OOWF MidWeek Mayhem: Maple Leaf Massacre 3 (#876)
Live! From Fredricton, New Brunswick
August 29, 2018
BANNED FROM EVERYWHERE vs. BEER MONEY – Last Blood Match
Beer Money is out first, and the crowd boos the shit out of them. Insane in the Brain plays, and before they can even be introduced, BFE storms the ring. Justin is carrying a hockey stick and wearing a New Brunswick Hawks hockey jersey and Bill is swinging a bullrope wildly above his head. They hit the ring and SYB tries to escape, but Justin catches him with a stick to the jewels. As SYB collapses to his knees, Justin shows his mad stick skills by taking a soda can someone had thrown into the ring, and hitting a slap shot upside SYB’s head that sends him between the ropes to the floor.
Meanwhile Bill has Skurge in the corner and is just wearing him out with punches to the face. Bill takes the bullrope and wraps it around Skurge’s throat and whips him across the ring. Skurge hits the end of the rope, his feet fly from beneath him and he hits the mat, and as soon as he does, Bill charges out of the corner and drops an elbow on him. Skurge rolls out of the ring next to SYB, but BFE gives them no time to recover. Justin grabs Skurge and whips him into the guardrail, and tries it a second time, but Skurge reverses it and catches Justin with a drop toe hold that sends Justin face first into the stairs. Justin comes up a bloody mess. Skurge chokes him against the stairs, then pulls him up and rolls him into the ring.
On the other side of the ring, SYB rakes Bill’s eyes and tries to bite his forehead to draw blood, but Bill shoves him hard into the guardrail, SYB charges and Bill back drops him through the Panamanian announce table. Bill sees Skurge setting Justin up for a piledriver and slides into the ring and grabs Skurge from behind and drops him with a scorpion drop. Bill grabs the cowbell from the bullrope and waits for Skurge to get to his feet. As he does, Bill SLAMS the bell right between Skurge’s eyes. The crowd ERUPTS. Bill takes the bell and hammers the hell out of Skurge, and soon enough, Skurge is pouring blood. Bill pulls him up and whips him into the corner, Skurge flips upside down and Bill ties him in the tree of woe, and leaves him there.
Justin leaves the ring and gets SYB and throws him in. SYB tries to beg off, and tries the JERSEY TURNPIKE, but Bill catches his foot, spins him around and hits an BIONIC ELBOW! SYB staggers and Justin grabs him by the head and hits DOUG HATES TOAST and drives SYB face first into a board with some barbed wire stapled to it! SYB howls in pain and grabs his face, and now HE is a bloody mess. The crowd is fully behind BFE now. Bill stands in the middle of the ring and points to Skurge and the crowd goes crazy. Bill pulls him out of the tree of woe, Skurge can barely stand. Bill hits repeated bionic elbows, then finishes him off with a flip, flop and fly! Bill wants to cover, but stops himself and grins. Everyone has to be bleeding for the match to end!
Bill grabs Skurge for more punishment, Bill grabs Skurge and DESTROYS him with an Alabama Slam, then locks him in the Cuyler Clutch! Justin is standing on the back of SYB’s neck, so he cannot help his partner, Skurge is tapping like a madman, but it doesn’t matter, for the match to end, everyone has to be bleeding! Skurge desperately reaches and tears off a piece of the barbed wire from the board that contains bits of SYB’s face and rakes it across the back of Bill’s hand until just a few drops of blood run down Bill’s hand! The Skurge, who is in agony, continues to tap out and yells for the referee but he and Justin is discussing the recent rise of people jumping out of their car for some song trend that is going on, so the ref is a bit late in seeing Skurge tap furiously. After about thirty seconds, the referee realizes what is going on and calls for the bell!
WINNERS via submission in 14:03 – Banned From Everywhere
Bill finally breaks the hold and Skurge and SYB escape to the back. About halfway down the ramp they meet The Lovely and Talented Dorothy Mantooth and she does NOT look pleased at all. She grabs them and pushes them in front of her and storms to the back while BFE celebrate in the ring.
BRIDGET O’MALLEY vs. STANK vs. SHANNON MANN
Bridget is out first, and she is clearly still in pain from last week. Her ribs are heavily taped and she winces as she steps between the ropes. Shannon Mann is announced next and makes her way to the ring, accompanied by Shizuru. Finally, Stank is announced and comes to the ring. Bridget looks warily at her opponents. The bell rings, and Shannon drops to the mat and rolls out of the ring and sits on Shizuru’s lap and does commentary. Stank blindsides Bridget with a knee to the ribs and beats her down to the mat.
Russ: Shannon Mann, how can you sit here on commentary? You are supposed to be in a match!
Razz: And how are you not getting counted out?
Shannon: I do as I choose to do. This match means nothing to me, I have no fight with either Lucas or Bridget.
Russ: What would Ghosthead say about your recent actions?
Shannon: I care not what my husband thinks. Shizuru is the only man I need in my life right now
Inside the ring, Bridget fights back to her feet and gets in a couple hard shots to Stank. She staggers him with a spinning elbow to the side of the head, then slams his forehead into the turnbuckle before taking him to the mat with a backdrop driver. Bridget can’t immediately cover, as she grabs her ribs in pain. She covers, but before the three count, Zed makes his way to the ring and puts Stank’s foot on the bottom rope (even though he also rolled his shoulder just before the three count.)
Zed helping Stank brings Kylie to ringside and she encourages Bridget to attack. Bridget charges at Stank, but Stank takes her to the mat with a big spinebuster.
Outside the ring Zed and Kylie go at, brawling around ringside.
Razz: It’s all breakin’ loose Russ!
Russ: Why are Zed and Kylie even HERE? And Shannon, how can you STILL not be in this match?
Before Shannon can answer, she is violently shoved off Shizuru’s lap by someone in the crowd. That someone turns out to be Ghosthead, and he has his arm around Shizuru’s neck and he is dragging him into the audience. Ghost is beating the hell out of Shizuru until Shannon dives over the guardrail and slams into Ghost’s knee! Ghost collapses to the floor, and Shizuru and Shannon put the boots to him. Security quickly races to the crowd and breaks them all up and Ghost is helped to the back.
Russ: What the hell is going on here tonight!
Razz: This place is outta control!
Inside the ring, Bridget is on Stank’s back trying to lock him in a rear naked choke hold, Stank fights it, impressively keeping his balance. He finally gets his bearings and just falls back into the corner slamming Bridget into the turnbuckles. Bridget staggers out of the corner and falls to her knees, Stank hits the ropes and connects with a SICK shining wizard to the face! Bridget looks like she’s DEAD! Stank covers, one…….two……three.
WINNER in 25:44 – Stank
Kylie immediately breaks away from Zed and slides into the ring to check on Bridget. Zed follows her in and hits her from behind, pulls her to her feet and hits the GTH! Kylie is OUT! Stank and Zed stand over the two of them while the crowd boos the shit out of them, then finally head to the back.
FIREWOMAN vs. MAI MUYO
Fire and Mai are both announced and make their way to the ring. Miraculously they are not accompanied by anyone. Mai and Fire wait in opposite corners glaring at one another. The bell rings and they make their way to the middle of the ring and lock up. Fire and Mai tear into one another with fury, but neither can keep an advantage for long. Mai takes Fire to the mat and starts working over her knees, trapping her in numerous submission moves, which Fire either reverses or breaks via the ropes.
Mai gets Fire into the corner and puts her in the tree of woe. As Mai charges into the corner for a low drop kick, Fire sits up, frees herself and hops off the turnbuckle to the floor, grabs Mai’s legs and pulls her crotch first into the post, then traps her in a ringpost figure four. Mai howls in pain, but obviously a tap out here wouldn’t count for anything. Fire keeps the move on until the referee threatens disqualification, then finally breaks the hold. Fire slides into the ring and goes to work on Mai, immediately trapping her in a sharpshooter. Mai tries to reverse it, but Fire breaks it and turns it into a walls of Jericho, complete with her knee on the back of Mai’s neck. Mai finally reaches the ropes and forces the break, then heads out of the ring to the floor. Fire gets a running start and hits Mai with a beautiful swanton, then immediately rolls her back into the ring and cradles her for a two count.
Mai once again tries to bail out, but Fire runs the apron and takes Mai to the floor with a beautiful hurracarana. Fire shoots her into the ring, and tries another pin, but Mai kicks out and escapes once again, this time Fire tries to dive between the ropes at Mai, but Mai is ready and KILLS Fire with a kick right to the face! Fire falls to the floor and does not move. Mai rolls back into the ring to take the count out win. Ecosystem makes his way to the ring to check on Fire, he gets her to a seated position, but Fire’s eyes are glassy. While this is going on, Moosehead Jack makes his way to the ring and jumps on the apron and argues with the referee about the legality of Eco being there.
Mai slips out of the ring and sneaks up on her brother, who is now nose to nose with Moose. Mai grabs Eco from behind and runs him into the guardrail shoulder first, then shoots Fire into the ring. Mai covers Fire, but somehow Fire kicks out. Mai spends several minutes punishing Fire, who still seems a little cloudy. Mai looks at Moose, then pulls Fire up onto her shoulders for a GTS, Mai turns and looks at her brother. Eco reaches into the ring and grabs Mai’s foot, the second distraction allows Fire to slip off Mai’s shoulders, spin her around and hits the MOOSEKILLER! Fire covers Mai, one. Two. THREE!
WINNER in 33:28 – Firewoman
Fire and Eco celebrate their win while Moose pulls Mai out of the ring. Moose grabs a mic
Eco, you think you’ve won something here? I promise you……..you’re night is about to get much……..MUCH worse.
Moose laughs and he and Mai head to the back. Fire waits at ringside while Eco steps into the ring and waits for his opponent.
ECOSYSTEM vs. PICK YOUR POISON
Mike Elevenbee stands in the ring with a general crowd noise behind him.
ME: Our next match this evening is a Pick Your Poison Match. Ecosystem will have to face a previously unannounced opponent handpicked for him by Moosehead Jack. Introducing first, from Nagoya, Japan, at a weight of 245 pounds…Ecosystem! After the announcement Eco e takes the microphone from Elevenbee.
Eco: Moosehead Jack thinks he can play mind games with me by throwing out some sort of mystery opponent. I invented mind games. I’m the cerebral assassin. When you think you know all the questions, I change all the answers. I’m also the most original man in wrestling today. Holla, if you hear me.
He pauses for a moment while the audience twitters with laughter.
Eco: So, I don’t care what member of the Saints he sends out here or what affiliate. He can send Zed, Shizuru, even my own sister; which I would put even odds on. So, whoever it is, let’s get ready to rumble.
“Stranglehold” by Ted Nugent plays. The arena is filled with a confused hum as no current OOWF superstar uses that song. After the opening guitar riff, a figure emerges from the back and stands on the entrance stage.
Russ: It’s “Silver Eagle” Jack Bullet! This is the first we’ve seen of him since getting suspended for hitting a fan almost a month ago at Mid-Summer Night’s Scream.
Razz: Not counting when Carl Sack found him about a week later drunk as a skunk in a rundown Canadian bar.
Russ: Sack left Bullet a business card saying he could make one phone call and erase the suspension.
Razz: It’s a brilliant end around for Bullet. Moose could name anyone Eco’s opponent, suspended or not.
Russ: Eco and Bullet have had some wars in the ring. While they’ve been cordial lately, there’s no love lost between them and Bullet is probably the one man in recent memory who has been the most successful against Eco.
Bullet walks with an even pace to the ring. His hair is longer than usual and slicked back. He’s wearing all black trunks and boots. He slides under the bottom rope as Eco goes to speak.
Eco: Alright, I have to admit for Moosetwit, this is pretty clev…
Eco is cut off as Bullet pops up to is feet and nails Eco right in the jaw with a right hand. The fans roars as referee Angelo Barros calls for the bell. Elevenbee collects the dropped microphone and scurries out of the ring.
Bullet peppers Eco with rights and lefts. Eco tries to create some distance with a kick, but Bullet grabs his foot. Eco springs off the other leg for an enzuigiri, but Bullet ducks. Eco manages to keep his balance as he lands with his back to Bullet. Jack hooks Eco around his knee and picks him up and over for a teardrop suplex. Eco rolls with the bounce off the canvas and to the floor. He finally removes his black jacket.
Bullet springs over the top rope and to the floor, landing on his feet in front of Eco. He begs off and backs up. Jack catches him with a punch to the top of the head. He spins Eco around and shoves him into the ring post. The crowd groans as Eco winces in pain. Bullets picks up his opponent from behind for a reverse atomic drop. Eco hops in the air holding his groin and flips over the ring stairs to land on his back on the floor. Bullet walks up onto the steps and comes off in one motion with a fist drop to Eco’s chest. He rolls over on his front. Bullet picks him up by his tights as he stands and throws Eco under the bottom rope.
Bullet climbs the near corner from the outside. He measures Eco as he writhes on the mat and comes off with a knee drop from on high. Jack covers for two.
Russ: This just isn’t a new look Jack Bullet. It’s also a new attitude Jack Bullet. It’s like he’s been operating over one even flowing motion since hitting the ring.
Razz: Bullet expressed his disdain for how people talked and did nothing several times recently. Maybe this is how he’s decided to deal with it. Be the change he wants to see. All action, no filler.
Bullet pulls Eco up by the shoulder and looks to be going for a uranage. Eco elbows out and runs into the ropes. Bullet tries a clothesline. Eco grabs his arm, pivots behind Bullet, back to the front and scores a floatover DDT.
Russ: That’s the momentum changer Eco needed.
Eco sits up on the mat and is basically trying to get his wits about him. Suddenly, Bullet’s legs twitch and he kips up.
Eco: Oh, give me a fucking break…
Jack spins around and catches Eco with a windmill kick. Eco lays on the mat and Bullet goes for an elbow drop, but Eco rolls to the apron. Jack gets up and moves to the edge of the ring as Eco pulls himself up by the ropes. Bullet tries to slingshot Eco into the ring by the top rope, but he blocks and fires a forearm to the face. Jack staggers back. Eco pulls down hard on the top rope and slingshots back into the ring with a splash. Eco covers for just two as Jack presses him off.
As they rush up, Eco catches Jack with an arm drag. Bullet pops up and gets arm dragged again. A third, a fourth. Bullet rides the momentum of the fifth arm drag out to the floor.
Russ: Usually we see Bullet with the strong arm drag game, but tonight it’s Eco.
Razz: As Eco finds his bearings in this match he’s obviously trying to try to shake new Jack Bullet by introducing some echoes of the old.
As Bullet hits the floor, he runs around the outside of the ring and slides in under the bottom rope behind Eco. He turns and tries to tag Bullet with a big boot, but he slides under the leg and back to the floor. He runs around the outside of the ring again. He leaps to the apron and climbs the turnbuckle from the outside. He leaps off, but Eco catches him in the gut with a standing dropkick.
Russ: Maybe that will slow the Silver Bullet down. He’s been running like a bullet train since coming out.
Eco gets behind Bullet and puts him in a chinlock with his knees in Bullet’s back. He cranks back hard. Bullet gets his legs underneath him, works up and then slams down to shake Eco off with a jawbreaker. Both men lie on the mat.
Razz: Normally I’m not the biggest Jack Bullet fan, but the aggression and focus out of him tonight I have to admire. Well, I don’t have to do anything, but I’m choosing to admire it.
Eco pulls himself up by the ropes. Bullet stands and stalks over to him. Eco fires out a kick, but Jack grabs it and turns him over into a knee bar. Eco pushes himself up by his arms, fires a mule kick with his free leg to catch Bullet in the gut. He lets go and stumbles back. Eco gets up and offers a lockup.
Russ: Smart by Eco, trying to slow things down, trying to control the pace.
Bullet obliges and backs Eco up into the corner. Barros calls for the break and he gets it. Eco steps out and asks for a lockup again. Bullet obliges, pushes Eco into the corner again. Barros calls for the break and Bullet gives it. Eco steps out and signals for a third lockup. Bullet shrugs his shoulders, shakes his head no and unloads with a series of rights and lefts.
Razz: Jack is giving a little here, but not everything. Fool him twice you can’t kid a kidder thrice…or something like that.
Bullets fires Eco into the ropes and nearly takes his head off with a clothesline. Jack pulls Eco up by the arm and throws him into the ropes. Eco ducks the clothesline this time, comes off the opposite set of ropes and eats a spinning back elbow. Jack pulls Eco up again, but reverses the Irish whip into the ropes and catches Bullet with his own back elbow. It stuns the Silver Eagle, but doesn’t put him down. Bullet turns as Eco grabs his arm and rocks Jack with a short-arm clothesline. Eco follows with a knee to the head and covers for two. Eco lays on the mat breathing hard.
Eco: I need to work on my cardio.
They start up and Eco falls into Bullet with a double axe handle to put him back down. Eco stands and kicks Jacks a couple times. He goes into the ropes and comes off with a knee drop. He covers for two. He pulls Bullet up and locks him into a full nelson.
Razz: What the hell…has Eco been watching the best of Billy Jack Haynes, all one match of it.
Russ: Eco is pulling out everything he can think of just to slow Jack Bullet down and wear him down. This is the first advantage he’s probably had all match.
Bullet starts to muscle out of the full nelson, so Eco steps a leg in front of Jack and turns it into a front leg sweep. Eco sits on Jack’s back and locks in a camel clutch. Barros asks Bullet if he wants to submit and he says no several times. He then get his legs underneath him and works up to an almost standing position. Eco is hanging off of Bullet’s back. He brings his knees up into Bullet’s back and jerks down on his head hard for a back stabber.
Eco picks up Bullet in a body slam, but instead of slamming him down, he turns him into the ropes and Jack’s throat catches the top rope. He goes down and Eco slumps in the corner for a breather, measuring his foe. Bullet starts to stand and Eco goes over to him, grabbing his head and firing up a knee to send him into the near corner. Eco whips him to the far corner, Bullet reverses. Eco hits the turnbuckles in the back. Bullet leaps for an Eagle Splash, but Eco moves out of the way. Bullet jacks his jaw on the top turnbuckle and falls backwards into a leaping Eco for a jumping neckbreaker. He covers for two.
Russ: Momentum is shifting to Eco here. Is Jack Bullet out of gas or just lying in wait for the right moment?
Eco pulls Jack up by the head for a suplex. Bullet blocks and tries to reverse. Eco blocks and tries for it again. Bullet blocks. Eco twists out of the hold while whipping Jack into the ropes. He catches Jack coming off around the waist and rides his momentum over for a belly to belly suplex. He covers for two.
Eco pulls Bullet up and into a dragon sleeper. The crowd pops for the Endgame to come. However, Bullet reaches up with his free hand and starts slapping Eco around the face. This makes Eco loosen his grip on the arm. Bullet manages to turn into Eco with his head under his armpit and his arms around his waist. He picks up and launches him over with an overhead belly to belly suplex. Eco is up quick, but walks into a forearm by Bullet. He grabs the stunned Eco for a slingshot suplex. Bullet floats over, but not into a cover, rather the Talon.
Russ: Bullet has Eco pinned to the mat with that submission hold. He calls it the Talon, but it’s a face claw with deep roots in traditional professional wrestling.
Eco lays flat on the mat for a series of two counts, but lifts his shoulder up each time before Barros can get to three. He also refuses to submit. Bullet finally pulls Eco to his feet with the Talon intact. Bullet lets go and Eco falls forward. Bullet catches him as he falls. Eco’s head goes between Jack’s legs. He flips Eco up and then falls down to drive his head into the mat.
Razz: Speaking of old school, it doesn’t get much old school than that. A honest to god piledriver.
Bullet hooks the leg and gets the one…two…three…
ME: Your winner at 17:47, “Silver Eagle” Jack Bullet.
Bullet asks Elvenbee for the microphone as Eco rolls to the floor and is helped to the back by Barros.
JB: I know I’ve been AWOL for about a month now and who you saw in this ring tonight was maybe not exactly who you thought you would see and maybe I didn’t come back the way you thought I would. You the fans have a lot of questions and you deserve answers. Eco deserves some answers, Kylie deserves some answers and most of all, Josie, sweetheart, I know you’re watching, you deserve some answers.
The fans pop at the mention of Josie and Bullet pauses a moment, still breathing hard from the match.
JB: Heading into Midsummer Night’s Scream, I didn’t know who I was and who I wanted to be. I was a 45-year-old man more lost than some kid fresh out of high school. And I figured out the reason why. It was because for the first time in a long time, I had someone to care about. I had a family in Kylie and Josie. Until you’ve had a family and lost it, you don’t know how much that can ground a man. How much family makes a man a man. The fact that I went through a messy divorce and barely get to see my two children is something pretty well known to you fans and I have Eco to thank for that.
Bullet clips the end of his sentence off with a harsh bite. The crowd boos a little.
JB: Now, I don’t bear any ill will toward Eco anymore for revealing my past, not much anyway. And let’s make one thing clear, me in this ring tonight does not mean I’m siding with Moosehead Jack and the Saints. Jack opened the door for me to come back to the OOWF and all he asked was that I beat the crap out of Eco, something I’ve shown to be pretty good at, as I walked through that open door.
Bullet pauses again and runs his hand down his face. It looks like he’s wiping sweat, but he’s also considering what to say next.
JB: Let’s address the elephant in the room. I know what you’re all thinking “Jack Bullet, you attacked a fan at Midsummer Night’s Scream for having a Cane Josie sign.” Well, haven’t we all had to at one point fight for who we loved. And hasn’t that sometimes meant burning down everything around us. Hasn’t that meant letting everything go, even the love we were fighting for. Josie, sweetheart…
Tears comes to Jack Bullet’s eyes as he looks directly into the camera.
JB: Uncle Jack has to go away. How long, I don’t know. I hope not forever, but just long enough for you to be safe and for me to find myself again. When I come through that door again, Josie, Uncle Jack will have candy and ice cream and…
Bullet pauses slightly and his voice rises into a scream.
JB: AND THE OOWF WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE AROUND MY WAIST!!!
The crowd pops huge for that.
JB: I don’t care if the champion is Moosehead Jack, Mac Flasher, Eco, Firewoman or any damned Saint. Right here, right now, I’m challenging for the world title at Hell on Earth. And I’ll walk through hell to get there. Danny Taylor, you want to book a number one contenders tournament. I’ll win it. You want to book a 100 man battle royal. I’ll toss 99 losers out on their ass. You want to book a number one contenders triple threat, four-way, five-way, six-way; no hold’s barred, pinfalls count anywhere, up on a scaffold, on the roof of the building; on the surface of the damn moon. Do it. I’ll win it. I’ll win whatever it takes, because a man of action is what Jack Bullet is and the next World Champion is what I’ll become. And that’s not a talking point, that’s an action point.
Bullet spikes the microphone down. The fans roar and we fade.
GHOSTHEAD vs. SHIZURU – OOWF Onslaught Championship Match
Ghost storms to the ring and paces like a caged animal. He does have a noticeable limp from his brawl with Shannon and Shizuru earlier. Shizuru’s music hits and he and Shannon slowly make their way to the ring. Shannon holds the ropes for Shizuru and he steps between the ropes, then she takes the belt from around Shizuru’s waist and holds it up right in Ghost’s face. The referee calls for the handshake and Shizuru smirks pats Shannon on the behind, then extends that hand to Ghost. Ghost explodes.
The referee calls for the bell, and Ghost is absolutely brutalizing Shizuru. Ghost runs through all of his warnings in about thirty seconds, then Shizuru finally escapes to the outside to regroup with Shannon. They don’t get much strategy discussed as Ghost reaches out of the ring and pulls Shizuru into the ring and continues to pound him mercilessly. Ghost tries to break Shizuru in half with a series of backbreakers, then hits a series of snap suplexes on the apron before throwing Shizuru back into the ring. Ghost covers, but Shizuru somehow kicks out at two.
Ghost waits for Shizuru to get to his feet, then heads toward the ropes for a kick to the jaw, but Shannon low bridges him, Ghost falls out of the ring and lands hard on the floor. Shizuru immediately distracts the referee and Shannon wraps a cord around Ghost’s throat and chokes him out. Shannon has a look of pure sadistic glee on her face as she feels her husband go limp and fall to the floor. She hefts him up and rolls him under the bottom rope, Shizuru quickly pushes the referee aside and covers Ghost expecting an easy win, but somehow Ghost powers out at two, and the crowd goes nuts!
Ghost DESTROYS Shizuru, beating him from pillar to post and leaving him a bloody mess. Ghost lays Shizuru out in the middle of the ring and heads to the corner and goes for the LAST NAIL, but Shannon grabs his foot. Ghost breaks free and hops off the top rope and pulls Shannon onto the apron and glares at her in disbelief. From behind Shizuru slams into Ghost, he and Shannon slam heads and Shizuru rolls Ghost up, grabs a handful of tights and gets the one…..two…..NOT LIKE THIS! THREE!
WINNER in 13:22 – Shizuru
Shizuru immediately bails out of the ring and Shannon, holding her head, helps Shizuru up and they beat a hasty retreat up the ramp. Inside the ring, Ghost gets to his feet and limps around the ring for a moment, then demands a mic
Shannon, you have made your intentions perfectly clear. You have forsaken me. I demand one thing before I wash my hands of you both. Since I clearly cannot get a fair match against Shizuru alone, at Hell on Earth 14, I want an match against both of you, handicap match, for the Onslaught championship. Men in the back, do not test me on this, I guarantee you, it is in your best interest to do as I wish.
Ghost slams down the mic and stalks to the back
THE DARLINGS vs. THE SAINTS OF SINNERS – OOWF World Tag Team Title Steel Cage Match
"Radioactive" by Imagine Dragons leads Alex and Alexis Darling down to the ring. They warm up as "Laser Cannon Deth Sentence" leads the OOWF World Tag Team Champions down to the ring to a chorus of boos. Matt and Stan enter the cage and hand their Championships to the referee. Matt and Alex don't take their eyes off one another as Mike Elevenbee starts the official introductions.
ME: This match is one fall to the finish, no time limit and it is for the OOWF World Tag Team Championships! Introducing first in the corner to my right the challengers. From West Palm Beach Florida, standing 5'7 and weighing 128 pounds Alexis Darling. And her tag team partner also from West Palm Beach Florida, standing 6'3 and weighing 220 pounds Alexander Darling. And now in the corner to my left, representing the Saints of Sinners, the reigning and defending OOWF World Tag Team Champions. From Iron Mountain Minnesota, standing 5'11 and weigning 461 pounds Stan Fulton. And his tag team partner from Green Bay Wisconsin, 6'5 and weighing 225 pounds Matt Folz.
The bell rings as Matt and Alex get nose to nose and start talking trash. No finesse here as Matt fires a right hand and Alex responds in kind and the two long time rivals start to brawl around the ring. As their partners are preoccupied, Stan shoots Alexis off the ropes. But Alexis ducks a lariat and looks to steal this one early with a crucifix that gets two. Alexis is quicker back to her feet and nearly takes Stan's head off with a spin kick. Alex gets the advantage and beats Matt down in the corner then goes to help his sister. The Darlings nail Stan with a Double Brainbuster and a Double DDT. Alex covers for 2. Matt gets back to his feet but is taken down by a double superkick from the Darlings. For the next few minutes Alex and Alexis continue to press their advantage and double team Stan. Alexis heads up to the top rope and the Darlings hit a Rocket Launcher. The referee counts 1...2...broken up by a returning Matt. Alex grabs Matt but Matt reverses and hits a a release German Suplex that sends Alex flying across the ring. Matt runs across the ring and nails Alexis with a big boot and then helps his partner up.
Stan with a huge belly to belly suplex on Alexis. Meanwhile Matt picks up Alex and sends him face first into the cage not once, not twice but Thrice triggering a huge cut on Alex's forehead. Matt calls out instructions to Stan, who whips Alexis off the ropes. Matt takes her down with a drop toe hold and Stan simultaneously in great timing drops an elbow on the back of her head. Matt picks up a bloody Alex and slaps him across the face as Stan goes to the second turnbuckle and nails the Crusher on Alexis. The referee begins to count, Alex thumbs Matt in the eye and dives over to break up the count JUST before 3. Alex stomps on Stan but Matt comes up from behind and nails him with an Angle Slam. 1...2...Alex gets his shoulder up. Matt glares at the referee then motions to Stan. Stan goes over and removes the turnbuckle pad. Matt whips Alex towards the exposed steel but Alex reverses and Matt hits hard, opening up a gushing cut of his own. Alexis nails Stan with a low blow and uses the ropes to pull herself up. Alex with a swinging neckbreaker on Stan. Alex and Alexis hit the Darling Bombshell on Matt. Alex covers with Stan still down, 1...2...now it's Matt's turn to just roll his shoulder and Alex's turn to glare at the referee. Stan with a belly to back suplex on Alexis and then a lariat to Alex.
Matt wipes the blood out of his eyes and then rolls out to grab a chair from under the ring. He rolls into the ring and nails Alexis with it and then motions Stan to hold Alex. Matt takes a home run swing and Alex ducks causing Matt to drive the chair full force into his partner's face. We get a close up of Matt's "OH FUCK!" Look before he regroups and takes another swing at Alex, but Alex kicks the chair back into Matt's face. Alex covers a now heavily bleeding Stan. 1...2...2.99999999. Alex slams the mat in frustration before slowly heading to the top rope. Matt pulls himself up and dives into the ropes crotching Alex on the turnbuckle. Matt slams Alex off the top and then drags him to the center of the ring and applies the Folzmission. Alex tries his best to try and get out of it, but Matt applies the body scissors and Alex has nowhere to go. Alexis tries to come over to help but is cut off by Stan. Alex has no choice but to tap.
WINNERS (Submission, 34:21) and STILL OOWF World Tag Team Champions Matt Folz and Stan Fulton
The referee hands the Saints their titles and they hold them high in the air as the crowd tries to boo them out of the building. Matt and Stan step over Alex and Alexis as they leave the ring and head to the back
KYLIE MIGNOLIO vs. ZED – OOWF Intercontinental Title Match
Kylie comes out and plays to the fans, pointing at all the JOSIE! Signs. Kylie seems completely focused on the match and waits anxiously for Zed to come out. When Zed is announced, he comes out and appears to be in a rather foul mood. He leaves BRICK~! behind and hits the ring and immediately goes after Kylie.
Kylie ducks Zed’s clothesline and catches him with a boot to the gut and a smash to the knee. Zed staggers into the corner holding his face and Kylie monkey flips him out of the corner, Zed lands on his feet and hits the ropes, but Kylie is waiting for him and she pops him with a superkick to the jaw as he rebounds. Zed tries to slide under the bottom rope, but Kylie grabs his ankles and drags him back into the ring and turns it into a giant swing! The crowd counts as Kylie spins Zed, she finally releases him, Zed spins into the corner and slams ribs first into the ring post, then falls to the floor. Kylie starts to leave the ring, but Stank has made his way out at the behest of BRICK~! Stank stands over Zed and Kylie decides to stay in the ring.
Zed gets to his feet and huddles briefly with Stank, then slides into the ring and locks up with Kylie. Zed grabs an arm wringer and takes Kylie to the mat, but Kylie kips back to her feet, then springs to the ropes and takes Zed to the mat with a hurracarana. Zed pops up and Kylie takes him to the mat with an arm bar, but Zed slithers free and slides under the bottom rope and storms around ringside. BRICK~!, Zed and Stank all huddle, while they are doing that we see BRICK~! slip something to Zed. Zed slides back into the ring, and he and Kylie are about to lock up again when Bridget makes her way to the ring. I guess everyone is a manager tonight. Bridget jumps on the apron and calls the referee over to check on Zed. Zed protests loudly and ditches the knucks to BRICK~! as soon as he does, Kylie slips behind him, and hits the Florida Key, Kylie bridges hard, one…….two……..THREE! Zed kicks out a moment too late!
WINNER in 12:27 and NEW OOWF Intercontinental Champion – Kylie Mignolio
Kylie drops to her knees with the title and Bridget slides in and tackles her to the mat with a hug. The crowd absolutely blows the roof off the building. On the outside Zed is beside himself with rage that Kylie ended his reign. He storms to the back followed by BRICK~! and Stank. Inside the ring, Kylie slowly gets to her feet and holds the title high in the air and the cheers get even louder. She bows to the crowd as Banned From Everywhere, Ecosystem and Fire hit the ring and hoist Kylie onto their shoulders. They celebrate for a moment, then all of them head to the back to, presumably, continue the celebration.
MAC FLASHER vs. MOOSEHEAD JACK – OOWF World Heavyweight Championship Insanity Match
With the explosive-laden cage structure around the ring, OOWF being crew members work to suspend the weaponry from the ceiling of the structure. That means that Mac Flasher’s selections of a kendo stick, a DeMarini CF Zen (-3) BBCOR Zero Dark baseball bat, a steel chair and a rope tied into a noose, as Mac apparently failed to think of a fifth weapon. Moosehead Jack’s assortment of plunder sees Happy Deth Bat IV, a chain, a staple gun, a board with barbed wire stapled to it and his trusty scalpel. “I Get Wet (8-bit remix) plays out Mac, who pauses at the top of the ramp and looks back only for Bridget O’Malley to emerge at the very last second. While things are still very tense between the two, Bridget pulls Mac close and hands him a set of brass knuckles. Bridget hugs Mac and sends him on his way before returning to the back. Mac walks to the ring, stopping to admire the handiwork of his vision – albeit with a slight bit of trepidation – as “Scarecrow” starts up, with some accompanying noise as Moose drags a bloodied Bridget out with him. Just as Mac turns around, Moose – with a handful of her hair – throws Bridget off the ramp.
Mac charges as ring crew and officials hold the two apart. Moose cackles and lights a cigar as Mac’s focus is no longer on the ring, but a barely moving Bridget beside the ramp. Mac is pushed toward the ring as Moose confidently strides a few paces behind. Both men are secured inside the structure as Mike Elevenbee, from the outside, rolls through the introductions. Mac, still looking back as Medical tends to Bridget misses his introduction and Moose, not waiting for his name to be called, jumps Mac from behind. Running his face across the fencing, opening a cut almost immediately.
Razz: “This is what Mac wanted. This cage. Moose. Weapons. It’ll be what Mac never anticipated about this night that will lead to an embarrassingly quick night … And nothing. Mac will walk away with nothing.”
Russ: “It’s been a minute. There’s still a lot of weaponry that needs to be involved. Remember, it’s only when you use your full assortment of weapons to earn pinfalls or submissions that this turns into last-man-standing rules. Both men will suffer a great deal before this one is over.”
Razz: “And if we don’t have a winner before 30 minutes expires … Boom.”
Russ: “That’s right, charges around the ring will detonate. Just to up the ante.”
Razz: “If that happens. Careers change permanently.”
As Mac tries to gain separation, Moose jumps up and pulls down the chain. With Mac stumbling and turning around, he walks right into a chain-aided punch, knocking him silly. With OOWF Official Davis Hightower on the outside – as demanded by “Dynamite” Danny Taylor – Moose makes a cover and gets 2. Moose is undeterred, taking the chain and wrapping it around Mac’s throat and using it as extra leverage as he toss Mac into the side of the cage three times before pulling him by the chain to the middle of the ring. Mac tries to crawl away, but Moose simply grips the chain tighter as Mac’s struggles work against his need to breathe. Eventually Moose gets tired of the cat-and-mouse game and goes in for the cover, securing the first fall with help from the chain as Mac only starts to get his air back.
Moose continues to boot down Mac, who is still a bit blue-faced from the chain assault. Moose stands Mac up before reaching for his flask and taking a generous swig of “Trust Me.” Moose sprays Mac’s face with it, creating a burning sensation on his bloodied face, but also serving to awaken Mac’s rage. Mac pummels Moose with fists and a few knees, working him into a corner. After a series of elbows to the forehead and a kick to the stomach slump Moose in the corner, Mac reaches for the noose and snags it with little trouble. As Mac turns around to employ the rope, Moose greets him with a boot to the groin. As Mac lay on the mat, Moose scales the ropes and secures the barbed-wire board. With Moose placing the board on the mat, he grabs Mac by the hair and DDTs him on the barbed wire board, getting it stuck on his forehead. Moose rolls Mac over and gets 3.
Russ: “I think these good people in Fredricton are starting to realize that Mac Flasher, a working-class hero, might be a bit out of his league with this type of match.”
Razz: “Mac wanted this all summer. He alienated friends. He alienated Bridget, going so far as to injure her just to hurt Moose. He lost the OOWF World Championship to that same man. And for what? To settle scores that have nothing to do with OOWF. To eradicate pain that only he can feel?”
Moose wipes blood from his hands on Mac’s shirt while smiling and looking to the ceiling of the cage to consider his next weapon. With his eyes on Happy Deth Bat IV, Moose gets wrapped in Mac’s rope with Mac tightening the noose. With Moose’s eyes popping, Mac delivers a series of left hooks while gripping the rope with his right hand. A bolo punch sends Moose over the top rope where Mac stands with the rope and pulls with his might as Moose tries to get his feet on the ground or apron. With Mac vocally expressing his rage at Moose, the champ taps on the rope in front of Hightower to concede his first fall. Hightower, albeit powerless to enforce the count, counts off 5 as Mac lets go of the rope at 4, dropping him to the outside. Mac reaches up and pulls down the steel chair, setting up for a baseball slide with the chair at the end of it for Moose, who crumples to the floor. Mac takes the chance to return an earlier favor and run Moose’s forehead across the fencing, drawing blood with Mac even smearing some of Moose’s on his cheek as war paint. Mac returns to the discarded chair and waffles Moose with it, denting the seat area and putting Moose on spaghetti legs. Mac grips Moose and sends him into the cage with an exploder suplex before following with a chair-based beatdown that almost renders Moose unconscious. With Mac rolling Moose into the ring, Moose is able to get to his knees before Mac rolls in with the chair in hand. Moose, electing not to get vertical, eggs Mac on to give him his best shot. Even going so far as to put his hands behind his back. As a smattering of applause goes up for Bridget as she’s stretchered out of the arena, Mac glances at the ramp before sending a Ruthian blast to Moose’s skull. The pin is academic.
Russ: “And just like that, Mac Flasher has rallied to cut that deficit to nothing. These two men, already in 14 minutes have inflicted years’ worth of punishment to each other. This is not about titles. This is about two men …”
Razz: “This is about Mac. Moose is just a willing participant. Moose got what he wanted out of the deal last week. Mac will only earn vindication by getting Moose to stay down for a 10 count if have use his other three weapons.”
With Moose shaking the cobwebs, Mac puts the brass knuckles on his right hand and waits for the champion to turn around. Moose spins around and ducks a punch, sending Mac lumbering into the ropes before Moose counters with a jumping knee to the jaw. With Mac face down, Moose tries to take Mac’s brass knuckles with Mac balling his hand in a fist to prevent the theft. Moose stands up and stomps Mac’s neck, stunning him just long enough to allow Moose to take the knuckles and place them on his own right hand. Instead of the knockout blow, Moose opts to work Mac’s ribcage with the knucks, with a sickening crunch draining Mac of his spirit to resist the assault. Moose discards the knuckles and climbs the cage to get the staple gun. With Mac crawling toward the knuckles, Moose spins him on his back and drills him in the face with the staple gun, before stapling Mac’s shirt to the canvas. While shouting “TOO EASY!”, Moose pins Mac with a boot on his chest stomping the affected area from the brass knuckle attack as Mac tries to rip free from the stapled assistance. Moose smiles and watches Mac struggle to free himself, coughing each time he twists his torso. Finally, Mac tears his shirt away, to show bruising already developing on his back as Moose gets a frenzied look in his eye, rushing toward Mac and running his back into the turnbuckles. Moose peppers Mac with a few solid rights to the bruised area before throwing him to the mat. Moose crawls under the ring and grabs a table, bringing it into the ring and setting up in the dead center. With Mac trying to get to his feet, Moose slugs him down and places him on the table before climbing the fencing to procure Happy Deth Bat IV. Not happy with his previous idea, Moose climbs across the ceiling until he’s directly over Mac. With Happy Deth Bat in hand, Moose drops down and sends the barrel of Happy Deth Bat IV across Mac’s throat with the added impact of the table breaking just under Mac’s bruised – maybe broken – ribs. The drop takes enough out of Moose that he slumps over Mac as Hightower counts the pin from the outside.
Moose rolls off as Mac, with the brass knuckles secretly in hand, decks Moose with a right cross to the jaw. Hightower could have counted to 50, but only chooses to count 3 with both men bleeding and broken on the canvas.
Russ: “Mac Flasher is keeping pace, but how long until the attrition of Moose’s inflicted damage takes too much of a toll?”
Razz: “Partner! The fact that Mac even got that last pin was a surprise to me. Moose has taken too much out of Mac and only needs to use the scalpel too get a decision before enacting last-man standing rules for him. Mac’s got two to go and if his ribs are any way damaged, stretching and climbing to reach them will be excruciating.”
With both men laying on the mat, breathing with labor, Elevenbee announces that only 5 minutes remain until the charges are set to go off. Moose gets to his feet first and eyes the scalpel. He climbs the ropes and takes a swipe at it before Mac grabs Moose by the legs and secures him in an electric-chair drop onto the various plunder already in the ring. Mac, as Razz predicted, has extreme trouble just reaching for his weapons, wincing in pain each time he extends his arm. Just as Mac’s adrenaline allows him to surge up to grab his baseball bat, Moose drills Mac’s ribs with the steel chair. Mac’s fall – onto his back – doesn’t help the matter any. Mac rolls around on the mat with Moose reaching for the scalpel, only to not quite be able to reach it before Mac guts Moose with Happy Deth Bat IV. Mac rakes the barbed wire across Moose’s already bloodied forehead and leaves the bat on his face as he tries to climb again for his baseball bat. Mac grabs it and drops to the canvas, delivering two caveman-style swings to the gut and a golf swing to the jaw. Mac falls on top for 3, but is in a great amount of pain in the process.
Razz: “Every motion … Every time he breathes. Moose wins more. It’s only a matter of time, Russ. Mac is proving a lot, but …”
Russ: But what? I haven’t heard a bell. I haven’t seen Moose use the scalpel yet. It’s still anyone’s match, as far as I’m concerned.”
With Elevenbee making the the 30-second announcement, the arena fills with a buzz. Moose and Mac just start to get to their feet as the countdown starts from 10. With the two just starting to exchange labored blows …
… BOOM! Flashes of light and dust fill the arena. When the dust settles, Mac’s bat and Moose’s scalpel are on the mat, with the ceiling not surviving the blast, falling on both men. Moose tries to get to his feet first, but his ankle is met with Mac’s bat. Moose immediately crawls away, as Mac staggers upright and drives the barrel on the affected ankle again and again. Mac – rocking about a .75 Muta at this point – hammers away at Moose with fists, boots, bat … Whatever he can find. With Mac about to make his way toward a pinning attempt on Moose, a jab with intent finds Mac’s thigh. Mac screams as the inside of his right jeans leg turns red in a hurry. Mac sits on the mat as Moose charges with a knee to knock Mac’s head backward and slam it onto the mat. Mac’s eyes roll to the back of his head as Moose drapes an arm over Mac. Hightower makes the count, activating the last-man standing rule for Moose. Hightower immediately starts the count as Mac’s eyes don’t open until 5. As Mac scrambles to his feet, his right leg gives way until Mac removes the scalpel on his own and makes it to the ropes where he props himself up at 8. Moose protests the stoppage of the count, but Hightower is having none of it. Mac is able to secure his bat and drill Moose with a line-drive swing to the gut before sending another shot to the ankle, just to put him down. Moose writhes in pain as Mac works Moose’s knee before locking Moose in an STF with the bat wedging the knee. Moose, who repeatedly tells Mac where he can stuff his submission attempt, tries to crawl to the ropes, but cannot move because of the pain with the bat-aided STF in his leg. With Moose starting to fade, the instinct to claw at Mac’s eyes gains him temporary respite as Mac releases the crossface, but is still tangled with Moose’s legs. As Mac tries to roll away, Moose rolls over and hammers Mac with a panel from the cage’s ceiling. This is enough to get Moose untangled and up first as Mac beats the count at 6, but is not able to do much more than stand as Moose charges with Mac’s bat and gets the sweet spot across his throat.
Mac immediately drops and gasps for air, as Hightower administers the count. Mac, albeit with a severe difficulty to breathe, is up at 6, but is promptly locked in a Ji-Endo. As Moose pulls back, Mac fades fast. With both arms going limp in a matter of seconds. Moose hangs on just a bit longer before dropping his purple-faced challenger on the mat. Hightower gets the count to 8 when a loud cheer comes from the crowd. Mac is still down, but Bridget, heavily bandaged, limps toward ringside. Hightower is at 9 when Mac sits up and gets to a standing base, beating the count. While Mac is not sure of what planet he’s on, he spots Bridget and stares at her. Bridget nods that she’s OKish and warns Mac of a sneak attack just in time as Moose whiffs on a running knee strike. As Moose untangles himself from the ropes, Mac charges with the bat and connects on the temple. Moose falls in a heap and Mac follows on top. Hightower gets to 3 and Mac has also activated last man standing, getting the count to 7 before Moose is up. The two stand in the ring, face to face with weapons strewn about as fans start to chant there support for Mac, Moose and the match in general.
Mac sends a right to Moose’s jaw, and Moose the same to Mac. This goes on for a bit before Moose stops the rhythm of the fight with a rake to the eyes and an uppercut. Mac falls to a knee, but ducks a big boot try. Moose trips over discarded plunder and right in front of Bridget. As Moose locks eyes on Bridget, she proceeds to spray his eyes with an unknown aerosol, blinding and agonizing Moose all in one swoop. Mac, unaware of the spray, grabs Moose by the head and hoists him in a Flash Drive, dropping his head on top of the barbed-wire board. Mac then retreats to his corner, as Hightower starts the count.
Moose pulls his head up but nothing more.
Moose tries with everything to stand, but cannot, falling face-first into the chair.
Your winner (last man standing, 41:09) and NEW OOWF WORLD CHAMPION, MAC FLASHER!
Mac falls in a heap as Hightower enters the ring with the title in hand. He hands it to Mac as Moose starts to sit up in the corner. The crowd roars for Mac, but not with the intensity they once had. Mac stares at the title and remains on his knees, then slowly gets to his feet and stands and turns toward the ramp expecting, something? Mac stands there…………..no one comes. Mac turns and looks back at Moose in the corner, and he is laughing like a bloodied madman as we fade to black.
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