Yori Yakamo jr
League Member
"Smitty, you take a couple of months off to recharge you batteries and suddenly the world forgets about you."
"If by recharge your batteries, you mean spend all your time playing World of Yorcraft. And making an ill-conceived endorsement of Rudy Guliani."
"Don't you mean World of Warcraft?"
"Yori, I'm supposed to be the one asking you stupid questions I already know the answer to in order to allow you to exposit on them. Not the other way around."
INT. CASA DE YORI
Yori and Smitty make plans. God help us all.
YORI: Dammit, it is slip ups like these that ensure Rudy won't return anymore of my phone calls.
SMITTY: Well, that and your ill-conceived political ad.
YORI: It worked for Chuck and Huck.
SMITTY: Yori, Chuck Norris facts are fanciful and vaguely amusing to fat wannabe hipsters who spend all their time on the internet. Yorifacts are just...disturbing.
YORI: What, you mean like Yori Yakamo jr once had a half-ape baby in the future that came back in time and formed the superhuman team Y-Force.
SMITTY: Yes.
YORI: But it's true.
SMITTY: Except for the part where you ripped off the Cable origin story.
YORI: Well, it's more homage, but regardless, Joe Quesada can suck my in no way surgically enhanced penis. And it's multi pronged enough for all off his lawyers.
SMITTY: Charming.
YORI: But seriously Smitty, are we so fickle nowadays? I mean, all I did was give my only begotten robot sex clone to save these people from boring Jason Payne promos and Mike Manson wrestling matches. And all of a sudden, I might as well be on a milk carton for missing children with gigantic wangs.
SMITTY: That last part was definitely treading a line...somewhere. And maybe it is just well-established that you have a big penis, are the figurehead of a huge multinational religion, hit people in the head with dildos, travel through time, and occasionally win wrestling matches.
YORI: I don't think the glorificence of the LIGHT OF YORIOLOGY can be expliterated enough
SMITTY: I am gonna kill Hida for getting you that fake word of the day calendar for Christmas
YORI: But perhaps you are right. That is why I am branching out into computer games. The World of Yorcraft is taking the interweb by storm. A storm of sexiness, and mindless hours of mining for golden dildos.
SMITTY: I think your gameplay model is...flawed.
YORI: What every level you increase, I send you free porn.
SMITTY: Yeah, but it's from YORIlove.com. And not the popular sections.
YORI: You can't give away the good stuff for free. And there are no bad sections of YORIlove.com.
SMITTY: The FCC would seem to disagree, as probably do the creators of Tiny Toons Adventures.
YORI: Well, just wait till you reach level 60 and qualify for an epic mount.
SMITTY: You just send a Thai Hooker to their house.
YORI: Hey, don’t knock the epicness of mounting Yori brand Thai Hookers. I can attest they are 100% awesome and 84% disease free.
SMITTY: Somehow I feel like reversing those numbers might up satisfaction. And decrease lawsuits.
YORI: We’ve pledged to get it to 90% by the end of the fiscal year.
SMITTY: I’m sure that will be comfort to all the herpes infected leve 60 paladins.
YORI: Allegedly herpes infected paladins, Smitty. And I ****ing hate paladins.
SMITTY: We know.
YORI: But all in all 2008 is looking up for Yori, probably cause the year is shaped like a woman on her side with two boobs..or two vaginas. Which would also be awesome.
SMITTY: You are a disturbing man, Yori.
YORI: And who knows, I may even be tempted back into the squared circle for MARCH OF DESTINY III: THE QUADRILOGY CONTINUES….or are we up to four now?
SMITTY: Does it really matter?
YORI: No, I got billz to pay.
SMITY: Is Miles even returning your phone calls.
YORI: Not since I told him I’d be at the arena in fifteen minutes. As it turns out, I was tied up in the year 4040 by the spider queen of Pluto. Things got ugly…than they got sexy. But not with the Spider queen. But with her half-breed daughter. Who also coincidentally had two vaginas.
SMITTY: So you think Miles will let you back in, now?
YORI: You can’t keep a good pervert down. And after all, god knows someone has to stop Nova’s reign of terror, right? He’s still champion, right?
SMITTY: I have no idea.
YORI: Oh well, someone needs to pay the Cerebral Cocksassin, it might as well be NFW. Cause Dan Ryan has Caller ID now. The ****er.
"If by recharge your batteries, you mean spend all your time playing World of Yorcraft. And making an ill-conceived endorsement of Rudy Guliani."
"Don't you mean World of Warcraft?"
"Yori, I'm supposed to be the one asking you stupid questions I already know the answer to in order to allow you to exposit on them. Not the other way around."
INT. CASA DE YORI
Yori and Smitty make plans. God help us all.
YORI: Dammit, it is slip ups like these that ensure Rudy won't return anymore of my phone calls.
SMITTY: Well, that and your ill-conceived political ad.
YORI: It worked for Chuck and Huck.
SMITTY: Yori, Chuck Norris facts are fanciful and vaguely amusing to fat wannabe hipsters who spend all their time on the internet. Yorifacts are just...disturbing.
YORI: What, you mean like Yori Yakamo jr once had a half-ape baby in the future that came back in time and formed the superhuman team Y-Force.
SMITTY: Yes.
YORI: But it's true.
SMITTY: Except for the part where you ripped off the Cable origin story.
YORI: Well, it's more homage, but regardless, Joe Quesada can suck my in no way surgically enhanced penis. And it's multi pronged enough for all off his lawyers.
SMITTY: Charming.
YORI: But seriously Smitty, are we so fickle nowadays? I mean, all I did was give my only begotten robot sex clone to save these people from boring Jason Payne promos and Mike Manson wrestling matches. And all of a sudden, I might as well be on a milk carton for missing children with gigantic wangs.
SMITTY: That last part was definitely treading a line...somewhere. And maybe it is just well-established that you have a big penis, are the figurehead of a huge multinational religion, hit people in the head with dildos, travel through time, and occasionally win wrestling matches.
YORI: I don't think the glorificence of the LIGHT OF YORIOLOGY can be expliterated enough
SMITTY: I am gonna kill Hida for getting you that fake word of the day calendar for Christmas
YORI: But perhaps you are right. That is why I am branching out into computer games. The World of Yorcraft is taking the interweb by storm. A storm of sexiness, and mindless hours of mining for golden dildos.
SMITTY: I think your gameplay model is...flawed.
YORI: What every level you increase, I send you free porn.
SMITTY: Yeah, but it's from YORIlove.com. And not the popular sections.
YORI: You can't give away the good stuff for free. And there are no bad sections of YORIlove.com.
SMITTY: The FCC would seem to disagree, as probably do the creators of Tiny Toons Adventures.
YORI: Well, just wait till you reach level 60 and qualify for an epic mount.
SMITTY: You just send a Thai Hooker to their house.
YORI: Hey, don’t knock the epicness of mounting Yori brand Thai Hookers. I can attest they are 100% awesome and 84% disease free.
SMITTY: Somehow I feel like reversing those numbers might up satisfaction. And decrease lawsuits.
YORI: We’ve pledged to get it to 90% by the end of the fiscal year.
SMITTY: I’m sure that will be comfort to all the herpes infected leve 60 paladins.
YORI: Allegedly herpes infected paladins, Smitty. And I ****ing hate paladins.
SMITTY: We know.
YORI: But all in all 2008 is looking up for Yori, probably cause the year is shaped like a woman on her side with two boobs..or two vaginas. Which would also be awesome.
SMITTY: You are a disturbing man, Yori.
YORI: And who knows, I may even be tempted back into the squared circle for MARCH OF DESTINY III: THE QUADRILOGY CONTINUES….or are we up to four now?
SMITTY: Does it really matter?
YORI: No, I got billz to pay.
SMITY: Is Miles even returning your phone calls.
YORI: Not since I told him I’d be at the arena in fifteen minutes. As it turns out, I was tied up in the year 4040 by the spider queen of Pluto. Things got ugly…than they got sexy. But not with the Spider queen. But with her half-breed daughter. Who also coincidentally had two vaginas.
SMITTY: So you think Miles will let you back in, now?
YORI: You can’t keep a good pervert down. And after all, god knows someone has to stop Nova’s reign of terror, right? He’s still champion, right?
SMITTY: I have no idea.
YORI: Oh well, someone needs to pay the Cerebral Cocksassin, it might as well be NFW. Cause Dan Ryan has Caller ID now. The ****er.