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Otaku vs. AC Blood

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New member
Nov 16, 2003
Nottingham, England
Angel Wings, please guide me and Otaku!

[FADE IN. We’re in a darkened room, the main source of light coming from a small screen that’s pointing up to the ceiling. We can see a shadowy outline of a figure slumped over it, and, judging by the wire leading from the device to the figure, he’s wearing headphones. Hence why we can’t hear anything, until]

Otaku: YES!! Nicely done Hikaru!

[The cameraman clears his throat, but the headphones are obviously blocking the sound. Finally having enough, someone, probably the boom operator, flicks the lightswitch. We see Otaku sitting there, huddled in a blanket. As the lights come on, he hisses a bit, fumbling to pause his portable DVD player]

Otaku: NO! Dammit… gimme a sec… stop damn you!!

There! Phew… don’t EVER do that again. It’s so not cool man. Interrupting a guys anime…I swear, how low can you get?

Voice: [from behind the camera] You’ve got a match to talk about. We’re not paid until you record, so record.

Otaku: OK, OK, jeez…

[He stands up, throwing the blanket back, as we see him dressed in jeans, and a home-made “Angelic Layer” T-Shirt, featuring Misaki and Hikaru facing each other over a Layer, or the fighting surface from the series]

Otaku: OK, so… sorry it’s taken so long. For some reason I really thought I was facing Hida this week, but instead I’m facing a guy who gets jokes about comic books made against him. At least, I think he gets comic jokes made about him. Or electric jokes. Or maybe both at the same time – you know, AC, DC Comics, alternating current. So, I hope he doesn’t take it badly if I call him Blood, because I really don’t wanna be reminded about an awful set of American comics. Gimme Tokyopop any day.

BUT! To wrestling!

Ya see, Blood, I heard your rant before the first Power Trip, and I watched your match on You Tube afterwards – I was watching Burn Up Excess in the back, ya see – and I must say… no points for style. Like you care, really. I mean, you like to talk and talk and talk and rant and rave like an angry villain… I really should be watching Ikki Tousen to prep for this match, because you remind me of Kannei, and his “Hakufu Sonsaku, I’ll kill you… MEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE!!!!” moments. Ya know, guy lives in the school cellar, totally deranged, thinks someone he killed is giving him orders by text message… ok, scrap the killing, because I don’t know if you’ve done that yet. Though you may have done. Not that that’d make you a bad ass, because you don’t need to kill or swear to be a bad ass. Some of the best bad asses are really polite actually. Some of those are really perverted, but they’re polite perverts.

Now, as for you… sorry, but I’ve been a fan of wrestling most of my life, and I’ve heard your bit a thousand thousand thousand times. “I’m great, look at me, I’m a new breed of superstar who does whatever it takes to get the job done.” That schtick was tired in the nineteen eighties. And, unlike the Studio Ghibli collection, you don’t have the great storyline to make up for the, nowadays, less than stellar animation.

You’re the kinda guy who goes for the uber-intense look, trying to sound like someone new… but no. No no no no no. I bet you’re also the kind who thinks power is great, and boys are superior when it comes to fighting.

But, as Misaki showed against Misaki (thanks to Ringo), just being yourself is what matters.

So, this match? Against Blood, instead of Hida… it’s not about what we look like, or what we do away from the ring, it’s about the heart and drive and determination once the bell rings. Age, gender, size… they don’t matter. What matters is what’s inside. It’s why wrestling and Angelic Layer are so similar.

Anyone can play.

[He smiles, turning slightly to his portable DVD]

Otaku: Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got some ANIME to watch.


Narrator: Next time, on OTAKU!

Misaki Suzuhara: Wow, Mister Icchan, I won my very first Angelic Fight!

Icchan: That’s what happens when you believe in yourself. Train hard and keep having fun, that’s what’s important.

Misaki Suzuhara: Thanks Mister Icchan.

Next Episode: I don’t want to lose! I’m believing in Otaku!

Otaku: Man I love these things!

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