attack me from behind, Sara?
SARA - N-no...
DOP - Good, because you are very beautiful. I'd hate to have to ruin that pretty face. Now, get with the next question.
SARA - (Feeling very uncomfortable) Uh...You made a comment that you would ruin the wedding of Hacker and Data if it would happen. Why would you do such a thing?
DOP - Those two make me sick. All that hugging and kissing ****. He has no place inside of a wrestling ring. He should be inside that house, and giving birth, because he's just one big blubbering vagina. After I beat his ass in the ring, I'm going to put a wedding dress on, and send him back to his hotel room. And if Jackoff Mulligan and Shamrock Picker show up, I'm sending them right to the hospital. You can leave now.
(Sara quickly gets up, and leaves the bar)