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The REAL Funk U. T-shirt
Aug 26, 2008


Name: Voss
Email Address: fugginvoss@gmail.com
AIM/Yahoo Messenger: l8rgods
Best Way to Contact you: PM - but I'm usually on AIM


Name: pain GRILLÉ
Nicknames: the Toasted Terrorist, the Best Thing Since Sliced Bread, the French Pig
Height: 5'9"
Weight: 185 lbs
Handedness: Left
Looks: He wears a purple mask with a flaming piece of bread on the forehead. There is a piece of bread over the mouth as well which has vertical lines cut into it to breathe through. He wears short sleeve button up shirts unbuttoned to show of his scars, the shirt is always a French version of Hawaiian shirts that he's had customer made (Eiffel towers, Mona Lisa, etc.) He wears black leather pants but never wears shoes, his feet are always taped and ready to kick the crap out of someone.

Hailing From: the Capital of the World, France

Disposition: Bitter Heel
Gimmick: pain GRILLE's wrestling career has been doomed to fail since he has a problem submitting to authority. He will say and do things he believes are right by him outside of what he believes to be in the best interest of his company. He fails to succumb to order and will often rebel against something simply for that fact he's been told not to do it. He is bitter and twisted and resents anybody who has more success than he does. He is a very skilled wrestler/striker but his attitude has been his undoing his entire career. He is also anti-American and pro-France.

Ring Attire: He wears a purple mask with a flaming piece of bread on the forehead. There is a piece of bread over the mouth as well which has vertical lines cut into it to breathe through. He wears purple mid-thigh tights with a piece of bread over teh groin and orange "PG" in the middle. His hands and feet are taped up. He does not wear wrestling boots. His body is scarred from many vicious hardcore battles.


Theme Music: "La Marseillaise" (French National anthem)
Ring Entrance: Baisers emerges from the back, playing "La Marsellaise" on a flute. He is followed by Rendre Singe, who steps out waving the French flag before stopping on the stage. GRILLÉ then emerges from the back with dRESSAGE and fRiTtUrEs in tow behind him. GRILLÉ is pumped, like an MMA fighter getting ready in his corner, bouncing from foot-to-foot and shadow boxing before he stops and salutes the flag, holding the salute until all other members of the French Foreign Legion have saluted. He then storms past the rest of them heading down the ramp, abusing fans on the way past, tearing up signs, trying to remove masks from children (more so if they are his own mask), lashing out at t-shirts. He walks around to the camera side of the ring, steps up onto apron and spits down onto it before wiping his feet where he just spat before stepping through the ropes, stopping to sit on them to turn back to the fans/camera and raise a defiant fist into the air.

Tactics/Style: pain is undersized against most opponents. He relies heavily on an MMA style (although never having had a professional fight) of stiff kicking and speed. Mostly focusing on the back of his opponent's head and one knee throughout a contest he's quite stiff and vicious. Renowned as a hardcore specialist he will put his body on the line to get the job done, regardless of the outcomes to his own body. Think of a smaller Steve Blackman meets Sabu.

Kick the Crap Outta You; he has the stiffest kicks in the business and relies heavily on these, particularly against larger opponents he faces in the ring.
XXXCore; don't get in a ring with him when there are weapons are involved. Just don't do it. Seriously. This guy has a complete and utter disregard for his own body and doesn't care what it takes in those matches to get the job done. Those scars all over his body are proof of this.
Speedy Psycho(logy); pain is fast fuck and his in-ring psychology matches his speed. It's like the difference in pace between an ROH match and a WWE match. He chains together moves faster than most can think of them and can be quite relentless. He's got a lot of experience in wrestling rings and his ability has never been the reason he hasn't succeeded.

Fuck you, man; pain has the worst attitude anybody has ever seen in the existence of the business. He blames others for his shortcomings and will defy orders simply for the fact he's been given orders. His attitude often translates poorly in the ring where he'll be disqualified for stupid things just because the ref told him not to do it. Which is bad for his opponent because he takes it out on them. This succeeds into his temper overcoming him when someone has really gotten under his skin. His attitude costs him matches (and pushes)
Technically speaking... you're just not gonna cut it; he taps easily. He's put his body through that much torment that he will tap more easily than most guys. If he's caught in the middle of the ring he's a goner.
You're gonna kill yourself, man; remember the putting his body on the line to get the job done bit? Well, sometimes that shit backfires and he leaves himself open to be finished off from his own poor decision. Those crazy high spots are awesome when they work but they're some bitch of a thing when they backfire.


Ring Mannerisms/Taunts
if pain downs an opponent, he will spit on the ground beside their head and wipe his feet
See this; http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ufc#Fouls All of this is fair game to pain.
if pain sees an opening, kind'f like when an MMA striker sees the potential to knock out their opponent, GRILLE is like a shark smelling blood and will charge in to take care of business

Every Match Spots
kip up enzuiguri
Toasted: two kicks to the chest followed by a high speed roundhouse kick to the back of the head
twisting elbow drop
kick frenzy (just goes nuts cracking kicks wherever he sees a gap)


Basic Holds/Strikes/Takedowns
double underhook headbutts
springboard jumping high kick
springboard roundhouse kick
bicycle kick
spinning heel kick
sole kick
Mongolian chop
machine gun knife edge chops
head scissors takedown
vertical suplex

Wear Down/Mid-Late Match Holds
fisherman driver
double underhook suplex
side belly-to-belly suplex
sleeper slam
headscissors armbar

Signature/Special Holds
guillotine choke
middle rope hung double underhook DDT

Shining Wizard

Awful Tower - double foot stomp
running punt to the face (feud/message sending finisher)
Last edited:


The REAL Funk U. T-shirt
Aug 26, 2008
French Foreign Legion

(see above)

Rendre Singe
Height: 5'6"
Weight: 150 lbs
Wrestling Style: Zippy, flippy high flying daredevil (see also; Rey Mysterio Jr.)

Signature Moves:
Monkey Grip inverted footstomp facebreaker (double wrist hold and falls onto his back)
Monkey Grip hurricanrana
Five Banana Splash - five star frog splash
Monkey Grip dropkick - double wrist held dropkick to the sternum

Height: 7'0
Weight: 439 lbs
Wrestling Style: Giant powerhouse (see also; Khali)

Signature Moves:
massive chest slap to corner opponent

Supersize Me: chokeslam

Height: 6'0
Weight: 220 lbs
Wrestling Style: Innovative flying techy (see also; AJ Styles)

Signature Moves:
Salad Slam: release flapjack (to running opponent) facebuster
Tossed Salad: lungbuster monkey flip

Flavour Saver Superkick

Height: 6'3"
Weight: 251 lbs
Wrestling Style: Brawler Bump Taker (see also; the Rock)

Signature Moves:
Gettin' Laid: urang suplex (Rock Bottom) (set-up for Long Kiss Goodnight)

Long Kiss Goodnight: diving headbutt (rip off of the People's Elbow where he rips off his mask, hits the ropes, bounces over them, hits the ropes, blows a kiss to them and drops a headbutt fair and square on their cheek)

Off the back of the success of the Legion of Dairy, Spinebuster Wrestling owner & professional wrestler, J. Leslie Voss (now known as Justin Voss), put together his own rip-off of the stable in an attempt to cash in on their success. Locally sourcing talent from Louisiana he found five willing participants with the theme of France. All the members have French themed names: pain GRILLE (French toast), Baisers (French kiss), dRESSAGE (French Dressing), fRiTtUrEs (French fries), and Rendre Singe (French Surrender Monkey).

After the demise of Spinebuster the quintet has had limited exposure outside of Voss' projects, with pain GRILLE the only member of the team (who is the centrepiece) really having much of a career outside of the team. However over the last ten years they always seem to find themselves back together and have formed for the first time outside of one of Voss' projects.

The quartet supporting GRILLE will do whatever he says and support him to the end, regardless of their own thoughts to situations. Even when they're not ringside they're dangerous because that means they're up to something. Despite the comedic aspect to the team, they are anti-America and pro-France and anti-authority.

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